If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
OT-old Starlia posts-long
I plucked these out of Google. Her last posts sound pretty bad. I can't help
but wonder if she had a breakdown of sorts. If her DH has shame about this he wouldn't exactly be wanting to tell anyone... Oct 29, 5:26 pm I had to give it up today or go to jail. I'm really bummed but I didn't give all the information I could. I honestly don't know their new address and I couldn't remember the new phone number. My doctor got tired of trying to get the information out of me so he called the animal control office. I had to tell my friend and she isn't happy at all. Crap! Nov 1, 6:52 pm In case anyone is wondering I started my new Dell job today. I have three weeks of training and today was a real mess but we must "remain flexible." Anyhow I'll be offsite Tuesday and Wednesday therefore no access to a computer. Once I'm on the sales floor I will have my personal computer with me and it is set up for wireless internet available throughout any Dell building. I don't know how much time I'll have but I bet it will be up and down. So in case you don't see me it's because I'm done in with pure exhaustion. After work I plan to make beads, clean house, cook dinner, and fit you guys into my evenings as well. Nov 6, 10:10 pm Okay I've been in an awful mood for several days. I noticed it really today and thought back to what has changed. I ran out of my happy pills and haven't picked them up at the pharmacy. I'll do that tomorrow. I was in a cruddy mood for many reason: I didn't want to do the deposition today; I was tired; I didn't want to go to the Pow-Wow but DH won't go without me; I don't want to work at Dell; my head has been really killing me and I had to cancel the shots yesterday; If I miss one day of training I won't have a job; Trinkett is in heat and will get pregnant this one and only time I hope; the sun was too bright; people were in a good mood; and the list goes on and on. I felt so overwhelmed and hurt, angry, mad (whatever) I just didn't want to take another breath by this afternoon. At that moment I wanted God to just take me. I wasn't even sure I'd make it through the gate I was so mean to DH today. I was in a stinking bad mood. When we finally got to eat today I told DH I wanted to get wasted. I don't like getting drunk but I was already in a bad mood so why not. In reality I had a glass of wine which was very good and got so tipsy on one glass that I was happy for a while. Nov 3, 5:26 pm Until I get this job thing under control I am going to be really lacking right now. I'm too pooped to torch and all I wanna do is go to bed. It's cold here (50's and down to 30's at night) and I'm freaking freezing! I know it's weird to you guys who live up north but Alaska is so much better because there is no humidity. It's the bone chilling humidity that really gets me. Ugh. Anyhow another thing that is so draining is being in class. You guys all know that class is so draining especially when you do role playing all day long. I get picked on because I know the products and I'm pretty out going (no, really). I think I'm feeling like Kalera...go away, leave me alone, I want just to relax and that isn't happening. I need ME time really bad. I know it won't be this way long. I also want you to know I'm not telling you guys that it's you I want to leave me alone. It's not personal against you. See below. I got served papers last night for a deposition that I can't make because if we miss even one hour of training we will lose our jobs. Period. All of our bills came do this last week and it's been a scramble to pay water, electric, etc. without starving. You know how it can be. ..Stephanie. Gotta Question? Google: rec.craft.bead http://tinyurl.com/5wm36 |
Ads |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Thank you Stephanie for finding Starlia's posts. I haven't felt that I
know her enough to put in my comments, but there has been so much discussion about her status, apparently still unknown. I'm concerned about the Nov 6th post where she says she is depressed, having skipped her medication for awhile. The red flag is her suicidal comments which do go along with depression, but sometimes people act on it. This was the LAST post that Stephanie found!! This isn't just someone disappearing from RCB, it's disappearing with red flags. For quite awhile I've thought that a few people that know her best should create a concerted plan to get news of Starlia. The first obvious step is to call her and her husband at work. Any of you know other family and friends? I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds, but I just couldn't stay silent after I read this. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. Lilyflower |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
but all that can be done has been done --seriously. But you are right -
her "comments" were red flags of depression. But she apparently does not want to be contacted... Cheryl I guess you are right...I hate being so powerless. I know that place she was in when she made those posts. You just want everyone to leave you the *uck alone, but that is when you need people the most. ..Stephanie. Gotta Question? Google: rec.craft.bead http://tinyurl.com/5wm36 |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Stephanie wrote:
but all that can be done has been done --seriously. But you are right - her "comments" were red flags of depression. But she apparently does not want to be contacted... Cheryl I guess you are right...I hate being so powerless. I know that place she was in when she made those posts. You just want everyone to leave you the *uck alone, but that is when you need people the most. .Stephanie. Yes, yes, exactly, except for the "needing people the most". If she is, like me, a true introvert, she is cringing at every phone call, probably experiencing anxiety at every email and literally running and hiding if someone knocks on the door. What I got from her posts was not that she was depressed, but that she was overwhelmed, and that's almost the opposite of depression because in depression, being left alone in complete silence and isolation feels terrible, whereas in this thing-that-has-no-name, being left alone with no stimulation and no interaction feels like perfect, beautiful freedom. Her desire to run away to Antarctica sounds like the reaction of an extreme introvert (not the same as being shy) to excess interaction and stimulation. Not many people understand what this feels like, but if she's going through what I think she's going through, all she REALLY REALLY needs is to be left completely alone. Having to go to work and experience training, even if she loves her job and loves her coworkers, is a lot of stimulation. Under those circumstances, I would probably also come home and hide from the world. It could be that she did get to the "Can't take it anymore!" point and had to let all the non-crucial things... even her eBay customers... slide just so she can continue giving her only available energy to earning a wage. -- -Kalera http://www.beadwife.com http://www.snipurl.com/kebay |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
"Over-stimulation" is how the disease of Depression was identified for me by
the psychologist, and then also by the psychiatrist. "Feeling depressed" is a symptom. Being overwhelmed is the mechanism; and that caused feelings of hopelessness, inability to communicate, poor-self worth. This is especially true of on-going Depression. Eg, I can learn to deal with the melancholy, and even learn to decrease my info input, expectations, etc, but I still reach the point of being overwhelmed. It's the nature of my disease/disability. And you're right that for an introvert, well meant attention can drive the person just that far deeper. Introverts can be clownish like my husband, or socially adroit, and need not be shy. Introvert just means that the company of other people is a drain on their mental energies. Tina Tina "Kalera Stratton" wrote... Yes, yes, exactly, except for the "needing people the most". If she is, like me, a true introvert, she is cringing at every phone call, probably experiencing anxiety at every email and literally running and hiding if someone knocks on the door. What I got from her posts was not that she was depressed, but that she was overwhelmed, and that's almost the opposite of depression because in depression, being left alone in complete silence and isolation feels terrible, whereas in this thing-that-has-no-name, being left alone with no stimulation and no interaction feels like perfect, beautiful freedom. Her desire to run away to Antarctica sounds like the reaction of an extreme introvert (not the same as being shy) to excess interaction and stimulation. Not many people understand what this feels like, but if she's going through what I think she's going through, all she REALLY REALLY needs is to be left completely alone. Having to go to work and experience training, even if she loves her job and loves her coworkers, is a lot of stimulation. Under those circumstances, I would probably also come home and hide from the world. It could be that she did get to the "Can't take it anymore!" point and had to let all the non-crucial things... even her eBay customers... slide just so she can continue giving her only available energy to earning a wage. -- -Kalera http://www.beadwife.com http://www.snipurl.com/kebay |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
"Over-stimulation" is how the disease of Depression was identified for me by the psychologist, and then also by the psychiatrist. "Feeling depressed" is a symptom. Being overwhelmed is the mechanism; and that caused feelings of hopelessness, inability to communicate, poor-self worth. Very well put, Tina.And EXACTLY how it works in me, Kalera identified it well too. As in some of the autism arc of syndromes---such as Asperger's---being overwhelmed by stimuli causes an inability to cope that is very very deep, even tho the sufferer is intelligent and capable, even highly skilled. When things are sheltered to the point of not being overwhelming, life can be extremely productiove and fulfilling....but if I get overwhelmed I just want to hide under the bed and rock quietly in the dark. I don't GET to...but some days, its a very close thing! (Probably having a waterbed makes it harder to hide under the bed too.....) Sarajane Sarajane's Polymer Clay Gallery http://www.polyclay.com |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
I can't particularly
"participate" in a friendship but I try to keep some contact with some loving people. I need that so I don't get lost, lose all perspective. SMOOCH {{{{{{{{{{Stephanie}}}}}}}}}}}} Love, Sooz |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
SMOOCH {{{{{{{{{{Stephanie}}}}}}}}}}}}
Love, Sooz Thank you |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
Christina Peterson wrote:
"Over-stimulation" is how the disease of Depression was identified for me by the psychologist, and then also by the psychiatrist. "Feeling depressed" is a symptom. Being overwhelmed is the mechanism; and that caused feelings of hopelessness, inability to communicate, poor-self worth. This is especially true of on-going Depression. Eg, I can learn to deal with the melancholy, and even learn to decrease my info input, expectations, etc, but I still reach the point of being overwhelmed. It's the nature of my disease/disability. And you're right that for an introvert, well meant attention can drive the person just that far deeper. Introverts can be clownish like my husband, or socially adroit, and need not be shy. Introvert just means that the company of other people is a drain on their mental energies. Tina Yes, but my point is that for some people, including introverts, depression itself is different from being overwhelmed. For me, as an example, when I am actually *depressed*, interaction with other, trusted, people is extremely beneficial, while when I am *overwhelmed*, it is extremely detrimental. I may not be using the terms in the same way you're using them, but I lack a better vocabulary with which to commnunicatemy meaning. -- -Kalera http://www.beadwife.com http://www.snipurl.com/kebay |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
On Sun, 26 Dec 2004 00:55:42 -0800, Kalera Stratton
wrote: Yes, but my point is that for some people, including introverts, depression itself is different from being overwhelmed. For me, as an example, when I am actually *depressed*, interaction with other, trusted, people is extremely beneficial, while when I am *overwhelmed*, it is extremely detrimental. I may not be using the terms in the same way you're using them, but I lack a better vocabulary with which to commnunicatemy meaning. I think I understand what you mean Kalera. It is hard to explain though. I suffer from anxiety disorder and have over the years had incredible difficulty in explaining to people and doctors that I am not depressed. Because what I get is *not* depression and it is different. And I relate totally to the notion of just being "over-stimulated" and for me, I have learned how important it is for me to take myself off alone, for some calm and quiet. If I dont get that, then I usually end up with a flare-up of my AD in some form or other. So, for me - in one of those periods, I really do *need* to be left alone. And that is OK - its not being histrionic. I am a big girl and can cope very well with my own personality and problems - I just need a little time alone to do that and to re-balance myself. I cannot speak with any authority about depression because thankfully I cannot say that I have ever really suffered from it. Sure I have had times when I have been depressed due to life circumstances, but that isnt the same as the crushing depressions that depression as a clinical condition would bring I dont think. The only time I think I ever came close to that was when I quit smoking and for two weeks I had the most crushing, overwhelming feeling of sheer depression. It felt like my brain was just all messed up and chemically wrong. I knew that those feelings were not *real* but they felt intense. I needed people then, just to keep me SANE! lol. So I remember thinking at the time that this must be what it is like for people with depression and being grateful that I didn't have to live with that. But it is nigh on impossible sometimes to explain anxiety disorder, general anxiety and being over-stimulated and just needing to re-charge because so many times people assume wrongly it is a case of "being depressed" and it just isn't quite the same at all. I love my life. I love being me. Just sometimes I feel physically drained by my body's responses to stimuli and I feel lacking in energy due to that. It is really interesting to me that other's obviously do notice the possible distinction between these sort of things and depression as a condition though. Wish I could have gotten any doctors to understand this. Emma www.ejrbeads.co.uk |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
a proper intro? -- long | Peggy | Beads | 37 | September 27th 04 07:47 PM |
Kandice, Candace, Starlia !!! (Or Anybody, Really) | Rachel T. | Beads | 2 | August 25th 04 05:54 AM |
Starlia gone mad:) | Candace | Beads | 4 | July 17th 04 03:20 AM |
AD, OT and On Topic - many posts in one! (long) | Kandice Seeber | Beads | 33 | July 11th 04 01:33 AM |
Hellooo! Anyone remember me? (long...epic-ly long ;o) | Kyla | Beads | 16 | May 23rd 04 10:28 PM |