no quilting and here's why.........

With regards to legal action and going above the heads of the school
administration: Ken and I have discussed this. In fact, I have a VERY
detailed, 3 page (when I printed it out) email to the assistant
superintendent who handles discipline policy as well as the
superintendent. We decided to hold it for now since, by all the
information I've received, they are keeping the boys separated in that
one class, and the bus issue was "resolved" by me taking the kids off
their respective buses.

HOWEVER.....if one more thing happens (and since they don't get out of
school until June, it is quite probable that something will happen),
that letter will be going out, and i will be working on getting the
emails (at the very least) of all the school board members and sending
it to them....of course, if it happens between now and March 3rd, I
can hand deliver them at the next school board meeting.....following
that, if no action is taken, we will go the lawyer route, and I
already have one who has been very nice to work with - found him when
another attorney suggested that I file a civil suit against the other
kid's parents and I needed that explained by someone local to me.
Surprisingly, he said, if I wanted to just give him my money, he could
do that, and it would put fear into the parents, but really there
wasn't anything they could do as far as a legal case. He also said,
if it continues, he'd be more than happy to do a cease & desist order
to the child, his parents, the school, and the superintendent with
regards to the bullying and the allowing of the bullying with no
acceptable consequences....again, we're holding that in reserve at
this time.

Phew....Thomas is home today (picked him up early yesterday - nurse
said his face was beet red and he felt warm and said he was
nauseous...."looked 'puny' to her") and is rather lethargic. I'm
hoping it's the combination of stress over this and the peanut butter
and fluff sandwich he had for lunch yesterday. But....he will be with
me tomorrow afternoon and we will take care of business and hopefully
that will be an end to everything....doubtful, but I am trying to stay
positive.

On 23/02/2012 02:06, off kilter wrote:
Thought I'd post an update since I know this group is full of prayer
warriors and supportive people.

On 2/8, a child on the bus called my DS gay, then tripped him right as
he was at the top of the stairs to get off the bus. DS was able to
catch himself, but his glasses got a little bent....fixed them, and on
2/9 reported it to the principal since the VP wasn't in yet. He
talked to DS, then talked to other kid (who said, no, I didn't say
that, and he must have tripped over my binder), then back to DS where
he repeated what the other child said. SO....now my DS believes that
the principal thinks he's a liar after being told that he could go to
one of the adults for help. Another part to this is that the other
child has consistently been in AES (aka In school suspension) since
the start of the year, and my DS is on the A-B honor roll and had AES
for 1 class period, ONCE, for talking after the teacher asked him to
quiet down 3 times. ok.........

2/13, there's a school assembly and the child and his friends sit
directly behind my son, and persist in calling him gay throughout the
entire assembly.....

2/15, this same child starts by pulling my son's hair, again calling
him gay, and throwing punches at him...starting at the middle school,
continuing while they are loading more kids at the high school, and
not stopping until they get to DS's bus stop (our driveway). The
other child made it into a joke that DS was flinching every time he
threw a punch, when in reality, DS was blocking the punches, as he
learned to do in karate. Kid throws another punch, DS blocks it, kid
grabs and holds DSs arm and punches him in the head with his other
hand (nice huge, red spot on DSs forehead). Kid does it again, holds
DSs arm, and this time, punches DS hard enough to bend the nose pieces
of DSs glasses.

Immediately took the kids to the middle school, so VP saw the red
spot, the bent up glasses, etc. Child was confronted and initially
said that was how DS looked when he got on the bus....yeah, right.
Then they pulled the bus video....oh, and they questioned the bus
driver because he didn't right up the incident nor did he report it to
the school. The other child said that everything he did to Thomas (as
reported by T) is what T actually did to him.....when both the bus
driver and the other child were confronted by the video, the bus
driver first said that he didn't think it would show anything because
the boys sat in the first and second seats behind him (which means he
should have heard everything that was going on), and then the other
child admitted that it happened the way that DS had reported it as
happening.

Needless to say, I have more gray hairs as well as an appointment with
Juvenile Intake on Friday.....the other child is guilty of harassment,
assault, and battery....and it's not being handled properly by the
school since all this child has ever gotten in response to his
behavior is to be sent to AES, regardless of what the offense is.

SO....that's the latest reason for not quilting.....on a trivial note,
I'm also not quilting because DD has decided that she wants her room
repainted, so the quilt will be on hold until the room gets redone....



AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Got no advice as you seem to be taking the route I'd have advised. Just
sending hugs, tea, sympathy, gin - whatever it takes.

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

On Feb 23, 3:25*pm, Kate XXXXXX
wrote:
On 23/02/2012 02:06, off kilter wrote:



Thought I'd post an update since I know this group is full of prayer
warriors and supportive people.

On 2/8, a child on the bus called my DS gay, then tripped him right as
he was at the top of the stairs to get off the bus. *DS was able to
catch himself, but his glasses got a little bent....fixed them, and on
2/9 reported it to the principal since the VP wasn't in yet. *He
talked to DS, then talked to other kid (who said, no, I didn't say
that, and he must have tripped over my binder), then back to DS where
he repeated what the other child said. *SO....now my DS believes that
the principal thinks he's a liar after being told that he could go to
one of the adults for help. *Another part to this is that the other
child has consistently been in AES (aka In school suspension) since
the start of the year, and my DS is on the A-B honor roll and had AES
for 1 class period, ONCE, for talking after the teacher asked him to
quiet down 3 times. *ok.........

2/13, there's a school assembly and the child and his friends sit
directly behind my son, and persist in calling him gay throughout the
entire assembly.....

2/15, this same child starts by pulling my son's hair, again calling
him gay, and throwing punches at him...starting at the middle school,
continuing while they are loading more kids at the high school, and
not stopping until they get to DS's bus stop (our driveway). *The
other child made it into a joke that DS was flinching every time he
threw a punch, when in reality, DS was blocking the punches, as he
learned to do in karate. *Kid throws another punch, DS blocks it, kid
grabs and holds DSs arm and punches him in the head with his other
hand (nice huge, red spot on DSs forehead). *Kid does it again, holds
DSs arm, and this time, punches DS hard enough to bend the nose pieces
of DSs glasses.

Immediately took the kids to the middle school, so VP saw the red
spot, the bent up glasses, etc. *Child was confronted and initially
said that was how DS looked when he got on the bus....yeah, right.
Then they pulled the bus video....oh, and they questioned the bus
driver because he didn't right up the incident nor did he report it to
the school. *The other child said that everything he did to Thomas (as
reported by T) is what T actually did to him.....when both the bus
driver and the other child were confronted by the video, the bus
driver first said that he didn't think it would show anything because
the boys sat in the first and second seats behind him (which means he
should have heard everything that was going on), and then the other
child admitted that it happened the way that DS had reported it as
happening.

Needless to say, I have more gray hairs as well as an appointment with
Juvenile Intake on Friday.....the other child is guilty of harassment,
assault, and battery....and it's not being handled properly by the
school since all this child has ever gotten in response to his
behavior is to be sent to AES, regardless of what the offense is.

SO....that's the latest reason for not quilting.....on a trivial note,
I'm also not quilting because DD has decided that she wants her room
repainted, so the quilt will be on hold until the room gets redone....

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Got no advice as you seem to be taking the route I'd have advised. *Just
sending hugs, tea, sympathy, gin - whatever it takes.

--
Kate *XXXXXX *R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttonshttp://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Chocolate???

I think, by the end of this school year, I will be at least 75% gray.
Not that I mean anything negative by that, but I didn't start having
visible gray hairs until I had a middle schooler, and with everything
that is going on, they are showing up much more rapidly than I had
expected.

So....going by my assumptions, by the time Bek gets to middle school,
I'll probably be completely gray....should be an interesting look for
me...I mean, my hair has been red, purple, black, blonde, it's natural
brown....so why not gray?? lol

The school has an absolute duty to protect their students while in
school. The bus driver has an absolute duty to protect each and every
child while riding the bus.

1) Contract the police and make a written report.
2) Contact you DA's office. Make sure that they take the tape and lock
it into evidence
3) Send a letter to the district superintendent with each and every
member of the board cc'ed. Let them know the exact dates, times and
place of each event. Advise them that you want the situation rectify
within 5 days or you will not only file a police report against the
district, you will be contacting an attorney. DEMAND the removal of a
principal who does not feel he has a duty to protect the children at
his school.
4) Make sure that either the DA or the police contact the parents of
the other child. You want a restraining order against the child, full
monetary compensation from the parents for the damage done to your
son's glasses. You want to to know that you will bring action to
compel them to pay for any psychological help you child may need as a
result of the bullying tactics.
5) If the district does not put a stop to the bullying, you want them
to pay for a private school you feel will be safer for your child. If
a district cannot provide a safe place to meet your child's needs they
need to pay for a placement in which your child can effectively learn
without the fear of harassment.

BTDT.

Debbi in SO CA


On Feb 22, 6:06*pm, "off kilter "
wrote:
Thought I'd post an update since I know this group is full of prayer
warriors and supportive people.

On 2/8, a child on the bus called my DS gay, then tripped him right as
he was at the top of the stairs to get off the bus. *DS was able to
catch himself, but his glasses got a little bent....fixed them, and on
2/9 reported it to the principal since the VP wasn't in yet. *He
talked to DS, then talked to other kid (who said, no, I didn't say
that, and he must have tripped over my binder), then back to DS where
he repeated what the other child said. *SO....now my DS believes that
the principal thinks he's a liar after being told that he could go to
one of the adults for help. *Another part to this is that the other
child has consistently been in AES (aka In school suspension) since
the start of the year, and my DS is on the A-B honor roll and had AES
for 1 class period, ONCE, for talking after the teacher asked him to
quiet down 3 times. *ok.........

2/13, there's a school assembly and the child and his friends sit
directly behind my son, and persist in calling him gay throughout the
entire assembly.....

2/15, this same child starts by pulling my son's hair, again calling
him gay, and throwing punches at him...starting at the middle school,
continuing while they are loading more kids at the high school, and
not stopping until they get to DS's bus stop (our driveway). *The
other child made it into a joke that DS was flinching every time he
threw a punch, when in reality, DS was blocking the punches, as he
learned to do in karate. *Kid throws another punch, DS blocks it, kid
grabs and holds DSs arm and punches him in the head with his other
hand (nice huge, red spot on DSs forehead). *Kid does it again, holds
DSs arm, and this time, punches DS hard enough to bend the nose pieces
of DSs glasses.

Immediately took the kids to the middle school, so VP saw the red
spot, the bent up glasses, etc. *Child was confronted and initially
said that was how DS looked when he got on the bus....yeah, right.
Then they pulled the bus video....oh, and they questioned the bus
driver because he didn't right up the incident nor did he report it to
the school. *The other child said that everything he did to Thomas (as
reported by T) is what T actually did to him.....when both the bus
driver and the other child were confronted by the video, the bus
driver first said that he didn't think it would show anything because
the boys sat in the first and second seats behind him (which means he
should have heard everything that was going on), and then the other
child admitted that it happened the way that DS had reported it as
happening.

Needless to say, I have more gray hairs as well as an appointment with
Juvenile Intake on Friday.....the other child is guilty of harassment,
assault, and battery....and it's not being handled properly by the
school since all this child has ever gotten in response to his
behavior is to be sent to AES, regardless of what the offense is.

SO....that's the latest reason for not quilting.....on a trivial note,
I'm also not quilting because DD has decided that she wants her room
repainted, so the quilt will be on hold until the room gets redone....

Larisa, I'm sure your son is very grateful to have you in his corner. A
great many kids who are subject to bullying don't have anyone to turn to
when this happens so give yourself credit for being the kind of parent
who gets involved.

I'm sorry to hear you are having problems like this but proud that I
"know" you.

Judie


On 2/22/2012 9:06 PM, off kilter wrote:
Thought I'd post an update since I know this group is full of prayer
warriors and supportive people.

On 2/8, a child on the bus called my DS gay, then tripped him right as
he was at the top of the stairs to get off the bus. DS was able to
catch himself, but his glasses got a little bent....fixed them, and on
2/9 reported it to the principal since the VP wasn't in yet. He
talked to DS, then talked to other kid (who said, no, I didn't say
that, and he must have tripped over my binder), then back to DS where
he repeated what the other child said. SO....now my DS believes that
the principal thinks he's a liar after being told that he could go to
one of the adults for help. Another part to this is that the other
child has consistently been in AES (aka In school suspension) since
the start of the year, and my DS is on the A-B honor roll and had AES
for 1 class period, ONCE, for talking after the teacher asked him to
quiet down 3 times. ok.........

2/13, there's a school assembly and the child and his friends sit
directly behind my son, and persist in calling him gay throughout the
entire assembly.....

2/15, this same child starts by pulling my son's hair, again calling
him gay, and throwing punches at him...starting at the middle school,
continuing while they are loading more kids at the high school, and
not stopping until they get to DS's bus stop (our driveway). The
other child made it into a joke that DS was flinching every time he
threw a punch, when in reality, DS was blocking the punches, as he
learned to do in karate. Kid throws another punch, DS blocks it, kid
grabs and holds DSs arm and punches him in the head with his other
hand (nice huge, red spot on DSs forehead). Kid does it again, holds
DSs arm, and this time, punches DS hard enough to bend the nose pieces
of DSs glasses.

Immediately took the kids to the middle school, so VP saw the red
spot, the bent up glasses, etc. Child was confronted and initially
said that was how DS looked when he got on the bus....yeah, right.
Then they pulled the bus video....oh, and they questioned the bus
driver because he didn't right up the incident nor did he report it to
the school. The other child said that everything he did to Thomas (as
reported by T) is what T actually did to him.....when both the bus
driver and the other child were confronted by the video, the bus
driver first said that he didn't think it would show anything because
the boys sat in the first and second seats behind him (which means he
should have heard everything that was going on), and then the other
child admitted that it happened the way that DS had reported it as
happening.

Needless to say, I have more gray hairs as well as an appointment with
Juvenile Intake on Friday.....the other child is guilty of harassment,
assault, and battery....and it's not being handled properly by the
school since all this child has ever gotten in response to his
behavior is to be sent to AES, regardless of what the offense is.

SO....that's the latest reason for not quilting.....on a trivial note,
I'm also not quilting because DD has decided that she wants her room
repainted, so the quilt will be on hold until the room gets redone....

On 24/02/2012 00:37, off kilter wrote:
On Feb 23, 3:25 pm, Kate
wrote:
On 23/02/2012 02:06, off kilter wrote:



Thought I'd post an update since I know this group is full of prayer
warriors and supportive people.

On 2/8, a child on the bus called my DS gay, then tripped him right as
he was at the top of the stairs to get off the bus. DS was able to
catch himself, but his glasses got a little bent....fixed them, and on
2/9 reported it to the principal since the VP wasn't in yet. He
talked to DS, then talked to other kid (who said, no, I didn't say
that, and he must have tripped over my binder), then back to DS where
he repeated what the other child said. SO....now my DS believes that
the principal thinks he's a liar after being told that he could go to
one of the adults for help. Another part to this is that the other
child has consistently been in AES (aka In school suspension) since
the start of the year, and my DS is on the A-B honor roll and had AES
for 1 class period, ONCE, for talking after the teacher asked him to
quiet down 3 times. ok.........

2/13, there's a school assembly and the child and his friends sit
directly behind my son, and persist in calling him gay throughout the
entire assembly.....

2/15, this same child starts by pulling my son's hair, again calling
him gay, and throwing punches at him...starting at the middle school,
continuing while they are loading more kids at the high school, and
not stopping until they get to DS's bus stop (our driveway). The
other child made it into a joke that DS was flinching every time he
threw a punch, when in reality, DS was blocking the punches, as he
learned to do in karate. Kid throws another punch, DS blocks it, kid
grabs and holds DSs arm and punches him in the head with his other
hand (nice huge, red spot on DSs forehead). Kid does it again, holds
DSs arm, and this time, punches DS hard enough to bend the nose pieces
of DSs glasses.

Immediately took the kids to the middle school, so VP saw the red
spot, the bent up glasses, etc. Child was confronted and initially
said that was how DS looked when he got on the bus....yeah, right.
Then they pulled the bus video....oh, and they questioned the bus
driver because he didn't right up the incident nor did he report it to
the school. The other child said that everything he did to Thomas (as
reported by T) is what T actually did to him.....when both the bus
driver and the other child were confronted by the video, the bus
driver first said that he didn't think it would show anything because
the boys sat in the first and second seats behind him (which means he
should have heard everything that was going on), and then the other
child admitted that it happened the way that DS had reported it as
happening.

Needless to say, I have more gray hairs as well as an appointment with
Juvenile Intake on Friday.....the other child is guilty of harassment,
assault, and battery....and it's not being handled properly by the
school since all this child has ever gotten in response to his
behavior is to be sent to AES, regardless of what the offense is.

SO....that's the latest reason for not quilting.....on a trivial note,
I'm also not quilting because DD has decided that she wants her room
repainted, so the quilt will be on hold until the room gets redone....

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Got no advice as you seem to be taking the route I'd have advised. Just
sending hugs, tea, sympathy, gin - whatever it takes.

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttonshttp://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Chocolate???

Oh, yes, plenty of good Belgian chocolate!

I think, by the end of this school year, I will be at least 75% gray.
Not that I mean anything negative by that, but I didn't start having
visible gray hairs until I had a middle schooler, and with everything
that is going on, they are showing up much more rapidly than I had
expected.

I know some really good hair dyes... My currant one is a John Frieda
foam job in cherry, which is a nice grey-smothering deep glossy mahogany
sort of red.

So....going by my assumptions, by the time Bek gets to middle school,
I'll probably be completely gray....should be an interesting look for
me...I mean, my hair has been red, purple, black, blonde, it's natural
brown....so why not gray?? lol

Go silver?


--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Here is today's update:

Verified that resource officer had faxed information that was required
by juvenile intake, picked up son and headed on over. Met with intake
officer and it didn't go anywhere near as I had hoped. Basically he
said that he had to take into account the ages of the children
involved and the fact that the other child doesn't have a record. He
will also be contacting the resource officer and requesting that he
investigate it (resource officer is a sheriff's deputy assigned to
work in the schools). In the middle of our meeting, Thomas informed
both the intake officer and myself that the other child was back in
English class today (the only class they have together, and they've
already looked to see about changing the schedules around, but it
isn't possible). SO....per the school handbook, the first offense of
assault and battery is supposed to be a 10-day suspension, referral to
discipline committee, notification sent to sheriff's
department.....yet the kid was back in class today??

SO.....Monday, I will plant my butt in the front office of the middle
school until the vice principal decides to see me and I will ask why
she didn't not follow the school handbook. I will also be making a
pain of myself at the school administration office until the assistant
superintendent (the one in charge of discipline) sees me, at which
point I will inform him of all the violations of the handbook that
have happened and what has been the school's response as well as what
I have been told by the intake officer. I will NOT be giving up on
this at all. As of right now, I have everything documented in my
calendar and the email that I started has reached 3 pages where
everything has been documented.

As far as restraining order, that has to go through the juvenile
office; glasses were fixed free of charge since they are brand new and
still under warranty; written report....well, when I called the
police, I was referred to juvenile intake, and well....you can see
where that ended up. Will talk with DH about contacting the DA about
this, and have to call the bus garage to see the video....right now,
I'm just gorging on pizza (white sauce, spinach and mushrooms) and
coca-cola....will decompress by playing with fabrics and wrapping a
present for DD to take to a birthday party tomorrow.