Power Trip

In article ,
pamsux (Rachel T.) wrote:


This makes good sense. This is power *for yourself* rather than power
*against him*.


Yes. For me. He's not worth spending that kind of energy against. What good
would it do me to rage against him after 7 years? None. And it feels good to
know that I let it go a long time ago.


Rachel T.
Damn right I'm good in bed. I can sleep for days.

It felt damn good the first time I saw a big black pickup and wondered
idly "Gee, I wonder how Charley is?". It took me a few minutes to
realize that my heart wasn't pounding, I hadn't followed up the thought
with "I hope his parachute failed", and in fact, I hadn't thought about
him in ages. I really felt nothing other than a mild curiosity about how
his life was going, sort of like one would feel about a former coworker,
if you happened to remember that they existed at all.

--
-Kalera
Mom of Juliet, 5, Sam, 3, and Ophelia, born 5/31/03
Wife of the incomparable Moxley of www.spaceplex.com
See us at www.strattonhome.org

In article ,
Kathy N-V wrote:

Okay, this has me wondering: now that we have the Internet and a whole bunch
of tools at our disposal, who here has looked up an old lover? Have you
contacted that lover? If so, what happened.

I looked up the first love of my life several years ago, asked if he
wanted to have a cup of tea and catch up, just for the heck of it. He
wasn't interested, which hurt my feelings slightly. I had always admired
him, as I was very young during our affair, and he was much older. I
wanted to show him what kind of person I'd grown into, and I suppose I
wanted him to approve.

The place where the Boy Who Broke My Heart (BWBMH) went to work for, in
Illinois, has kind of an online events and gossip page, so I checked
that out more or less obsessively after he moved away, for a couple
months. Eventually I lost interest, thankfully!

The only person I wish I could find, but can't, is my first ex-husband,
who was also my first boyfriend. He was a nice but really troubled guy,
and a heroin junkie. I'd really love it if I could get in contact with
him, but only if he's OK. I think it would break my heart if I found out
he was still a junkie, or worse.

--
-Kalera
Mom of Juliet, 5, Sam, 3, and Ophelia, born 5/31/03
Wife of the incomparable Moxley of www.spaceplex.com
See us at www.strattonhome.org

I had a seminar in Nome and called up a boy I met when I was 16. We had
lunch, on my 50th birthday, no less. But no new tech involved. I asked
about him at the front desk. ("You mean Homer with those gorgeous eyes?").
He was still the slimgorgeous guy I met. He was still my most compatible
type -- intuitive rational. My instincts as a young person were good. He
had married a couple vivacious good looking but insecure women though, and
the women in his life were very possessive and omewhat controlling. But he
had done well in life, both in white man's world and in village life. And
had great respect for the Native artists, and those who chose a subsistance
lifestyle, even though he had chosen a different kind of success for
himself. (He had described himself as a halfbreed when we were teenagers).
I still admire him 37 years later.

Tina



"Kathy N-V" wrote in message
.com...
Okay, this has me wondering: now that we have the Internet and a whole
bunch
of tools at our disposal, who here has looked up an old lover? Have you
contacted that lover? If so, what happened.

My story is dull: I looked him up online, Discovered that he grew up to be
ugly and bald and is a cop. (Bald wouldn't bother me if the rest of the
package didn't turn out so yucky) He's a "lay minister" to some heavy
duty
evangelical church in Washington DC and has a crapload of kids. (Greater
than
6 counts as a crapload to me)

His wife looks just like me, or rather, the way I could have been expected
to
grow up from his time with me. I am unrecognizable from my college days:
my
face was reconstructed after the car accident, and my health has made me
less
attractive than I otherwise would be. Surprisingly, I was totally flat
chested until I was in my early twenties, so that wouldn't be a good
identifying factor, either.

I recognized his face, was glad that we were together while he was still
good
looking and not a religious fanatic and/or cop, shut the web page and went
no
further. If he's found me, he's made no effort to contact me, Thank God.

Kathy N-V

I think living well frees you from feeling as if you want or need
revenge. Why waste energy on resentment when life is really
satisfying?

Deirdre

On Fri, 11 Jul 2003 09:01:41 -0700, "Karen_AZ"
wrote:

However,
living well and making your own happiness, despite that negativity, is a
very very good thing.

On Fri, 11 Jul 2003 16:32:35 GMT, Deirdre S.
wrote:

I think living well frees you from feeling as if you want or need
revenge. Why waste energy on resentment when life is really
satisfying?

Deirdre

Too true. I don't have the energy to waste on hate and
resentment. And I wouldn't waste it if I did! There are
so many nicer places to use it.

Barbara
Dream Master
www.dreamweaverstudio.com

"We've got two lives, one we're given,
the other one we make."
Mary Chapin Carpenter