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#1
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Partly OT but I'm back
Well, we went to court on Monday and it was a disaster. We are still reeling
from the total injustice of it all. BM lied and whined and got snotty on the witness stand. She and her attorney put SD16 on the stand to testify against her father and were gonna do the same to SD13 but our attorney squelched that. No need to put the girls through that. We were stunned that they would do that to the girls. SD16 had obviously been primed as to what to say because she lied too. Then when the judge rendered his decision, he brought both girls back into the courtroom to witness him do a total unjustified character assassination on DH. It was horrible. He decided that we didn't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she was in contempt and that we just had to suck up the transportation costs that she owes us, then told DH that all summer was too long for visitation. Then proceeded to order DH to spend 6 hours with the girls and it was the girls choice if they wanted me along or not. Of course they didn't because BM has been pumping them for so long now about how much she hates me and that I am nothing to those girls and they don't have to be around me if they don't want. The thing is, I have (had) a really terrific relationship with SD16 and a pretty decent one with SD13. But in the past 8 months it has gone down the tube. Thanks to BM. The judge dismissed the charges. It was so obvious that he was bought off. I know that sounds harsh but you would have had to be there and witness it to understand. You would have known by the look on his face that BM and her attorney got to him. We had brought D along since she was a witness for us and we were in her car. Well DH was not gonna ask her to use her car and put us out on the street. So he took those girls and walked all over that dinky little town in 104 degree heat for 3 hours. He finally got fed up with their refusal to talk about the problems and their lies and told them to call BM to come pick them up. So we're done with them now. DH is totally out of their lives now except for the check he sends every month. He refuses to have anything more to do with them. No phone calls, no visitation, no anything. He's done. He has been stripped of his rights and trampled on by them and the judicial system for far too long now. So we're moving on with our lives. Now on to the quilty stuff. See it's not entirely about our life story. LOL. Sorry but I just had to throw that in there. I got the Army pillow panel quilt back from my SIL in time to take it with me for his birthday. The quilt turned out beautifully. OMGoodness. I was amazed. When DH opened it up, he looked at me in total disappointment. I was so scared and let down. But he said he loved it. Then finally days later, after we were back home he explained why the look. I had my SIL to embroider a label with a special thing on it and I told her to add her name and year since she helped me with it. I wanted her to have credit too. I had it fixed in the box so that the label was the first thing he saw. So when he saw her name he was puzzled and didn't understand why HER name was on it. His look was not disappointment the way I read it. It was just puzzlement. He LOVES the quilt and said that it is just WAAAAY to nice to use and wants to hang it on the wall. I will have to get him to help me take some pictures to post now. And that is how our week has gone. Hope you all have had a much better week than we have. But can someone please tell me again how to post pictures on the free sites. I think it was on yahoo that I posted SD's pic but I can't remember. Thanks. Mika |
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#2
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Very gentle
((((((((((((((((((((HUGS )))))))))))))))))))) for both of you. Butterfly Mika wrote: Well, we went to court on Monday and it was a disaster. We are still reeling from the total injustice of it all. BM lied and whined and got snotty on the witness stand. She and her attorney put SD16 on the stand to testify against her father and were gonna do the same to SD13 but our attorney squelched that. No need to put the girls through that. We were stunned that they would do that to the girls. SD16 had obviously been primed as to what to say because she lied too. Then when the judge rendered his decision, he brought both girls back into the courtroom to witness him do a total unjustified character assassination on DH. It was horrible. He decided that we didn't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she was in contempt and that we just had to suck up the transportation costs that she owes us, then told DH that all summer was too long for visitation. Then proceeded to order DH to spend 6 hours with the girls and it was the girls choice if they wanted me along or not. Of course they didn't because BM has been pumping them for so long now about how much she hates me and that I am nothing to those girls and they don't have to be around me if they don't want. The thing is, I have (had) a really terrific relationship with SD16 and a pretty decent one with SD13. But in the past 8 months it has gone down the tube. Thanks to BM. The judge dismissed the charges. It was so obvious that he was bought off. I know that sounds harsh but you would have had to be there and witness it to understand. You would have known by the look on his face that BM and her attorney got to him. We had brought D along since she was a witness for us and we were in her car. Well DH was not gonna ask her to use her car and put us out on the street. So he took those girls and walked all over that dinky little town in 104 degree heat for 3 hours. He finally got fed up with their refusal to talk about the problems and their lies and told them to call BM to come pick them up. So we're done with them now. DH is totally out of their lives now except for the check he sends every month. He refuses to have anything more to do with them. No phone calls, no visitation, no anything. He's done. He has been stripped of his rights and trampled on by them and the judicial system for far too long now. So we're moving on with our lives. Now on to the quilty stuff. See it's not entirely about our life story. LOL. Sorry but I just had to throw that in there. I got the Army pillow panel quilt back from my SIL in time to take it with me for his birthday. The quilt turned out beautifully. OMGoodness. I was amazed. When DH opened it up, he looked at me in total disappointment. I was so scared and let down. But he said he loved it. Then finally days later, after we were back home he explained why the look. I had my SIL to embroider a label with a special thing on it and I told her to add her name and year since she helped me with it. I wanted her to have credit too. I had it fixed in the box so that the label was the first thing he saw. So when he saw her name he was puzzled and didn't understand why HER name was on it. His look was not disappointment the way I read it. It was just puzzlement. He LOVES the quilt and said that it is just WAAAAY to nice to use and wants to hang it on the wall. I will have to get him to help me take some pictures to post now. And that is how our week has gone. Hope you all have had a much better week than we have. But can someone please tell me again how to post pictures on the free sites. I think it was on yahoo that I posted SD's pic but I can't remember. Thanks. Mika |
#3
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"Elena" wrote in message ... Biggg old hugs for such frustration. It's just awful to sit there and watch someone lie. Sometimes they have to miss something to realize what they had. It's good that you are making the decision to move on and have some happiness together. Webshots is a good spot for pictures, free too; and Yahoo is free. There's www.ofoto.com and www.picturetrail.com as well. Thanks Elena. I appreciate the support. I wanted to post pics of hubby's quilt but when I tried to use this 2bit camera it wouldn't work. I keep forgetting to have hubby look at it too. guess I should do that right now. lol. Mika |
#4
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"Maureen Wozniak" wrote in message ... Mika, how terrible. Those poor girls are obviously being used. But DH should keep trying. Eventually they'll grow up and it would be terrible if they didn't have there father any more. Just my 2 cents. Maureen, I completely understand what you're saying but the more we try to have a relationship with the girls the more BM alienates them. Yes they are being used. It is doing way more damage to them having us in their lives than it will for us to walk away. BM refuses to take responsibility for any decision making and forces the girls to make decisions for her. SD13 was sexually assaulted by BM's boyfriend in 2000 and BM made the girls make the decision about whether or not to file charges against him and whether or not they needed counseling. Then she made the girls make a death pact with her that if anyone told one of them would die. So we didn't find out about the assault until over 2 years later. It's that kind of crap that we have been dealing with and it's just not fair for the girls to be forced into the middle like that. It's not fair that they have to be without their father but they are making that decision by refusing to come for visitation. So we really have no other option. Besides we have been in and out of court since 2000 now and our finances are depleted over it. This doesn't even take into account the toll it has taken on our physical and mental health. There just aren't any resources left to keep trying with. Mika |
#5
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Hi Mika,
I sorta know what your dealing with. My daughters choose not to live with me because they get their way non-stop at their dad's. It's been this way since the beginning of time with them. He has no rules what-so-ever for them. It's been a JOB just to try and have a relationship with them because of HIM. If you want to talk just hit reply. Shelly "Mika" wrote in message et... "Maureen Wozniak" wrote in message ... Mika, how terrible. Those poor girls are obviously being used. But DH should keep trying. Eventually they'll grow up and it would be terrible if they didn't have there father any more. Just my 2 cents. Maureen, I completely understand what you're saying but the more we try to have a relationship with the girls the more BM alienates them. Yes they are being used. It is doing way more damage to them having us in their lives than it will for us to walk away. BM refuses to take responsibility for any decision making and forces the girls to make decisions for her. SD13 was sexually assaulted by BM's boyfriend in 2000 and BM made the girls make the decision about whether or not to file charges against him and whether or not they needed counseling. Then she made the girls make a death pact with her that if anyone told one of them would die. So we didn't find out about the assault until over 2 years later. It's that kind of crap that we have been dealing with and it's just not fair for the girls to be forced into the middle like that. It's not fair that they have to be without their father but they are making that decision by refusing to come for visitation. So we really have no other option. Besides we have been in and out of court since 2000 now and our finances are depleted over it. This doesn't even take into account the toll it has taken on our physical and mental health. There just aren't any resources left to keep trying with. Mika --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.514 / Virus Database: 312 - Release Date: 8/28/03 |
#6
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Oh, Mika. I'm so sorry! I'll pray that everything works out in the
end. Maybe once they're 18 and away from home and BM they can get the help they need. Maureen Mika wrote: "Maureen Wozniak" wrote in message ... Mika, how terrible. Those poor girls are obviously being used. But DH should keep trying. Eventually they'll grow up and it would be terrible if they didn't have there father any more. Just my 2 cents. Maureen, I completely understand what you're saying but the more we try to have a relationship with the girls the more BM alienates them. Yes they are being used. It is doing way more damage to them having us in their lives than it will for us to walk away. BM refuses to take responsibility for any decision making and forces the girls to make decisions for her. SD13 was sexually assaulted by BM's boyfriend in 2000 and BM made the girls make the decision about whether or not to file charges against him and whether or not they needed counseling. Then she made the girls make a death pact with her that if anyone told one of them would die. So we didn't find out about the assault until over 2 years later. It's that kind of crap that we have been dealing with and it's just not fair for the girls to be forced into the middle like that. It's not fair that they have to be without their father but they are making that decision by refusing to come for visitation. So we really have no other option. Besides we have been in and out of court since 2000 now and our finances are depleted over it. This doesn't even take into account the toll it has taken on our physical and mental health. There just aren't any resources left to keep trying with. Mika |
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