Nordic Needle?

lucretia borgia wrote:

Disclaimer: I am NOT condoning rape, it's a joke people.


So's this one.....

There were these two nuns. One was known as Sister Mathematica and the
other as Sister Logica. It was getting dark, and they were still far off
from the convent.

Sister Mathematica: Have you noticed that a man has been following us
for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

Sister Logica: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most.
What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It’s not working

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He
started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll
go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logica. Sister Mathematica arrives
at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logica.
Then Sister Logica arrives.

SM: Sister Logica! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so
he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could
and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster
than a man with his pants down…

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, pray for forgiveness.



--
Karen C - California

Finished 7/4/06 - needlepoint calendar canvas for August
WIP: Getting all the UFOs done, July birthstone, Flowers of
Hawaii (Jeanette Crews) for ME!!!, Farmers Market (TIAG#8)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel
LTR: Fireman's Prayer (#2), Amid Amish Life, Angel of Autumn,
Calif Sampler, Holiday Snowglobe

www.CFSfacts.org where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf

See my designs exclusively at www.TyWolfeDesigns.com

Editor/Proofreader http://hometown.aol.com/kmc528/KMC.html

"lucretia borgia" wrote in message
...

snip rest of thread -- it's irrelevant

At the risk of being flippant, remember the saying "Confuscius he say
rape impossible, just lie back and enjoy it"

Disclaimer: I am NOT condoning rape, it's a joke people.

And a joke that got a NYC weatherman fired back in the 70s, when he used it
on air following a rape story in the previous news segment. I guess it was
about that time that rape jokes became unfunny.

Felice

"Karen C - California" wrote in message
...
lucretia borgia wrote:

Disclaimer: I am NOT condoning rape, it's a joke people.


So's this one.....

There were these two nuns. One was known as Sister Mathematica and the
other as Sister Logica. It was getting dark, and they were still far off
from the convent.

Sister Mathematica: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

Sister Logica: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What
can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It’s not working

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He
started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go
this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logica. Sister Mathematica arrives at
the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logica. Then
Sister Logica arrives.

SM: Sister Logica! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so
he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could
and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than
a man with his pants down…

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, pray for forgiveness.

I'm already on my knees!

Mavia

"lucretia borgia" wrote in message
...
"Felice Friese" ,in
rec.crafts.textiles.needleworkwrote:
and entertained us with

"lucretia borgia" wrote in message
. ..

snip rest of thread -- it's irrelevant

At the risk of being flippant, remember the saying "Confuscius he say
rape impossible, just lie back and enjoy it"

Disclaimer: I am NOT condoning rape, it's a joke people.

And a joke that got a NYC weatherman fired back in the 70s, when he used
it
on air following a rape story in the previous news segment. I guess it was
about that time that rape jokes became unfunny.

Felice

If I were to use it in the context of rape, I would hope I would be
fired. I thought I was quite careful to mention I did not condone
rape. The context in which I unwisely used the joke was that Mavia
had called NN and basically shelled out.

Sorry people don't get it.

I got it and chuckled...then of course I know you!

One correction though...it's Elegant Stitch that gets my money!

Mavia

"lucretia borgia" wrote in message
...
"Mavia Beaulieu" ,in
rec.crafts.textiles.needleworkwrote:
and entertained us with

"lucretia borgia" wrote in message
. ..
"Felice Friese" ,in
rec.crafts.textiles.needleworkwrote:
and entertained us with

"lucretia borgia" wrote in message
m...

snip rest of thread -- it's irrelevant

At the risk of being flippant, remember the saying "Confuscius he say
rape impossible, just lie back and enjoy it"

Disclaimer: I am NOT condoning rape, it's a joke people.

And a joke that got a NYC weatherman fired back in the 70s, when he used
it
on air following a rape story in the previous news segment. I guess it
was
about that time that rape jokes became unfunny.

Felice

If I were to use it in the context of rape, I would hope I would be
fired. I thought I was quite careful to mention I did not condone
rape. The context in which I unwisely used the joke was that Mavia
had called NN and basically shelled out.

Sorry people don't get it.

I got it and chuckled...then of course I know you!

One correction though...it's Elegant Stitch that gets my money!

Mavia

I went to Bev' s 'yard sale' last week - nearly $100 lighter, sigh.

I didn't hear about that. Is she giving up or downsizing the business or
just selling off excess supplies?

Mavia

"lucretia borgia" wrote in message
...
"Mavia Beaulieu" ,in
rec.crafts.textiles.needleworkwrote:
and entertained us with

I went to Bev' s 'yard sale' last week - nearly $100 lighter, sigh.

I didn't hear about that. Is she giving up or downsizing the business or
just selling off excess supplies?

Mavia

No, she's doing what she always did. Her lessons are only in the
winter though. She still has a full line of Appletons and many new
Elsa Williams crewel and needlepoint kits. She also carries the Elsa
Williams crewel wools as well but they don't have the range of shades
the Appletons do, which is what I wanted. She also has good linen,
though I have found Copelands just as nice for embroidery linen and
cheaper.

She seems to have adjusted okay. I kind of think one of the grandsons
is actually living there with her, which may or may not be, a good
thing. She apparently reads her emails when he opens it up for her, I
was dying to tell her she could so easily do it herself but she is
convinced you need to be a rocket scientist to use a computer!

Her yard sale was more on the buttons, zippers and sewing items, those
she is clearing away. I am sure if you wanted any, she would be more
than glad to sell to you.

That probably would be left over stock from when they had the shop with
sewing materials etc. Glad to hear she's doing well. You really need to
convince her to get a handle on using her computer. There are lots of basic
courses at the libraries that would be helpful.

Mavia

lucretia borgia wrote:

I have found many people believe they can press one button and
everything will implode. Sometimes I wish that were so!


I had a co-worker who thought that way.

We hired her because we were impressed that a 60 y/o had the gumption to
go back to school after her husband died, to learn word processing.
Unfortunately, the school apparently graduated her for the same reason.
She was petrified to hit any of the keys that don't appear on a
standard typewriter keyboard. She'd type a letter, but I had to hit
Ctrl-P to print it.

One afternoon when things were slow, I made her stop-watch me, as I hit
Ctrl-Alt-Del, to the time I got the computer up and running again.
Matter of minutes. Then I showed her the worst possible thing that
could happen -- I unplugged the computer, which in those days caused
total memory loss. Took me less than an hour to reload absolutely
everything we'd just lost, and far less than that to reinstall just the
software we needed to be able to start working. Finally convinced her
that nothing she could do (short of pouring a pitcher of water into it)
would kill the computer.



--
Karen C - California

Finished 7/4/06 - needlepoint calendar canvas for August
WIP: Getting all the UFOs done, July birthstone, Flowers of
Hawaii (Jeanette Crews) for ME!!!, Farmers Market (TIAG#8)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel
LTR: Fireman's Prayer (#2), Amid Amish Life, Angel of Autumn,
Calif Sampler, Holiday Snowglobe

www.CFSfacts.org where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf

See my designs exclusively at www.TyWolfeDesigns.com

Editor/Proofreader http://hometown.aol.com/kmc528/KMC.html

Karen C - California wrote:
lucretia borgia wrote:


I have found many people believe they can press one button and
everything will implode. Sometimes I wish that were so!



I had a co-worker who thought that way.

We hired her because we were impressed that a 60 y/o had the gumption to
go back to school after her husband died, to learn word processing.
Unfortunately, the school apparently graduated her for the same reason.
She was petrified to hit any of the keys that don't appear on a
standard typewriter keyboard. She'd type a letter, but I had to hit
Ctrl-P to print it.

One afternoon when things were slow, I made her stop-watch me, as I hit
Ctrl-Alt-Del, to the time I got the computer up and running again.
Matter of minutes. Then I showed her the worst possible thing that
could happen -- I unplugged the computer, which in those days caused
total memory loss. Took me less than an hour to reload absolutely
everything we'd just lost, and far less than that to reinstall just the
software we needed to be able to start working. Finally convinced her
that nothing she could do (short of pouring a pitcher of water into it)
would kill the computer.

Now Karen, you don't know that. She might have enjoyed playing with
high voltage!

--
Brenda
Arrrrrgh, now I'm going to have AC/DC playing in my head all night!

On 7/20/06 8:51 PM, in article ,
"lucretia borgia" wrote:

On Thu, 20 Jul 2006 17:45:37 -0700, Karen C - California
wrote:

lucretia borgia wrote:

I think the grandson has her convinced it is difficult. I know once
she was telling me what a computer genius he is, I am afraid I don't
believe one word of it. Easy for a person who knows nothing to think
a person with a little knowledge is a genuis lol


Doesn't even take someone else to convince people it's difficult. Mom
convinced herself.

One of my cousin's kids was online, spotted me online, asked did Mom
want to have IM with me, and Mom didn't even want to use the shift key
for fear she'd blow something up. She typed her half of the
conversation in all lower case and then made Heather click "Send". When
Heather got bored and walked away, even though Mom saw what she'd been
doing, she wouldn't click "Send" herself, she made the even-younger kid
come over and do it for her.

Last time I was home, we had one of Fred's lengthy and humorous
missives, which I chose not to read aloud because it was so long. I
instructed her "just press the down arrow". Oh, no, she might break my
expensive computer and then how would I do my work?

Dad, who doesn't even know how to use a typewriter, was game. "This
button?" "Yeah, Dad." So, he sat and scrolled down and Mom stood and
read over his shoulder. All by himself he figured out, when she
complained "I didn't finish that paragraph", that the solution was the
up arrow. While she's shrieking "you don't know it's OK to touch that!"
Seemed logical to Dad that if there was something he shouldn't touch,
I would've pointed to it and said "touch this, you die" before I walked
away.

Nearly 20 years ago, I bought her an electric/memory typewriter. She's
still using her old Sears manual. She's NOT that stupid, she was high
school valedictorian at age 15, she's just got herself convinced that
any electronic device might explode if she pushes the wrong button.

I have found many people believe they can press one button and
everything will implode. Sometimes I wish that were so!
Gee - my Dad manages to!

Cheryl