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OT - Please Help Ladies!! Restroom Etiquette - Your Opinions Needed!!



 
 
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  #21  
Old November 11th 03, 02:30 AM
Julia Altshuler
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How old was your oldest when you started letting him into the public
men's room by himself?

--Lia


Shelly wrote:
Please do NOT let your children go into any restroom alone!


snip

My oldest son will be 22 this month.
My eight yr old still goes with me into the ladies room, if my dh isn't
around.


Ads
  #22  
Old November 11th 03, 02:44 AM
Teresa in Colorado
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No flames - great questions.

I have 2 DDs and 2 DSs (twins). If both parents were present, we took the
kids to their respective appropriate restroom (it was great - by the time
the boys had to use the restroom, the girls could take themselves, so I
didn't eat any more cold meals!), but this was not always possible so...

The DDs started using the ladies room all the time once they were out of
diapers and pretty self-sufficient in the restroom. I think they were 4ish.
If my DH was the only parent around, he stood outside the ladies room to
listen and, if absolutely necessary, help. After all, mens restrooms are not
nearly as private as ladies restrooms.

The DSs did basically the same thing - once they were out of diapers and
very self-sufficient, although they were a bit older than the girls before I
allowed them to go in by themselves. I think they were 5 or so. I would
stand outside the door and listen. It was helpful that there were 2 of
them - the watched out for each other. DS#1 could stay in a restroom
forever - he would sit and sing. I had to go in after him several times, or
open the door and yell for him to hurry up. Because of his disabilities, he
went to the ladies room with me until he was older if his brother wasn't
with me.

To answer your questions specifically:

1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?


I would not be happy to have a man in the ladies room (unless, of course, he
had to rush in and rescue a girl-child in distress - there are always
exceptions). I think that the mens room should be fairly clean and if it's
not, the management should be notified and the business boycotted if
necessary. It's a public health issue!

2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?


Answered above

3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?


IMHO this is important. I think it's time to start teaching your boys how
to use the mens room - especially when there's 2 of them to watch out for
each other. I don't think they are too old yet, but they soon will be.
You might have to rush into the mens room to retrieve a child, but I did it
and lived to tell about it. They need to learn how to handle this, so when
they say "Mom, I'm too old to go to the ladies room!", they are ready for
the transition.

--
Teresa in Colorado

The Presser Foot
Sewing Machine Sales, Service, Supplies, and More
www.thepresserfoot.com
--
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting

retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not

only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her

exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family

restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as

possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos




  #23  
Old November 11th 03, 02:54 AM
Teresa in Colorado
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Posts: n/a
Default

We don't always have separate for the disabled - sometimes the handicapped
stall is inside the mens/ladies restroom.

--
Teresa in Colorado

The Presser Foot
Sewing Machine Sales, Service, Supplies, and More
www.thepresserfoot.com
--
"Sharon Harper" wrote in message
...
It's a doozy of a subject isn't it? I'm lucky enough to have 2 girls and
most times we go out as a family so there are no hassles. HOWEVER, I have
had boys out with us and have had to take them into the ladies. I usually
manage to avoid the boys in ladies/girls in gents by using a disabled
toilet. Yes I know they are supposed to be for disabled but sometimes it
gets around this problem. Daddy takes girls into disabled toilet, no-one
gets funny looks from either gender, in and out in five minutes. I think
boys who are getting up to the 7-10 range should be okay to go into the
gents with mum standing guard outside. And I don't think I'd like to find

a
man in the ladies either!


--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting

retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I.

We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom

at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not

only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her

exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family

restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all,

I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as

possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children,

say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions

from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos






  #24  
Old November 11th 03, 03:00 AM
Teresa in Colorado
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I understand what you are saying. I'd forgotten about this (and I am a
charter member of the TWBS). I also have this worry when going places with
DS#1 who is 14 but just learning how to fend for himself.

If the twins are both with you AND you are in a "safe" place (say a local
small restaurant where everyone knows you rather than a big mall full of
unknowns), start teaching the boys to start waiting quietly outside for you
with instructions to YELL LOUDLY if anything alarms them. Teach them now.

I recently traveled from here to Birmingham Alabama with DS#1 - I hadn't
even thought of the restroom issue. He's been doing really well (we are
working awfully hard on this one - after all, he will be an adult someday
and want as much independance as possible), but the first bathroom trip had
me very nervous. I broke the record getting in and out of there in a hurry.
But, all was well - he was waiting patiently for me right where I told him
to.

--
Teresa in Colorado

The Presser Foot
Sewing Machine Sales, Service, Supplies, and More
www.thepresserfoot.com
--
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
I suppose the hardest part is when the need is My Own. Without the little
one, I would usually wait if I had to go, but now things have changed. I
really can't feel comfortable leaving the boys alone outside with Both DD
and myself take care of business. I do wish the world were not such an
unsafe place for kids these days.




  #25  
Old November 11th 03, 03:04 AM
Teresa in Colorado
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Posts: n/a
Default

Great answer! There is no "Right" answer. Every child is different, every
situation is different.

If DS#1 was having a lot of seizures, I would take him to the womans
restroom in a heartbeat!! And expect the ladies present to understand
completely. He did, by the way, do great in O'Hare. :-)

Do I get the prize for responding the most times to a single thread in the
shortest period of time?
--
Teresa in Colorado

The Presser Foot
Sewing Machine Sales, Service, Supplies, and More
www.thepresserfoot.com
--
"Diana Curtis" wrote in message
...
This is one of those sets of question I feel does not have a single simple
answer. What a parent needs to do depends on a lot of different factors.

My
choices would depend on .. how saavy I felt my child was, how safe the
bathroom environment was, in other words the conditions in each situation
would determine my actions. At Walmart I would stand outside the mens room
door.. at O'hare airport I brought him in with me, at the same age. Both
were the right choices at that time.
Diana

--
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting

retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I.

We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom

at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not

only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her

exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family

restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all,

I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as

possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children,

say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions

from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos






  #26  
Old November 11th 03, 03:16 AM
TwinMom
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Just a quick clarification here friends. My sons CAN use the men's room
alone, and they frequently do if it's a safe and clean environment. I don't
mind waiting outside. The real problem comes when I am out with my
"entourage" as I now call them. When the boys were younger and I had to
"go", I'd take them in with me and, if it was a quiet place, they'd wait by
the sinks and I'd just talk to them constantly, however, if it was busy -
like a large movie theater or restaurant, I'd make them stick a foot near
the door of my stall so I could see them. Now, they're older and we have a
little girl, so things get even more complicated. With now three kids in
tow, it's difficult to attend to everyone's needs. Generally, if DD has to
go, it becomes a group thing. I'm still not comfortable making them wait
outside while DD & I do our thing, so, frequently, I take them in with us
and they use an adjoining stall for times sake. They are still just 7, (and
I DON'T allow them to peek under doors, etc.!!) so, for safety's sake, I'm
still taking them where I can watch them, but I do realize that the time
will come when I just can't be there. I'm still waiting a year or two from
now though. By then, I can just wait outside for the whole lot of them and
maybe get a little hand stitching done during that "quiet time". LOL
Thanks again for all of the input. It's an interesting discussion.


  #28  
Old November 11th 03, 04:48 AM
nomorespam
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Posts: n/a
Default

7 is not too old for them to go with you, but I think your husband would
have to take your daughter in the mens room. It is up to him to guide
her in and out, and make sure she uses a safe relatively clean place.
After working in retail I will tell you the ladies room is generaly less
clean than the mens room, for monthly reasons.

Christina

TwinMom wrote:
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos



  #29  
Old November 11th 03, 05:27 AM
Teresa in Colorado
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I visited Germany last spring. There were often restroom attendants, which
was great - the restrooms were always clean. It was considered polite to
tip the attendant, which I always did.

The restroom attendant could be either sex and cleaned the restroom as
needed - whether there was someone in it or not. I thought it was worth
it, to have a clean restroom.

--
Teresa in Colorado

The Presser Foot
Sewing Machine Sales, Service, Supplies, and More
www.thepresserfoot.com
--
"Piglet" wrote in message
...
On 11/10/03 12:05 PM, opined:

1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?


I'd call the cops. An adult male doesn't belong in the ladies' unless

he's
the janitor and it's vacant. ("one-holers", of course, are an
exception---doesn't really matter who's in there since it's single
occupancy.)

2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?


Men will cope. They may not like it, but they'll cope. g If there are
only "group mens" and "group ladies" restrooms available, the sex of the
parent is the determining factor, not the sex of the child. DH coped.

The
guys in there at the time coped. g

3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children,

say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?


Ten? Yeah, that's way too old. If the kid's old enough to drop trou and
wipe by himself (six, maybe, at the max?), he's old enough to use the
facilities alone. If it's a crowded place, wait at the door for him.

--pig



  #30  
Old November 11th 03, 09:57 AM
Marie Lewis
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article , Kathy
Applebaum writes
You know, I've never thought about this or seen it happen. Can't really say
what I'd think. I'm sure the problem also comes up when a elderly person (or
a disabled person) has a caregiver of the opposite sex. Hmmm.....



I am, at present, somewhat dependent on a wheelchair, and my husband has
been pushing my chair around France, on holiday, for three weeks.

He didn't hesitate to take me into the ladies' loos and no-one at all
raised an eyebrow.
--
Marie Lewis
 




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