OT - I'm Back

Well it has been an extremely hectic two weeks with lots of tears, stress
and emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. We made it to Little Rock
without a hitch. Our oldest son, our daughter and her baby flew down with us
and youngest son met us by the airport. So we all drove to my oldest
brothers' house from there. We got there just in time to say "hi" to
everyone, change clothes and head for the funeral home. They had the casket
open for family viewing so I at least got to see my brother one last time.
It was just so surreal. I still can't believe he's gone. To give you an idea
of the goodness in him, there were over 1000 people that showed up for
visitation, many stood in line for over 2 hours in the sweltering heat to
pay their respects. Visitation was supposed to be from 5-8 but we didn't get
out of there until almost 10:00pm. My OB (oldest brother) rode YB's (younger
brother) motorcycle in and had it parked at the end of his casket.

The funeral home was packed for the funeral too. A lot of their motorcycle
buddies led the procession from the funeral home to the cemetery and I think
there were over a hundred bikes there. It was amazing. I was really upset
that morning because it rained and I didn't want the burial to be marred by
rain. But it quit raining by the time we got to the cemetery.

We found out that one of the witnesses to the accident is a good friend of
my parents and another witness is a friend and co-worker of my cousin's
husband. The co-worker is also a first responder and EMT. So YB was in good
hands and was alone on the highway. The police caught the truck driver,
arrested her and impounded her truck. I don't know yet if they will file
charges against her or not, that is up to the prosecuting attorney. She
denied even seeing the my brother or the motorcycle but the witnesses said
there is no way the she could have NOT seen it. The only thing we can figure
out is that she fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the median into YB's
lane. He locked up the wheels on his bike when he saw her and swerved into
the other lane then laid his bike down. The witness said he absolutely did
everything right to avoid a collision. It's just a shame that it cost him
his life. I still can't believe he's gone and I saw him in the casket and
touched his cold lifeless hand but it's still not real.

Then Friday morning I sent DH and YS off to Dallas since DH had to help his
parents load up the truck with household goods to move back to Minnesota.
Saturday morning OS, daughter and baby went to the airport where I sent them
back to New York and I went to Dallas to catch up with DH. Linda, I'm so
sorry that I didn't have time to call you but our plans just got totally
changed when I got word of the accident. So we packed up the truck and left
early Sunday morning for Minnesota. FIL and I switched off driving the car
and DH and his oldest brother, who flew down from MN, switched off driving
the truck. We got into his sister's house Monday night, unloaded the truck
Tuesday and rested a bit Wednesday. I did get to go to Hancock's in Crystal
on Wednesday and bought several yards of fabric.

Then Wednesday night our friend from Council Bluffs drove up to pick us up
since we were flying out of Omaha to come home. We left Thursday to go to
CB. Friday she and I hit Hancock's there and I got a several more pieces of
fabric. Then Saturday we went to the zoo for some fun that didn't require
much thinking. We saw Deep Sea in 3D at the Imax. It was great. We flew out
of Omaha yesterday at 3:00. At some point DH got a message from our daughter
to call her at work so when we got to Chicago I called her to see what was
up. Things have not been going well at all for her with her boyfriend and
his mother. So we told her that if she ever needed to get out she could
always come back home. So she called to say that she needed to take us up
on our offer of a place to stay. So this morning DH went over and got her
and the baby and they are now living with us again. I'm glad to have her out
of that house and situation.

Now comes the hard part though. It has been really difficult putting on a
happy face the past week when all I really wanted to do was lay down and cry
until there were no more tears. It was so hard to see DH and his brothers
together and be reminded that my brother is gone. Even though I have DH, my
oldest son and daughter here, my family, as in parents, brother and sister
are all within an hour of each other. They have each other as a support
system and I feel so totally left out and alone. How pathetic does that
sound?!! But what sounds even more pathetic is the fact that I get so angry
sometimes that someone as good as my brother was taken so tragically and so
young when evil people like my DH's ex and Candy's mother are left here to
continue their reign of evilness. Where is the justice? Brother was a helper
and the sheer number of people who turned out for visitation and the
funeral are a testament to his life and the people he touched. Yet DH's ex
is still walking the earth continuing to come between DH and his girls and
Candy's mother is still here causing problems so that we don't get to see
Logan as much as we should.

Ok I've ranted enough. I do want to thank all of you for the hugs, prayers,
good thoughts and all the support you have sent my way. It really meant a
lot to me and to just say thanks seems so inadequate but I do want to thank
you all from the bottom of my heart. I will continue to hold all that
support in my heart in the dark days to come and I know there will be dark
days because the depression has already set in. I just have to deal with it
now. Thanks for listening everyone and thanks for letting me get this out.
I'm off to take a nap while the babies are asleep. I'm exhausted.

Hugs,
Mika

Mika wrote:

Well it has been an extremely hectic two weeks with lots of tears, stress
and emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. We made it to Little Rock
without a hitch. Our oldest son, our daughter and her baby flew down with us
and youngest son met us by the airport. So we all drove to my oldest
brothers' house from there. We got there just in time to say "hi" to
everyone, change clothes and head for the funeral home. They had the casket
open for family viewing so I at least got to see my brother one last time.
It was just so surreal. I still can't believe he's gone. To give you an idea
of the goodness in him, there were over 1000 people that showed up for
visitation, many stood in line for over 2 hours in the sweltering heat to
pay their respects. Visitation was supposed to be from 5-8 but we didn't get
out of there until almost 10:00pm. My OB (oldest brother) rode YB's (younger
brother) motorcycle in and had it parked at the end of his casket.

I'm glad you got the chance to say goodbye. I felt that was very
important when we did the same for my darling MIL last summer.

That cycle touch was a very good thought.

The funeral home was packed for the funeral too. A lot of their motorcycle
buddies led the procession from the funeral home to the cemetery and I think
there were over a hundred bikes there. It was amazing. I was really upset
that morning because it rained and I didn't want the burial to be marred by
rain. But it quit raining by the time we got to the cemetery.

It's funny how those big hairy bikers really take care of their own.
You somehow don't expect it, but like us quilters, they make real
communities that hang together. It's a good feeling to have at times
like this.

We found out that one of the witnesses to the accident is a good friend of
my parents and another witness is a friend and co-worker of my cousin's
husband. The co-worker is also a first responder and EMT. So YB was in good
hands and was alone on the highway. The police caught the truck driver,
arrested her and impounded her truck. I don't know yet if they will file
charges against her or not, that is up to the prosecuting attorney. She
denied even seeing the my brother or the motorcycle but the witnesses said
there is no way the she could have NOT seen it. The only thing we can figure
out is that she fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the median into YB's
lane. He locked up the wheels on his bike when he saw her and swerved into
the other lane then laid his bike down. The witness said he absolutely did
everything right to avoid a collision. It's just a shame that it cost him
his life. I still can't believe he's gone and I saw him in the casket and
touched his cold lifeless hand but it's still not real.

It never is. Takes a good while to get used to it, especially when it's
so sudden, whatever the cause. Let it sink in slowly.

Then Friday morning I sent DH and YS off to Dallas since DH had to help his
parents load up the truck with household goods to move back to Minnesota.
Saturday morning OS, daughter and baby went to the airport where I sent them
back to New York and I went to Dallas to catch up with DH. Linda, I'm so
sorry that I didn't have time to call you but our plans just got totally
changed when I got word of the accident. So we packed up the truck and left
early Sunday morning for Minnesota. FIL and I switched off driving the car
and DH and his oldest brother, who flew down from MN, switched off driving
the truck. We got into his sister's house Monday night, unloaded the truck
Tuesday and rested a bit Wednesday. I did get to go to Hancock's in Crystal
on Wednesday and bought several yards of fabric.

Then Wednesday night our friend from Council Bluffs drove up to pick us up
since we were flying out of Omaha to come home. We left Thursday to go to
CB. Friday she and I hit Hancock's there and I got a several more pieces of
fabric. Then Saturday we went to the zoo for some fun that didn't require
much thinking. We saw Deep Sea in 3D at the Imax. It was great. We flew out
of Omaha yesterday at 3:00. At some point DH got a message from our daughter
to call her at work so when we got to Chicago I called her to see what was
up. Things have not been going well at all for her with her boyfriend and
his mother. So we told her that if she ever needed to get out she could
always come back home. So she called to say that she needed to take us up
on our offer of a place to stay. So this morning DH went over and got her
and the baby and they are now living with us again. I'm glad to have her out
of that house and situation.

((((((HUGS)))))) to help you all cope.

Now comes the hard part though. It has been really difficult putting on a
happy face the past week when all I really wanted to do was lay down and cry
until there were no more tears. It was so hard to see DH and his brothers
together and be reminded that my brother is gone. Even though I have DH, my
oldest son and daughter here, my family, as in parents, brother and sister
are all within an hour of each other. They have each other as a support
system and I feel so totally left out and alone. How pathetic does that
sound?!! But what sounds even more pathetic is the fact that I get so angry
sometimes that someone as good as my brother was taken so tragically and so
young when evil people like my DH's ex and Candy's mother are left here to
continue their reign of evilness. Where is the justice? Brother was a helper
and the sheer number of people who turned out for visitation and the
funeral are a testament to his life and the people he touched.

Anger is part of the greiving process. And do lie down and cry. You DH
may be sharing a lot of those feelings and may also feel guilt that his
siblings are intact while your family is no longer whole. Share the
feelings, share the sorrow: it helps it to heal.

Yet DH's ex
is still walking the earth continuing to come between DH and his girls and
Candy's mother is still here causing problems so that we don't get to see
Logan as much as we should.

There is no justice in these things. ((((((HUGS))))))

Ok I've ranted enough. I do want to thank all of you for the hugs, prayers,
good thoughts and all the support you have sent my way. It really meant a
lot to me and to just say thanks seems so inadequate but I do want to thank
you all from the bottom of my heart. I will continue to hold all that
support in my heart in the dark days to come and I know there will be dark
days because the depression has already set in. I just have to deal with it
now. Thanks for listening everyone and thanks for letting me get this out.
I'm off to take a nap while the babies are asleep. I'm exhausted.

Not at all surprised! You rest up - we'll be here when you wake.

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

In article ,
"Mika" wrote:

Well it has been an extremely hectic two weeks with lots of tears, stress
and emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. We made it to Little Rock
without a hitch. Our oldest son, our daughter and her baby flew down with us
and youngest son met us by the airport. So we all drove to my oldest
brothers' house from there. We got there just in time to say "hi" to
everyone, change clothes and head for the funeral home. They had the casket
open for family viewing so I at least got to see my brother one last time.
It was just so surreal. I still can't believe he's gone. To give you an idea
of the goodness in him, there were over 1000 people that showed up for
visitation, many stood in line for over 2 hours in the sweltering heat to
pay their respects. Visitation was supposed to be from 5-8 but we didn't get
out of there until almost 10:00pm. My OB (oldest brother) rode YB's (younger
brother) motorcycle in and had it parked at the end of his casket.

The funeral home was packed for the funeral too. A lot of their motorcycle
buddies led the procession from the funeral home to the cemetery and I think
there were over a hundred bikes there. It was amazing. I was really upset
that morning because it rained and I didn't want the burial to be marred by
rain. But it quit raining by the time we got to the cemetery.

We found out that one of the witnesses to the accident is a good friend of
my parents and another witness is a friend and co-worker of my cousin's
husband. The co-worker is also a first responder and EMT. So YB was in good
hands and was alone on the highway. The police caught the truck driver,
arrested her and impounded her truck. I don't know yet if they will file
charges against her or not, that is up to the prosecuting attorney. She
denied even seeing the my brother or the motorcycle but the witnesses said
there is no way the she could have NOT seen it. The only thing we can figure
out is that she fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the median into YB's
lane. He locked up the wheels on his bike when he saw her and swerved into
the other lane then laid his bike down. The witness said he absolutely did
everything right to avoid a collision. It's just a shame that it cost him
his life. I still can't believe he's gone and I saw him in the casket and
touched his cold lifeless hand but it's still not real.

Then Friday morning I sent DH and YS off to Dallas since DH had to help his
parents load up the truck with household goods to move back to Minnesota.
Saturday morning OS, daughter and baby went to the airport where I sent them
back to New York and I went to Dallas to catch up with DH. Linda, I'm so
sorry that I didn't have time to call you but our plans just got totally
changed when I got word of the accident. So we packed up the truck and left
early Sunday morning for Minnesota. FIL and I switched off driving the car
and DH and his oldest brother, who flew down from MN, switched off driving
the truck. We got into his sister's house Monday night, unloaded the truck
Tuesday and rested a bit Wednesday. I did get to go to Hancock's in Crystal
on Wednesday and bought several yards of fabric.

Then Wednesday night our friend from Council Bluffs drove up to pick us up
since we were flying out of Omaha to come home. We left Thursday to go to
CB. Friday she and I hit Hancock's there and I got a several more pieces of
fabric. Then Saturday we went to the zoo for some fun that didn't require
much thinking. We saw Deep Sea in 3D at the Imax. It was great. We flew out
of Omaha yesterday at 3:00. At some point DH got a message from our daughter
to call her at work so when we got to Chicago I called her to see what was
up. Things have not been going well at all for her with her boyfriend and
his mother. So we told her that if she ever needed to get out she could
always come back home. So she called to say that she needed to take us up
on our offer of a place to stay. So this morning DH went over and got her
and the baby and they are now living with us again. I'm glad to have her out
of that house and situation.

Now comes the hard part though. It has been really difficult putting on a
happy face the past week when all I really wanted to do was lay down and cry
until there were no more tears. It was so hard to see DH and his brothers
together and be reminded that my brother is gone. Even though I have DH, my
oldest son and daughter here, my family, as in parents, brother and sister
are all within an hour of each other. They have each other as a support
system and I feel so totally left out and alone. How pathetic does that
sound?!! But what sounds even more pathetic is the fact that I get so angry
sometimes that someone as good as my brother was taken so tragically and so
young when evil people like my DH's ex and Candy's mother are left here to
continue their reign of evilness. Where is the justice? Brother was a helper
and the sheer number of people who turned out for visitation and the
funeral are a testament to his life and the people he touched. Yet DH's ex
is still walking the earth continuing to come between DH and his girls and
Candy's mother is still here causing problems so that we don't get to see
Logan as much as we should.

Ok I've ranted enough. I do want to thank all of you for the hugs, prayers,
good thoughts and all the support you have sent my way. It really meant a
lot to me and to just say thanks seems so inadequate but I do want to thank
you all from the bottom of my heart. I will continue to hold all that
support in my heart in the dark days to come and I know there will be dark
days because the depression has already set in. I just have to deal with it
now. Thanks for listening everyone and thanks for letting me get this out.
I'm off to take a nap while the babies are asleep. I'm exhausted.

Hugs,
Mika


Kate has already said much of what I would have said, Kim. My DT went
through much the same thing as you are experiencing now when our DF died
some years ago. She was living so far away and had just come for a visit
a month previously when DF suddenly had a fatal heart attack; we hadn't
even known he had a heart condition. She couldn't come back again for
the funeral and felt guilty and left out. I did all I could to console
her via telephone, but I know she suffered. All of that is natural and
part, as Kate said, of the grieving process. I know I also felt guilty
when DT's first baby (11 months old at the time) died. After all, I had
two healthy children, and she had none right then; I felt as though I
should offer her one of mine, though of course I didn't.

Just know that we're all here for you. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}
--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education

Condolences to you Mika. So terribly sad to lose someone this way. I
lost my brother 2 yrs ago, older than yours by the sound of it, but
nonetheless, just as tragic.
Like yours, he was dearly loved and honoured at the funeral. I took
much comfort in that he left an indelible mark on the people around
him. I've coped by focussing on his life and finding positives, small
that they are - i.e. no suffering or a future of no quality of life,
how he achieved so much in his time with work and travel etc. I just
occasionally mutter to myself 'such a waste, not fair' and then try to
think of a good time about him.
Soon you will find reason to smile again and laugh, but for the moment,
let your emotions run over you. It really helps to talk or write about
it, (sorry for the listeners!).
Love to you and hugs
Bronwyn



Mika wrote:
Well it has been an extremely hectic two weeks with lots of tears, stress
and emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. We made it to Little Rock
without a hitch. Our oldest son, our daughter and her baby flew down with us
[snip]

Mika,

I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I have no words of wisdom
to offer. This just sucks! And there's nothing to do but go forward.

I must say, I was very touched by the obvious love and respect so many
have your brother. You must have many wonderful memories of him. One
day the loss won't be as acute, and you will be able to enjoy them
without such sadness.

Michelle in NV

Mika wrote:
Well it has been an extremely hectic two weeks with lots of tears, stress
and emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. We made it to Little Rock
without a hitch. Our oldest son, our daughter and her baby flew down with us
and youngest son met us by the airport. So we all drove to my oldest
brothers' house from there. We got there just in time to say "hi" to
everyone, change clothes and head for the funeral home. They had the casket
open for family viewing so I at least got to see my brother one last time.
It was just so surreal. I still can't believe he's gone. To give you an idea
of the goodness in him, there were over 1000 people that showed up for
visitation, many stood in line for over 2 hours in the sweltering heat to
pay their respects. Visitation was supposed to be from 5-8 but we didn't get
out of there until almost 10:00pm. My OB (oldest brother) rode YB's (younger
brother) motorcycle in and had it parked at the end of his casket.

The funeral home was packed for the funeral too. A lot of their motorcycle
buddies led the procession from the funeral home to the cemetery and I think
there were over a hundred bikes there. It was amazing. I was really upset
that morning because it rained and I didn't want the burial to be marred by
rain. But it quit raining by the time we got to the cemetery.

We found out that one of the witnesses to the accident is a good friend of
my parents and another witness is a friend and co-worker of my cousin's
husband. The co-worker is also a first responder and EMT. So YB was in good
hands and was alone on the highway. The police caught the truck driver,
arrested her and impounded her truck. I don't know yet if they will file
charges against her or not, that is up to the prosecuting attorney. She
denied even seeing the my brother or the motorcycle but the witnesses said
there is no way the she could have NOT seen it. The only thing we can figure
out is that she fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the median into YB's
lane. He locked up the wheels on his bike when he saw her and swerved into
the other lane then laid his bike down. The witness said he absolutely did
everything right to avoid a collision. It's just a shame that it cost him
his life. I still can't believe he's gone and I saw him in the casket and
touched his cold lifeless hand but it's still not real.

Then Friday morning I sent DH and YS off to Dallas since DH had to help his
parents load up the truck with household goods to move back to Minnesota.
Saturday morning OS, daughter and baby went to the airport where I sent them
back to New York and I went to Dallas to catch up with DH. Linda, I'm so
sorry that I didn't have time to call you but our plans just got totally
changed when I got word of the accident. So we packed up the truck and left
early Sunday morning for Minnesota. FIL and I switched off driving the car
and DH and his oldest brother, who flew down from MN, switched off driving
the truck. We got into his sister's house Monday night, unloaded the truck
Tuesday and rested a bit Wednesday. I did get to go to Hancock's in Crystal
on Wednesday and bought several yards of fabric.

Then Wednesday night our friend from Council Bluffs drove up to pick us up
since we were flying out of Omaha to come home. We left Thursday to go to
CB. Friday she and I hit Hancock's there and I got a several more pieces of
fabric. Then Saturday we went to the zoo for some fun that didn't require
much thinking. We saw Deep Sea in 3D at the Imax. It was great. We flew out
of Omaha yesterday at 3:00. At some point DH got a message from our daughter
to call her at work so when we got to Chicago I called her to see what was
up. Things have not been going well at all for her with her boyfriend and
his mother. So we told her that if she ever needed to get out she could
always come back home. So she called to say that she needed to take us up
on our offer of a place to stay. So this morning DH went over and got her
and the baby and they are now living with us again. I'm glad to have her out
of that house and situation.

Now comes the hard part though. It has been really difficult putting on a
happy face the past week when all I really wanted to do was lay down and cry
until there were no more tears. It was so hard to see DH and his brothers
together and be reminded that my brother is gone. Even though I have DH, my
oldest son and daughter here, my family, as in parents, brother and sister
are all within an hour of each other. They have each other as a support
system and I feel so totally left out and alone. How pathetic does that
sound?!! But what sounds even more pathetic is the fact that I get so angry
sometimes that someone as good as my brother was taken so tragically and so
young when evil people like my DH's ex and Candy's mother are left here to
continue their reign of evilness. Where is the justice? Brother was a helper
and the sheer number of people who turned out for visitation and the
funeral are a testament to his life and the people he touched. Yet DH's ex
is still walking the earth continuing to come between DH and his girls and
Candy's mother is still here causing problems so that we don't get to see
Logan as much as we should.

Ok I've ranted enough. I do want to thank all of you for the hugs, prayers,
good thoughts and all the support you have sent my way. It really meant a
lot to me and to just say thanks seems so inadequate but I do want to thank
you all from the bottom of my heart. I will continue to hold all that
support in my heart in the dark days to come and I know there will be dark
days because the depression has already set in. I just have to deal with it
now. Thanks for listening everyone and thanks for letting me get this out.
I'm off to take a nap while the babies are asleep. I'm exhausted.

Hugs,
Mika

Welcome back, Mika. Know that I'm praying for you. How awesome that his
friends showed up in such quantities. Feel free to rant/cry/scream/whatever.
It will help you move forward through this crushing grief to something more
like acceptance. But don't let anyone hurry you, it needs to be progress at
your pace. Email me if you want to talk.
--
TerriLee in WA (state)
remove the cats to reply
http://community.webshots.com/myphot...umID=548330161

"Mika" wrote in message
...
Well it has been an extremely hectic two weeks with lots of tears, stress
and emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. We made it to Little
Rock
without a hitch. Our oldest son, our daughter and her baby flew down with
us
and youngest son met us by the airport. So we all drove to my oldest
brothers' house from there. We got there just in time to say "hi" to
everyone, change clothes and head for the funeral home. They had the
casket
open for family viewing so I at least got to see my brother one last time.
It was just so surreal. I still can't believe he's gone. To give you an
idea
of the goodness in him, there were over 1000 people that showed up for
visitation, many stood in line for over 2 hours in the sweltering heat to
pay their respects. Visitation was supposed to be from 5-8 but we didn't
get
out of there until almost 10:00pm. My OB (oldest brother) rode YB's
(younger
brother) motorcycle in and had it parked at the end of his casket.

The funeral home was packed for the funeral too. A lot of their motorcycle
buddies led the procession from the funeral home to the cemetery and I
think
there were over a hundred bikes there. It was amazing. I was really upset
that morning because it rained and I didn't want the burial to be marred
by
rain. But it quit raining by the time we got to the cemetery.

We found out that one of the witnesses to the accident is a good friend of
my parents and another witness is a friend and co-worker of my cousin's
husband. The co-worker is also a first responder and EMT. So YB was in
good
hands and was alone on the highway. The police caught the truck driver,
arrested her and impounded her truck. I don't know yet if they will file
charges against her or not, that is up to the prosecuting attorney. She
denied even seeing the my brother or the motorcycle but the witnesses said
there is no way the she could have NOT seen it. The only thing we can
figure
out is that she fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the median into YB's
lane. He locked up the wheels on his bike when he saw her and swerved into
the other lane then laid his bike down. The witness said he absolutely did
everything right to avoid a collision. It's just a shame that it cost him
his life. I still can't believe he's gone and I saw him in the casket and
touched his cold lifeless hand but it's still not real.

Then Friday morning I sent DH and YS off to Dallas since DH had to help
his
parents load up the truck with household goods to move back to Minnesota.
Saturday morning OS, daughter and baby went to the airport where I sent
them
back to New York and I went to Dallas to catch up with DH. Linda, I'm so
sorry that I didn't have time to call you but our plans just got totally
changed when I got word of the accident. So we packed up the truck and
left
early Sunday morning for Minnesota. FIL and I switched off driving the car
and DH and his oldest brother, who flew down from MN, switched off
driving
the truck. We got into his sister's house Monday night, unloaded the truck
Tuesday and rested a bit Wednesday. I did get to go to Hancock's in
Crystal
on Wednesday and bought several yards of fabric.

Then Wednesday night our friend from Council Bluffs drove up to pick us up
since we were flying out of Omaha to come home. We left Thursday to go to
CB. Friday she and I hit Hancock's there and I got a several more pieces
of
fabric. Then Saturday we went to the zoo for some fun that didn't require
much thinking. We saw Deep Sea in 3D at the Imax. It was great. We flew
out
of Omaha yesterday at 3:00. At some point DH got a message from our
daughter
to call her at work so when we got to Chicago I called her to see what was
up. Things have not been going well at all for her with her boyfriend and
his mother. So we told her that if she ever needed to get out she could
always come back home. So she called to say that she needed to take us up
on our offer of a place to stay. So this morning DH went over and got her
and the baby and they are now living with us again. I'm glad to have her
out
of that house and situation.

Now comes the hard part though. It has been really difficult putting on a
happy face the past week when all I really wanted to do was lay down and
cry
until there were no more tears. It was so hard to see DH and his brothers
together and be reminded that my brother is gone. Even though I have DH,
my
oldest son and daughter here, my family, as in parents, brother and sister
are all within an hour of each other. They have each other as a support
system and I feel so totally left out and alone. How pathetic does that
sound?!! But what sounds even more pathetic is the fact that I get so
angry
sometimes that someone as good as my brother was taken so tragically and
so
young when evil people like my DH's ex and Candy's mother are left here to
continue their reign of evilness. Where is the justice? Brother was a
helper
and the sheer number of people who turned out for visitation and the
funeral are a testament to his life and the people he touched. Yet DH's ex
is still walking the earth continuing to come between DH and his girls and
Candy's mother is still here causing problems so that we don't get to see
Logan as much as we should.

Ok I've ranted enough. I do want to thank all of you for the hugs,
prayers,
good thoughts and all the support you have sent my way. It really meant a
lot to me and to just say thanks seems so inadequate but I do want to
thank
you all from the bottom of my heart. I will continue to hold all that
support in my heart in the dark days to come and I know there will be dark
days because the depression has already set in. I just have to deal with
it
now. Thanks for listening everyone and thanks for letting me get this out.
I'm off to take a nap while the babies are asleep. I'm exhausted.

Hugs,
Mika

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mika}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Debi

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

--
Donna in NE La.
"Mika" wrote in message
...
Well it has been an extremely hectic two weeks with lots of tears, stress
and emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. We made it to Little
Rock
without a hitch. Our oldest son, our daughter and her baby flew down with
us
and youngest son met us by the airport. So we all drove to my oldest
brothers' house from there. We got there just in time to say "hi" to
everyone, change clothes and head for the funeral home. They had the
casket
open for family viewing so I at least got to see my brother one last time.
It was just so surreal. I still can't believe he's gone. To give you an
idea
of the goodness in him, there were over 1000 people that showed up for
visitation, many stood in line for over 2 hours in the sweltering heat to
pay their respects. Visitation was supposed to be from 5-8 but we didn't
get
out of there until almost 10:00pm. My OB (oldest brother) rode YB's
(younger
brother) motorcycle in and had it parked at the end of his casket.

The funeral home was packed for the funeral too. A lot of their motorcycle
buddies led the procession from the funeral home to the cemetery and I
think
there were over a hundred bikes there. It was amazing. I was really upset
that morning because it rained and I didn't want the burial to be marred
by
rain. But it quit raining by the time we got to the cemetery.

We found out that one of the witnesses to the accident is a good friend of
my parents and another witness is a friend and co-worker of my cousin's
husband. The co-worker is also a first responder and EMT. So YB was in
good
hands and was alone on the highway. The police caught the truck driver,
arrested her and impounded her truck. I don't know yet if they will file
charges against her or not, that is up to the prosecuting attorney. She
denied even seeing the my brother or the motorcycle but the witnesses said
there is no way the she could have NOT seen it. The only thing we can
figure
out is that she fell asleep at the wheel and crossed the median into YB's
lane. He locked up the wheels on his bike when he saw her and swerved into
the other lane then laid his bike down. The witness said he absolutely did
everything right to avoid a collision. It's just a shame that it cost him
his life. I still can't believe he's gone and I saw him in the casket and
touched his cold lifeless hand but it's still not real.

Then Friday morning I sent DH and YS off to Dallas since DH had to help
his
parents load up the truck with household goods to move back to Minnesota.
Saturday morning OS, daughter and baby went to the airport where I sent
them
back to New York and I went to Dallas to catch up with DH. Linda, I'm so
sorry that I didn't have time to call you but our plans just got totally
changed when I got word of the accident. So we packed up the truck and
left
early Sunday morning for Minnesota. FIL and I switched off driving the car
and DH and his oldest brother, who flew down from MN, switched off
driving
the truck. We got into his sister's house Monday night, unloaded the truck
Tuesday and rested a bit Wednesday. I did get to go to Hancock's in
Crystal
on Wednesday and bought several yards of fabric.

Then Wednesday night our friend from Council Bluffs drove up to pick us up
since we were flying out of Omaha to come home. We left Thursday to go to
CB. Friday she and I hit Hancock's there and I got a several more pieces
of
fabric. Then Saturday we went to the zoo for some fun that didn't require
much thinking. We saw Deep Sea in 3D at the Imax. It was great. We flew
out
of Omaha yesterday at 3:00. At some point DH got a message from our
daughter
to call her at work so when we got to Chicago I called her to see what was
up. Things have not been going well at all for her with her boyfriend and
his mother. So we told her that if she ever needed to get out she could
always come back home. So she called to say that she needed to take us up
on our offer of a place to stay. So this morning DH went over and got her
and the baby and they are now living with us again. I'm glad to have her
out
of that house and situation.

Now comes the hard part though. It has been really difficult putting on a
happy face the past week when all I really wanted to do was lay down and
cry
until there were no more tears. It was so hard to see DH and his brothers
together and be reminded that my brother is gone. Even though I have DH,
my
oldest son and daughter here, my family, as in parents, brother and sister
are all within an hour of each other. They have each other as a support
system and I feel so totally left out and alone. How pathetic does that
sound?!! But what sounds even more pathetic is the fact that I get so
angry
sometimes that someone as good as my brother was taken so tragically and
so
young when evil people like my DH's ex and Candy's mother are left here to
continue their reign of evilness. Where is the justice? Brother was a
helper
and the sheer number of people who turned out for visitation and the
funeral are a testament to his life and the people he touched. Yet DH's ex
is still walking the earth continuing to come between DH and his girls and
Candy's mother is still here causing problems so that we don't get to see
Logan as much as we should.

Ok I've ranted enough. I do want to thank all of you for the hugs,
prayers,
good thoughts and all the support you have sent my way. It really meant a
lot to me and to just say thanks seems so inadequate but I do want to
thank
you all from the bottom of my heart. I will continue to hold all that
support in my heart in the dark days to come and I know there will be dark
days because the depression has already set in. I just have to deal with
it
now. Thanks for listening everyone and thanks for letting me get this out.
I'm off to take a nap while the babies are asleep. I'm exhausted.

Hugs,
Mika

Dear Mika, I am sending you alot of warm hugs to comfort you and your
family. Yes it is hard to understand why "good" people are taken from us
and the "evil" ones stay on Earth. I have asked those questions many times
too. There are no good answers. Next time you make it to Big D, just call.
Linda in Tx