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OT - Please Help Ladies!! Restroom Etiquette - Your Opinions Needed!!



 
 
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  #11  
Old November 10th 03, 10:27 PM
Sharon Harper
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It's a doozy of a subject isn't it? I'm lucky enough to have 2 girls and
most times we go out as a family so there are no hassles. HOWEVER, I have
had boys out with us and have had to take them into the ladies. I usually
manage to avoid the boys in ladies/girls in gents by using a disabled
toilet. Yes I know they are supposed to be for disabled but sometimes it
gets around this problem. Daddy takes girls into disabled toilet, no-one
gets funny looks from either gender, in and out in five minutes. I think
boys who are getting up to the 7-10 range should be okay to go into the
gents with mum standing guard outside. And I don't think I'd like to find a
man in the ladies either!


--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting

retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not

only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her

exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family

restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as

possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos




Ads
  #12  
Old November 10th 03, 10:44 PM
The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me
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If a man was standing outside a woman's restroom with his daughter and
asked me if I minded if he went inside with her, I would say "no, I
don't mind" and would volunteer to check inside to see if it was "safe"
and/or ask the ladies inside if they minded. Since all the ladies
inside would be in a private "stall" I don't see a problem, but I'd ask.
(In a men's restroom, a little girl doesn't have the privacy feature of
all stalls and would be exposed to a degree of nudity, etc.) If I were
*inside* a ladies restroom and a man waltzed in unannounced, I'd
probably chase him out.... just a knee-jerk reaction- sorry. If I were
going inside a ladies room and a man asked me to watch out for his
daughter/accompany her, I'd be glad to do so, but then I'm a sweet
looking granny with a limp VBG and I guess I just appear
trust-worthy..... I always seem to get asked to do things like this
(small shop owners- who don't know me!- have asked me to watch their
shop while they run to the rest room or to get the mail, or they hand me
$20 and ask me to go across to the bank and get change for them, etc.).
I don't mind little boys in a ladies room, but then I'm pretty relaxed
and casual about things like that. BUT I will NOT tolerate little
children, of either sex, peeking under the walls- or thru the cracks in
the door- of my stall!!! I've had that happen innumerable times and
some mothers don't seem to think that's a call for discipline?!?!?
Sheesh- but that makes me angry!!!!!

It's a difficult call. I have two sons and was a single parent, but
back in those days it wasn't quite so scary. But I did a LOT of
worrying when I sent my precious boys into public restrooms together.

Leslie interested in hearing what others have to say on this subject
and glad The Furbabies have their own solution!

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me- My dogs aren't my whole life...they make my
life whole.

RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of
jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...
that was fun!"

  #13  
Old November 10th 03, 11:12 PM
Mary in Rock Island IL
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"TwinMom" wrote:

1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?

While I would understand that she can't be unescorted, I would expect
he would take her into the men's room
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with dads/daughters,
how did you address it?

My DH took our daughter into the men's room when she was young. When
she got older, he would stand outside the women's room and wait for
her
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?

I'm actually surprised your boys are still willing to go in with you.
Well before my boys became 7, they refused to go into the women's room
with me. Standing outside the men's room isn't fun but it is what I
did until I didn't think they needed me that close by.
I'm not offended per se. Unless there is a special reason, I do think
once children are school age they should be in their own bathroom.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos



Mary
  #14  
Old November 10th 03, 11:23 PM
Sharon Harper
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At swimming lessons recently a mum brought her 9 year old son into the
ladies change room. The older ladies there (20 plus) - 3 of 'em were a wee
bit embarrassed and started to cover up. My DD (6) refused to get changed
because he was staring. His mum had no idea and just kept telling him to
get changed. Some politely discreet comments were made within her earshot
but most of us just hurried up and got out.

--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"Jan Dunaway" wrote in message
nk.net...
My only complaint with moms taking sons into the ladies room is when the
little bugers are peeking under/over stalls etc. No way in any
circumstances would I send one in on thier own in this day in age.
However, I would think twice about seeing your hubby in there.
Although, it is food for thought since I have a young daughter and will
have to face this question. The only other thing I have ever been
uncomfortable with is when camping and women have brought thier sons
that were 7 + in age into the shower area.... that was not in good
taste, although... again... I wouldn't have sent them into the men's on
thier own either... so I guess the question is at what point to public
restrooms become more family friendly??

Jan



  #15  
Old November 10th 03, 11:44 PM
TwinMom
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Default

I suppose the hardest part is when the need is My Own. Without the little
one, I would usually wait if I had to go, but now things have changed. I
really can't feel comfortable leaving the boys alone outside with Both DD
and myself take care of business. I do wish the world were not such an
unsafe place for kids these days.


  #16  
Old November 11th 03, 01:03 AM
NBennett
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Lorraine
Speaking as a single mother of a girl, who has never had to deal with this
problem,
I'll nevertheless give my opinion/experience.
I do not like to see boys (over about 6 yrs) in the ladies room. Ditto for
women's changeroom
at swimming pools. I don't like being ogled by little boys. Mostly they look
miserable at being
there too.
I have, on occasion, taken little girls to the washroom along with my own
daughter when I notice
a stressed out father trying to figure out how to handle the situation. The
girls were old enough to
actually do everything themselves. I just walked them in, waited for them,
made sure they washed
their hands and walked them back to their fathers.
I think the bathroom situation is part of judging whether or not the outing
is suitable for the child.
I would never take a 3 yr old to an opera because they couldn't behave
appropriately. I also
wouldn't take a child of the opposite sex somewhere where the washroom
situation was not
suitable to the child's age. This means if the child was not old enough to
go to the washroom alone,
I wouldn't take him/her far from home. I would make sure they used the
washroom before we left
home. I would make sure the outing was short so we could get back to the
washroom at home.
Sort of like planning on being home for naptime for a baby. It's part of
being a responsible parent.
Having said that, I know kids are not always predictable in this regard.
When push comes to shove, I think the parent should take the child into the
washroom appropriate
for the parent. I would tolerate seeing a 7 yr old boy better than a 40 yr
old man in the ladies washroom.
Nancy
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting

retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not

only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her

exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family

restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as

possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos




  #17  
Old November 11th 03, 01:45 AM
Jalynne
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Default

Dh has had to take DD into the men's washroom a couple of times, but he makes sure
that she has her eyes covered until they got to the stall. Now he would just wait
outside the ladies room and let her go by herself. (she's 6.5) There are still places
he wouldn't do that, such as the local Fair, the airport or something like that,
where it's more difficult to monitor who comes in and out. As far as it goes with
DD's best friend, who is her age, his mom will not allow him into a restroom
unaccompanied. She will take him in, and try to use the wheelchair accessable stall
(heck, i use that stall with my own child), unless she is out with us, and DH is
there, whereas DH will take him in. We respect her feelings in the matter, and try
to be flexible about it. That's what it takes with having kids in the world, I think,
flexibility. Not that they should dictate everything we do, of course...but..i think
you get the idea.

We take our DD everywhere with us, and have since she was born. She's gone to the
opera, symphony, ballet, etc., and has been trained from day one how to behave. I
don't worry about that part at all. As to what outing is appropriate for her or not,
the only thing i'd consider is if the things we were to see would be too graphic or
inappropriate in that way for a child to handle. Kids need to be exposed to "grown
up" situations like restaurants and the theatre (as opposed to movies/cinema, though
movies for kids are fine), and to be exposed when they're younger, so that when they
get to be teenagers, they aren't completely socially inept. It also very much
depends on the child. Some kids are more able to sit still and pay attention than
others, and the same child at one age may be ok, then might not be when older or
younger. I think it's a real judgement call that you have to make at that particular
moment...and just deal with it at the time. If people get offended because you're
trying to do the best you can with your kids, as long as you aren't doing anything
relaly harmful to anyone...well, that's really their problem to deal with, and not
yours. I'm not saying that you can't be polite about it, but someone is always bound
to get offended no matter what you do.

I would like to see more family washrooms, such as you can find in many airports and
large malls these days, or a single, lockable washroom that could be used by
anyone....and rooms for breast feeding moms to nurse while they are out. This would
solve the problem, IMHO.

My two cents.
--
Jalynne
Queen Gypsy (snail mail available upon request)
see what i've been up to at www.100megsfree4.com/jalynne

"NBennett" wrote in message
.. .
Lorraine
Speaking as a single mother of a girl, who has never had to deal with this
problem,
I'll nevertheless give my opinion/experience.
I do not like to see boys (over about 6 yrs) in the ladies room. Ditto for
women's changeroom
at swimming pools. I don't like being ogled by little boys. Mostly they look
miserable at being
there too.
I have, on occasion, taken little girls to the washroom along with my own
daughter when I notice
a stressed out father trying to figure out how to handle the situation. The
girls were old enough to
actually do everything themselves. I just walked them in, waited for them,
made sure they washed
their hands and walked them back to their fathers.
I think the bathroom situation is part of judging whether or not the outing
is suitable for the child.
I would never take a 3 yr old to an opera because they couldn't behave
appropriately. I also
wouldn't take a child of the opposite sex somewhere where the washroom
situation was not
suitable to the child's age. This means if the child was not old enough to
go to the washroom alone,
I wouldn't take him/her far from home. I would make sure they used the
washroom before we left
home. I would make sure the outing was short so we could get back to the
washroom at home.
Sort of like planning on being home for naptime for a baby. It's part of
being a responsible parent.
Having said that, I know kids are not always predictable in this regard.
When push comes to shove, I think the parent should take the child into the
washroom appropriate
for the parent. I would tolerate seeing a 7 yr old boy better than a 40 yr
old man in the ladies washroom.
Nancy
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting

retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not

only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her

exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family

restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as

possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos






  #18  
Old November 11th 03, 01:46 AM
Diana Curtis
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Posts: n/a
Default

This is one of those sets of question I feel does not have a single simple
answer. What a parent needs to do depends on a lot of different factors. My
choices would depend on .. how saavy I felt my child was, how safe the
bathroom environment was, in other words the conditions in each situation
would determine my actions. At Walmart I would stand outside the mens room
door.. at O'hare airport I brought him in with me, at the same age. Both
were the right choices at that time.
Diana

--
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting

retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not

only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her

exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family

restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as

possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter

into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with

dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little

boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos




  #19  
Old November 11th 03, 01:48 AM
Shelly
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Please do NOT let your children go into any restroom alone! I have a dear
friend that allowed her son to go into a restroom in a McDonalds restaurant,
while she waited outside the door in the booth they were sitting in. Her son
never came out of the restroom, she had to go in after him. There was a
pervert in the restroom when the child entered and the child was beaten and
his penis cut off. You never know what kind of sick predator may be lurking.
The child was 6 yrs old at the time and had Tisha not went into the restroom
when she did, he would have definitely bled to death and almost did. He was
already unconscious.

I always carried my son in the restroom with me until he started wanting to
go to the men's room. I'd then wait at the door and warn him I'd be coming
in there in about 2 minutes max, unless he told me he needed more time to do
his business before he went in. I have also asked gentlemen to check on him
if I thought he'd been in there a little longer than he should. I've never
had anyone to refuse to check on him. My oldest son will be 22 this month.
My eight yr old still goes with me into the ladies room, if my dh isn't
around. I'd not ever let a girl into a mens room. But that's just me. You do
what you have to do at the time and what you think is right! Nevermind what
anyone else thinks. ;o)

Shelly



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Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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  #20  
Old November 11th 03, 01:56 AM
Lisa Ellis
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Posts: n/a
Default

TwinMom wrote:


1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?


I don't think it is more appropriate for a father to take his young
daughter into the women's bathroom. If she is too young to go alone,
then he can take her into the men's bathroom. I don't think should be a
problem or traumatizing for her, while it may be upsetting for a
full-grown woman to see a man in women's restroom.


2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with dads/daughters,
how did you address it?


I have one child, a son. As soon as he was 4 or 5 (school age), he
didn't need my assistance and was able to go into public bathrooms by
himself. I waited for him outside or nearby for several years, until he
was 8 or 9. Beyond that, I didn't need to be involved.

3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?


A boy over the age of five or so should really be able to handle going
to bathroom by themselves. I don't think boy children over that age
belong in the woman's restroom, even with their moms. Same with
girls...once they are old enough, they don't belong in the men's bathroom.


Rading this thread has been interesting. They recently retiled the
women's bathroom at the climbing gym I go to. So for a week they turned
the men's bathroom into a coed bathroom. They blocked off the urinals,
so they couldn't be used, and put curtains up around the shower area
(available to men only), and put up signs saying no nudity... We all
lived through the expeience. But I'll tell you, my friends and I got
some funny looks from the men who overheard our conversations. They
don't realize we talk about about them and about sex?

 




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