OT - Story: My child hating reputation

My daughter asked if I felt bad that I didn't have any grandchildren (5
years ago). I responded that I could always borrow them. And after saying
that I realized it was an odd thing to say. But you see, in Alaska, both
the Athabaskan and the Eskimo societies believe children are an asset of the
village/tribe, and they are shared.

Someone with 6 children would probably have a daughter living with a
relative without daughters, or a son living with an uncle who needed someone
to pass on his skills/trade to. A child would be "given" to an
"grandparent" to learn stories or herbal lore, while hauling water for the
elder. These traditions were more necessary in more difficult times, but
they are still part of the lifestyle.

People "from the village" commonly speak of "my mother" referring to someone
who birthed them, and "my Mom" as someone who raised them, or someone who
took over their care when there was some sort of problem. And they might
have as many as 3 or 4 of these "my mother"s. There is acknowledgement that
all children are not psychologically suited to their parents. We all love
our children, but sometimes we don't like them. There's no shame in that.

We need uncles and grandparents and cousins, etc, but they don't have to be
blood relatives. And every village needs children, but not every adult
needs them.

Tina


"Carla" wrote ...
People want to know if I regret that I'll never have grandchildren.
(No, they'd want to touch my beads!)

Cheers,
Carla

I wasn't going to be allowed to have First Holy Communion with the rest of
my class. It was because there as a prayer I couldn't memorize. I am not a
rote learner, or even very verbal, and memorizing words is very difficult
for me. However I had been going to class an extra year because I couldn't
stand being left behind when my older brother started Sunday school, and I
did have an excellent grasp of the concepts involved.

Tina


"vj" wrote in message
...
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson"
:

]But not before I glanced in and saw that the nun had
]blood trickling from her nose, and the chips were scattered across the
]floor.

LOL!!!!!!! boy, did you ever find out what brought that on???????

-----------
@vicki [SnuggleWench]
(Books) http://www.booksnbytes.com
newest creations: http://www.vickijean.com/new.html
-----------
I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America,
and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples,
promising liberty and justice for all.

My experiences with the nuns were very good (Or they were afraid of my
mother -- lol). But seriously. The nuns were a Jesuit branch, so there
was a high level of intellectual interest, and a certain freedom of thinking
was encouraged. My only bad experience with the clergy was this one
instance of being left out for a reason that was not understood by the nun.

I lived in the same neighborhood all my childhood. The Catholics in my area
all were taught by these same nuns. I heard no horror stories while growing
up. And I have never actually met anyone who claims horrendous experiences.
I know there have been lots of nuns with rules and corporal punishment. I
believe it's fairly common because of lots of anecdotal evidence. But the
abuse that we hear so much of in media, I have never heard about in person.
I do not believe it is as common as people in the media like to make it
sound, though I have no doubt it happened.

Tina


"Kathy N-V" wrote ...
I would have paid to see that!

Has anyone outside of Boston heard that some deaf people between the ages
of
41 and 67 are filing suit against the Sisters of Saint Joseph, saying that
when the Sisters were their teachers, they used corporal punishment? I
don't
know a Catholic person over forty who _didn't_ get beat one time or
another
(or a lot) by a nun.

Hearing that nuns used beat on kids is like hearing that the sun rises in
the
East. But unless things are a lot worse than the news stories are saying,
I
cannot imagine suing for getting a few hard whacks with a ruler. It
wasn't
right, but it was certainly accepted by the community standards of the
time.

Kathy N-V

What a lovely, sensible way of life.

But I am not showing this to my Sister cos she'll want me to take one or
both of her girls, since they are both so much like me they could be
mine (in behaviour that is not looks), their little brother has the
quiet temperament of his Daddy which is just as well.
:-)



In article , Christina Peterson
writes
My daughter asked if I felt bad that I didn't have any grandchildren (5
years ago). I responded that I could always borrow them. And after saying
that I realized it was an odd thing to say. But you see, in Alaska, both
the Athabaskan and the Eskimo societies believe children are an asset of the
village/tribe, and they are shared.

Someone with 6 children would probably have a daughter living with a
relative without daughters, or a son living with an uncle who needed someone
to pass on his skills/trade to. A child would be "given" to an
"grandparent" to learn stories or herbal lore, while hauling water for the
elder. These traditions were more necessary in more difficult times, but
they are still part of the lifestyle.

People "from the village" commonly speak of "my mother" referring to someone
who birthed them, and "my Mom" as someone who raised them, or someone who
took over their care when there was some sort of problem. And they might
have as many as 3 or 4 of these "my mother"s. There is acknowledgement that
all children are not psychologically suited to their parents. We all love
our children, but sometimes we don't like them. There's no shame in that.

We need uncles and grandparents and cousins, etc, but they don't have to be
blood relatives. And every village needs children, but not every adult
needs them.

Tina


"Carla" wrote ...
People want to know if I regret that I'll never have grandchildren.
(No, they'd want to touch my beads!)

Cheers,
Carla



--
ally
website: www.alcom.demon.co.uk

I love
those totally moronic "what ifs". "What if more women felt like you?" is
right up there with "What if there was an angry unicorn on the dark side
of the moon?"

Yeah. "What if you had some brains?" Jeez.

I would have responded that "it's my duty as a Black woman to ram this
chair leg up your butt, you moron!"

Haw haw HAW! The idea of another adult telling me what my duty is just fries
me.
~~
Sooz
-------
"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John
Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html

boggle WHO takes a baby to Las Vegas??? And WHY???

I know. (They were everywhere)
~~
Sooz
-------
"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John
Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html

When people asked us "when we were going to have another child," Bob usually
responded: "Kath, get over here. These people want us to f*ck on their
carpet!"

HAAAAAAAAW HAW HAW! I love Bob!

Sometimes, in mixed company, he would just tell them that we will start
trying that very night, and that we'd picture their smiling faces the whole
time. On the surface that one is more polite, but it freaks people out if
you tell them that you're thinking of them while you have sex with someone
else.

HAAAAAAAAW!


~~
Sooz
-------
"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John
Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html

That's terrifying! They leave their children alone in a mall? What the...?

Good way to get your child snatched by perverts. Who else do they think hangs
out in malls, looking for kids to prey upon? Big DUH.
~~
Sooz
-------
"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John
Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html

DD, her friends and I go to the mall. At least one child needs a watch, and
I always wear a watch. I go to the food court, read and get a cup of tea,
and DD wanders off with her friends to a designated quadrant of the mall.
They all have to report back to me

And she's FOURTEEN. Very different story.
~~
Sooz
-------
"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John
Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html

When I was in undergrad (mid 80's) we were having some kind of child or
population discussion in one of my sociology classes. I commented that I
didn't want to have kids. OMG - you would gave thought that I'd said "for
my next trick I will now poke out the eyes of puppies, kitties, and fluffy
little bunnies". Geez.

I've never wanted to have kids of my own. My Mom always thought I'd change
my mind - once I met the right guy and got married (hahahaha). But she also
had the goal of none of us kids having kids at an early age (she was 16 when
she had my oldest brother). She got grandchildren from my brothers. I
never had any pressure from my parents to be married or have kids - yay.

But people can be rude and I've learned it's not an opinion (not having
kids) that is welcome in our society.

Kathy K
"Kalera Stratton" wrote in message
...
I'm boggling.

What do people think is selfish about not having children? I always
thought it was the opposite! I considered it a very selfish decision to
have kids... I mean, I didn't have them to bestow upon a poor hapess
soul the precious gift of life (guffaw) but because *I wanted to have
kids.* I. Me. Hello, me? I certainly wasn't thinking about how fulfilled
they would be when I cuddled and nursed them, or how cute they would
think I was.

Do people really think not having kids is selfish? What on earth are
they thinking of? Selfish *how*?

This makes me do the big "whatever!" My eyes are wide. I just plain
don't get it.

As for the ballet, some people are FREAKING CLUELESS. That's the whole
"sense of entitlement" problem rearing its ugly head again. Kids acting
up? LEAVE! Better yet, have the common sense not to take them in the
first place. Kathy, good for you. I hope it made them reconsider taking
their kids to formal grown-up venues. What torment for the kids, besides!

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Lee S. Billings wrote:

Ditto. And they call ME "selfish" for not wanting to have kids?!!

One of the things I really despise about our current culture is that we
have
completely discarded the notion that there is ANY venue which is
inappropriate
for children. What do these kids have to look forward to as they grow
up?

Celine