Photographing your beads

Oh, come on... she was just expressing an opinion, and frankly, whether
it bothers you or me or anyone else to be persistently asked personal
questions in private email by people we don't know is irrelevant to her
point, and while you think it's rude of her to express that opinion, I
think it's even ruder for you to belittle her for it.

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Craftology wrote:
People have such chutzpah.
~~
Sooz


Were you looking in the mirror when you typed that? OH....sorry....I really
shouldn't have said that......it wasn't very nice.

Caren

Anger and swearing I can take... but
deliberate humiliation and/or hurting of another human being goes
against everything I believe in. No double standard there at all.

SO let me get this straight. You would have preferred that I responded to
Sooz's "kiss my ass" post by saying "lick my hole"? Or maybe "that's a bunch
of horse ****?" Or "screw you Sooz" THAT is better to you?
I'm ROFL here.

The thing is, an invitation to kiss one's ass is not ad hominem attack.
Calling someone an ass-kisser would be. "Takes one to know one" is.

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Lisa D. wrote:
bluemaxx wrote:


I haven't read all the posts in these threads, just a few of them - and
most all have been deleted unread. But I clicked on this post from
craftology and it stood out. IMP, craftology has tried to humiliate
Sooz with the post.

But Sooz telling craftology to kiss her ass was perfectly okay? And for
the record, I didn't say anything about Sooz's post because it didn't
offend me. Believe me, in the forums I'm used to "kiss my ass" is pretty
mild. What offends me is the apparent double standard I see going on here.

Lisa

1. I have lurked here for a while.
2. Do you know what MY life story is? Do you know if perhaps I might have
health issues?
3. Despite the fact that pain can cause people to behave in an unkind manner,
if and when that does happen said person should apologize. Bad health/pain is
not an excuse for treating others badly, especially when it happens often.
4. You automatically excuse certain people but assume others are malicious?
That doesn't seem very fair.





Subject: Photographing your beads ~LONG~
From: "Christina Peterson"
Date: 7/3/2004 8:23 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

Hi Lisa,

You're right, there is an element of double standard going on here.

Actually, that's one reason people are always advised to lurk awhile. The
people here know Sooz has an acerbic style, and also know Sooz has major
difficulty with pain that sometimes makes her irritable. Same way we know
Kathy NV has extreme pain and tells lots of OT stories, which we wouldn't
necessarily accept from others. People know I live in Alaska and eat wild
meat - I want Rudolph for Christmas dinner. They know I have Depression,
and get flaky when I'm overwhelmed. In a normal society we know each other.
In the newsgroup we know each other too.

So, yes, there are "double standards". But, as in the real world, it's more
a matter of accommodating individuals, and acknowledging humanity.

Tina




But Sooz telling craftology to kiss her ass was
perfectly okay? And for the record, I didn't say
anything about Sooz's post because it didn't offend me.
Believe me, in the forums I'm used to "kiss my ass" is
pretty mild. What offends me is the apparent double
standard I see going on here.

Lisa

I think the point of Sooz's post was to make people wonder whether it
was a good idea to ask a question like that in private email before
seeking public resources to answer the same question.

There are people in my neighborhood who don't understand that it's rude
to come ask me for a beer during my dinnertime. People I don't know,
mind you... they just decided to come knock on my door. Just because
they don't know doesn't mean they aren't being rude. Shouldn't someone
tell them?

I have said before that I like answering questions. It's true, I do
enjoy it. That doesn't make Sooz wrong, though. If you don't know
someone at least casually, should you perhaps think about looking at
public resources for the asnwer to your question *before* sending a
private email to a total stranger?

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Craftology wrote:
I'm not talking about anyone's Personal Feelings about whether or not they'd
want to respond to this sort of person. I'm talking about the person asking
in
the first place.


Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Why assume the person asking has any idea
that they shouldn't be asking?

Caren

No, I don't think you quite have it... You can, and should, post
questions to the newsgroup about whatever you are interested in!
Competitor or not. For that matter, most people here welcome private
email questions from others they know from here on the group.

What would be considered tactless would be if you were, say, a jewelry
designer, and you emailed another, more successful jewelry designer who
didn't know you at all, not even online, and asked them the name of
their wholesaler and step-by-step directions for their really cool
signature clasps.

As I understand it, that's the sort of breach of manners that's being
discussed here.

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


K. M. Chan wrote:
Just want to make sure I understand so I don't get anyone mad at me...
as long as I'm not a "competitor" (I take that to mean one who creates
and sells beads and/or beadwork), it's okay to ask questions to the
newsgroup (but not to an individual), right? Don't get me wrong -- I
understand the sentiment (not wanting to help a competitor). If I was a
bead seller I probably wouldn't want to be helpful to the "competition"
either (I sell Mary Kay, and I doubt I'd want to help out an Avon Lady
*grin*). It's just that when I saw the topic, I thought "Hey, neat
topic, maybe I'll learn something!", but then was rather surprised when
I saw what the topic really had to say.

I love newsgroups and mailing lists where I can feel free to ask for
advice, or am welcome to share. I've enjoyed this group for the last
few months that I've been here (and was about to post a message to show
off something I had made!) I've seen lots of beautiful work created by
folks in this group, gotten many ideas, and learned a lot of neat
things. I've also seen how nurturing the group can be to it's members,
and have hoped to be able to spend more time interacting with folks in
the group, and that's one of the reasons I keep coming back. The
lurking and learning has been great, and I look forward to learning as
much as I can from the experts (tho' I may just stay in lurk mode).

JMHO,
K

Here is why I don't see lampwork artists as competitors the same way I see 2
people selling Swarovski crystal bicones as competitors.

These two people are obviously competing:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...em=49089056 1
6&rd=1

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...em=49094051 3
9&rd=1

In my opinion the next two are not competing because they have very different
styles. One I like, one I don't. So I don't see them as selling the same
thing:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...tem=4908961 4
16&rd=1

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...9085 545&rd=1

As a full-time professional lampworker, I both agree and disagree.
Fabulous photos will sell beads that are just OK, and bad photos will
ruin the chance of selling fabulous beads. Lampwork artists are not
selling the exact same item, but up to a point they might as well be...
two sets of blue and white stacked dot or scroll beads, and the one with
the better photos wins. More sellers mean lower prices because there are
enough similar styles out there that the buyer who can't get set A for
under $30 just moves on to set B which has no bids.

Yes, we are competitors, in a way... not selling the same merchandise
item for item, but competing for a piece of the market.

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Craftology wrote:
But -- have you LOOKED on eBay? I know, I kn ow, you have. You don't call
that competition?


I understand the concept of competition on eBay. In my opinion, simply the
fact that there are many people selling lampwork on eBay does not make them
competitors in the same way that those selling Swarovski bicones are
competitors. Lampwork artists are not selling the same exact items. If your
work is appealing and well priced, it will sell. If your work is outstanding
it will likely sell at a higher price. There is no denying that good photos
help to sell a product but fabulous photos of bad looking beads will not turn
ugly into beautiful.

Caren

Yup. Completely true.
And of course I also don't want to seem rude or snooty by ignoring
people... who does?

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Christina Peterson wrote:
-snip-

Though of course at some point you have to tell people to come
in for classes or you won't have time to sell beads so you can pay your
rent.

Tina


"Kalera Stratton" wrote in message
...

I think your point about choosing a role as a teacher makes a lot of
sense. Some people are SUPPOSED to be teachers... they can't help it. I
think those that are natural teachers may have a hard time seeing the
other side of the story.

I know I am inclined toward teaching. At the same time, I live a life
that is incredibly demanding and pressed for time, so although I enjoy
asking questions, I also understand the other side of the equation...
when people feel pressured and ambushed by questions. My auctions are
NOT high-profile, so I'm not bombarded by questions... I get three or
four per week, not per day. It's easy for me to be laid-back about them.

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Dr. Sooz wrote:

after reading some of these posts, I'll
be thinking twice before purchasing from those who feel that helping

someone

less experienced is a nuisance.


NOT a nuisance. They can't -- they just don't have the time to answer

half a

dozen detailed inquiries every couple of days!



Perhaps if you don't want to be bothered with
questions you shouldn't post your ads here or sell on the interent.


I don't -- do your research before you tell me what to do.



If the ad
links to the auctions/websites with the great pictures can't be seen

then

maybe
there won't be anyone to bother you with questions about those pictures.


----What? What are you talking about? You're just ****ed off that

others

aren't as Pollyanna, nor are they using up their entire day answering
questions. You CHOSE your role as teacher. YOU answer the questions,

and stop

judging those who don'thave the time or inclination.

Not everyone is Mother Teresa. I'm so freaking sorry. It's a choice.

It's a

limitation. Not all of us are you. I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm not the

soul of

generosity you are. Think I'll take down the ****ing Links List right

now, in

fact -- and Bead Notes too. And you can kiss my ass.
~~
Sooz

In article ,
(DreamBeadr) writes:

I have also come to realize, mostly with the questions regarding my business,
that a lot of folks are basically clueless that those questions are rude.
They think asking a store owner where you get your product is perfectly
normal.
Blows my mind. I am wondering how many times they have walked into a
clothing boutique and asked the owner where she gets her dresses from?

When I ask such a question, I usually am asking about "origin" of the product--
like country, state, local, etc. That's how I answer such questions, too. It
seems to satisfy most of the questioners, so you might consider that
possibility before reaching for another nitroglycerine tablet....

I work at a combo gift and bead shop, and get "Where does it come from/where do
you get this?" on all sorts of stuff. Most of the ethnic import "gifts" are
labled/tagged with country of origin, but few of the beads are. However, I
figure it's part of my job to know the source of them-- and ask my boss about
new stock that I can't identify. Like, most of the pressed glass is from
Czechloslovakia, most of the lampwork we have loose on the open container table
is Chinese or Indian, the furnace glass is from local artisans, the silver is
from Thailand, etc. I have to say "I don't know" occasionally, but less and
less often.

(PS: most of our dresses are from India....)
Kaytee
"Simplexities" on
www.eclecticbeadery.com