Rules to Enter Texas

Subject: Rules to Enter Texas




These apply to every person as they enter Texas. Learn 'em & remember 'em.
East Coast and California-types should pay particular attention!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup
truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get the hell out of the way.

3. Those are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They
smell like money to us. Get over it. You don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go
east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.

5. So what if every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak. Or order
the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three! main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and Pace Picante
Sauce. Oh, yeah .... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that
stuff you eat... It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San
Antonio....and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over
ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck and have pretty long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks,
and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the
fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech. They come outta there with an education, plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they
come home for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines and Air Force than any
other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get your butt
whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas
can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it
without Texas."





From Babs
Queen of Hot Stuff and a Native Texan

Gosh Dang It! I always knew'd I was a Texan - just in the wrong country!

--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under) (who also loves
driving a pick-up - called a Ute (short for utility) here, adores chili (the
hotter the better), waves at everyone, and just looooooves a good steak)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html

"David & Barbara Schmidt" wrote in message
...
Subject: Rules to Enter Texas




These apply to every person as they enter Texas. Learn 'em & remember 'em.
East Coast and California-types should pay particular attention!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup
truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get the hell out of the way.

3. Those are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They
smell like money to us. Get over it. You don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go
east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.

5. So what if every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your
ear
at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak. Or
order
the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three! main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and Pace Picante
Sauce. Oh, yeah .... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that
stuff you eat... It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San
Antonio....and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over
ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck and have pretty long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks,
and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks
the
fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech. They come outta there with an education,
plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when
they
come home for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines and Air Force than any
other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get your butt
whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas
can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it
without Texas."





From Babs
Queen of Hot Stuff and a Native Texan

Not very laid back in Texas, are you.
Diana

--
Queen of FAQs
Royal Peace Maker
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44

"David & Barbara Schmidt" wrote in message
...
Subject: Rules to Enter Texas




These apply to every person as they enter Texas. Learn 'em & remember 'em.
East Coast and California-types should pay particular attention!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup
truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get the hell out of the way.

3. Those are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They
smell like money to us. Get over it. You don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go
east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.

5. So what if every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your
ear
at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak. Or
order
the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three! main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and Pace Picante
Sauce. Oh, yeah .... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that
stuff you eat... It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San
Antonio....and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over
ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck and have pretty long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks,
and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks
the
fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech. They come outta there with an education,
plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when
they
come home for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines and Air Force than any
other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get your butt
whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas
can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it
without Texas."





From Babs
Queen of Hot Stuff and a Native Texan

No. 15 should read Texas A&M. Go AGGIES

--
-------------
Thou shalt use thine scraps to makes quilts for charity, so that those less
fortunate may know the joy of sleeping beneath a quilt.

Howdy!
I just wonder who makes up that kind of crap.

And they didn't even mention the Quilt Shops!

Ragmop/Sandy
"Diana Curtis" wrote in message
...
Not very laid back in Texas, are you.
Diana

--
Queen of FAQs
Royal Peace Maker
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44

"David & Barbara Schmidt" wrote in message
...
Subject: Rules to Enter Texas




These apply to every person as they enter Texas. Learn 'em & remember
'em.
East Coast and California-types should pay particular attention!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup
truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to
get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get the hell out of the way.

3. Those are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you.
They
smell like money to us. Get over it. You don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go
east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.

5. So what if every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your
ear
at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak. Or
order
the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three! main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and Pace
Picante
Sauce. Oh, yeah .... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call
that
stuff you eat... It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San
Antonio....and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over
ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how
to
shoot, drive a truck and have pretty long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks,
and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks
the
fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech. They come outta there with an education,
plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when
they
come home for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines and Air Force than any
other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get your
butt
whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:
"Texas
can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make
it
without Texas."





From Babs
Queen of Hot Stuff and a Native Texan

Thank you Babs, forwarded to my Texas kin. Polly

"Carl Ebert" wrote in message
news:CG83c.979$uh.544@fed1read02...
No. 15 should read Texas A&M. Go AGGIES

--
-------------
Thou shalt use thine scraps to makes quilts for charity, so that those
less
fortunate may know the joy of sleeping beneath a quilt.

I know! That alone would have made you Texans seem all warm and fuzzy.
Hmmph.. they could have mentioned Hobbs, too. Its made in Texas you know.
;-)
Diana

--
Queen of FAQs
Royal Peace Maker
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44
" Ellison" wrote in message
m...
Howdy!
I just wonder who makes up that kind of crap.

And they didn't even mention the Quilt Shops!

Ragmop/Sandy
"Diana Curtis" wrote in message
...
Not very laid back in Texas, are you.
Diana

--
Queen of FAQs
Royal Peace Maker
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44

"David & Barbara Schmidt" wrote in message
...
Subject: Rules to Enter Texas




These apply to every person as they enter Texas. Learn 'em & remember
'em.
East Coast and California-types should pay particular attention!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup
truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to
get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get the hell out of the way.

3. Those are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you.
They
smell like money to us. Get over it. You don't like it? I-20 and I-10
go
east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.

5. So what if every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to
your
ear
at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's
available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone, regardless of
age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak. Or
order
the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three! main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and Pace
Picante
Sauce. Oh, yeah .... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call
that
stuff you eat... It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San
Antonio....and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served
over
ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how
to
shoot, drive a truck and have pretty long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks,
and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it
spooks
the
fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech. They come outta there with an education,
plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups
when
they
come home for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines and Air Force than
any
other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get your
butt
whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:
"Texas
can make it without the United States, but the United States can't
make
it
without Texas."





From Babs
Queen of Hot Stuff and a Native Texan

I'm a native Texan living in AZ and know those rules well. LOL

My favorite bumper sticker "Welcome to Texas, now go home"

Darlene

Okay, I admit it. I like Floridians. Especially their idea of formal
being formal shorts but I do miss Texas. Especially the food. And the
wave from the pick up trucks. And the tight jeans on some of them long
legged cowboys!

Ginny in North Florida, or south Georgia around here.

Oh I love the tight jeans on the long-legged cowboys!!

Smee

"ginmaru" wrote in message
m...
Okay, I admit it. I like Floridians. Especially their idea of formal
being formal shorts but I do miss Texas. Especially the food. And the
wave from the pick up trucks. And the tight jeans on some of them long
legged cowboys!

Ginny in North Florida, or south Georgia around here.