Help with inspiration

Hi, I have a problem I'm hoping some of you can put into perspective.
Or help me squash.

I have a lovely stash...not huge by any means, but mostly respectable.
I've collected pieces from various sources, but I typically don't have
much money to spend at a time and I tend to buy smaller pieces. I don't
have a lot of pieces over a yard and those that I do have of a larger
size are fairly specific fabrics, not blenders or easily blendable.

Now that's the details, and I've blamed the details for my problem. But
I suspect it's more something in my head than what's on my shelves.

I'm having a hard time working on anything lately. I just made a little
table runner, but I don't really like it. (I'll post pics later today
or tomorrow). Everytime I go to my sewing area to work, I can't find
anything that works. I look and look and find a pattern or project
--sometimes I think I will modify the pattern or project to make it
work for me -- but I can't find fabric for it. I gather a stack of
gorgeous fabric that works together, but I can't find a pattern
thatworks with the fabric. When I do start cutting something, as soon
as I start trying to assemble the first blocks, the colors look awful
together. The shapes are all wrong. Everything clashes.

To sum up, I just can't seem to go to my "sewing place." I've made
some postcards and stitched some little things that I tell myself I'll
put into "something" later. But the truth is I can't really make
anything work. It's a lot like writer's block.

Anybody got suggestions? I've read through every magazine I've got --
some twice. I've gone through all my books. I've web surfed. I've read
about inspiring quilters and exciting quilters. It all just depresses
me, LOL.

Ok, I've asked for your wisdom and advice. I hope you folks will pitch
in with your best and help me find a bit of light at the end of this
not-even-dark-but-mostly-dreary-and-boring tunnel.

Hugs,
Sunny

Hi Sunny
Taria had the same problem a few weeks ago. I don't know if she's got
her "groove" back yet or not..... sometimes it just takes a while. What
about just some dinner napkins or beverage coasters? Something easy and
mindless...... never fear - your creativity will return soon - with the
weather we're having here in Washington, maybe it went on a trip to the
Bahamas!

Patti in Seattle

Leave it. Walk away. Forget quilting. For a couple days, couple weeks,
just forget. Don't pick up a magazine, book, website, nothing (not us of
course!). Read a trashy "bosom heaver" (ie romance novel), watch soppy
Julia Roberts DVDs, play with animals or children (or both), walk along the
beach or through a forest/national park. Spoil yourself silly.

In a little while, ideas will start popping into your head. Draw them
quickly onto paper (not too much effort - whatever you have to hand will do)
and put them on your sewing table. Start to flick through a book/mag and
find the easiest pattern out (I've gone for plain squares with sashing).
Start to cut them and sew them up. Don't cut all the pieces at once - only
about a quarter. You will look at them and say "I don't know" and then
you'll get more ideas specific to that quilt (I have). Sketch them quickly.
Leave it. The urge will come. Follow it but don't rush.

Pretty soon you'll be back to norman. Promise.

Hugs

--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html (takes awhile to load)
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos (same as website but
quicker)
"Sunny" wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi, I have a problem I'm hoping some of you can put into perspective.
Or help me squash.

I have a lovely stash...not huge by any means, but mostly respectable.
I've collected pieces from various sources, but I typically don't have
much money to spend at a time and I tend to buy smaller pieces. I don't
have a lot of pieces over a yard and those that I do have of a larger
size are fairly specific fabrics, not blenders or easily blendable.

Now that's the details, and I've blamed the details for my problem. But
I suspect it's more something in my head than what's on my shelves.

I'm having a hard time working on anything lately. I just made a little
table runner, but I don't really like it. (I'll post pics later today
or tomorrow). Everytime I go to my sewing area to work, I can't find
anything that works. I look and look and find a pattern or project
--sometimes I think I will modify the pattern or project to make it
work for me -- but I can't find fabric for it. I gather a stack of
gorgeous fabric that works together, but I can't find a pattern
thatworks with the fabric. When I do start cutting something, as soon
as I start trying to assemble the first blocks, the colors look awful
together. The shapes are all wrong. Everything clashes.

To sum up, I just can't seem to go to my "sewing place." I've made
some postcards and stitched some little things that I tell myself I'll
put into "something" later. But the truth is I can't really make
anything work. It's a lot like writer's block.

Anybody got suggestions? I've read through every magazine I've got --
some twice. I've gone through all my books. I've web surfed. I've read
about inspiring quilters and exciting quilters. It all just depresses
me, LOL.

Ok, I've asked for your wisdom and advice. I hope you folks will pitch
in with your best and help me find a bit of light at the end of this
not-even-dark-but-mostly-dreary-and-boring tunnel.

Hugs,
Sunny

Sharon, what marvelous advice- "Pretty soon you'll be back to norman. "
Can you send Norman this way when you're finished with him? ROFLOL

I tend to freeze up for another reason. I'm a perfectionist (wish I
was NOT) I have all these wonderful ideas to make amazing quilts. I
can't make them. I don't have the artisitic ability, the color sense
or the stick-to-it-ness. Yeah, I know..... I make decent quilts, and
sometimes I make a really nice quilt, but I cannot make the amazing
quilts that I *want* to make. It causes me to start a project, get
discouraged, and then try something else. Sometimes I freeze up before
I even really get started. That's when I leave my sewing for a while-
sometimes a LONG while. When I feel ready then I go back to it. Some
quilts take years..... but I do finish one every now and then. VBG Ya
just can't force it. Let yourself have some time and space. The Muse
*will* return and you can jump back in with both feet when you are
ready.

Hugs,

Leslie & The Furbabies in iced in MO.

Sharon Harper wrote:
Leave it. Walk away. Forget quilting. For a couple days, couple weeks,
just forget. Don't pick up a magazine, book, website, nothing (not us of
course!). Read a trashy "bosom heaver" (ie romance novel), watch soppy
Julia Roberts DVDs, play with animals or children (or both), walk along the
beach or through a forest/national park. Spoil yourself silly.

In a little while, ideas will start popping into your head. Draw them
quickly onto paper (not too much effort - whatever you have to hand will do)
and put them on your sewing table. Start to flick through a book/mag and
find the easiest pattern out (I've gone for plain squares with sashing).
Start to cut them and sew them up. Don't cut all the pieces at once - only
about a quarter. You will look at them and say "I don't know" and then
you'll get more ideas specific to that quilt (I have). Sketch them quickly.
Leave it. The urge will come. Follow it but don't rush.

Pretty soon you'll be back to norman. Promise.

Hugs

--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html (takes awhile to load)
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos (same as website but
quicker)
"Sunny" wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi, I have a problem I'm hoping some of you can put into perspective.
Or help me squash.

I have a lovely stash...not huge by any means, but mostly respectable.
I've collected pieces from various sources, but I typically don't have
much money to spend at a time and I tend to buy smaller pieces. I don't
have a lot of pieces over a yard and those that I do have of a larger
size are fairly specific fabrics, not blenders or easily blendable.

Now that's the details, and I've blamed the details for my problem. But
I suspect it's more something in my head than what's on my shelves.

I'm having a hard time working on anything lately. I just made a little
table runner, but I don't really like it. (I'll post pics later today
or tomorrow). Everytime I go to my sewing area to work, I can't find
anything that works. I look and look and find a pattern or project
--sometimes I think I will modify the pattern or project to make it
work for me -- but I can't find fabric for it. I gather a stack of
gorgeous fabric that works together, but I can't find a pattern
thatworks with the fabric. When I do start cutting something, as soon
as I start trying to assemble the first blocks, the colors look awful
together. The shapes are all wrong. Everything clashes.

To sum up, I just can't seem to go to my "sewing place." I've made
some postcards and stitched some little things that I tell myself I'll
put into "something" later. But the truth is I can't really make
anything work. It's a lot like writer's block.

Anybody got suggestions? I've read through every magazine I've got --
some twice. I've gone through all my books. I've web surfed. I've read
about inspiring quilters and exciting quilters. It all just depresses
me, LOL.

Ok, I've asked for your wisdom and advice. I hope you folks will pitch
in with your best and help me find a bit of light at the end of this
not-even-dark-but-mostly-dreary-and-boring tunnel.

Hugs,
Sunny

Norman is pretty special. He doesn't occur very often down here. Actually
I can't take credit for that wonderful saying - those of you with young kids
will know it comes from the Rugrats. They have some amazing sayings (most
of which are true) and I still love sitting down to watch them. Don't like
Rugrats grown Up but I adore the young ones. I am a mix of mostly Chucky
with a bit of Phil and Lil thrown in. I'm not brave like Tommy and I'm most
definitely not Angelica.

--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html (takes awhile to load)
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos (same as website but
quicker)
"Leslie & The Furbabies in MO." wrote in message
ups.com...
Sharon, what marvelous advice- "Pretty soon you'll be back to norman. "
Can you send Norman this way when you're finished with him? ROFLOL

I tend to freeze up for another reason. I'm a perfectionist (wish I
was NOT) I have all these wonderful ideas to make amazing quilts. I
can't make them. I don't have the artisitic ability, the color sense
or the stick-to-it-ness. Yeah, I know..... I make decent quilts, and
sometimes I make a really nice quilt, but I cannot make the amazing
quilts that I *want* to make. It causes me to start a project, get
discouraged, and then try something else. Sometimes I freeze up before
I even really get started. That's when I leave my sewing for a while-
sometimes a LONG while. When I feel ready then I go back to it. Some
quilts take years..... but I do finish one every now and then. VBG Ya
just can't force it. Let yourself have some time and space. The Muse
*will* return and you can jump back in with both feet when you are
ready.

Hugs,

Leslie & The Furbabies in iced in MO.

Sharon Harper wrote:
Leave it. Walk away. Forget quilting. For a couple days, couple weeks,
just forget. Don't pick up a magazine, book, website, nothing (not us of
course!). Read a trashy "bosom heaver" (ie romance novel), watch soppy
Julia Roberts DVDs, play with animals or children (or both), walk along
the
beach or through a forest/national park. Spoil yourself silly.

In a little while, ideas will start popping into your head. Draw them
quickly onto paper (not too much effort - whatever you have to hand will
do)
and put them on your sewing table. Start to flick through a book/mag and
find the easiest pattern out (I've gone for plain squares with sashing).
Start to cut them and sew them up. Don't cut all the pieces at once -
only
about a quarter. You will look at them and say "I don't know" and then
you'll get more ideas specific to that quilt (I have). Sketch them
quickly.
Leave it. The urge will come. Follow it but don't rush.

Pretty soon you'll be back to norman. Promise.

Hugs

--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html (takes awhile to load)
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos (same as website but
quicker)
"Sunny" wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi, I have a problem I'm hoping some of you can put into perspective.
Or help me squash.

I have a lovely stash...not huge by any means, but mostly respectable.
I've collected pieces from various sources, but I typically don't have
much money to spend at a time and I tend to buy smaller pieces. I don't
have a lot of pieces over a yard and those that I do have of a larger
size are fairly specific fabrics, not blenders or easily blendable.

Now that's the details, and I've blamed the details for my problem. But
I suspect it's more something in my head than what's on my shelves.

I'm having a hard time working on anything lately. I just made a little
table runner, but I don't really like it. (I'll post pics later today
or tomorrow). Everytime I go to my sewing area to work, I can't find
anything that works. I look and look and find a pattern or project
--sometimes I think I will modify the pattern or project to make it
work for me -- but I can't find fabric for it. I gather a stack of
gorgeous fabric that works together, but I can't find a pattern
thatworks with the fabric. When I do start cutting something, as soon
as I start trying to assemble the first blocks, the colors look awful
together. The shapes are all wrong. Everything clashes.

To sum up, I just can't seem to go to my "sewing place." I've made
some postcards and stitched some little things that I tell myself I'll
put into "something" later. But the truth is I can't really make
anything work. It's a lot like writer's block.

Anybody got suggestions? I've read through every magazine I've got --
some twice. I've gone through all my books. I've web surfed. I've read
about inspiring quilters and exciting quilters. It all just depresses
me, LOL.

Ok, I've asked for your wisdom and advice. I hope you folks will pitch
in with your best and help me find a bit of light at the end of this
not-even-dark-but-mostly-dreary-and-boring tunnel.

Hugs,
Sunny

Thanks for the good words. Sharon, your suggestions are good and sound
and ultimately I know that's what will bring me back. Leslie, I share
those same frustrations with you. I know that's a huge part of my
problem. I get so discouraged. I look at the amazing work in the
quilting shows and magazines and in my head I can do work like that,
then I read the bios and always it's "using my engineeering background"
and "after my master's degree in art" and "as a graphic artist" and
that sort of thing. These people are artists, trained and experienced.
I have zero artistic training and not likely to get any. And I'm not a
natural talent. I can mix colors in really fun ways f rom time to time,
but design totally escapes me.

I go to a round robin of art quilters. Those women are amazing and they
inspire me. Three are really incredible "paint" artists, two
professional. Several others have extensive artistic training. One who
I don't think was trained in art school is perhaps the most amazing.
She goes to seminars and training sessions with the really big name
quilt artists and then incorporates what she learns into her work. Wow.
Her work is gorgeous. And she is so generous about bringing information
back from her seminars. I feel like a fake in the midst of these
talented women

I find myself at the age of 50 terribly contemplative. All my life I
put my family first. My husband's career before mine. My children's
needs before my work or even my intellectual needs. I never "made my
mark." I worked and I did some good work. I wrote some good articles,
sounded real smart a couple times. But I never did anythign that will
be remembered after I'm gone (except give birth, LOL). These years,
with my boys grown, was to be the time of my life to dig in, put my
work first. To study and write and create. Well, illness put a stop to
that. Now I hesitate to take classes because I know I'll never be able
to go enough to make it work. I find that I am terribly self-pitying. I
not only admire the amazing people around me creating incredible, prize
winning quilts, I envy them and covet their abilities. But at my point
in life, it's unlikely that I'll attain such a level. Especially
considering the dearth of energy I have and the frequent life
interruptions -- the days I spend in pain unable to read, watch, think.
The days when I am unbearably confused.

Oh I'm sorry. Apologies for letting my self-pity get to me and for
blurting way, way too much information. LOL.

I will get back to work at some point. I'm moving my quilting area from
the basement room into my very own room -- 11 x 12 with my stash sauna
acting as a closet. It's been the "computer" room and I've had to step
over people to get to the sauna, which has resulted in taking too much
out and now all is in pandemonium. I can't find anything. So I will
spend this week cleaning, straightening, finding forgotten things. And
next week for the very first time I'll have "my very own room". I just
hope I can recall my creativity from the Bahamas in time to make the
move worthwhile.

Thanks and hugs for the help,
Sunny

And yes, I think it's possible that my creativity has taken a hike to
the Bahamas.
Patti S wrote:
Hi Sunny
Taria had the same problem a few weeks ago. I don't know if she's got
her "groove" back yet or not..... sometimes it just takes a while. What
about just some dinner napkins or beverage coasters? Something easy and
mindless...... never fear - your creativity will return soon - with the
weather we're having here in Washington, maybe it went on a trip to the
Bahamas!

Patti in Seattle

(((((((((((((Sunny)))))))))))))

It sounds from your post that we are very much in the same frame of mind at
the mo. That's why I have decided to make 2007 "The Year of Me". Yep
that's what I've decided and so far I've taken little baby steps towards it.
For instance, and this may shock some of you, I am horribly, totally,
incomprehensibly addicted to Days of Our Lives and The Bold and the
Beautiful. True. During this forced break from work (ie schoolholidays) I
have made time to watch both shows, religiously, each day - well almost.
And I love it. The kids know it and respect it. Husband makes fun of it.
But it's "me" time.

I've also decided that the Year of Me is when I become fitter and learn to
love Me more. On this resolution I'm at the Commando Crawl stage. Haven't
quite managed to give myself the time but I'm getting there.

Let's do it together Sunny - baby steps and encouragement all the way



--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html (takes awhile to load)
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos (same as website but
quicker)
"Sunny" wrote in message
ps.com...
Thanks for the good words. Sharon, your suggestions are good and sound
and ultimately I know that's what will bring me back. Leslie, I share
those same frustrations with you. I know that's a huge part of my
problem. I get so discouraged. I look at the amazing work in the
quilting shows and magazines and in my head I can do work like that,
then I read the bios and always it's "using my engineeering background"
and "after my master's degree in art" and "as a graphic artist" and
that sort of thing. These people are artists, trained and experienced.
I have zero artistic training and not likely to get any. And I'm not a
natural talent. I can mix colors in really fun ways f rom time to time,
but design totally escapes me.

I go to a round robin of art quilters. Those women are amazing and they
inspire me. Three are really incredible "paint" artists, two
professional. Several others have extensive artistic training. One who
I don't think was trained in art school is perhaps the most amazing.
She goes to seminars and training sessions with the really big name
quilt artists and then incorporates what she learns into her work. Wow.
Her work is gorgeous. And she is so generous about bringing information
back from her seminars. I feel like a fake in the midst of these
talented women

I find myself at the age of 50 terribly contemplative. All my life I
put my family first. My husband's career before mine. My children's
needs before my work or even my intellectual needs. I never "made my
mark." I worked and I did some good work. I wrote some good articles,
sounded real smart a couple times. But I never did anythign that will
be remembered after I'm gone (except give birth, LOL). These years,
with my boys grown, was to be the time of my life to dig in, put my
work first. To study and write and create. Well, illness put a stop to
that. Now I hesitate to take classes because I know I'll never be able
to go enough to make it work. I find that I am terribly self-pitying. I
not only admire the amazing people around me creating incredible, prize
winning quilts, I envy them and covet their abilities. But at my point
in life, it's unlikely that I'll attain such a level. Especially
considering the dearth of energy I have and the frequent life
interruptions -- the days I spend in pain unable to read, watch, think.
The days when I am unbearably confused.

Oh I'm sorry. Apologies for letting my self-pity get to me and for
blurting way, way too much information. LOL.

I will get back to work at some point. I'm moving my quilting area from
the basement room into my very own room -- 11 x 12 with my stash sauna
acting as a closet. It's been the "computer" room and I've had to step
over people to get to the sauna, which has resulted in taking too much
out and now all is in pandemonium. I can't find anything. So I will
spend this week cleaning, straightening, finding forgotten things. And
next week for the very first time I'll have "my very own room". I just
hope I can recall my creativity from the Bahamas in time to make the
move worthwhile.

Thanks and hugs for the help,
Sunny

And yes, I think it's possible that my creativity has taken a hike to
the Bahamas.
Patti S wrote:
Hi Sunny
Taria had the same problem a few weeks ago. I don't know if she's got
her "groove" back yet or not..... sometimes it just takes a while. What
about just some dinner napkins or beverage coasters? Something easy and
mindless...... never fear - your creativity will return soon - with the
weather we're having here in Washington, maybe it went on a trip to the
Bahamas!

Patti in Seattle

Sounds like the next time you go fabric shopping, you should get some
blenders!

To get out of a rut and practice with fabric selection, why not buy a small
kit, baby or twin size maybe, anything as long as you like it. Challenge
yourself to swap out one of the fabric selections in the kit, using either
something in your stash or buying a new piece.

Or -Find a friend who will play, and choose a simple design using a light, a
medium and a dark (double Irish chain maybe). The challenge is to swap a
piece of fabric, then use your friend's fabric to set the color scheme for
your quilt. Afterwards, you can enjoy seeing how different they look.
Roberta in D

"Sunny" schrieb im Newsbeitrag
ups.com...
Hi, I have a problem I'm hoping some of you can put into perspective.
Or help me squash.

I have a lovely stash...not huge by any means, but mostly respectable.
I've collected pieces from various sources, but I typically don't have
much money to spend at a time and I tend to buy smaller pieces. I don't
have a lot of pieces over a yard and those that I do have of a larger
size are fairly specific fabrics, not blenders or easily blendable.

Now that's the details, and I've blamed the details for my problem. But
I suspect it's more something in my head than what's on my shelves.

I'm having a hard time working on anything lately. I just made a little
table runner, but I don't really like it. (I'll post pics later today
or tomorrow). Everytime I go to my sewing area to work, I can't find
anything that works. I look and look and find a pattern or project
--sometimes I think I will modify the pattern or project to make it
work for me -- but I can't find fabric for it. I gather a stack of
gorgeous fabric that works together, but I can't find a pattern
thatworks with the fabric. When I do start cutting something, as soon
as I start trying to assemble the first blocks, the colors look awful
together. The shapes are all wrong. Everything clashes.

To sum up, I just can't seem to go to my "sewing place." I've made
some postcards and stitched some little things that I tell myself I'll
put into "something" later. But the truth is I can't really make
anything work. It's a lot like writer's block.

Anybody got suggestions? I've read through every magazine I've got --
some twice. I've gone through all my books. I've web surfed. I've read
about inspiring quilters and exciting quilters. It all just depresses
me, LOL.

Ok, I've asked for your wisdom and advice. I hope you folks will pitch
in with your best and help me find a bit of light at the end of this
not-even-dark-but-mostly-dreary-and-boring tunnel.

Hugs,
Sunny

You sound like you may have Fibro and those of us that do --you have our
empathy. Not our sympathy--that's Moms work--but empathy....knowing SOMEDAY
you will get back to it. Just give it TIME and give YOURSELF time.
I KNOW it's hard, BTDT, more than once. Some days you can't even turn a mag
page cause it hurts tooo much.

Once we get resettled, I'll have DS put our website back up and you can see
my 10 Minute Quilt...... I could only sit/stand/work for 10 min before I had
to go lie down again --soooooooooo I made a quilt--10 min and then go
rest--get up--do something else for 10 min and then rest. I NEVER would have
finished if it hadn't been for a few gals on this NG. Even made dinner 10
min at a time...peeled taters-go lie down--get back up-- chop taters, go
lie down, get back up put taters on--go sit in the recliner whilst it
cooked...fortunately my guys helped make the rest of dinner.

Now I am waiting for my Butterfly Studio to be done and I SHOULD be able to
sew once again..short periods and working my way up. My goal is to obtain 20
FULL MINUTES without having to take a break...but I *WILL* do it. In the
meantime, I'm perusing mags, quilting books from the library, reading here,
and FINALLY have QNN to where it'll work quite well on my compie. Hard? I
never said it was easy and if I alluded to such then my writing isn't that
good this AM and I apologize.

My Studio will have a chair to rest in..a TV to watch Simply Quilts and
other quilting tapes...so I will be 'thinking' quilts even when I'm resting
This didn't happen overnight--talk about YEARS of trail and error of what
will or won't work. You have to figure out your own schedule and even GET A
TIMER and set it--I did and it really helped tremendously so I wouldn't
overdo. Frustrated-you betcha.....but I decided it would NOT get me down

And it did, so I came here and got the 'moral support' that I needed and I
went back and tried again. Oh, some of the RCTQ'ers don't know how much they
have helped--just by BEING HERE......and some do cause I've been 'hounding
them' for their ideas and help and they gave it to me And I'm grateful

Enuf for now. HTH a least a lil bit.

Cyberhugs and Butterfly Kisses

Butterfly




"Sunny" wrote in message
ps.com...
Thanks for the good words. Sharon, your suggestions are good and sound
and ultimately I know that's what will bring me back. Leslie, I share
those same frustrations with you. I know that's a huge part of my
problem. I get so discouraged. I look at the amazing work in the
quilting shows and magazines and in my head I can do work like that,
then I read the bios and always it's "using my engineeering background"
and "after my master's degree in art" and "as a graphic artist" and
that sort of thing. These people are artists, trained and experienced.
I have zero artistic training and not likely to get any. And I'm not a
natural talent. I can mix colors in really fun ways f rom time to time,
but design totally escapes me.

I go to a round robin of art quilters. Those women are amazing and they
inspire me. Three are really incredible "paint" artists, two
professional. Several others have extensive artistic training. One who
I don't think was trained in art school is perhaps the most amazing.
She goes to seminars and training sessions with the really big name
quilt artists and then incorporates what she learns into her work. Wow.
Her work is gorgeous. And she is so generous about bringing information
back from her seminars. I feel like a fake in the midst of these
talented women

I find myself at the age of 50 terribly contemplative. All my life I
put my family first. My husband's career before mine. My children's
needs before my work or even my intellectual needs. I never "made my
mark." I worked and I did some good work. I wrote some good articles,
sounded real smart a couple times. But I never did anythign that will
be remembered after I'm gone (except give birth, LOL). These years,
with my boys grown, was to be the time of my life to dig in, put my
work first. To study and write and create. Well, illness put a stop to
that. Now I hesitate to take classes because I know I'll never be able
to go enough to make it work. I find that I am terribly self-pitying. I
not only admire the amazing people around me creating incredible, prize
winning quilts, I envy them and covet their abilities. But at my point
in life, it's unlikely that I'll attain such a level. Especially
considering the dearth of energy I have and the frequent life
interruptions -- the days I spend in pain unable to read, watch, think.
The days when I am unbearably confused.

Oh I'm sorry. Apologies for letting my self-pity get to me and for
blurting way, way too much information. LOL.

I will get back to work at some point. I'm moving my quilting area from
the basement room into my very own room -- 11 x 12 with my stash sauna
acting as a closet. It's been the "computer" room and I've had to step
over people to get to the sauna, which has resulted in taking too much
out and now all is in pandemonium. I can't find anything. So I will
spend this week cleaning, straightening, finding forgotten things. And
next week for the very first time I'll have "my very own room". I just
hope I can recall my creativity from the Bahamas in time to make the
move worthwhile.

Thanks and hugs for the help,
Sunny

And yes, I think it's possible that my creativity has taken a hike to
the Bahamas.
Patti S wrote:
Hi Sunny
Taria had the same problem a few weeks ago. I don't know if she's got
her "groove" back yet or not..... sometimes it just takes a while. What
about just some dinner napkins or beverage coasters? Something easy and
mindless...... never fear - your creativity will return soon - with the
weather we're having here in Washington, maybe it went on a trip to the
Bahamas!

Patti in Seattle

Butterfly and Jacqueline,
Thank you for those eloquent words and execellant advice. I don't have
fibro. I do have an autoimmune disease called Sjogren's Syndrome. If
anyone is interested in learning more about it, contact me privately
and I will explain. It's very like lupus with a few interesting twists
and very unknown. I'd never heard of it until somebody said I have it.

And I agree about the support groups -- incredible support and
information but it doesn't work to make my illness into my identity.

I usually keep a pretty good hold on things. But when I'm overwhelmed
then it all goes kersplat, LOL.

The angst over my lack of skills and talent is silly, but it's a thing
apart (usually) from being ill. I ache to make something amazing.
Polly, I got your message and yes, that is an amazing thing to make and
is the top of my list. Thank you for incredible perspective.

Right now, I am just a silly woman looking back up the road, the way
I've travelled, and farther down the road, the way I'm headed, and
thinking altogether too much of myself. I promise, I will get back to
work, even if it's not a prize winning epic of a quilt.

Hugs to all of you -- and special soft hugs to the fibro sisters
Sunny