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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?
"Tricia" wrote in message ups.com... No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important) things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had *great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot. Not offended, we all come here for help with various needs, it's all good. Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail -- it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine", and "done up", I friggin' suck. You'll laugh at this, but I learned about makeup (initially) from my *younger* cousin!! SHe is 10 months younger than me nad has ALWAYS been ahead of me in things (heels, perms, short skirts, makeup). SHe taught me 1-color eyeshadow application, lining under my eyes (actually ON the lower lid, which I don't do nowdays), and other nonsense. I didn't actually wear makeup until a few years later, and God help me, it was the '80s, so I had purple and baby blue eyeshadow - not good for someone with blue eyes!! Once I saw my 8th grade picture, I decided to ask for help. Mother had a friend that was hosting an Amway party - we could have our colors done for free and we could try makeup (with the thought that we would buy something). That's where I learned that shades of brown are *really* good for me (reddish-brown hair, peachy tint to skin, blue eyes). I also learned that red lipstick is NOT for me!! Flash forward a few years to when I started working for The Body Shop (btw, they also do free makeovers) and I learned even more - cleansers, moisturizers, pwder vs. cream./liquid. I went through several phases between those 2 major learning experiences, mostly trial and error because Mother didn't want to help me and friends were all so different. Sophomore year in HS: hair was short in back with longer bits on the top, 3 very blonde streaks in it, and as immovable as a Ken doll. makeup was the precursor to today's Goth (hey, I started a trend!! lol) - grey and black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, NO blush, DARK red lipstick Junior Yr: longer hair, slight layers, very minimal makeup, NO black! Sr year: spent at the local community college, where I was the youngest student at the time (16). Rarely even wore the "basics" of lipstick and mascara. Have NEVER subscribed to the opinion that I need to wear makeup whenever I go out of the house. I do a "full face" for special events (like DHs company holiday party), but if it is not as special, I might only do eyeliner and a light lipstick. NO sense doing mascara when my eyelashes are already long and thick (my glasses sit down a bit so my lashes won't hit them...and yes, both children have inherited them from me!). Clothes...I've pretyt much set my own path here. When I was younger, mom and dad taught me how to sew and they both made clothes for me (mom more than dad). I learned how to make things for myself, and LOVED home ec classes because I got credit for doing something I absolutely loved. I have had a few misses (such as the retro outfit - full skirt, thanks to a HUGE crinoline, with an off the shoulder top....never finished that crinoline, never wore the outfit), but in general, I have been able to work with my body type and personal preferences to come up with soimething that works. IN high school, I was always ahead of trends...still not sure how that happened as I was not in the head clique. But I can remember when military styled jackets first came into popularity in the late 80s...I had been wearing them for months!! ANd prom of my junior year, I wor a strapless, mint green (SO not my color) dress with a mermaid hemline.....trends we straplees; pastel colors; mermaid hemlines.....go figure that one out!!! Best I can say with regards to clothing is to find something that truly flatters you - don't be afraid to ask for help from salespeople to find something that really looks good and makes you FEEL good!! I have to agree with Kate about the glasses - I have a round face as well, and when I got my last pair of glasses, they told me my frames were only making it look rounder! I now have small oval shaped frames and I love them (good thing I don't still need bifocals or else I couldn't have these frames). I was told that, they pupil should be in the center of the lens, and the glasses should only be *slightly* bigger than the area of the eye...hence the new frames...took a while to get used to, but I wouldn't go back to the others for anything. SOmething to consider for the future. Let's see....hair...well, I covered that a little bit earlier. However, I have been jet black, white blonde, neon red, strawberry blonde, and on one horriffic misadventure, gatorade yellow (bleaching gone awry, was fixed with a second bleaching then a light brown dye applied). I am currently at my natural color - deep auburn....only now, it is getting those lovely silver highlights in it (either don't show up or show up all at once, 1 at a time is driving me mad!). It is very fine, but very thick...AND it is incredibly wavy. Of course, I knew this, but refused to do anything with it as both my DH and I like me having long hair. ENter a dear friend from church...she told me I was a frizzball and asked how I wore my hair - usually in a ponytail because it was so heavy and worthless if it was down. She didn't take much off the back length, but she cut in long layers, which eased out the frizz and brought out my natural curls...looks completely different!! I have never seen my hair look like this before, and I love it!! Just something to think about - even if you are "used" to a certain haircut, doesn't mean that it is the right one for you - lifestyle, face shape, etc. are all things you should take into consideration. Guess that's about it....just fyi, I am usually in jeans and a t-shirt unless it's something where I have to look like more than a SAHM...in shich case, I lean towards slacks and a nice top...sometimes you can get me to wear a skirt or dress, but only on the days where I am not dealing with hormonal issues. Larisa, who is still sick but wanted to get a jump on this thread Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part, I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it, frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers) when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got through it okay. I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either). Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia |
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Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"? | Tricia | Quilting | 104 | September 1st 06 10:28 PM |