LQS Complaints--Other shoe; same foot.

Julia in MN wrote:

When my kids were about 6-18 months old (30+ years ago), I used a back
pack carrier while shopping with them. They were generally pretty
content because they could see what was going on around them and they
were close to Mom. They got lots of attention because not too many
people used the back carriers. The kids even fell asleep on my back once
in a while.

Julia in MN


Yep! I used one of those with my DS and it was a life-saver. Sadly, DD
wouldn't have it at any price, but she has always been a most compliant
child and walked quietly beside me from a very young age.

I never used leading reins but only because they weren't available when
I wanted them. I think the safety aspect far outweighs any politically
correct notion of 'dog leads'. I did a *lot* of bushwalking when DS was
small and (remember, I'm in Australia where the spiders and snakes will
kill you) unashamedly used to tether him to a tree during rest stops.
Being autistic, DS never much liked to be held or in physical contact
for long, but he was quite happy to puddle about a tree while I had two
hands free to eat my lunch and feed him. But then (go figger), he was
happy enough to be carried along on my back for as long as I could go.
LOL! DS and I are extremely close these days and sometimes I think it
was that backpack that did it for us! ;-D

--
Trish {|:-} Newcastle, NSW, Australia

Taria wrote:

I can remember having one babe in a front carrier and the other
in the stroller. They are 19 months apart. A trip to the
big downtown library was a big outing for me and a great place
for kids to learn about inside voices. They are both to this day
big readers.
That's a nice memory Julia. Thanks for reminding me. There was
a baby in a back carrier at Costco last time I was there. I had a
nice chat with her mama and she was happy as could be. (I admit
my back hurt watching though cause she was kind of big!)
Taria


Hee! Thing is, you start with a little baby, just old enough to hold
his/her head up. That's not real heavy. As the baby grows, your muscles
increase and gain stamina to accommodate the weight.

Once, I went bushwalking at a place called Jerusalem Creek (not
significant, but it was a lovely walk and brings back fond memories...)
We (the Hunter Bird Observers' Group) were being escorted by two
hunormous (and rather hunky) forest rangers. I was only twenty at the
time and DS was nearly one. He was Somewhat Stout back then and I had
been carrying him for the entire morning, up and down tracks and through
some pretty hairy bush. We stopped for lunch in a clearing (didn't need
to tether DS then: he wasn't walking) and had a pleasant lunch.

Afterward, I set about hoicking DS up onto my back and one of the
rangers (the bigger one) offered to carry him for me. I didn't need
that, but the ranger seemed quite keen to help me so I said OK. He
lasted twenty minutes. The other ranger had a go and lasted only
fifteen! They were both really embarrassed and didn't want to hear when
I tried to explain about the muscles developing to cope with the weight.
But it's true! If you want to use a backpack, you need to use it every
day and slowly get used to it.

--
Trish {|:-} Newcastle, NSW, Australia

Thing is, Ash is so not a toddler. He will be 7 in a couple of weeks.
My thinking runs along the lines of anyone who hears him will know
that he is a special needs kid, but both my co-parents are absolutely
paranoid about getting trouble for it.

NightMist
about ready to throw a tantrum at them herself

On Fri, 16 Jun 2006 20:44:18 +0200, "Roberta Zollner"
wrote:

I had one for my DDs, who have consequently survived toddlerhood. I was
paying for something in a store once, and a mom walked by with her toddler
rigged up in the safety leash. The store clerk (not more than 20 or so)
turned to me and commented on evil mothers who treated their sweet little
babies like dogs. Obviously hadn't been much around small children!
Roberta in D

"Polly Esther" schrieb im Newsbeitrag
ink.net...
You can. Mothers only have two hands and that is not enough to keep a
little one (or more) safe when shopping. We had a leash - it looked very
much like suspenders with a serious leash thing fixed to the back waist.
That way, I could be somewhat sure that he wouldn't dart into the path of
an oncoming car or stray from my side. That was more than 50 years ago
but I don't remember a single soul being anything but wanting to know
where a similar harness could be purchased. If anyone had accused me of
cruel or inhuman treatment, we would have bonked them with a spoon. Polly

"NightMist" wrote, in part So far no public tantrums (touch wood),
though
I have wished we could just chain him to one of our waists or
something while we are out.





--
The wolf that understands fire has much to eat.

Dannielle wrote:

I'm gonna have my new little one in a front pouch carrier and the older
one in the stroller, or the little one in the stroller and the bigger
one with a tether. Although the bigger one is pretty good about
staying right with me...

That's what I did with Rocky. He went in the
Baby Bjorn while Pillbug was in the stroller.
However, that did not last long. Rocky was
25 lbs. at 5 months; my back started hurting
too much to carry him!

-- Anita --

NightMist wrote:
Thing is, Ash is so not a toddler. He will be 7 in a couple of weeks.
My thinking runs along the lines of anyone who hears him will know
that he is a special needs kid, but both my co-parents are absolutely
paranoid about getting trouble for it.

Have a word with his social worker or medical team and see what they
think. And see what the law is like on this issue in your state.

90% of the time James was on the lead he also held hands with me or his
dad. The lead wasn't necessary most of the time, but when it was, we
were ALL very glad of it!

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

this sounds *so* familiar - we actually had to have a residents meeting with
the police, social workers etc. and the family needed to be warned that if
they didn't control their kids *now* they would be evicted

it helped for the most part - now he doesn't terrorize the whole
neighbourhood just one poor unfortunate family - we are trying to get that
fixed before the summer holiday starts :-(

--
Jessamy
In The Netherlands
Take out: so much quilting to reply.
Time to accept, time to grow, time to take things slow
www.geocities.com/jess_ayad
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jes...pson/my_photos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I live on a large block with lots of yard space and the
neighbours on either side asked if their kids could continue
to play in the front part of the yard as they had when the
block was empty. I said sure - as long as they understand
the rules. Stay off the garden, don't run around the house
area (a bit dangerous), no throwing stones, don't tease the
cats.

Everything was fine but then new neighbours arrived on one
side.

When the kids bring me my mail (to save me hobbling down to
the mail box) they get a candy - if it is not right before a
meal time and their mums say it is OK. New kid comes to the
door and asks for candy, drops wrappers on the ground and
throws stones. I corrected him very politely in front of
the others and he ran home to tell his "dad" (actually
"partner" of mum of course) and "dad" came racing over and
practically put his fist through my glass door, shouting
"Don't pick on my kid".

Sadly I haven't seen any of the kids for over a week now so
I imagine that the obnoxious neighbours have told the nice
neighbours some dreadful tale about me abusing children. I
will drop in and see T and straighten out any
misunderstanding, but I feel sorry for the child of the
other parents. What chance do they have with such an
example? He now believes that he can do whatever he wants
and that no-one will stop him because his "dad" will
threaten them if they do. ((sigh))

--

Cheryl & the Cats
_ _ _ _ _ _
( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y )
~ ~ ~
Enness Boofhead Donut
Now in hibernation with a wake-up call for Spring!
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau

part of parenting include *ignoring* unwanted behaviour - and that includes
a temper tantrum in a super market
I just tell my 2 year old child that if he wants to cry ok but I am going on
without him - as he only does this to try to get his way there is little
point in him continuing when I am not there. He only did this twice as I
refuse to give in to a screaming child and give him what ever he is
screaming for (usually sweets).

good behaviour is complimented and the kids then get to play on the
supermarket kids computer while I pay at the checkout

--
Jessamy
In The Netherlands
Take out: so much quilting to reply.
Time to accept, time to grow, time to take things slow
www.geocities.com/jess_ayad
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jes...pson/my_photos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I try very hard to be sympathetic. Some exploration is expected. Some
enthusiasm is fine. I can understand a temper-tantrum too. But I expect
mom to be paying attention to the child at that point. It's not going to
go on for very long with mom right there and doing something about it...
compared to the tantrum all the way across the store, or the child
grabbing *my* things.

Curiosity about what I am doing is fine, and I usually respond
positively. But that's different than grabbing my shopping selections or
what I am reaching for.

It's hard to say where the line is between what I will give a dirty look
for or actually dare to interfere (which is much further along).

Parenting is a very hard job to do. I do try to compliment good parents
and good kids.

-georg

Jessamy wrote:

part of parenting include *ignoring* unwanted behaviour - and that includes
a temper tantrum in a super market

Hehehehe... I've done that one!

I just tell my 2 year old child that if he wants to cry ok but I am going on
without him - as he only does this to try to get his way there is little
point in him continuing when I am not there. He only did this twice as I
refuse to give in to a screaming child and give him what ever he is
screaming for (usually sweets).

Yup - sometimes takes resolution, but I have dragged a boiled goblin up
Faversham Highstreet when my cherub had a blue fit at leaving the pub.
Didn't want to leave, so threw a scarlet faced LOUD screaming tantrum.
All my friend and I did as he struggled up the high street screaming
I-DON'T-WANNA-LEAVE-THE-PUUUUUUUB!!! at the top of his voice was giggle
and walk quicker. He was soon too breathless to scream, and thus
stopped. Every time he threatened to start again, we'd step up the pace...

We didn't need to say a thing to him, and when we went in a shop, and
the shopkeeper said he looked cross, we just told her: he's having a
tantrum about nothing. I'll take him out and run him up the street
again if he starts screaming. She giggled and said she wished more folk
would do that.

good behaviour is complimented and the kids then get to play on the
supermarket kids computer while I pay at the checkout

Good behaviour gets the treat they wouldn't have got for screaming for
it. James would ask Please can I have... or Please can we go/do...
and my reply was always If you are good! If he wasn't, he'd get told:
this is naughty, so no such&such. It's all about rewarding the
behaviour you want and ignoring what you don't. Persistent poor
behaviour after warnings will be punished. James once lost all the
books and toys in his room for a week after one glorious tantrum, and
spent many a bored hour in there with nothing to do. I never needed to
do it again - the threat is still enough, many years later!

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Yup - sometimes takes resolution, but I have dragged a boiled goblin up
Faversham Highstreet when my cherub had a blue fit at leaving the pub.
Didn't want to leave, so threw a scarlet faced LOUD screaming tantrum.
All my friend and I did as he struggled up the high street screaming
I-DON'T-WANNA-LEAVE-THE-PUUUUUUUB!!! at the top of his voice was giggle
and walk quicker. He was soon too breathless to scream, and thus
stopped. Every time he threatened to start again, we'd step up the pace...

** ohhh *evil* i love it!! hehehe i wil file this oen for furute reference -
i'm bound to need it someday ;-) i did once walk around the super market
with my youngest nephew under my arm - feet forwards and head backwards when
the threw a hissy fit and kept him there till he agreed to behave , but
sadly my kids think that that is *fun* so i can't use that

We didn't need to say a thing to him, and when we went in a shop, and
the shopkeeper said he looked cross, we just told her: he's having a
tantrum about nothing. I'll take him out and run him up the street
again if he starts screaming. She giggled and said she wished more folk
would do that.
Good behaviour gets the treat they wouldn't have got for screaming for
it. James would ask Please can I have... or Please can we go/do...
and my reply was always If you are good! If he wasn't, he'd get told:
this is naughty, so no such&such. It's all about rewarding the
behaviour you want and ignoring what you don't. Persistent poor
behaviour after warnings will be punished. James once lost all the
books and toys in his room for a week after one glorious tantrum, and
spent many a bored hour in there with nothing to do. I never needed to
do it again - the threat is still enough, many years later!

**the kids are at this very moment recoveing from being bunged in bed for
misbehaving (3 strikes = out as it were) - i suspect they will remeber this
for a while lol

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
--
Jessamy
In The Netherlands
Take out: so much quilting to reply.
Time to accept, time to grow, time to take things slow
www.geocities.com/jess_ayad
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jes...pson/my_photos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jessamy wrote:

**the kids are at this very moment recoveing from being bunged in bed for
misbehaving (3 strikes = out as it were) - i suspect they will remeber this
for a while lol

I never put him to bed as a punishment: bed was always a warm, snuggly
retreat at the end of the day. I did barricade him into his room on
several occasions. Half an hour later everything would go quiet... Ten
minutes after that I'd go in and find him in a heap on the bed with all
his bears, sound asleep. An hour later he'd be up and sunny as usual.
This happened about once every month or so. Like I say, I was spoiled -
he very rarely turned from cherub to boiled goblin, and when he did, it
was nasty but short lived. When he was really small they usually
happened if he was hungry, needed changing, or was tired: perm any two
or add all three for fun! After the age of two, frustration and
boredom would occasionally spark one, and the trick there is to keep the
little bugger occupied with something safe. Shopping is horrifically
boring for small kids, but occasionally one cannot escape taking them,
and I used to give James things to find for me and his own basket.
Occasional 'treats' would sneak in (like a pack of mini Jaffa cakes!),
but they usually got put back or we negotiated on them.

The screaming brat in supermarket scenario was one of the prime movers
in Alan taking over the grocery shopping... Well that and the fact that
it reduces ME to screaming fits! We'd starve if he didn't do it! These
days James fights to push the trolley round. Oddly, he likes doing
that. Still, if one has a strapping 11 YO with decent muscles, one
might as well make use of him!

James's fits of boiled goblinitus were sufficiently rare that I remember
such episodes as Faversham High Street, the Embarrassing Bread Shop Trip
in Richmond, and why we had to buy him a coat in Zurich!
--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!