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#31
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Polly Esther wrote: My goodness. Let's see if I got all of that: flyaway hair, pimples, overweight and no makeup. Yes, indeed, sweet Tricia, you've hit the nail on the head. You summed it up alright -- =( I wouldn't be tempted to hire anyone who gave the impression that she didn't give a happy hoot how she looked. I'd think if you didn't care about that, then you wouldn't care how the job you did looked either. That's a tacky criteria but first impressions are so very important. I do care how I look and that's part of what irritates me about the situation is fearing the fact that I do care doesn't show. DH just paused by here and asked what was going on with the quilters today. I told him, and I told him my reaction. DH says, "You're a big help". Heck. What am I supposed to do? Tell you it doesn't matter? Nope. Let's Do something. Bless your DH *hugs for him* Start asking women whose hair you admire who their stylist is. Try a couple. I'll bet there's one who can do wonders for you. And yes, make an appointment with your Mary Kay lady when you and she are unhurried. Those ladies know their business. Will start inquiring to find one -- I still consider myself new to the area and that's sort of adding to my "I feel awful and pitiful about myself" mood today. Any suggestions for meeting friends? I didn't feel comfortable at the quilt guild meeting, although to be honest, I dont' think I gave it enough of a try. The next meeting won't be for another few weeks though. Church, while people are nice, hasn't exactly netted me someone I feel I can turn to short of the Pastor who is so very busy I don't feel she has a chance to *focus* on a conversation. We're going to get your 'best foot forward' if we have to bring a few gators and personally take over. We shall overcome. Polly I think a few of those 'gators hitched a ride north with a fair company -- DH and I went walking around what was left of the county fair yesterday and one of the things available as a paid attraction was to go see the 'gators. Thanks Polly.... Tricia |
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#32
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Julia in MN wrote: Or if you have a BeautiControl consultant in your area, give her a call. They also help with wardrobe colors. Department store makeup counters can also help. Julia in MN When I got interested in fabric and learning to sew, I did get books out of the library for the color selection thing and learned that I am very definitely a SPRING and am very comfortable with picking flattering colors for clothes -- that is one that I am fairly well versed in when seeking business/work clothes. When I "bum around" town or home I tend to do jeans and any old t-shirt but for work I *can* dress. The principal where I was teaching called me into her office one day for a discussion on upgrading my work wardrobe (I was being too casual in my dress). I went and bought a bunch of things that are very nice. Some don't fit appropriately anymore due to some weight gain/redistribution, but some still do. The Sears downstate actually has a decent ladies/petites department, although none of the pants in the two piece items fit me (Kate D -- any tips for a newbie on hemming up tapered slacks?) but I found a nice brand of pants that I could wear nicely and bought a mixture of colors to fill the gaps. The nearest dept store is a small JC Penny and this one doesn't have a make up counter (I went tonight and checked). The Sears outside town is strictly appliances and manly machines. I'm now starting to look for others that might be nearby that I dont' know about (I was never much of a shopper either -- another teen girly thing that just passed me by). Thanks Julia, Tricia |
#33
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Thanks for the input Georg =) I'm usually very soft hearted when
someone is suggesting products for me to buy, esp if there has been something I would consider special like a make over or something but someone else had mentioned the needing to wait to make sure there isn't a skin reaction and that would be true for me too. Tricia Georg wrote: Tricia wrote: Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? I learned 75% of my make up expertise in the theater. The rest I picked up watching my mom or my older sister or my friends. One learning experience that I can recommend is to go to any make up counter where someone is paid to offer makeovers. Or call Mary Kay or Avon and ask them to come to your house for a facial/sample. These people will be very happy to take the time to teach you how to use their products. Of course, their goal is to sell you their products- but you do not have to buy anything. I still hate wearing make up and only do it very rarely. But I know how to apply it without a spackling knife or looking weird. -georg |
#34
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
JustJoanQuilts wrote: I have always said I don't like wearing it but in reality, I was just never any good at it so gave up on it. That's familiar...thanks for sharing that I'm not alone in this. Tricia |
#35
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Kate Dicey wrote: The make-up stuff is just practice and experimentation, like quilting. VERY like quilting! You find colours and styles that you like and experiment until you modify them to suit you, and then you keep doing them until you get good at it. Then you can slowly modify them again as you mature/change/whatever... *snicker* That scares me actually BEG my quilt stuff doesn't look that good up close either. I don't, and never have (even as a student teacher!) worn make-up in school, not since I was a kid and a pupil with faaaaaar too much time on my hands at boarding school!! No-one ever commented, not wearing it never lost me a job, and it didn't lose me the respect of colleagues. But then I always knew who and what I was, what I was doing, and had the confidence to carry it off. I think it has a lot to do with your sense of self worth and your self image rather than the war paint as such. I agree and that's a part of why I don't think it affected me too much when I was teaching -- I just know I was also dealing with some who were old school enough that I didn't "look" professional without make up -- but to be honest, it's only looking back that I think that was even slightly an issue then. My principal used to have a slight issue with it until I made it very clear one day in the teachers lunch room that I was purposely setting an example for our teenage girls that they didn't need to be spackling themselves (and since make up was against dress code for the students she seemed to realize what I was doing was a good thing for our girls). I have lost a huge chunk of that confidence with the weight gain (being overweight wasn't ever something I experienced -- I was always underweight until I had a hormone issue kick in and since....ikes!) and with being in a new environment. I have had so much work rejection in the last year, I'm beginning to doubt my worth as a contributing member of the community. The weight and the spots may have more to do with it than the lack of make-up, but again, I suspect your projection of yourself rather than how you look: if *you* see these as disadvantages, they will be. I didn't find my excess weight to be a problem in getting a job, but it might be if it affects your mobility and you get breathless stomping up stairs. Personally, even if hormonally induced, I wouldn't be slastering my face with make-up if the spots were on the rampage. I'd be avoiding it more than ever, and pestering the quack for a solution. The weight doesn't much effect my mobility (I can't squeeze into tight spaces anymore but it's not a hinderance on movement) and since I began a workout program a few months ago, the stairs don't even seem to have an effect on my asthma these days. These are about the only times I bother with make-up these days - and I'm pushing 50! Clear skin and a good moisturiser are far better for you than an inch of slap! Mind you, I have dark eyes, lashes and brows, and colour in my cheeks. If you are fair to mousey with lightly marked brows and not a lot of colour in you, you may find a little subtle help goes a long way. Subtle is what I want -- what I can do currently is clownish, looking very much like someone very inept. I am fair, with freckles, light eyebrows, glasses (although more stylish than previous pairs -- contacts not an option -- I don't put things in my eyes). Oh, my face soap of choice is still noxema cream original. I like how my skin feels in general when I use it. These days when I do access the war paint, I tend to use a light tinted moisturiser (I like the Nivea Visage ones), good quality eye make-up (Clinique, Dior, Guerlaine, and Lancome), and Maybeline or Miners mascara. For some reason all the 'really good' makes of make-up do really crap mascara! I have heard that a lot! (the mascara thing). Does anyone here from the states know off hand if the Visage is available stateside? When I did have a little help at the Satin Hands thing with MK, I discovered that they don't have a liquid foundation near enough to my coloring so the gal had me order a powder that comes very close -- however, I can't seem to apply it right or something -- it is always noticable -- I look, well, dusty (and I try to buff a lot to take most of it off so it isn't caked on -- at least that's the intent). I think a liquid would be easier to control. Just buy a little, some good cleanser that suits your skin, and some decent brushes (make up artists use sable paint brushes, not 'make-up' brushes!) and have fun! Hmm..other than the brushes that come with, I've only ever owned a separate brush and that's usually been for attempting to apply powder. Thanks Kate -- Tricia |
#36
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Taria wrote: DOn't be afraid of the whole mess. You might have nailed it right there Taria -- fear! I always wind up with one of a few select styles when I get my hair cut because I'm freaked that something will go horribly wrong if I go with something else. *snicker* Thanks, Tricia |
#37
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Wow! thanks. Okay, I do own (although they are old) eyeshadow in a
nice collection of browns and greens (I have hazel eyes), a brown eyeliner pencil (somewhere...that one probably does need replacing) and a lipstick color that honestly is too wrong for my coloring for daily wear but dramatic for nightwear -- oh, and a nice goldish/peach lipgloss. I don't even know where to start with my eyebrows. I don't think they are unruly growth wise -- just extremely light -- except for the errant dark brown hairs that show up now and then. Nails are growing the last few years for the first time in my life (the positive side of the hormone issue). I finally found my nailfile (had temporarily been using one of those emery boards from a high end hotel bathroom kit) and curved off the edges last night. They aren't a uniform length but they appear to be healthy. I rarely polish them because I usually make a mess with the polish but every so often I try it. I got my wardrobe colors good. I'm comfortable with that. I can't always find what I want but I no longer buy the stuff that really isn't my coloring anymore -- least not in dress up clothes. Shoes -- every day wear is a pair of new balance gym shoes (tennis shoes, whatever they are called nowadays). They were doctor recommended for support. Dressy I have two pairs of Mushrooms, modest heel -- navy blue and ivory/cream. Thanks mini Mini! That was a lot to process.... Tricia mini Mini wrote: I learned from my mother & friends mothers, my girlfriends, reading magazines and practicing to see what I like. I've changed my style over the years. But basically, I learned - A little goes a long way - You have to work with what you have. - Make up is to enhance not to cover up. You need four things for day: That's it: _eyeshadow_ in brown/tan/beige, (depending on how light or dark you are), ie neutral colors _eyeliner_ that is a little darker than your eyeshadow (pencil, dont' get the liquid stuff, that's advanced level!), _brow pencil or powder_ the color of your brow, _lipstick_ in a color that is the color of your lips but just a bit darker. Use a tiny bit and blend slightly with your fingers. Get your eyebrows shaped professionally. It is worth the investment. You will be surprised how much better your eyes look! Keep yourself neat and tidy. Take care of your nails. They don't have to be long claws, just clean & tidy. Stick with classics and neutral colors: dont' try to be trendy. Buy the best you can afford in natural fabrics, in your correct size, get them altered if they don't fit properly. Then take care of them. Invest in well made leather shoes, and take care of them (keep them clean & polished). Our feet are much more important than most people treat them. Work with what you have: if you have straight hair work with that. If you have curly hair work with that. It is little use trying to fight it if you dont' have experience and an investment in lots of product. Keep your hair clean & tidy. Get a good hair cut and keep it healthy and tidy. Find a good product for flyaway or dry hair. (but a little goes a long way. Don't drown your hair in product) That's it. All my wisdom I impart on you, my child, and you will look a million dollars! ;o) |
#38
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
I didn't know until the suggestions here that make up people at
department stores did makeovers for free.....of course, I don't spend much time in department stores *blush* Thanks for the advice....I got my hair cut last back in mid-June (just before my grandfather passed) and went from long to a bob between my chin and my shoulders and the response I got from a lot of people was really positive. I like the style, I just dont' know how often to have it cut. Tricia Sandy Foster wrote: In article . com, "Tricia" wrote: Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Tricia, I think you're getting lots of good input here, and I'm just going to add a little bit to that. I'm the type who doesn't feel dressed without makeup. G First, go to a *really* good makeup counter in a big store for a free make-up lesson. You may have to buy one or two little things (unless you're stronger than I am g), but it will be worth it. Those gals really know their stuff. I had a Mary Kay makeover once -- she'd had next to no training, and it showed. Once you see how the makeup is applied, you can decide whether to do it exactly the same way or to tone it down just a bit or to ramp it up a notch. Invest in some little makeup sponges; they're worth their weight in gold for blending, blending, blending so you don't get the "clown effect". g As for your hair, make an appointment with a hair stylist whose work you admire -- preferably one who has done hair similar to yours. Not everyone has easily-styled hair (I don't), and you need to learn how to work with the kind you have. Once you find a style you like and can maintain (and that your hair will condescend to work with), you can keep going to whatever hair stylist you've discovered does the best job for *your* hair. Good luck! As Polly says, first impressions are so very important. The lack of makeup doesn't mean you're not a good person, but you only get that one chance to make a good first impression. People can't help being swayed by appearances. -- Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1 AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education |
#39
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
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#40
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Pauline wrote: Well, I concur with some of the other suggestions. If you live in an area that has department stores, just make a phone call & ask if you can get a complimentary make up consultation with one of their consultants. Sometimes a particular make-up company will have a special, but most often, even if there isn't a special going on, one of the consultants will happily do it for you. And there shouldn't be any charge for it. They are hopeful that you'll spend some money, so it's in their best interests. Most of the make up consultants in department stores are employed by the manufacturer, not the department store. And don't feel you have to buy everything or anything from them. I always tell them I need to wear it for the rest of the day to see if my skin reacts to anything - which is true. If the new product Thank you for bringing that up. It gives me a ready thing in mind when I go in there to keep from getting pressured into something that I could very well regret (for any number of reasons) later on. Regarding hair - not my strength either - but I try to stay with a fairly "simple" hairstyle, while still looking stylish. I've always threatened to move my current hairstylist into my house with me, so they can fix my hair in the morning. Do as others have suggested - if you see a hairstyle you like, ask someone where they get their hair done. Take into consideration if you have fine hair, curly hair, coarse hair, etc. because someone that has a different texture of hair from yours will end up with a different look than you. You can also "interview" potential hairstylists to see if you *how* do you do that -- interview hairstylists? Maybe it's the places I go but I've never had someone really work with me, well, not true -- one guy one time took one good look at me and just declared he was going to make me beautiful and did a wonderful job on my hair, helped me with some basics in hair styling products (small talk by bed head). However, by teh time I went back (I use annoyance as the main deciding factor on when to get my hair cut) he had moved on to a better quality place (I assume) and I couldn't track him down. I hate when I go in some place regularly and each person who works with my hair gives me conflicting recommendations on products, etc. think you will work well together. See what they suggest & explain how it's a weak area for you, so it needs to be doable for YOU. Sometimes it takes a few visits for your hairstylist & you to get to a good spot. I also recommend seeing a dermatologist if your skin is breaking out. Don't try to "fix" it yourself. You need to see a professional. New patient appointment is Oct. 20th. I know I probably made it sound like I was a "pizza face" but in reality it's just a few (half dozen maybe) spots -- but very noticable and more than I had as a teenager and they come with my cycle more often than not. If you're worried about your weight - try to dress in a way that helps to camoflage the areas you're most concerned about. This is another area where a good sales person can help you. And remember - you can always return anything you buy that you have buyers remorse after you get home & try it on again. You can also return make-up - even to drug stores. (It looked different when I got it home - it made me break out - it creased in my eyelids, etc.) Good luck - you sound like you need a lift & taking it one step at a time will really help you to feel better about your appearance. Keep us posted! Pauline Thanks Pauline, You are right, I do need a lift -- in a big way. I was in the throes of a really bad bout of PMS this morning when I was typing (and crying) away, am slightly better now but these are issues that have been bothering me -- they just don't seem to reach critical status unless the hormones are wacked. Tricia |
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