OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

mini Mini wrote:
If there is a Sephora near you, you can return stuff there. Not sure
about make up but I returned a sun cream that turned out to have mineral
oil in it. I went to buy a different one & the sales lady said to bring
back the one I didn't want! I was surprised, but they took it back. But
of course, I spent my money on something else!

Never heard of them.....

Tricia

Nod....I have a hard time following through on returning things that
were purchased incorrectly.....

Tricia

Johanna Gibson wrote:
Be careful on this one. I tried to take a suit back to a famous
chain store here - Marks & Spencer's - and they refused to have it
back because it had some wrinkles in it. Well, yes, I tried it on
when I got home. They claimed that I had worn it, and therefore could
not return it. So make sure you return something in a really good
condition! Marks & Spencer's used to have a really good (almost too
good - it was costing them thousands) return policy. Obviously too
many people took advantage of them and they are cracking down now.




-- Jo in Scotland

Thanks for the input =)

Tricia

wrote:
During my teen years I had other things on my mind, so I did not delve
into makeup and fancy hairdos. Later I did so and after trying a
number of things found that makeup did not work on me at all due to a
skin condition. My extremely fine hair is impossible for even
beauticians to handle, so I have a simple hair style. I do keep
myself presentable in every other way and I think that lack of makeup
and fancy hair styles have NOT stopped me from getting any jobs.

If you look at many women who accomplished much, you will often find
that they have simple hair styles that require minimal care. They are
busy with greater issues.

Bev in TX

I understand Tricia. It is painful, really, to be in a new place. We lived
in the same city for 5 generations and then, here we were in the Swamp.
These are not exactly friendly, gregarious people. Bit by wee little bit, I
have made progress. At your church and at your guild, you can see 'who's
doing things' and offer to help. Or, . . . ask for help. I know I startle
people when I see a wonderful head of hair and say to the stranger, "Your
hair is gorgeous, how do you Do that?" Of course, I never say it to someone
carrying a submachine gun. Thus far, they've all been delighted and eager
to share. The student who stocks groceries at my store stands taller and
preens a bit when I buggy by. (And . . . I know who cuts her hair.)
The key word here is tenacity. Free translation: hell bent
determination. Polly

Polly Esther wrote:

Start asking women whose hair you admire who their stylist is. Try a
couple. I'll bet there's one who can do wonders for you. And yes, make
an
appointment with your Mary Kay lady when you and she are unhurried.
Those
ladies know their business.

And Tricia wrote
Will start inquiring to find one -- I still consider myself new to the
area and that's sort of adding to my "I feel awful and pitiful about
myself" mood today. Any suggestions for meeting friends? I didn't
feel comfortable at the quilt guild meeting, although to be honest, I
dont' think I gave it enough of a try. The next meeting won't be for
another few weeks though. Church, while people are nice, hasn't
exactly netted me someone I feel I can turn to short of the Pastor who
is so very busy I don't feel she has a chance to *focus* on a
conversation.

Tricia wrote:
Nails are growing the last few years for the first time in my life (the
positive side of the hormone issue). I finally found my nailfile (had
temporarily been using one of those emery boards from a high end hotel
bathroom kit) and curved off the edges last night. They aren't a
uniform length but they appear to be healthy. I rarely polish them
because I usually make a mess with the polish but every so often I try
it.
I think nails are healthier when they're not polished. Before I was
married, I had lots of trouble with brittle, peeling nails. I was
careful to keep them polished because I thought it would strengthen
them. Then I started working in a library and was working a lot with a
card catalog; those cards were hard on the nail polish, so I quit using
it. Surprisingly, my nails got a lot healthier and stronger then. I
suppose some would say my problems were a result of dime-store nail
polish and polish remover, and they might be right to some extent, but
now I figure it's not worth the bother. I try to keep my nails trimmed
and nicely shaped and figure that should be enough.

Julia in MN

Julia in MN


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With eye makeup (shadow, liner and mascara), you want to replace it about
every 4-6 months, because of risk of eye infections. I don't buy expensive
makeup for this reason. Lipsticks and foundation can be kept for a year,
but usually no longer than that. I don't buy expensive makeup for this
reason. Normally, I just wear a tinted moisturizer, a little blush, and
mascara, but i work in a warehouse with boys who don't care...LOL.

--
Jenn/Jalynne
quilting, beads, scrapbooking, cross stitch and other 'crafti' obsessions
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jalynne29/my_photos
Live! http://kinneykreations.com

"Tricia" wrote in message
oups.com...
Wow! thanks. Okay, I do own (although they are old) eyeshadow in a
nice collection of browns and greens (I have hazel eyes), a brown
eyeliner pencil (somewhere...that one probably does need replacing) and
a lipstick color that honestly is too wrong for my coloring for daily
wear but dramatic for nightwear -- oh, and a nice goldish/peach
lipgloss. I don't even know where to start with my eyebrows. I don't
think they are unruly growth wise -- just extremely light -- except for
the errant dark brown hairs that show up now and then.

Nails are growing the last few years for the first time in my life (the
positive side of the hormone issue). I finally found my nailfile (had
temporarily been using one of those emery boards from a high end hotel
bathroom kit) and curved off the edges last night. They aren't a
uniform length but they appear to be healthy. I rarely polish them
because I usually make a mess with the polish but every so often I try
it.

I got my wardrobe colors good. I'm comfortable with that. I can't
always find what I want but I no longer buy the stuff that really isn't
my coloring anymore -- least not in dress up clothes.

Shoes -- every day wear is a pair of new balance gym shoes (tennis
shoes, whatever they are called nowadays). They were doctor
recommended for support. Dressy I have two pairs of Mushrooms, modest
heel -- navy blue and ivory/cream.

Thanks mini Mini! That was a lot to process....

Tricia

mini Mini wrote:
I learned from my mother & friends mothers, my girlfriends, reading
magazines and practicing to see what I like. I've changed my style over
the years. But basically, I learned
- A little goes a long way
- You have to work with what you have.
- Make up is to enhance not to cover up.

You need four things for day: That's it:
_eyeshadow_ in brown/tan/beige, (depending on how light or dark you
are), ie neutral colors
_eyeliner_ that is a little darker than your eyeshadow (pencil, dont'
get the liquid stuff, that's advanced level!),
_brow pencil or powder_ the color of your brow,
_lipstick_ in a color that is the color of your lips but just a bit
darker.
Use a tiny bit and blend slightly with your fingers.

Get your eyebrows shaped professionally. It is worth the investment. You
will be surprised how much better your eyes look!

Keep yourself neat and tidy.

Take care of your nails. They don't have to be long claws, just clean &
tidy.

Stick with classics and neutral colors: dont' try to be trendy.

Buy the best you can afford in natural fabrics, in your correct size,
get them altered if they don't fit properly. Then take care of them.

Invest in well made leather shoes, and take care of them (keep them
clean & polished). Our feet are much more important than most people
treat them.

Work with what you have: if you have straight hair work with that. If
you have curly hair work with that. It is little use trying to fight it
if you dont' have experience and an investment in lots of product. Keep
your hair clean & tidy. Get a good hair cut and keep it healthy and
tidy. Find a good product for flyaway or dry hair. (but a little goes a
long way. Don't drown your hair in product)

That's it. All my wisdom I impart on you, my child, and you will look a
million dollars! ;o)

Pat in Virginia wrote:
Tricia:
Interesting topic! I like how helpful
and kind everyone has been with this.


Me too...I'm thankful for it. It wasn't easy to post about.

As Polly said, first impressions are
important. I see so many people with
'who cares' hair! If your pony tail is
too fly-away, maybe you need a nice bob.

That's the current hair style. I didn't do a headband for the
interview -- I *think* my hair basically behaved enough (I pray it
did...it looked good when I left the house and when I got to the
building the interview was it)

That is generally a neat and
professional look. Pony tails and head
bands will not impress the interviewers.
My hair is straight and not very heavy.
It has nice sheen though.

Mine is THICK! and heavy. When it is in a good in-between length and
the stars are lined up just right, I can get it in a semi decent french
twist -- nothing fancy but at least it is up off my neck. I'm lucky if
it stays half a day though (even with hair spray -- when sprayed, it
just falls in larger clumps instead of small ones *snicker*). When
long, it has a slight wave to it, when shorter it is usually straight
except for the nasty cowlick I inherited from my father right in the
middle of my bangs. Oh, and even in the bob (this is almost humorous),
one side flips under, the other side flips out -- I've had hair cutting
people actually spend 15-20 minutes just trying to fix the side that
wouldn't cooperate.


For now, do not worry about the make up
and cosmetics. You need to learn good
SKIN CARE! The Mary Kay consultants do
this quite well; experienced ones do it
best, of course. Go on line and look for
a "Director" who will have that
experience. (I DID sell MK at one time,
but NOT now, so NAYY, I just like the MK

Okay, now I'll be seeking a director rather than just any other
consultant, thanks for the heads up...

Skin Care.) Once you get a handle on
Skin Care, you can look into a light
foundation, a dash of lipstick soft
blush, and some mascara. Go for a
polished and natural look.

polished and subtle is what I want -- I am not an ugly person, I know
that -- I just would rather accentuate than distract from the gifts I
was given.


HTH. Be sure to take some Before and
After photos. PAT

Egads -- ya'll want photos. Ouch!

Thanks Pat,
Tricia

okay, I'm jealous...way jealous! Sounds like exactly what I need as an
initial boost....

Thanks,
Tricia

Nancy in NS wrote:
On 28 Aug 2006 08:12:24 -0700, "Tricia"
wrote:

...I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread.

The first time I paid much attention to things like hair and
makeup was after the birth of my younger daughter. Feeling
fat, frumpy and long overdue for a change of hairstyle, I
made an appt at a hair salon that I had never used before,
sat in the chair, and said, "Make me beautiful." No
kidding! That elicited a few laughs, but when they knew I
was truly seeking some guidance, the stylist seemed to know
exactly what to do. She consulted with a couple of the
other stylists and we ended up getting rid about 8" of hair
and giving me a short, layered style that not only took
*years* off the way I looked AND felt, but was so easy to
look after with a new baby.

While I was there, I had eyebrows waxed for the first time,
someone showed me how to apply natural-looking makeup, and I
had a manicure -- something I'd never splurged on before.
The total tally for the excursion was close to $100, but I
walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. :-)

Nancy in NS
http://community.webshots.com/user/loves2quilt

Tricia wrote:
Thanks for the advice....I got my hair cut last back in mid-June (just
before my grandfather passed) and went from long to a bob between my
chin and my shoulders and the response I got from a lot of people was
really positive. I like the style, I just dont' know how often to have
it cut.
I have mine cut about every 6 weeks. My hair is really short, so you
probably don't need to have it cut that often. But if it's been since
mid-June, you are probably due for a trim.

Julia in MN

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Sherry Starr wrote:
I agree with Polly. An employer is not going to hire someone who gives the
appearance they don't care about the way they look. You can go to the
cosmetic counter at any department store, and they will be happy to help
you. They will show you how to apply the makeup. I use Clinique, and I get
a free face makeup several times a year. Ask someone to give you the name
of their hair stylist. Also, go to a gym, YWCA, or local recreation group
and see if there are some exercise classes you can take. You can also
change the way you eat. Cut your portions down, don't eat between meals.
If you need a snack, eat a small apple or something like that. First
impressions are everything. You have to give the impression that you care
about your appearance.

Sherry Starr

Nod....I am currently having to work with the fitness instructor on
campus and my doctor to design an updated workout routine from what I
was doing this summer because my heart rate was giving me major issues
so hopefully that will be taken care of and finalized very soon. Today
was the first day I could connect with the FI as she had been on
vacation. I have taken off (and last I knew, maintained a loss of)
nearly 5 lbs since I started my old program about 2 months ago and my
eating habits have been improving. The weight was put on due to
hormonal fluctuations and hormone treatments for health issues
(something in that apparently kicked in the genes from the maternal
side of my family line instead of the paternal which had been in
control before then). It was not a result of eating habits or not
caring. The medical issues I was dealing with were more pressing than
worrying about gaining weight while they were being treated -- we all
figured the weight would come back off and my metabolism would return
to what it was once I was off the hormone treatments -- turns out, we
were wrong. Now I'm trying to get back to something reasonable -- not
an easy thing for someone who never had to be concerned about what was
eaten or how much was eaten for the first 20 years of her life --
actually the concern for me as a child was that I didn't gain weight
when I should have (I was 25 lbs for 3 years straight as a toddler --
no significant fluctuation or gain)

Thanks Sherry,
Tricia