The Grace Cometh

You must know my husband--except in our house, we've reversed the process. We
already have the table saw, the lathe (with some kind of Super Deluxe Chuck),
the drill press, and the bandsaw. We no longer bother referring to it as the
garage--it's the shop. Makes it a lot easier to raise the issue of a quilting
machine!

(Porter-Cable router here
I come! Bwahaaahahahahaha!).
--
Frank Reid


Nurse Ratched (remove "cuckoo" from address to reply)
We'll all get back to normal if we put our nation first,
But the trouble with "normal" is, it always gets worse. ~Bruce Cockburn

Good story.

On Mon, 7 Jul 2003 23:26:30 -0400, "Frank Reid"
moc.deepselbac@diersicnarf wrote:

The Grace Machine Quilter frame arrived Thursday. Unfortunately, the brown
truck man left the frame with the neighbor (per directions), but kept the
Juki (I picked that up from the UPS depot today in a blinding thunderstorm).
My job, should I choose to accept it (yeh, like I had a choice) was to clean
out an area in the basement to put up a 12' wide sewing center. Piece of
cake. Put in some new shelves last week Finished up the job. Lets get the
frame together.
Heck, I was unemployed this weekend anyway. First time since I was 19 that
I've not had a job. I'm changing companies. Left the last on Thursday,
started the new one today. Ooops. No insurance. Wiff says she's locking
me in the basement till I start the new job. Not gonna let me out without
full coverage (I'm the Tim The Toolman Taylor of fly fishing) Hmm. If I
get the frame together, I can probably sneak out and fish whilst she ogles,
carresses and generally does all that stuff that she does with a new and
exciting piece of hardware.
I dump the two boxes out and lay out the pieces. My Heavens. My 351
Cleveland engine in my old Mach One Mustang had less parts (and all those I
could identify). I start putting this together. Hmm. Socket wrench ain't
gonna fit. Gotta buy a new 7/16ths wrench. Man, 2,736 bolts and screws.
Need a new electric screw stick (hey, she got her third sewing machine, I
can get a new ten-dollar electric screwdriver).
Holes don't line up, get out the rubber mallet. Thing doesn't go together.
Last time I had a Grace in my life, she left me a widower with a five-day
old daughter. I cried for months. Now I know it wasn't her. It was the
name Grace. Makes you cry.
Instructions are a bit weak in one area. Unfortunately its in step two.
When you get to step 13 and things don't go together, you tear the thing
apart and start all over. Do yo really need the Rear Lower Speed Control
Lever, a Front Speed Control Lever AND a Rear Upper Speed Control Lever
connected via the Lever Linkage? I don't even want to talk about the
Four-Inch Principle (page 32)(Tom Thumb go into education?).
Wiff has set up bleachers and is selling hot dogs and beer to the neighbor
guys. They can smell a tool in use from 1000 yards and zero in. They are
there giving advice. Helping? No, just giving advice. And laughing.
Laughing hysterically. Pointing out that a rubber mallet isn't one of the
recommended tools. And praying that their wives enjoy the simplicity and
beauty of hand-stitched quilts.
Thing gets together. I go fishing. Wiff gets a bad cold. Doesn't even
want to take her new Juki out of the box tonight. Next time, I'm just gonna
hire 6 Amish ladies named Gr... Grendal!!!