UK Hallmarking Gripe!

your hands.

6 live babies
1 lb. smoked sausage
4 lemons
whole garlic
2 lb. new potatoes
4 ears corn
1 box salt
crab boil

Bring 3 gallons of water to a boil.
Add sausage, salt, crab boil, lemons and garlic.
Drop potatoes in, boil for 4 minutes.
Corn is added next, boil an additional 11 minutes.
Put the live babies into the boiling water and cover.
Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.



Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs

Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe,
and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume!
An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood
yet succulent source of protein.

2 human baby rib racks
3 cups barbecue sauce or honey glaze (see index)
Salt
black pepper
white pepper
paprika

Remove the silverskin by loosening from the edges,
then stripping off.
Season generously, rubbing the mixture into the baby?s flesh.
Place 1 quart water in a baking pan, the meat on a wire rack.
Bake uncovered in 250° oven for 1½ hours.
When browned, remove and glaze,
return to oven and bake 20 minutes more to form a glaze.
Cut ribs into individual pieces and serve with extra sauce.



Fresh Sausage

If it becomes necessary to hide the fact that you are eating
human babies, this is the pe

8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
celery
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)

Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften.
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil,
then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely)
and season well.
Place in a large bowl and cool.
Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy,
enough to make the mixture pliable.
Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll.
Place seam down in a baking pan.
Ladle tomato gravy on top,
and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.



Umbilical Cordon Bleu

Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
so why not consume it?
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.

4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil

Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical
cords so they won?t be tough).
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion
then fold in half, trimming neatly.
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs;
allow to sit for a few minutes.
Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown,
about 6 minutes on each side.



Shish Kababes

As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb,
poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans
are no exception!

High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery
Onions
bell peppers
Wooden or metal skewers

Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewe

Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats.
Grill to medium rare,
serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus.
Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port.
Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!



Crock-Pot Crack Baby

When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death,
get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any
remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long,
because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium between the poisonous
and the stimulating. Though it may not have the same effect on your
guests, a whole chicken cooked in this fashion is also mighty tasty.

1 newborn - cocaine addicted, freshly expired, cleaned and butchered
Carrots
onions
leeks
celery
bell pepper
potatoes
Salt
pepper
garlic, etc
4 cups water

Cut the meat into natural pieces and brown very well in olive oil,
remove, then brown half of the onions, th

into the baby?s flesh.
Place 1 quart water in a baking pan, the meat on a wire rack.
Bake uncovered in 250° oven for 1½ hours.
When browned, remove and glaze,
return to oven and bake 20 minutes more to form a glaze.
Cut ribs into individual pieces and serve with extra sauce.



Fresh Sausage

If it becomes necessary to hide the fact that you are eating
human babies, this is the perfect solution.
But if you are still paranoid, you can substitute pork butt.

5 lb. lean chuck roast
3 lb. prime baby butt
2 tablespoons each:
salt
black, white and cayenne peppers
celery salt
garlic powder
parsley flakes
brown sugar
1 teaspoon sage
2 onions
6 cloves garlic
bunch green onions, chopped

Cut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces
that will fit in the grinder.
Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate.
Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well.
Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again.
Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.



Stillborn Stew

By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh,
but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery,
or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to
cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).

1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed
¼ cup vege

On Thu, 23 Dec 2004 11:11:37 GMT, Wooding
wrote:

Unfortunately, this is not strictly legal. I have seen reports of
jewellers being prosecuted because they have _repaired_ jewellery by
adding parts and not having the piece re-assayed afterwards.

There is a general consent to add metal 'of the appropriate fineness'
to an article so long as the addition does not exceed 1 gtram of gold,
5 grams of silver, 0.5 grams of plat and fifty percent of the weight
of the article before the addition.

That can be a squeeze sometimes but it can help.

Without that any size up or even re-tipping would need re-assay and
that would be plain daft (wait for it to be suggested by the EU!).
Andy Parker, Agate House Lapidary
Ulverston, Cumbria, England

www.agatehouse.co.uk
Tel: 01229 584023

On Fri, 24 Dec 2004 01:46:41 GMT, "Chicmac"
wrote:

The hallmarked 'shanks'? Is that like little bar hallmarked that can be
inset into a larger item? If so doesn't that defeat the whole purpose?

No, a hallmarked shank is a complete ring minus the setting - or even
a plain wedding band which can have stones flush set in it.

What about things like bracelet ornaments?, I guess they would be
allowed to be stamped 925 by the maker(if they are 7.8) even though the
final item weighs a lot more.
Also does this apply to pendants and chains, i.e the chain is a separate
item from the chain?

Charms are considered indivisual items I think - not my sort of work,
I think pendants and chains are separate items and marked as such.

How are trade fairs regarded?. Someone mentioned that they might be the
solution.
Is it because they are regarded as private transactions?

I can't see how a trade fair changes anything - even more obviously a
business I would have thought.
a few in a year then it will be deemed to be a business.

What is a 'few'?

That's a question a lawyer will charge you thousands to argue - try
arguing with the tax man! (a frew was my wording - not quoted from
anywhere).

Can a purchaser of unhallmarked silver themselves submit it to the assay
office?
It would make more logical sense if the seller issued something like an
assay token which could then be used by the customer to have it assessed
by them. That way he would know it wasn't a forgery. Present system
seems to be like buying a house based on the sellers survey only.

Any member of the public can submit an article for a 'private assay' -
4 quid a shot I think but I really don't fancy saying to my customers
'Here is the lovely 18ct gold engagement ring I made for you to your
own design, that will be 750 pounds please but if you want to prove it
is really gold and I'm not a crook just send it off to these people
and they will scratch it, test it and knock it out of shape when they
ark it with a quality stamp. Can't see that being much of a sales
ploy.


Well being a total newbie, I don't have any of the 'traditions' baggage,
so I guess I'm only looking at it in terms of:
Is it necessary?
Does it do what it claims?
Is it efficient?

I've only been making my living at this for 6 years - late starter.

Must confess I'm still struggling to see what it brings to the party
that the Trades Description Act doesn't. Also since it is up to the
seller to arrange, it can be forged.

It's a gaurantee of quality, widely respected by the customer.

As for efficiency, it would appear to be yet another rapidly increasing,
self perpetuating, bureacratic money mill.

Yep.
The stamping of an article by the maker without an independant test
leaves the customer to decide how much they trust the maker, if they
have any idea who that is.

Yes, but exactly the same applies to everything else.

So our precious metal system is better than everything else - why
lower the standard?

But fraudsters and cheats would just forge it anyway wouldn't they?

They might, I don't know what the penalties are - (I'd suggest
something painful personally but I'm a miserable ******** where
dishonesty is concerned).

I vividly remember getting my punches and stamping my first piece -
still have it and am proud to be part of a system that is several
hundred years old.


I can understand that the tradition is respected and even that it can
add aesthetic value to the object, but won't the new EU system where you
only stamp it 925 etc, remove a lot of that anyway?

The suggested EU system was rejected we get to keep our system for
the time being at least

I've just re-read that and it might sound as if I am arguing with you
Chic, I am not, just trying to help.


Andy Parker, Agate House Lapidary
Ulverston, Cumbria, England

www.agatehouse.co.uk
Tel: 01229 584023

vj found this in rec.crafts.jewelry, from William Black
:

]I don't think that The Assay Office isn't part of the government Civil
]Service set-up, it's part of the Crown and its employees are 'Crown
]Servants'.

okay.
it does seem like there should be some added regulation, then.
or something.


--
@vicki [SnuggleWench]
(Books) http://www.booksnbytes.com
(Jewelry) http://www.vickijean.com/new.html
(Metalsmithing) http://www.vickijean.com/metalsmithing/index.html
yahooID: vjean95967
-----------
The measure of the menace of a man is not what hardware he carries,
but what ideas he believes. -- Jeff Jordan

"Chicmac" wrote in message
...

"William Black" wrote in message
...

The metal's weight. It is marked sterling.

Right so you cant get away with 8.4 gms for Sterling then.

Nope.


Everything sold as 'silver' must be stamped. However you're allowed
to
stamp small items yourself, usually with a small stamp marked '.925'

Must it be 'stamped' or can it be incorporated into the master at sculpt
time?

You can have it cut by laser but that costs even more money.

The hallmark hall demands that items be sent 'in a finished state but prior
to setting of gems' They'll also accept parts of a large item before final
assembly.

There used to be a Cookson's in Glasgow but they shut down, so I'd still
have postage. What is the hallmarking service? Is that where they
collect many items from various cllients to submit to the assay office
in one parcel, thereby sharing the minimum cost overhead?

Yes.


If you send enough stuff you should get the price down to about 60p an
item.

Now are we still talking about Cookson's or the Assay office here?
Bit academic for me at the moment though since it is definitely toe in
the water stuff just now.

The hallmark people.

If you make thirty or forty things then it's a cheap service, if you don't
then you either pay or end up with someone else's mark.

Your choice.

--
William Black

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe
Barbeques on fire by chalets past the headland
I've watched the gift shops glitter in the darkness off Newborough
All this will pass like ice-cream on the beach
Time for tea



regards
chic

----- Original Message -----
From: "Andy Parker"
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.jewelry
Sent: Sunday, December 26, 2004 9:38 PM
Subject: UK Hallmarking Gripe!


On Fri, 24 Dec 2004 01:46:41 GMT, "Chicmac"
wrote:

The hallmarked 'shanks'? Is that like little bar hallmarked that can
be
inset into a larger item? If so doesn't that defeat the whole
purpose?

No, a hallmarked shank is a complete ring minus the setting - or even
a plain wedding band which can have stones flush set in it.


Makes more sense.

snip


Can a purchaser of unhallmarked silver themselves submit it to the
assay
office?
It would make more logical sense if the seller issued something like
an
assay token which could then be used by the customer to have it
assessed
by them. That way he would know it wasn't a forgery. Present system
seems to be like buying a house based on the sellers survey only.

Any member of the public can submit an article for a 'private assay' -
4 quid a shot I think but I really don't fancy saying to my customers
'Here is the lovely 18ct gold engagement ring I made for you to your
own design, that will be 750 pounds please but if you want to prove it
is really gold and I'm not a crook just send it off to these people
and they will scratch it, test it and knock it out of shape when they
ark it with a quality stamp. Can't see that being much of a sales
ploy.


Well of course the pricier items are not an issue, it's the high
potential 'assay percentage' in lower priced one-off items that is
problematic.(Like at toe in the water time).

snip

I've just re-read that and it might sound as if I am arguing with you
Chic, I am not, just trying to help.

Not at all you were to the point and informative.
It was me who was slightly provacative, a ruse to illicit answers to my
questions since earlier posts went unanswered.

Thanks.

chic