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OT - More about Engineers



 
 
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  #1  
Old August 2nd 03, 12:29 AM
Bonnie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default OT - More about Engineers

Engineers

People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like
other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people
who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with
technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This
chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their
customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall
learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The
word engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who
you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to
discern the truth.

ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic
things from social interaction:

* Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation

* Important social contacts

* A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for
social interactions:

* Get it over with as soon as possible.

* Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.

* Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASCINATION WITH GADGETS

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of
two categories:
1) things that need to be fixed, and
2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to
play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix
it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what
it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower
without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering
unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of
sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic
thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no
appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no unmentionable
body parts are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of
clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various
indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of
attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above
function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely
recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable,
employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many
normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people
harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like
children who will have high-paying jobs long before moving out on their
own.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than
normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties
to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible
men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.

* MacGyver.

* Et Cetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain
that way until forever.

HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human
relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from
customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the
truth.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that
sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected
to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

"I won't change anything without asking you first."

"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."

"I have to have new equipment to do my job."

"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

FRUGALITY

Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or
mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a
problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while
retaining the greatest amount of cash?"

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability
to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything
else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be
pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have
started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a
degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming
is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she
snaps out of it.

RISK

Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This
is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake,
the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS

* Hindenberg.

* Space Shuttle Challenger.

* SPANet(tm)

* Hubble space telescope.

* Tacoma Narrows Bridge.

* Apollo 13.

* Titanic.

* Ford Pinto.

* Corvair.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and
rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid
risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for
reasons that are far too complicated to explain.

If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer
will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible
but it will cost too much."

EGO

Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are.

* How many cool devices they own.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare
that the problem is un-solvable. No engineer can walk away from an
un-solvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is
sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges
quickly become personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of
nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem.
(Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving
the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex --
and I'm including the kind of sex where other people are involved.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that
somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that
knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an
engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means
it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at
the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along
these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve
difficult technical problems."

At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand
between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the
problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.


Ads
  #2  
Old August 2nd 03, 01:29 AM
Lucille
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Where did you meet my late husband? You must have known him, you described
him perfectly.
Lucille


"Bonnie" wrote in message
. ..
Engineers

People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like
other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people
who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with
technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This
chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their
customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall
learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The
word engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who
you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to
discern the truth.

ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic
things from social interaction:

* Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation

* Important social contacts

* A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for
social interactions:

* Get it over with as soon as possible.

* Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.

* Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASCINATION WITH GADGETS

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of
two categories:
1) things that need to be fixed, and
2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to
play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix
it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what
it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower
without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering
unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of
sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic
thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no
appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no unmentionable
body parts are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of
clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various
indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of
attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above
function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely
recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable,
employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many
normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people
harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like
children who will have high-paying jobs long before moving out on their
own.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than
normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties
to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible
men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.

* MacGyver.

* Et Cetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain
that way until forever.

HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human
relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from
customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the
truth.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that
sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected
to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

"I won't change anything without asking you first."

"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."

"I have to have new equipment to do my job."

"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

FRUGALITY

Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or
mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a
problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while
retaining the greatest amount of cash?"

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability
to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything
else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be
pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have
started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a
degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming
is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she
snaps out of it.

RISK

Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This
is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake,
the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS

* Hindenberg.

* Space Shuttle Challenger.

* SPANet(tm)

* Hubble space telescope.

* Tacoma Narrows Bridge.

* Apollo 13.

* Titanic.

* Ford Pinto.

* Corvair.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and
rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid
risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for
reasons that are far too complicated to explain.

If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer
will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible
but it will cost too much."

EGO

Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are.

* How many cool devices they own.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare
that the problem is un-solvable. No engineer can walk away from an
un-solvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is
sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges
quickly become personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of
nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem.
(Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving
the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex --
and I'm including the kind of sex where other people are involved.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that
somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that
knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an
engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means
it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at
the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along
these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve
difficult technical problems."

At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand
between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the
problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.




  #3  
Old August 2nd 03, 01:34 AM
fran
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh, how true, how very true.



On Fri, 01 Aug 2003 23:29:18 GMT, "Bonnie" wrote:

Engineers

People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like
other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people
who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with
technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This
chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their
customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall
learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The
word engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who
you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to
discern the truth.

ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic
things from social interaction:

* Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation

* Important social contacts

* A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for
social interactions:

* Get it over with as soon as possible.

* Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.

* Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASCINATION WITH GADGETS

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of
two categories:
1) things that need to be fixed, and
2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to
play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix
it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what
it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower
without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering
unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of
sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic
thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no
appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no unmentionable
body parts are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of
clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various
indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of
attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above
function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely
recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable,
employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many
normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people
harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like
children who will have high-paying jobs long before moving out on their
own.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than
normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties
to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible
men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.

* MacGyver.

* Et Cetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain
that way until forever.

HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human
relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from
customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the
truth.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that
sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected
to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

"I won't change anything without asking you first."

"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."

"I have to have new equipment to do my job."

"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

FRUGALITY

Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or
mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a
problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while
retaining the greatest amount of cash?"

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability
to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything
else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be
pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have
started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a
degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming
is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she
snaps out of it.

RISK

Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This
is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake,
the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS

* Hindenberg.

* Space Shuttle Challenger.

* SPANet(tm)

* Hubble space telescope.

* Tacoma Narrows Bridge.

* Apollo 13.

* Titanic.

* Ford Pinto.

* Corvair.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and
rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid
risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for
reasons that are far too complicated to explain.

If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer
will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible
but it will cost too much."

EGO

Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are.

* How many cool devices they own.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare
that the problem is un-solvable. No engineer can walk away from an
un-solvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is
sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges
quickly become personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of
nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem.
(Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving
the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex --
and I'm including the kind of sex where other people are involved.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that
somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that
knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an
engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means
it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at
the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along
these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve
difficult technical problems."

At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand
between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the
problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.


  #4  
Old August 2nd 03, 02:30 AM
Addie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

DH just read it with me and agrees with it all!! Excellent.

Addie


"Bonnie" wrote in message
. ..
Engineers

People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like
other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people
who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with
technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This
chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their
customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall
learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The
word engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who
you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to
discern the truth.

ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic
things from social interaction:

* Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation

* Important social contacts

* A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for
social interactions:

* Get it over with as soon as possible.

* Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.

* Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASCINATION WITH GADGETS

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of
two categories:
1) things that need to be fixed, and
2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to
play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix
it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what
it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower
without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering
unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of
sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic
thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no
appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no unmentionable
body parts are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of
clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various
indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of
attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above
function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely
recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable,
employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many
normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people
harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like
children who will have high-paying jobs long before moving out on their
own.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than
normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties
to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible
men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.

* MacGyver.

* Et Cetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain
that way until forever.

HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human
relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from
customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the
truth.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that
sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected
to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

"I won't change anything without asking you first."

"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."

"I have to have new equipment to do my job."

"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

FRUGALITY

Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or
mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a
problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while
retaining the greatest amount of cash?"

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability
to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything
else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be
pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have
started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a
degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming
is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she
snaps out of it.

RISK

Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This
is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake,
the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS

* Hindenberg.

* Space Shuttle Challenger.

* SPANet(tm)

* Hubble space telescope.

* Tacoma Narrows Bridge.

* Apollo 13.

* Titanic.

* Ford Pinto.

* Corvair.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and
rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid
risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for
reasons that are far too complicated to explain.

If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer
will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible
but it will cost too much."

EGO

Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are.

* How many cool devices they own.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare
that the problem is un-solvable. No engineer can walk away from an
un-solvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is
sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges
quickly become personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of
nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem.
(Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving
the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex --
and I'm including the kind of sex where other people are involved.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that
somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that
knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an
engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means
it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at
the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along
these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve
difficult technical problems."

At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand
between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the
problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.




  #5  
Old August 2nd 03, 03:17 AM
KDLark
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

My mother married an engineer the second time around, and she told me that
engineers make excellent husbands, because "they always want to know how things
work...if you know what I mean." She can be naughty when it's least expected!

Katrina L.
  #6  
Old August 2nd 03, 04:58 AM
Ellice
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On 8/1/03 7:29 PM,"Bonnie" posted:

Engineers

People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like
other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people
who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with
technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This
chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their
customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall
learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The
word engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who
you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to
discern the truth.


I can't decide how to respond to this. Thing is, as an engineer, I kind of
resent other people making fun of us. So, while some of this is close, with
the expected use of hyperbole, some of it is kind of mean - like the
disaster stuff.

FWIW - "real" engineers make fun of people who have kind of psuedo-engineer
degrees - like management engineering, or sometimes systems engineering. The
trend the last 10 years for "system engineers" now to be folks who know how
to run a computer network - but don't have in general the baseline education
that is required for traditional, hard-core engineering degrees. What used
to be considered a "systems engineer" was someone with technical skills and
expertize in a variety of disciplines, and thus could actually oversee an
entire multidisciplinary system.

Engineering is hardly trendy - but getting a tag without the education is. I
remember at undergrad graduation the business majors were seated across the
aisle from the engineering college grads. And they were being rude, making
some kind of cracks. Eventually, the engineering grads all started chanting
"get a real job" . It made the point, and was pretty funny.


ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic
things from social interaction:

* Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation

* Important social contacts

* A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for
social interactions:

* Get it over with as soon as possible.

* Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.

* Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.


This may be the true thing - working at a lab full of research engineers,
who are well socialized in comparison with the research physicists - at
least the engineers could actually make something work - or fix it when it
broke - I really saw this. My female friend who is a EE & I would call our
workplace "revenge of the Kingdom of the Nerds" . So we got to go to lots of
conferences, give briefings all over the place because we had social skills.
That said, we also knew and made friends with a lot of guys who were just
fine - they just happened to be science smart - like us - and had fun social
skills
FASCINATION WITH GADGETS

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of
two categories:
1) things that need to be fixed, and
2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to
play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix
it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.


HAH - non-engineers buy cars with lots of creature features - like air vents
that move back and forth automatically. Engineers look at things like that
and say "too many moving parts" - it'll break.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what
it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower
without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering
unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of
sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.


I don't know a lot of smelly engineers. But I do know a lot of poorly
dressed ones.
FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic
thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no
appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no unmentionable
body parts are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of
clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.


Sadly, a truism for some. I remember being urged to go on a mercy date with
a guy in undergrad school. And then I saw him - with collared sweater on
backwards, calculator hanging from belt, and the polyester pants - in the
corridor outside the engineering library. I almost spit, I was trying hard
not to choke, as my pals and I stopped him & told him to turn his sweater
around. After he moved on, I then proceeded to punch the 2 guys that were
with me and tell them no way, no how. But, I did do the one mercy date. It
was mortifying. Polyester houndstooth checked pants, black shoes of some
sort, and one of those shirts worn in South FL, Cuba, Puerto Rico - that
have kind of a design down each side, and are worn out, by old men playing
dice or cards in Little Havana. And I can hardly bear to think about the
hair do- his mom cut it I think - looked like a combover on a guy with all
his hair. Worst part of this - I drove, picked him up - I'm wearing some
normal jeans, nice silk blouse, maybe clogs. We go to a restaurant and run
right into 2 profs from the Ops Research dept. Problem is I'm an undergrad
RA in that dept, and have been dating a grad stud (who was out of town that
weekend). We get seated, I see the profs I know looking at me, and I have to
go over there and say "don't ask, please don't say anything - I'll explain
on Monday". After said date - thank g-d the calculator didn't come out - I
actually told this guy that I hated to be shallow, but if he wanted to hang
out with my friends, and go out in public he really needed to get his image
together. Like get some clothes that college students, not 65 yr old guys
wore, and a real haircut, and so forth.

OTOH, my engineer gang were kind of the rowdies. We bought a boat from the
Oceanographic school - for $500, and made it work. Redid the tranny, fixed
the engine, and notoriously were cutting out of afternoon class to go
diving.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various
indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of
attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above
function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely
recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable,
employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many
normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people
harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like
children who will have high-paying jobs long before moving out on their
own.


This is soooooo true for the men. Some woman will want them, pocket
protector and all, and straighten out their wardrobe, and deal with the lack
of social skills - or teach them some. OTOH, for the women, we had to have
social skills, because the reverse just doesn't hold true - LOL

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than
normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties
to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible
men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.

YUCK. Bill Gates is the evil one.

* MacGyver.

Very good choice.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain
that way until forever.


HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human
relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from
customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the
truth.


This is what makes work sometimes hard - when the political management
doesn't really want to know.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that
sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected
to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

"I won't change anything without asking you first."

"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."

"I have to have new equipment to do my job."

Hey - this is always true.

"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

LOL - computer wars. We used to go shopping in the storerooms at work - what
fun. The secretary only went for boring stuff. We'd get excited, take the
dept account card down and find all kinds of neat paper, and technical
pencils. Nothing like a new set of french curves, or triangles

FRUGALITY

Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or
mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a
problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while
retaining the greatest amount of cash?"


You totally forget that they will spend inordinately large amounts of money
on fine stereo equipment. The engineers always either have no stereo stuff,
or totally amazing stereo gear. Trust me - I know - I have had 3 serious
relationships - with engineers, and some completely awesome stereo stuff. My
X-DH had us going crazy buying the gear. And the stupid in-between marriage
- well, we had to change the layout of the family room to accommodate his
tower speakers. He had crappy furniture - but $1000 each towers. Now, my
sweet, wonderful, DH - we of course have surround sound, with towers, and
lots of extra speakers, and fancy receiver, etc. He had this before he met
me - trend-setting.
But, I do know several who aren't cheap, but you have to convince them of
why the more expensive thing is better than the cheaper thing.

Oh, and real engineers don't skimp on their computers. We're not buying the
little common PCs. No way. 'nuff said.

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability
to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything
else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be
pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have
started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a
degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming
is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she
snaps out of it.


Aha - I knew you were picking on the nerdiest engineers. They're just stuck
in an infinite do loop.

RISK

Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This
is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake,
the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS


And you know, no one is harder on the stupid engineers or the careless ones,
than the rest of us. Personally, I can't even begin to include in a humor
thing tragedies where people lost their lives. So, I'm snipping those.

And in point of fact, some of these tragedies weren't engineer mistakes, but
instead cases where someone in management insisted that "it would be okay"
or would save money, or gain fame. As in the case with the Titanic. And some
of them were truly awful mistakes, or bad combinations of circumstances.

I've had the awful experience of an inexperienced project leader (military
guy) who supposedly had an engineering undergrad degree - from 10 yrs
earlier - letting a good old boy technician say "hey, we can move that with
this piece of equipment. No need to wait for the crane, you're in a hurry"
And the nice young Capt let the smart, want to help old techs do what they
were sure would work. And one of those technicians was crushed to death -
taking hours to die, while his buddy drove the piece of equipment - to move
what they didn't want to wait for. A classic and horrible instance of
someone supposedly an "engineer" who didn't have quite the experience or
knowledge to make an applied decision, calculation in the field - which
would have clearly shown that what the "good ole' boys" wanted to do to be
helpful wouldn't work. All this to save a couple of hours, and a little
money. I cannot possibly tell you how genuinely angry and upset I was. I had
guys from the other HQ division coming to talk to me about it. I was the
tech permanent staff in a group full of guys rotating in and out. The person
who let this happen was from the "theory" group for whom my division
actually performed experimental work. And the weenie from the field agency
that was there wasn't a good enough engineer - and just let the customer and
himself be talked into this by the techs. My director, and the director of
the group whose experiment this was came into my office and said "if you
were there, this wouldn't have happened" . Great. True. But, I'm tough, and
know how to do math and basic physics in my head.

* Tacoma Narrows Bridge.

A lot learned from this. It's a classic example of harmonic resonance
problems - and the most fun thing every undergrad engineering student gets
to see in some survey class.

* Titanic.

Blame this on the money people - wanting fame, and not wanting to listen to
the naval architect.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and
rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid
risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for
reasons that are far too complicated to explain.


Most good engineers like doing things that push the risk envelope. It's fun.
Just you have to recognize the financial reward will go to the PR guy.

If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer
will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible
but it will cost too much."


Actually, the reality is when something suggested by some technically
ignorant management weenie is too risky, won't really work - the only way to
get out of it is by saying it'll cost bajillions.

EGO

Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are.

* How many cool devices they own.

See stereo above.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare
that the problem is un-solvable. No engineer can walk away from an
un-solvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is
sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges
quickly become personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of
nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem.
(Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving
the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex --
and I'm including the kind of sex where other people are involved.


LOL - this is really more about computer geeks than engineers. One of the
reasons I refused to become a code jockey. I had to do a bunch of code
writing in grad school, and periodically would warn my officemates to try
and get me when I'd been zoned out in the VAX room for too long.
Periodically someone would rap on the door, or send in some pizza. Awful. I
try to avoid that syndrome. It's the same thing that keeps computer gamers
hooked for hours, or stitchers just stitchin' away to finish that last
little bit.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that
somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that
knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an
engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means
it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at
the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along
these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve
difficult technical problems."

At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand
between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the
problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.


Well, for the *smart* engineers - we know when we're being manipulated by
the technically challenged. I like to tell people - try reading the
directions. Especially if they're written in geek-speak. LOL.

Ellice - who only resembles part of this

  #7  
Old August 2nd 03, 05:57 AM
Angela livesay
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Oh my. I think I remember this---freshmen year at UTK...ChE..try being the
only female in a room full of guys ( I was feeling a bit like shark bait).
Never wore any of my trendy clothes to class and became a sorority girl with
a French degree....that I don't use. LOL. Dated some engineering majors,
talk about animal house. For someone who couldn't do Statics, I could still
read a schematic.

--
Angel
My family are the golden threads running
through the tapestry of my life.
My friends are the silver threads running
through the tapestry of my life.
The gold and silver in my tapestry show
happiness, love, sadness, togetherness.
And most important of all love.
"Ellice" wrote in message
...
On 8/1/03 7:29 PM,"Bonnie" posted:

Engineers

People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like
other people. This can be frustrating to the non-technical people
who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with
technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This
chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their
customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall
learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The
word engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who
you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to
discern the truth.


I can't decide how to respond to this. Thing is, as an engineer, I kind of
resent other people making fun of us. So, while some of this is close,

with
the expected use of hyperbole, some of it is kind of mean - like the
disaster stuff.

FWIW - "real" engineers make fun of people who have kind of

psuedo-engineer
degrees - like management engineering, or sometimes systems engineering.

The
trend the last 10 years for "system engineers" now to be folks who know

how
to run a computer network - but don't have in general the baseline

education
that is required for traditional, hard-core engineering degrees. What used
to be considered a "systems engineer" was someone with technical skills

and
expertize in a variety of disciplines, and thus could actually oversee an
entire multidisciplinary system.

Engineering is hardly trendy - but getting a tag without the education is.

I
remember at undergrad graduation the business majors were seated across

the
aisle from the engineering college grads. And they were being rude, making
some kind of cracks. Eventually, the engineering grads all started

chanting
"get a real job" . It made the point, and was pretty funny.


ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST

SOCIAL SKILLS

Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic
things from social interaction:

* Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation

* Important social contacts

* A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for
social interactions:

* Get it over with as soon as possible.

* Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.

* Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.


This may be the true thing - working at a lab full of research engineers,
who are well socialized in comparison with the research physicists - at
least the engineers could actually make something work - or fix it when it
broke - I really saw this. My female friend who is a EE & I would call our
workplace "revenge of the Kingdom of the Nerds" . So we got to go to lots

of
conferences, give briefings all over the place because we had social

skills.
That said, we also knew and made friends with a lot of guys who were just
fine - they just happened to be science smart - like us - and had fun

social
skills
FASCINATION WITH GADGETS

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of
two categories:
1) things that need to be fixed, and
2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to
play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix
it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.


HAH - non-engineers buy cars with lots of creature features - like air

vents
that move back and forth automatically. Engineers look at things like that
and say "too many moving parts" - it'll break.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what
it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower
without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering
unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of
sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.


I don't know a lot of smelly engineers. But I do know a lot of poorly
dressed ones.
FASHION AND APPEARANCE

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic
thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no
appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no unmentionable
body parts are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of
clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.


Sadly, a truism for some. I remember being urged to go on a mercy date

with
a guy in undergrad school. And then I saw him - with collared sweater on
backwards, calculator hanging from belt, and the polyester pants - in the
corridor outside the engineering library. I almost spit, I was trying hard
not to choke, as my pals and I stopped him & told him to turn his sweater
around. After he moved on, I then proceeded to punch the 2 guys that were
with me and tell them no way, no how. But, I did do the one mercy date. It
was mortifying. Polyester houndstooth checked pants, black shoes of some
sort, and one of those shirts worn in South FL, Cuba, Puerto Rico - that
have kind of a design down each side, and are worn out, by old men playing
dice or cards in Little Havana. And I can hardly bear to think about the
hair do- his mom cut it I think - looked like a combover on a guy with all
his hair. Worst part of this - I drove, picked him up - I'm wearing some
normal jeans, nice silk blouse, maybe clogs. We go to a restaurant and run
right into 2 profs from the Ops Research dept. Problem is I'm an undergrad
RA in that dept, and have been dating a grad stud (who was out of town

that
weekend). We get seated, I see the profs I know looking at me, and I have

to
go over there and say "don't ask, please don't say anything - I'll explain
on Monday". After said date - thank g-d the calculator didn't come out - I
actually told this guy that I hated to be shallow, but if he wanted to

hang
out with my friends, and go out in public he really needed to get his

image
together. Like get some clothes that college students, not 65 yr old guys
wore, and a real haircut, and so forth.

OTOH, my engineer gang were kind of the rowdies. We bought a boat from the
Oceanographic school - for $500, and made it work. Redid the tranny, fixed
the engine, and notoriously were cutting out of afternoon class to go
diving.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE

Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various
indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of
attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above
function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely
recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable,
employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many
normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people
harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like
children who will have high-paying jobs long before moving out on their
own.


This is soooooo true for the men. Some woman will want them, pocket
protector and all, and straighten out their wardrobe, and deal with the

lack
of social skills - or teach them some. OTOH, for the women, we had to have
social skills, because the reverse just doesn't hold true - LOL

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than
normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties
to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible
men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.

YUCK. Bill Gates is the evil one.

* MacGyver.

Very good choice.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain
that way until forever.


HONESTY

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human
relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from
customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the
truth.


This is what makes work sometimes hard - when the political management
doesn't really want to know.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that
sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected
to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

"I won't change anything without asking you first."

"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."

"I have to have new equipment to do my job."

Hey - this is always true.

"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

LOL - computer wars. We used to go shopping in the storerooms at work -

what
fun. The secretary only went for boring stuff. We'd get excited, take the
dept account card down and find all kinds of neat paper, and technical
pencils. Nothing like a new set of french curves, or triangles

FRUGALITY

Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or
mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a
problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while
retaining the greatest amount of cash?"


You totally forget that they will spend inordinately large amounts of

money
on fine stereo equipment. The engineers always either have no stereo

stuff,
or totally amazing stereo gear. Trust me - I know - I have had 3 serious
relationships - with engineers, and some completely awesome stereo stuff.

My
X-DH had us going crazy buying the gear. And the stupid in-between

marriage
- well, we had to change the layout of the family room to accommodate his
tower speakers. He had crappy furniture - but $1000 each towers. Now, my
sweet, wonderful, DH - we of course have surround sound, with towers, and
lots of extra speakers, and fancy receiver, etc. He had this before he met
me - trend-setting.
But, I do know several who aren't cheap, but you have to convince them of
why the more expensive thing is better than the cheaper thing.

Oh, and real engineers don't skimp on their computers. We're not buying

the
little common PCs. No way. 'nuff said.

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION

If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability
to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything
else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be
pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have
started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a
degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming
is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she
snaps out of it.


Aha - I knew you were picking on the nerdiest engineers. They're just

stuck
in an infinite do loop.

RISK

Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This
is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake,
the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something.

EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS


And you know, no one is harder on the stupid engineers or the careless

ones,
than the rest of us. Personally, I can't even begin to include in a humor
thing tragedies where people lost their lives. So, I'm snipping those.

And in point of fact, some of these tragedies weren't engineer mistakes,

but
instead cases where someone in management insisted that "it would be okay"
or would save money, or gain fame. As in the case with the Titanic. And

some
of them were truly awful mistakes, or bad combinations of circumstances.

I've had the awful experience of an inexperienced project leader (military
guy) who supposedly had an engineering undergrad degree - from 10 yrs
earlier - letting a good old boy technician say "hey, we can move that

with
this piece of equipment. No need to wait for the crane, you're in a hurry"
And the nice young Capt let the smart, want to help old techs do what they
were sure would work. And one of those technicians was crushed to death -
taking hours to die, while his buddy drove the piece of equipment - to

move
what they didn't want to wait for. A classic and horrible instance of
someone supposedly an "engineer" who didn't have quite the experience or
knowledge to make an applied decision, calculation in the field - which
would have clearly shown that what the "good ole' boys" wanted to do to be
helpful wouldn't work. All this to save a couple of hours, and a little
money. I cannot possibly tell you how genuinely angry and upset I was. I

had
guys from the other HQ division coming to talk to me about it. I was the
tech permanent staff in a group full of guys rotating in and out. The

person
who let this happen was from the "theory" group for whom my division
actually performed experimental work. And the weenie from the field agency
that was there wasn't a good enough engineer - and just let the customer

and
himself be talked into this by the techs. My director, and the director of
the group whose experiment this was came into my office and said "if you
were there, this wouldn't have happened" . Great. True. But, I'm tough,

and
know how to do math and basic physics in my head.

* Tacoma Narrows Bridge.

A lot learned from this. It's a classic example of harmonic resonance
problems - and the most fun thing every undergrad engineering student gets
to see in some survey class.

* Titanic.

Blame this on the money people - wanting fame, and not wanting to listen

to
the naval architect.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and
rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid
risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for
reasons that are far too complicated to explain.


Most good engineers like doing things that push the risk envelope. It's

fun.
Just you have to recognize the financial reward will go to the PR guy.

If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer
will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible
but it will cost too much."


Actually, the reality is when something suggested by some technically
ignorant management weenie is too risky, won't really work - the only way

to
get out of it is by saying it'll cost bajillions.

EGO

Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are.

* How many cool devices they own.

See stereo above.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare
that the problem is un-solvable. No engineer can walk away from an
un-solvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is
sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges
quickly become personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of
nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem.
(Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving
the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex --
and I'm including the kind of sex where other people are involved.


LOL - this is really more about computer geeks than engineers. One of the
reasons I refused to become a code jockey. I had to do a bunch of code
writing in grad school, and periodically would warn my officemates to try
and get me when I'd been zoned out in the VAX room for too long.
Periodically someone would rap on the door, or send in some pizza. Awful.

I
try to avoid that syndrome. It's the same thing that keeps computer gamers
hooked for hours, or stitchers just stitchin' away to finish that last
little bit.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that
somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that
knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an
engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means
it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at
the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along
these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve
difficult technical problems."

At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand
between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the
problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.


Well, for the *smart* engineers - we know when we're being manipulated by
the technically challenged. I like to tell people - try reading the
directions. Especially if they're written in geek-speak. LOL.

Ellice - who only resembles part of this



  #8  
Old August 2nd 03, 08:57 AM
Brenda Lewis
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Bonnie wrote:
No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what
it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower
without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering
unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of
sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.


I wonder if some sort of Teflon coating in the shower would make
cleaning the shower unnecessary. Taking a shower is a pleasurable
sensory experience; cleaning the shower is not.

--
Brenda Lewis
WIP: J. Himsworth "I Shall Not Want" xs
J & P Coats "Dancing Snoopy" latchhook

  #9  
Old August 2nd 03, 03:53 PM
Beth Katz
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Ellice wrote:
I can't decide how to respond to this. Thing is, as an engineer, I
kind of resent other people making fun of us. So, while some of this
is close, with the expected use of hyperbole, some of it is kind of
mean - like the disaster stuff.


snip

My sisters are both civil engineers. One founded her own traffic
engineering company and is doing quite well. The other works in
evaluating projects for their environmental consequences. Both are
great engineers with a much better fashion and social sense than
I have as a computer science professor.

While I've known engineers and scientists who fit these jokes
wonderfully, I've seen far more engineers and scientists who
are fascinating individuals. Yes, they/we look at the world a
bit differently, but the world needs a wide variety of people.

I'm posting in this thread to remind everyone of the subtle effects
of such stereotyping in jokes.

There are far too few women going into engineering and the sciences.
Girls in middle school and earlier hear these jokes or subtle snippets
of them and get discouraged from continuing math and science study.
Many pre-teen and teen girls want to be like everyone else or at
least not the object of ridicule. The message they get is that
being an engineer is nerdy and undesirable. Some of them decide
to do it anyway. But others take another path.

There have been studies of computer classes in high schools
where the guys think they know the material well and the girls
think that they don't know it very well at all. But in reality,
they know it about equally. So the guys continue on and the girls
get discouraged. And our university computer science classes have
maybe 3-4 women and 20-some men. The jokes certainly aren't the
only problem, but they are a reflection of society's stereotypes.

Yes, I forwarded the first set of jokes to my family. But I work
against those stereotypes with my kids and other young people.

Singing Peggy Seeger's "I'm Gonna be an Engineer":

Flying Folk Army's version of the song (3.8MB takes a while to load):
http://www.flyingfolk.ca/audio/engineer.mp3

--
Beth Katz



  #10  
Old August 2nd 03, 03:54 PM
BDS2pds
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hahahahahahaha
Right on ! I have got me one of those at home !!! bdiane
 




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