ot-some folks who have real tech problems!

Here are some tech help call centre phone calls to believe it or not!
Enjoy, jennellh.





Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get
through; can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket
and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number
for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
"If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I
have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in
Scotland "
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the
number on."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your
screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized
that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I
get my file back again?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Saved the best for last!


This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I
think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true
story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say
the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help
you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of
a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like
now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when
I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around
the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it
won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that
looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor
and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell
me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not
just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Well, it' s not because I don't have the
right angle -- it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the
only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay,
we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a
computer!!!"

In article
,
jennellh wrote:

Here are some tech help call centre phone calls to believe it or not!
Enjoy, jennellh.

Jennell, these were wonderful! I really liked the steering wheel one,
but I *loved* that last one! LOL!






Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get
through; can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket
and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number
for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
"If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I
have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in
Scotland "
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the
number on."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your
screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized
that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I
get my file back again?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Saved the best for last!


This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I
think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true
story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say
the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help
you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of
a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like
now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when
I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around
the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it
won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that
looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor
and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell
me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not
just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Well, it' s not because I don't have the
right angle -- it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the
only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay,
we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a
computer!!!"




--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
sw.foster1 (at) gmail (dot) com (remove/change the obvious)
http://www.sandymike.net

"jennellh" wrote in message
...


Here are some tech help call centre phone calls to believe it or not!
Enjoy, jennellh.

hehehehe......those were good. I have a friend who is "personal" on-call
support tech for his eldest sister. His favorite story is when she called to
say her keyboard was broken. He asked why she thought the keyboard was
broken........"Because when I type in my password all I get are those little
star things."

~sigh~
Val

That's another good one Val. We have a family friend who says that
his computer "doesn't do things like that" - he was wondering what the
origins were of his 5th grandchild's name (Ethan) - I explained how he
could search using his computer. I showed him one of the search
result pages and then he wanted to know about the names of the other 4
kids - he still insists that his computer doesn't do things like
that. It will take some work to get him on track, jennellh.


On Jan 10, 4:22*pm, "Val" wrote:
"jennellh" wrote in message

...



Here are some tech help call centre phone calls to believe it or not!
Enjoy, jennellh.

hehehehe......those were good. *I have a friend who is "personal" on-call
support tech for his eldest sister. His favorite story is when she called to
say her keyboard was broken. He asked why she thought the keyboard was
broken........"Because when I type in my password all I get are those little
star things."

~sigh~
Val