OT (although quilt mentioned once) : Bible Lesson

Love the one mentioning a quilt

Debbi in SO CA

BIBLE INFORMATION
STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah
the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built
the altar, put wood upon it, cut a steer in pieces, and laid it upon the
altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of
water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times "Now, asked
the teacher, "Can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah
pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I
know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"


LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back
and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy
looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and
she turned into a telephone pole!"


GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She
described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the
drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little
girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."


DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied David. "How could he, with
just two worms?"


HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have been learning
how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher
power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"


MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in
Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out! of Egypt! When
he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the
people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for
reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the
Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught
you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the
teacher did, you'd never believe it!"


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one
of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters
a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about! the task -- but,
he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely
get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of
the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up
to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all
I need to know."


Church Smiles
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to
her brother in another part of the country "Is there anything breakable in
here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the
lady.


While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because
attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign ... "Energy
efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.”


Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the
lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your
quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the
pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday
school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."


Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
The grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

Thanks.....I'll be passing this onto our pastor.... =)

Tricia

Debbi in SO CA wrote:
Love the one mentioning a quilt

Debbi in SO CA

BIBLE INFORMATION
STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah
the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built
the altar, put wood upon it, cut a steer in pieces, and laid it upon the
altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of
water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times "Now, asked
the teacher, "Can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah
pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I
know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"


LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back
and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy
looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and
she turned into a telephone pole!"


GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She
described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the
drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little
girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."


DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied David. "How could he, with
just two worms?"


HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have been learning
how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher
power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"


MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in
Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out! of Egypt! When
he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the
people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for
reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the
Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught
you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the
teacher did, you'd never believe it!"


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one
of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters
a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about! the task -- but,
he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely
get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of
the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up
to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all
I need to know."


Church Smiles
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to
her brother in another part of the country "Is there anything breakable in
here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the
lady.


While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because
attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign ... "Energy
efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."


Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the
lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your
quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the
pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday
school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."


Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
The grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.