The Diplomatic Solution

I think your husband is right.... that would be my plan as well.

Mary

"dogsnus" wrote in message
...
My SIL, the one who gave me all the free fabric called
all excited with an idea she wants to do for me on The Baby
quilt. It's a grand idea and I like it: She wants to use
her Bernina to make Raggedy Ann and Andy's and red teddybears
on 10" white squares.


The problem is, she wants me to put my current baby quilt aside
and worry about it later and use her idea exclusively.
Hmmm...

2 problems with that_ idea:

1) She didn't listen to me when I said I wanted this one to
be entirely from me from start to finish and very special because
this is my first natural grandchild coming.
At first,I was at first feeling a bit stubborn, as if she
were taking over my project, but I realized that's stupid
and a waste of energy and emotion to feel like that.


2) While an exceptional quilter, she's very slow and unable
to conform to any kind of timeline. It's taken her almost a year
to get my step-daughter's quilt finished and two weeks later
after getting a box from me, she still hasn't mailed it and
the baby is a month old now. She's also working on a beautiful puff
quilt for another friend and that baby is now 6 months old.
My goal(s) are to get the quilt to the expectant parents
before the baby is born.
I want them to have time to play with it, arrange the
empty nursery and dream a little before they get busy
with a new infant in thier lives.

We're very different types of people that can find lots
in common in lots of areas, but I'm much more goal oriented
while she's the true definition of a dreamer and putterer.



My husband and I kind of kicked it around and his solution
seemed the most diplomatic. I'm going to contine on with my
plans as normal and just not mention it to her unless she asks,
and also work with her on her idea. The quilt of my design
will have a little tag on it stating it's from Grandma
and the one we collaberate on will say it's from Grandma
AND Great-Auntie.
My grand-daughter will get two quilts instead of one
and at least one of those quilts will be on my timeline.
I don't know how other people would have handled this, but
I'm a bit curious if anyone else ever had this type of situation
crop up.

And, my original baby quilt has been set temporarily aside
so I can take a complete break from it until I can decide
what design changes I'm going to make on it.

Terri

I think you have a very nice, very diplomatic solution. But, based on
history, you probably won't have to worry about it for a while, since you
may have to wait until the new baby graduates from college before you see
those Raggedy Ann squares.

Linda F.

You're doing the right thing. Anyhow, I can't think why she would be
offended if you want to make your own quilt in addition to the
collaboration.
Her idea sounds charming, but it's just too frustrating to have to wait for
somebody else to finish before you can start. I've worked with putterers
before. Best not to hold your breath. If she finishes her blocks, great. If
not, you'll still have a quilt for the baby.
Roberta in D

"dogsnus" wrote in message
...
My SIL, the one who gave me all the free fabric called
all excited with an idea she wants to do for me on The Baby
quilt. It's a grand idea and I like it: She wants to use
her Bernina to make Raggedy Ann and Andy's and red teddybears
on 10" white squares.


The problem is, she wants me to put my current baby quilt aside
and worry about it later and use her idea exclusively.
Hmmm...

2 problems with that_ idea:

1) She didn't listen to me when I said I wanted this one to
be entirely from me from start to finish and very special because
this is my first natural grandchild coming.
At first,I was at first feeling a bit stubborn, as if she
were taking over my project, but I realized that's stupid
and a waste of energy and emotion to feel like that.


2) While an exceptional quilter, she's very slow and unable
to conform to any kind of timeline. It's taken her almost a year
to get my step-daughter's quilt finished and two weeks later
after getting a box from me, she still hasn't mailed it and
the baby is a month old now. She's also working on a beautiful puff
quilt for another friend and that baby is now 6 months old.
My goal(s) are to get the quilt to the expectant parents
before the baby is born.
I want them to have time to play with it, arrange the
empty nursery and dream a little before they get busy
with a new infant in thier lives.

We're very different types of people that can find lots
in common in lots of areas, but I'm much more goal oriented
while she's the true definition of a dreamer and putterer.



My husband and I kind of kicked it around and his solution
seemed the most diplomatic. I'm going to contine on with my
plans as normal and just not mention it to her unless she asks,
and also work with her on her idea. The quilt of my design
will have a little tag on it stating it's from Grandma
and the one we collaberate on will say it's from Grandma
AND Great-Auntie.
My grand-daughter will get two quilts instead of one
and at least one of those quilts will be on my timeline.
I don't know how other people would have handled this, but
I'm a bit curious if anyone else ever had this type of situation
crop up.

And, my original baby quilt has been set temporarily aside
so I can take a complete break from it until I can decide
what design changes I'm going to make on it.

Terri

And if she finds out you're still working on the other one and gets huffy,
you can tell her "it's just something to do while I'm waiting on you to have
the blocks ready....."

--pig

On 1/28/04 10:41, opined:

You're doing the right thing. Anyhow, I can't think why she would be
offended if you want to make your own quilt in addition to the
collaboration.
Her idea sounds charming, but it's just too frustrating to have to wait for
somebody else to finish before you can start. I've worked with putterers
before. Best not to hold your breath. If she finishes her blocks, great. If
not, you'll still have a quilt for the baby.
Roberta in D

You aren't 'giving it up' you a
Fine Tuning It

Start thinking that way and it will make it easier to change things as you
go along',

First, changing your 'thinking' is about the hardest part
If it helps any--and you have a camera--take pix of setting one and then
setting two after the 'fine tuning session'. Compare pix--which one sings
to you.

sSunds like you are doing right by SIL--go slow--just don't let her snowball
you from the get go and she won't try later on, once your friendship is
established. (Easier said than done)

HTH
Butterfly

"dogsnus" wrote in message
...
"Roberta Zollner" wrote in
-
online.com:

You're doing the right thing. Anyhow, I can't think why she would be
offended if you want to make your own quilt in addition to the
collaboration.

Me either, but I don't know her all that well yet. I only met
her once in 2002 briefly, the year before we moved down here, and I'm
still
feeling my way. Part of this desired diplomacy comes from the aspect of
my husband getting to know his sister again ,since they hadn't seen
each other in over 30 years. I would rather not be the source of
any strain in their getting re-aquainted again, if I can help it.
(That doesn't mean I'm the sort of person who wears a welcome mat
on their back, far from it.) But I'm willing to overlook a lot
of potentially petty stuff right now in this particular situation.

Note: The clues are slowly beginning to turn into a pattern so far,
though.
On my first quilt, she helped me with the binding as I'd never done
that before. She now refers to it as "our" quilt, even though I'm
the one who spent 4 solid months embroidering it; most of it through
a cross country move, too.
I've not bothered to correct her and just smile. It's enough for me
to know that it was my work.


Her idea sounds charming, but it's just too frustrating to have to wait
for
somebody else to finish before you can start. I've worked with
putterers
before. Best not to hold your breath. If she finishes her blocks, great.
If
not, you'll still have a quilt for the baby.

Yes, our thoughts too. Love her to death so far, but I'm already well
aware
at her lack of organizational skills. Fortunately, I also have a putterer
sister who trained me early in life, and I know how to just go around them
and get things done with a minimum of mental effort expended.
I was just curious how others handled this type of person from a quilting
aspect and it seems as if you've had experience with it.


And, my original baby quilt has been set temporarily aside
so I can take a complete break from it until I can decide
what design changes I'm going to make on it.

the Baby Quilt, I tore out all the quilting stitches last night
and have decided to recut the white fabric and make a Biscuit quilt,
combined with some sublte red print on white, that I got in my recent
windfall.

I saw one in a book I got from the library and liked it.
Hopefully I'll get it finished this weekend.
I'll do the feather quilting on another quilt at another
time.
I've discovered that my inablity to come up with another idea
was due to my reluctance to part with an idea once I'd made
a descision. I don't like changing my plans once I've commited
to them. Personality trait of mine. I don't like to give up.

Terri

sounds like you should do what you want since it is for your
grandchild... finish this quilt as you had planned.

if she takes so much time with her projects, anyway, you can work on the
other quilt later if you want to...

dogsnus wrote:

My SIL, the one who gave me all the free fabric called
all excited with an idea she wants to do for me on The Baby
quilt. It's a grand idea and I like it: She wants to use
her Bernina to make Raggedy Ann and Andy's and red teddybears
on 10" white squares.


The problem is, she wants me to put my current baby quilt aside
and worry about it later and use her idea exclusively.
Hmmm...



--
Dr. Quilter
Ambassador of Extraordinary Aliens
(take the dog out before replying)

Glad to be of help : )
Butterfly
"dogsnus" wrote in message
...
"Butterfly" wrote in
:

You aren't 'giving it up' you a
Fine Tuning It
Heh. Works for me!


Start thinking that way and it will make it easier to change things as
you go along',

First, changing your 'thinking' is about the hardest part
If it helps any--and you have a camera--take pix of setting one and then
setting two after the 'fine tuning session'. Compare pix--which one
sings to you.

Thanks for the idea.

Terri

I've not bothered to correct her and just smile. It's enough for me
to know that it was my work

There is no end to the good you can do if you don't care who gets the credit...

Don't remember where the quote came from, but I remind myself of it often when
working with glory-grabbers.

Janet