Back Again

Hi y'all

I'm back again. Went into a deep slump when I had to close my shop
last fall.

I have rallied and have a lot of changes going on in my life now.

I am now getting close to my 4 year Breast Cancer free mark.

My husband of 28 years has decided he doesn't want to be married any
more.

I will be moving to North Carolina in the spring and will be living in
my motor home...AND I will have a shop again!

I am hosting a Stitcher's retreat in December this year. I will post
the info in the next 2 posts. If anyone from this list can come,
mention you saw it here and when I invoice you, I will give you 10%
off the basic admission.

That's the high points for now.

Naomah

Naomah Black wrote:
Hi y'all

I'm back again. Went into a deep slump when I had to close my shop
last fall.

I have rallied and have a lot of changes going on in my life now.

I am now getting close to my 4 year Breast Cancer free mark.

My husband of 28 years has decided he doesn't want to be married any
more.

I will be moving to North Carolina in the spring and will be living in
my motor home...AND I will have a shop again!

I am hosting a Stitcher's retreat in December this year. I will post
the info in the next 2 posts. If anyone from this list can come,
mention you saw it here and when I invoice you, I will give you 10%
off the basic admission.

That's the high points for now.

Naomah
I usually lurk, but this time allow me to say congratulations on your
four year mark. And congratulations on your future plans. My DH also
decided he didn't want to be married anymore after 20 years, and things
are going so well for me that I wish he would have had his mid-life
crisis 15 years ago. Please let me know if you'll be shipping to Canada
once your new shop opens. )

Maureen

On 11/17/09 7:04 PM, in article
, "Naomah
Black" wrote:

Hi y'all

I'm back again. Went into a deep slump when I had to close my shop
last fall.

I have rallied and have a lot of changes going on in my life now.

I am now getting close to my 4 year Breast Cancer free mark.

My husband of 28 years has decided he doesn't want to be married any
more.

I will be moving to North Carolina in the spring and will be living in
my motor home...AND I will have a shop again!

I am hosting a Stitcher's retreat in December this year. I will post
the info in the next 2 posts. If anyone from this list can come,
mention you saw it here and when I invoice you, I will give you 10%
off the basic admission.

That's the high points for now.

Naomah


Hi there, glad to see you back here. Sorry about the husband but the rest
sounds pretty positive.

Cheryl

"Karen C - Calif" wrote .
Maureen Miller wrote:
My DH also
decided he didn't want to be married anymore after 20 years, and things
are going so well for me that I wish he would have had his mid-life
crisis 15 years ago.
Amen to that. They think they're mortally wounding us by saying "I don't
want to be married any more" and instead they're setting us free to soar!

Word filters back to me occasionally about how badly things are going for
my ex; I doubt he would have made the same decision if he'd known his life
was going to implode. Bwahahahaha

My first ex is doing very well financially. Better than me. Would I have
still left him had I known how good the future would be, materially??
Absolutely. And he knows that I am sure. (My favourite scripture passage
is the one about the lilies of the field. I don't worry much about stuff.
Never have.) My current not-quite-ex wanted to come back 10 days after he
left. I decided it was finally time he took the consequences of his own
foolishness, after many years of everyone saving him from it, and said no.
It took me a bit of time to realize that I am, finally, totally, completely,
on my own (I married right from my mother's house as a teenager the first
time, went from H1 to H2, never lived alone.)
I am just now appreciating all the little things that means, and slowing
learning to do whatever I want--which, sometimes, after raising kids and
looking after men and my mother during her Alzheimer's , means trying to
remember exactly what that is!! I'm getting there.

Dawne

Karen C - Calif wrote:
Dawne Peterson wrote:

My current not-quite-ex wanted to come back 10 days after he left. I
decided it was finally time he took the consequences of his own
foolishness, after many years of everyone saving him from it, and said
no.




Attagirl!

At one point, his sister and I had decided to do tough love, if he
wanted to spend, he had to figure out how to pay off the credit card
himself. I was willing to sacrifice my credit history, and she was in
agreement that she wasn't going to help him out.

His dad and dad's girlfriend came down to visit and over dinner he
starts hitting up dad for money to pay his credit card. Dad reaches for
his wallet, and GF glares at him "you're not helping". It took a few
go-rounds for Dad to get it that she doesn't mean she's telling him how
to spend his own money, she means that continuing to bail out his messes
is not going to help this spoiled 40-something grow up into a
responsible adult.

When he announced "I don't want to be married any more", I one last time
gave him what he wanted. He did later try to put the blame on me,
forgetting that he had also told his best friend he didn't want to be
married, and was reminded by his friend that this was his decision, and
that I had kindly spent the $300 so he didn't have to pay the court fee.
Now take the consequences that you didn't think through before you
whined about wanting your freedom.

And his friend promptly called me to laugh over their conversation;
decades of his dad insulating him from the consequences of his actions
had left him unable to imagine that there might actually be unpleasant
consequences.


One of the things my ex used to go nuts over was that I hung the toilet
paper backwards. Yes, apparently there is a right and wrong direction
to hang toilet paper. You see, the heat vent blows up from the floor
right under the toilet paper. If the paper's on backwards, the furnace
kicks in and pushes the last square up to the roll so he can't get it
easily. But if it's hung the right way, when the furnace kicks in it
blows that last square out so it's easy to find. lolol. God I love my
freedom. Somebody should really come up with a good stitch pattern for
this kind of thing you know!

Maureen

Maureen Miller ) writes:
One of the things my ex used to go nuts over was that I hung the toilet
paper backwards. Yes, apparently there is a right and wrong direction
to hang toilet paper. You see, the heat vent blows up from the floor
right under the toilet paper. If the paper's on backwards, the furnace
kicks in and pushes the last square up to the roll so he can't get it
easily. But if it's hung the right way, when the furnace kicks in it
blows that last square out so it's easy to find. lolol. God I love my
freedom. Somebody should really come up with a good stitch pattern for
this kind of thing you know!

Maureen

One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is how stupid many men are
when they get married. About the most "selfish" thing a man can do with a
new bride, is to work out what his bride REALLY wants, and they go out of
his way to see she gets it. If a man does this, what his wife will give
him in return over the years that they are married, is billions of times
what he has put out to try and please her. Of course, if he really does
it for selfish reasons, it wont work. Jim.

In message , Karen C - Calif
writes
F.James Cripwell wrote:
One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is how stupid many
men are
when they get married. About the most "selfish" thing a man can do with a
new bride, is to work out what his bride REALLY wants, and they go out of
his way to see she gets it. If a man does this, what his wife will give
him in return over the years that they are married, is billions of times
what he has put out to try and please her. Of course, if he really does
it for selfish reasons, it wont work. Jim.



You are one of the few men I know who has gotten it right, which is why
you never became "an ex".

I keep running into the men who think a relationship is a contest of
wills and that they win if they bully the woman into complete
submission. I guess my independent streak is an irresistible challenge
to men like that...

My husband is one of those few men also.
We have been married 55 years as on November 6th this month.

We have both had the very great pleasure of meeting Jim.
Hugs
Shirley
--
Shirley Shone

http://www.allcrafts.org.uk

On Nov 20, 11:28*pm, Maureen Miller
wrote:
Karen C - Calif wrote:



Dawne Peterson wrote:

*My current not-quite-ex wanted to come back 10 days after he left. *I
decided it was finally time he took the consequences of his own
foolishness, after many years of everyone saving him from it, and said
no.

Attagirl!

At one point, his sister and I had decided to do tough love, if he
wanted to spend, he had to figure out how to pay off the credit card
himself. *I was willing to sacrifice my credit history, and she was in
agreement that she wasn't going to help him out.

His dad and dad's girlfriend came down to visit and over dinner he
starts hitting up dad for money to pay his credit card. *Dad reaches for
his wallet, and GF glares at him "you're not helping". *It took a few
go-rounds for Dad to get it that she doesn't mean she's telling him how
to spend his own money, she means that continuing to bail out his messes
is not going to help this spoiled 40-something grow up into a
responsible adult.

When he announced "I don't want to be married any more", I one last time
gave him what he wanted. *He did later try to put the blame on me,
forgetting that he had also told his best friend he didn't want to be
married, and was reminded by his friend that this was his decision, and
that I had kindly spent the $300 so he didn't have to pay the court fee..
*Now take the consequences that you didn't think through before you
whined about wanting your freedom.

And his friend promptly called me to laugh over their conversation;
decades of his dad insulating him from the consequences of his actions
had left him unable to imagine that there might actually be unpleasant
consequences.

One of the things my ex used to go nuts over was that I hung the toilet
paper backwards. *Yes, apparently there is a right and wrong direction
to hang toilet paper. *You see, the heat vent blows up from the floor
right under the toilet paper. *If the paper's on backwards, the furnace
kicks in and pushes the last square up to the roll so he can't get it
easily. *But if it's hung the right way, when the furnace kicks in it
blows that last square out so it's easy to find. lolol. *God I love my
freedom. *Somebody should really come up with a good stitch pattern for
this kind of thing you know!

Maureen

One of the things that DH & I used to laugh about when we first got
serious was that we must be meant for each other because we both hang
the toilet paper in the "correct" direction. :-))))))) Now we laugh
about other things (27 years in August) but we still laugh when we
can. It makes a HUGE difference to be able to find things to laugh at
together when other things aren't going at all well. :-)
Liz from Humbug

On Nov 21, 8:35*am, (F.James Cripwell)
wrote:

One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is how stupid many men are
when they get married. *About the most "selfish" thing a man can do with a
new bride, is to work out what his bride REALLY wants, and they go out of
his way to see she gets it. *If a man does this, what his wife will give
him in return over the years that they are married, is billions of times
what he has put out to try and please her. *Of course, if he really does
it for selfish reasons, it wont work. *Jim.

Y'know, Jim, you should write a book (which, of course, most men
wouldn't read lol)....or at least be involved in pre-marriage
counseling!!!! With more men like you teaching, maybe the world
wouldn't be the way it is.

Joan

"Naomah Black" wrote in message
...
Hi y'all

I'm back again. Went into a deep slump when I had to close my shop
last fall.

I have rallied and have a lot of changes going on in my life now.

I am now getting close to my 4 year Breast Cancer free mark.

My husband of 28 years has decided he doesn't want to be married any
more.

I will be moving to North Carolina in the spring and will be living in
my motor home...AND I will have a shop again!

I am hosting a Stitcher's retreat in December this year. I will post
the info in the next 2 posts. If anyone from this list can come,
mention you saw it here and when I invoice you, I will give you 10%
off the basic admission.

That's the high points for now.

Naomah


Glad you're doing good except for the husband thing. Mine has decided after
19 years marriage plus a year before that,
that he no longer loves me and wants a divorce..I think as well as others,
that he's in a depression and doesn't want to
acknowledge it..His father passed away 6 months ago, a friend at work was
diagnosed with breast cancer and 2 of
his buddies divorced..I mean if one of his brothers , who's not the
brightest bulb in the lamp, can figure it out, what the heck?

but as I was talking with my MIL, his stepmom, yesterday and telling her
that I had talked with my own lawyer (not-so-DH (right now)
had told me that I could use his! HA!) , she said that she would help me
with the retainer since I've been an SAHM for past
13 years and just starting a part-time job in couple weeks.. That should get
his goat but good.

Donna in S. IN