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#1
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important) things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had *great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot. I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother, living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role models for what I'm facing now in any regard. Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail -- it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine", and "done up", I friggin' suck. Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part, I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it, frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers) when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got through it okay. I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either). Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia |
#2
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
I learned it from a Mary Kay consultant. All of them are trained in showing
you how to choose the right colors for your complexion, and how to properly apply it to make yourself look amazing! Karen, Queen of Squishies Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia |
#3
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
My goodness. Let's see if I got all of that: flyaway hair, pimples,
overweight and no makeup. Yes, indeed, sweet Tricia, you've hit the nail on the head. I wouldn't be tempted to hire anyone who gave the impression that she didn't give a happy hoot how she looked. I'd think if you didn't care about that, then you wouldn't care how the job you did looked either. That's a tacky criteria but first impressions are so very important. DH just paused by here and asked what was going on with the quilters today. I told him, and I told him my reaction. DH says, "You're a big help". Heck. What am I supposed to do? Tell you it doesn't matter? Nope. Let's Do something. Start asking women whose hair you admire who their stylist is. Try a couple. I'll bet there's one who can do wonders for you. And yes, make an appointment with your Mary Kay lady when you and she are unhurried. Those ladies know their business. We're going to get your 'best foot forward' if we have to bring a few gators and personally take over. We shall overcome. Polly "Karen, Queen of Squishies" wrote I learned it from a Mary Kay consultant. All of them are trained in showing you how to choose the right colors for your complexion, and how to properly apply it to make yourself look amazing! |
#4
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Polly Esther wrote: My goodness. Let's see if I got all of that: flyaway hair, pimples, overweight and no makeup. Yes, indeed, sweet Tricia, you've hit the nail on the head. You summed it up alright -- =( I wouldn't be tempted to hire anyone who gave the impression that she didn't give a happy hoot how she looked. I'd think if you didn't care about that, then you wouldn't care how the job you did looked either. That's a tacky criteria but first impressions are so very important. I do care how I look and that's part of what irritates me about the situation is fearing the fact that I do care doesn't show. DH just paused by here and asked what was going on with the quilters today. I told him, and I told him my reaction. DH says, "You're a big help". Heck. What am I supposed to do? Tell you it doesn't matter? Nope. Let's Do something. Bless your DH *hugs for him* Start asking women whose hair you admire who their stylist is. Try a couple. I'll bet there's one who can do wonders for you. And yes, make an appointment with your Mary Kay lady when you and she are unhurried. Those ladies know their business. Will start inquiring to find one -- I still consider myself new to the area and that's sort of adding to my "I feel awful and pitiful about myself" mood today. Any suggestions for meeting friends? I didn't feel comfortable at the quilt guild meeting, although to be honest, I dont' think I gave it enough of a try. The next meeting won't be for another few weeks though. Church, while people are nice, hasn't exactly netted me someone I feel I can turn to short of the Pastor who is so very busy I don't feel she has a chance to *focus* on a conversation. We're going to get your 'best foot forward' if we have to bring a few gators and personally take over. We shall overcome. Polly I think a few of those 'gators hitched a ride north with a fair company -- DH and I went walking around what was left of the county fair yesterday and one of the things available as a paid attraction was to go see the 'gators. Thanks Polly.... Tricia |
#5
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
I understand Tricia. It is painful, really, to be in a new place. We lived
in the same city for 5 generations and then, here we were in the Swamp. These are not exactly friendly, gregarious people. Bit by wee little bit, I have made progress. At your church and at your guild, you can see 'who's doing things' and offer to help. Or, . . . ask for help. I know I startle people when I see a wonderful head of hair and say to the stranger, "Your hair is gorgeous, how do you Do that?" Of course, I never say it to someone carrying a submachine gun. Thus far, they've all been delighted and eager to share. The student who stocks groceries at my store stands taller and preens a bit when I buggy by. (And . . . I know who cuts her hair.) The key word here is tenacity. Free translation: hell bent determination. Polly Polly Esther wrote: Start asking women whose hair you admire who their stylist is. Try a couple. I'll bet there's one who can do wonders for you. And yes, make an appointment with your Mary Kay lady when you and she are unhurried. Those ladies know their business. And Tricia wrote Will start inquiring to find one -- I still consider myself new to the area and that's sort of adding to my "I feel awful and pitiful about myself" mood today. Any suggestions for meeting friends? I didn't feel comfortable at the quilt guild meeting, although to be honest, I dont' think I gave it enough of a try. The next meeting won't be for another few weeks though. Church, while people are nice, hasn't exactly netted me someone I feel I can turn to short of the Pastor who is so very busy I don't feel she has a chance to *focus* on a conversation. |
#6
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?
Or if you have a BeautiControl consultant in your area, give her a call.
They also help with wardrobe colors. Department store makeup counters can also help. Julia in MN Karen, Queen of Squishies wrote: I learned it from a Mary Kay consultant. All of them are trained in showing you how to choose the right colors for your complexion, and how to properly apply it to make yourself look amazing! Karen, Queen of Squishies Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia -- This message has been scanned for viruses by Norton Anti-Virus http://webpages.charter.net/jaccola/ |
#7
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Julia in MN wrote: Or if you have a BeautiControl consultant in your area, give her a call. They also help with wardrobe colors. Department store makeup counters can also help. Julia in MN When I got interested in fabric and learning to sew, I did get books out of the library for the color selection thing and learned that I am very definitely a SPRING and am very comfortable with picking flattering colors for clothes -- that is one that I am fairly well versed in when seeking business/work clothes. When I "bum around" town or home I tend to do jeans and any old t-shirt but for work I *can* dress. The principal where I was teaching called me into her office one day for a discussion on upgrading my work wardrobe (I was being too casual in my dress). I went and bought a bunch of things that are very nice. Some don't fit appropriately anymore due to some weight gain/redistribution, but some still do. The Sears downstate actually has a decent ladies/petites department, although none of the pants in the two piece items fit me (Kate D -- any tips for a newbie on hemming up tapered slacks?) but I found a nice brand of pants that I could wear nicely and bought a mixture of colors to fill the gaps. The nearest dept store is a small JC Penny and this one doesn't have a make up counter (I went tonight and checked). The Sears outside town is strictly appliances and manly machines. I'm now starting to look for others that might be nearby that I dont' know about (I was never much of a shopper either -- another teen girly thing that just passed me by). Thanks Julia, Tricia |
#8
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
You might try some of the catalogues if shopping is far away. Coldwater
Creek carries some nice looking clothes in larger sizes with comfortable fit. I don't think their prices are outrageous either. It's worth checking. KJ "Tricia" wrote in message oups.com... Julia in MN wrote: Or if you have a BeautiControl consultant in your area, give her a call. They also help with wardrobe colors. Department store makeup counters can also help. Julia in MN When I got interested in fabric and learning to sew, I did get books out of the library for the color selection thing and learned that I am very definitely a SPRING and am very comfortable with picking flattering colors for clothes -- that is one that I am fairly well versed in when seeking business/work clothes. When I "bum around" town or home I tend to do jeans and any old t-shirt but for work I *can* dress. The principal where I was teaching called me into her office one day for a discussion on upgrading my work wardrobe (I was being too casual in my dress). I went and bought a bunch of things that are very nice. Some don't fit appropriately anymore due to some weight gain/redistribution, but some still do. The Sears downstate actually has a decent ladies/petites department, although none of the pants in the two piece items fit me (Kate D -- any tips for a newbie on hemming up tapered slacks?) but I found a nice brand of pants that I could wear nicely and bought a mixture of colors to fill the gaps. The nearest dept store is a small JC Penny and this one doesn't have a make up counter (I went tonight and checked). The Sears outside town is strictly appliances and manly machines. I'm now starting to look for others that might be nearby that I dont' know about (I was never much of a shopper either -- another teen girly thing that just passed me by). Thanks Julia, Tricia |
#10
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
I agree with Sandy about volunteering. I have many, many good friends that
I would have never met if I hadn't volunteered to coordinate a Project Linus chapter. Organizations are always looking for volunteers. I'm convinced that our volunteers (me included) get as much out of making Project Linus blankets as the kids do out of receiving the blankets. -- Donna in Idaho Reply to daawra3553 at yahoo dot com "Sandy Ellison" wrote in message ... Howdy! Catherines has good clothing and great sales: http://catherines.charmingshoppes.com/pagebuilder/ Meeting people: Tricia! Keep trying. Getting to know folks at church? Join the volunteers! When there's a meeting (committee, women's group, groundskeepers, etc.) show up. If you're easy for people to overlook, they will. You CAN do this. (Believe me, "they" don't fire volunteers. g) Ragmop/Sandy--whose quilt guild has 4 monthly small groups meeting at our church, and a band of quilters who just get together to gab and sew ;-) On 8/28/06 8:06 PM, in article , "Tricia" wrote: Julia in MN wrote: Or if you have a BeautiControl consultant in your area, give her a call. They also help with wardrobe colors. Department store makeup counters can also help. Julia in MN When I got interested in fabric and learning to sew, I did get books out of the library for the color selection thing and learned that I am very definitely a SPRING and am very comfortable with picking flattering colors for clothes -- that is one that I am fairly well versed in when seeking business/work clothes. When I "bum around" town or home I tend to do jeans and any old t-shirt but for work I *can* dress. The principal where I was teaching called me into her office one day for a discussion on upgrading my work wardrobe (I was being too casual in my dress). I went and bought a bunch of things that are very nice. Some don't fit appropriately anymore due to some weight gain/redistribution, but some still do. The Sears downstate actually has a decent ladies/petites department, although none of the pants in the two piece items fit me (Kate D -- any tips for a newbie on hemming up tapered slacks?) but I found a nice brand of pants that I could wear nicely and bought a mixture of colors to fill the gaps. The nearest dept store is a small JC Penny and this one doesn't have a make up counter (I went tonight and checked). The Sears outside town is strictly appliances and manly machines. I'm now starting to look for others that might be nearby that I dont' know about (I was never much of a shopper either -- another teen girly thing that just passed me by). Thanks Julia, Tricia |
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