ping - off kilter quilter

I have been wondering how your meeting at the school administration building
a couple of Friday's ago went. Did you and DH get any satisfactory answers?

--
Di Maloney
Vic. Australia

On Mar 23, 10:56*pm, "Di Maloney" wrote:
I have been wondering how your meeting at the school administration building
a couple of Friday's ago went. Did you and DH get any satisfactory answers?

--
Di Maloney
Vic. Australia

Sorry....meeting with assistant superintendent went VERY
well...complete opposite of the meeting with the principal of the
school. The gentleman was open and listened to DH (I was note taker
again) and shared ideas and whatnot. He said he was going to forward
the 3 points that DH made (same ones he tried to make with school
principal) with the supervisor of curriculum/guidance and that
gentleman would be getting in touch with DH. He also said he would be
having a meeting with the school principal. Well.....

assistant superintendent, supervisor of curriculum, and principal
met....principal said DH was rude and obnoxious toward
him.....uh,,,nope, DH didn't raise his voice, cut him off, talk to him
as if he were a child.....DH *did* say that since it didn't seem like
anyone was willing to listen, perhaps we needed to bring in a
mediator, to which the principal responded with, "there will be no
meeting between us with a mediator".....well....after the meeting
between those 3 men, they tried to set up a meeting with: me, DH,
principal, curriculum supervisor....wait....principal said NO meeting
with a mediator, and here they go trying to set one up....ALL DH asked
for was an apology from the principal for the rude, unprofessional,
inconsiderate way that he had treated DH....every time DH tried to
speak, the principal cut him off or talked over him....wth is wrong
with this person??

Turns out this is the way the principal treats the teachers within the
school as well....SEVERAL of them have asked if I've gotten anywhere
with this and when I've given bare information, have said they aren't
surprised because this is how he runs every meeting...he doesn't want
to hear ANYTHING different from what he specifically wants....he won't
let them share ideas or anything....oh, and found out about another
bullying incident....started with texting, continued onto school
grounds during the school day....teacher went to ask him to join the
family in the counselor's office and his response was that it wasn't
his problem because it happened outside of school and when it was
pointed out that it had continued on school property, he responded by
saying he didn't have time to deal with it.....lovely, huh??

SO....the decision has been made that, once this school year is
finished, DS will NOT be returning to that school. We have found an
online private school that we will be enrolling him in for no less
than 2 years, more likely 3 or 4 years....he will complete what he
needs and then we will re-visit him going back to public school at the
high school level....but, will anticipate him not liking it and coming
back to private school....all depends on how he matures and grows and
how much he misses that daily interaction

and that's where we are. Because the principal won't apologize, Ken
won't sit in on a meeting where he is present, and so no meeting will
be happening, apparently. I can totally understand Ken's view, and
the principal does NOT present himself the same.....one way when we
all went to the same church and he was in our Sunday school, and a
totally opposite way when he's sitting behind the desk at the middle
school

"off kilter


So sorry all these problems keep rolling along and getting bigger! Sure
hope the private schooling will work out.
Barbara in FL

I am glad to hear the meeting with the assistant superintendent went well.
But, that principal needs to be made to attend a course on "How to treat
parents and teachers with respect".

I hope your DS settles in his new school does well.

Thank you for letting us know.

Good luck,
Di

"off kilter " wrote in
message
...
On Mar 23, 10:56 pm, "Di Maloney" wrote:
I have been wondering how your meeting at the school administration
building
a couple of Friday's ago went. Did you and DH get any satisfactory
answers?

--
Di Maloney
Vic. Australia

Sorry....meeting with assistant superintendent went VERY
well...complete opposite of the meeting with the principal of the
school. The gentleman was open and listened to DH (I was note taker
again) and shared ideas and whatnot. He said he was going to forward
the 3 points that DH made (same ones he tried to make with school
principal) with the supervisor of curriculum/guidance and that
gentleman would be getting in touch with DH. He also said he would be
having a meeting with the school principal. Well.....

assistant superintendent, supervisor of curriculum, and principal
met....principal said DH was rude and obnoxious toward
him.....uh,,,nope, DH didn't raise his voice, cut him off, talk to him
as if he were a child.....DH *did* say that since it didn't seem like
anyone was willing to listen, perhaps we needed to bring in a
mediator, to which the principal responded with, "there will be no
meeting between us with a mediator".....well....after the meeting
between those 3 men, they tried to set up a meeting with: me, DH,
principal, curriculum supervisor....wait....principal said NO meeting
with a mediator, and here they go trying to set one up....ALL DH asked
for was an apology from the principal for the rude, unprofessional,
inconsiderate way that he had treated DH....every time DH tried to
speak, the principal cut him off or talked over him....wth is wrong
with this person??

Turns out this is the way the principal treats the teachers within the
school as well....SEVERAL of them have asked if I've gotten anywhere
with this and when I've given bare information, have said they aren't
surprised because this is how he runs every meeting...he doesn't want
to hear ANYTHING different from what he specifically wants....he won't
let them share ideas or anything....oh, and found out about another
bullying incident....started with texting, continued onto school
grounds during the school day....teacher went to ask him to join the
family in the counselor's office and his response was that it wasn't
his problem because it happened outside of school and when it was
pointed out that it had continued on school property, he responded by
saying he didn't have time to deal with it.....lovely, huh??

SO....the decision has been made that, once this school year is
finished, DS will NOT be returning to that school. We have found an
online private school that we will be enrolling him in for no less
than 2 years, more likely 3 or 4 years....he will complete what he
needs and then we will re-visit him going back to public school at the
high school level....but, will anticipate him not liking it and coming
back to private school....all depends on how he matures and grows and
how much he misses that daily interaction

and that's where we are. Because the principal won't apologize, Ken
won't sit in on a meeting where he is present, and so no meeting will
be happening, apparently. I can totally understand Ken's view, and
the principal does NOT present himself the same.....one way when we
all went to the same church and he was in our Sunday school, and a
totally opposite way when he's sitting behind the desk at the middle
school

When my oldest son was in middle school and having horrible problems, I finally figured out the problem. I turned to the (nasty, snarky, patronizing and generally rude)principal and asked him 'Did you like Middle School?' His face lit up and he began to go on and on about how wonderful his middle school years had been, how he blossomed and grew and just was happy as a clam. It suddenly hit me, the people who loved middle school -- most likely the bullies and top dogs and the ones giving the other kids a hard time -- grew up to become middle school teachers and administrators.

The only help we got the whole way through middle and high school for my older son, who ... doesn't really fit ... was that he needed to learn to conform to the expectations of the other kids. Yeah, right ...

Glad you're taking him out of school for a while. Wish I'd been brave enough and strong enough and smart enough to do that for my son.

Sunny

ouch!

I loved school - middle and high school. I was not in the popular
crowd. I was pretty well scared of my own shadow, so I certainly didn't
even come close to being a bully, a top dog, nor did I give other kids a
hard time.

What I had was a few close friends and we had fun together. We liked
each other, supported each other and even though it was 6 girls, we got
along well together.

I am not a middle school teacher nor an administrator.

I'm sorry your son had such a hard time. I'm sorry you as a parent had
to go through that and see your son struggle like that.

However, we don't all fit your generalization of people who liked
school. Not all of us who enjoyed school were (or continue to be) mean.

marcella


In article
29787248.49.1332781377566.JavaMail.geo-discussion-forums@pbjk8,
Sunny wrote:

When my oldest son was in middle school and having horrible problems, I
finally figured out the problem. I turned to the (nasty, snarky, patronizing
and generally rude)principal and asked him 'Did you like Middle School?' His
face lit up and he began to go on and on about how wonderful his middle
school years had been, how he blossomed and grew and just was happy as a
clam. It suddenly hit me, the people who loved middle school -- most likely
the bullies and top dogs and the ones giving the other kids a hard time --
grew up to become middle school teachers and administrators.

The only help we got the whole way through middle and high school for my
older son, who ... doesn't really fit ... was that he needed to learn to
conform to the expectations of the other kids. Yeah, right ...

Glad you're taking him out of school for a while. Wish I'd been brave enough
and strong enough and smart enough to do that for my son.

Sunny

this is interesting. middle school here is actually jr.hi 7-8 grade. My
sister who
wouldn't fit in or find school work worth the bother got ME into catholic
school in
7th grade because mom didn't want to go through jr. hi hell again. Then we
moved,
then we moved again. I went through 6th grade with kids I knew all my life
then ended
up in 6 schools in 5 years (6th -10th grade) By the time I landed in the
high school I
graduated from I was over trying to fit in. I never got in trouble but
really checked out
socially and pretty much academically. My mom let me skip a lot of days and
that was
awful in the long run. I needed to be there learning to make it work better
than I did,
not checking out.
I made a huge effort for my kids to stay planted where they were for
school years.
Those middle years are really tough for a lot of kids. I have to say the
teachers and
staff at our kids jr.high were a mostly great bunch of teachers. I helped
out in the library
and got to see a lot of good work they did first hand. I don't remember
mean, some
rotten apples but not any more mean than any cross section of society,
probably less.
DD says getting through public high school is a good way to learn how to
survive adulthood.
Taria






"Marcella Peek" wrote in message
...

ouch!

I loved school - middle and high school. I was not in the popular
crowd. I was pretty well scared of my own shadow, so I certainly didn't
even come close to being a bully, a top dog, nor did I give other kids a
hard time.

What I had was a few close friends and we had fun together. We liked
each other, supported each other and even though it was 6 girls, we got
along well together.

I am not a middle school teacher nor an administrator.

I'm sorry your son had such a hard time. I'm sorry you as a parent had
to go through that and see your son struggle like that.

However, we don't all fit your generalization of people who liked
school. Not all of us who enjoyed school were (or continue to be) mean.

marcella


In article
29787248.49.1332781377566.JavaMail.geo-discussion-forums@pbjk8,
Sunny wrote:

When my oldest son was in middle school and having horrible problems, I
finally figured out the problem. I turned to the (nasty, snarky,
patronizing
and generally rude)principal and asked him 'Did you like Middle School?'
His
face lit up and he began to go on and on about how wonderful his middle
school years had been, how he blossomed and grew and just was happy as a
clam. It suddenly hit me, the people who loved middle school -- most
likely
the bullies and top dogs and the ones giving the other kids a hard time --
grew up to become middle school teachers and administrators.

The only help we got the whole way through middle and high school for my
older son, who ... doesn't really fit ... was that he needed to learn to
conform to the expectations of the other kids. Yeah, right ...

Glad you're taking him out of school for a while. Wish I'd been brave
enough
and strong enough and smart enough to do that for my son.

Sunny

Your DD is right - but that doesn't mean you have to carry the group with
you for life. Mr Esther and I are planning to attend his ... my golly! His
60th class reunion. A wonderful, caring, hilarious gang. I wouldn't attend
my own class get-togethers at gun point. They'll just have to "one-up" and
backstab without me. Moving on - I saw on the news today that more than 100
teachers in Atlanta had been caught encouraging cheating on tests. Methinks
our public schools (which are actually government schools) are in big
trouble. Polly




"Taria" wrote in part: DD says getting through public high school is a good
way to learn how to survive adulthood.
Taria

Oh, Polly - you make me laugh. We go to DH's class reunions every five
years and have a great time. We're living in our home town (we've been
other places since graduation, but returned here because of family), and
he sees his classmates about once a month for coffee, too. Their class
is very close!

I graduated 10 years later, and our class hasn't had a reunion since the
16th (yes, the 16th)! We didn't have any major problems (no
snobbishness, no bullying, etc.) during high school, so I'm not sure why
no one has taken on the job of organizing reunions. I know why I
haven't, but usually there's someone in the class who is wanting to do
it. If we had one now, I'd probably go, but I doubt that's gonna' happen!

Louise in Iowa
nieland1390@mchsidotcom

On 3/26/2012 10:58 PM, Polly Esther wrote:
Your DD is right - but that doesn't mean you have to carry the group
with you for life. Mr Esther and I are planning to attend his ... my
golly! His 60th class reunion. A wonderful, caring, hilarious gang. I
wouldn't attend my own class get-togethers at gun point. They'll just
have to "one-up" and backstab without me. Moving on - I saw on the news
today that more than 100 teachers in Atlanta had been caught encouraging
cheating on tests. Methinks our public schools (which are actually
government schools) are in big trouble. Polly




"Taria" wrote in part: DD says getting through public high school is a
good way to learn how to survive adulthood.
Taria

I guess every group of grads has a different dynamic. After 60 years of
reunions with a fun group you are one of them at this point.

What a shame to think of teachers cheating. I guess if they get fired for
cheating they can run for a government office since they are already
practiced in
doing what politicians do best. : (

I'm headed to quilt with friends today. Dad refers to them/us as the
'blanket ladies'.

Taria


"Polly Esther" wrote in message ...

Your DD is right - but that doesn't mean you have to carry the group with
you for life. Mr Esther and I are planning to attend his ... my golly! His
60th class reunion. A wonderful, caring, hilarious gang. I wouldn't attend
my own class get-togethers at gun point. They'll just have to "one-up" and
backstab without me. Moving on - I saw on the news today that more than 100
teachers in Atlanta had been caught encouraging cheating on tests. Methinks
our public schools (which are actually government schools) are in big
trouble. Polly




"Taria" wrote in part: DD says getting through public high school is a good
way to learn how to survive adulthood.
Taria