OT The Horrors of Blimping

A couple of words have been *ed for those unused to vulgarities.
Just letting you know they are there in case you are offended by
vulgarities.



Last week while traveling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and
saw that they had a blimp for sale. It's called Airship Earth, and
it's a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two
propellers hanging from the bottom. You blow up the balloon with
helium, put batteries in it, and you have a radio control indoor
blimp.
I'd seen these things for sale in Sharper Image catalogs for $60-
$75. At Zany Brainy it was on clearance for $15. What a deal!
Last night my wife was playing tennis and it was just my
daughter and I at home. I bought a small helium tank from a party
store, and last night we put the blimp together.
Let me tell you, it's quite a blimp. It's huge. The balloon has
like a 3 ft diameter.
We blew it up with the tank, attached the gondola with the
propellers, and put in batteries.
Then we balanced the blimp for neutral buoyancy with this putty
that came with it, so it hangs in the air by itself neither rising
nor falling.
It was easy and fun, and then I blew up another balloon and made
Mickey Mouse helium voices for my daughter.
My three year old girl loved it. We flew the blimp all over the
house, terrorized the dog, attacked the fish tank, and the controls
were so easy my daughter could fly.
Let's face it, blimps are fun.
Alas, the fun had to end and my daughter had to go to sleep. I
left the blimp floating in my office downstairs, my wife came home,
and we went to bed, and slept the sleep of the righteous.
At this point it is important to know that my house has central
heating. I have it configured to blow hot air out on the ground floor
and take it in at the second floor to take advantage of the fact that
heat rises.
The blimp which was up until this moment a fun toy here embarked
on a career of evil. Using the artificial convection of my central
heating, the blimp stealthily departed my office. It moved silently
through the living and drifted to the staircase. Gliding wraithlike
over the staircase it then entered the bedroom where my wife and I
lay sleeping peacefully.
Running silently, and gliding six feet or so above the ground on
invisible and tiny air currents it approached the bed.
In spite of it's noiseless passage, or perhaps because of it, I
awoke. That doesn't really say it properly. Let me try again.
I awoke, the way you awake at 2:00 AM when your sleeping senses
suddenly tell you without reason that the forces of evil on
converging on you.
That still doesn't do it. Let me try one more time.
I awoke the way you awake when you suddenly know that there is a
large levitating sinister presence hovering towards you with menacing
intent through the malignant darkness.
Now sometimes I do wake up in the middle of the night thinking
that there are large sinister and menacing things floating out of the
darkness to do me and mine evil. Usually I open my eyes, look and
listen carefully, decide it was a false alarm, and go back to sleep.
So, the fact that I awoke in such a manner was not all that
unusual.
On this occasion I awoke to the sense that there was a large
menacing presence approaching me silently out of the gloom, so I
opened my eyes, and there it was! A LARGE SILENT MENACING PRESENCE
WAS APPROACHING ME OUT OF THE GLOOM, AND IT COULD FLY!!!
Somewhere in the control room of my mind a fat little dwarf in a
security outfit was paging through a Penthouse while smoking a cigar
with his feet up on the table, watching the security monitors of my
brain with his peripheral vision. Suddenly he saw the LARGE SILENT
SINISTER MENACING FLOATING PRESENCE coming at me, and he pulled every
panic switch and hit every alarm that my body has. A full decade's
allotment of adrenaline was dumped into my bloodstream all at once.
My metabolism went from "restful sleep mode" to HOLY S **T! FIGHT FOR
YOUR LIFE OR DIE!!!! mode" in a nanosecond. My heart went from twenty
something beats per minute to about 240 even faster.
I always knew this was going to happen. I always knew that
skepticism and science were mere psychological decorations and
vanities. Deep in our alligator brains we all know that the world is
just chock full of evil and monsters and sinister forces aligned
against us, and it is only a matter of time until they show up.
Evolution knows this, too. It knows what to do when the silent
terror comes at you from out of the dark.
When 50 million years worth of evolutionary survival instinct
hits you all at once flat in the gut at 200 mph it is not a pleasant
sensation.
Without volition I screamed my battle cry (which is
indistinguishable from the sound a little girl makes when you drop a
spider down her dress, not that I'd know what that sounds like) and
leapt out of bed in my underwear.
I struck the approaching menace with all my strength and almost
fell over at the total lack of resistance that a helium balloon
offers when you punch the living s**t out of it with all the
strength that sudden middle of the night terror produces.
It's trajectory took it straight into the ceiling fan which
whipped it about the room at terrifying velocity.
Seeking a weapon, I ripped the alarm clock out of its plug and
hurled it at the now High Velocity Menacing presence (breaking the
clock and putting a nice hole in the wall.)
Somehow at this moment I suddenly realized that I was fighting
the blimp, and not a monster. It might have been funny if I didn't
truly and actually feel like I was having a legitimate heart-attack.
On quivering legs I went to the bathroom and literally gagged
into the toilet while shaking uncontrollably with the shock of the
reaction I'd had.
Unbelievably, both my wife and daughter had completely slept
through the incident. When I decided that I wasn't having a heart
attack after all I went back into the bedroom and found the blimp
which had somehow survived the incident.
I took it to the walk in closet and released it inside where it
floated around with the air currents released from the vents in
there. I closed the door, thus sealing it in, and went back to bed.
About 500 years later I fell asleep.

***
At about 7 am my wife awoke. She had been playing tennis and
wasn't aware that we had assembled the blimp the previous evening,
and that it was now floating around the the walk-in closet that she
approached.
The dynamics between the existing air currents of the closet and
the suction caused by opening the door was just enough to give the
blimp the appearance of an Evil Sinister Menace flying straight
towards her.
This time the blimp did not survive the encounter, nor almost,
did I, as I had to explain to my very angry spouse what motivated me
to hide an evil lurking presence in the closet for her to find at 7
am.
I can order replacement balloons on the internet but I don't
think I will.
Some blimps are better off dead.

--
"To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge
it, requires brains." -Mary Pettibone Poole

Poor Blimp, and to think it was only lonely and wanted a bit of company on a
cool night. (giggle)

before buying another one ( which I would) make sure it comes with strings
and sand bags to hold it down.
LOL
Funny story, not for you or your wife.. but funny.
Thanks!
"NightMist" wrote in message
...

A couple of words have been *ed for those unused to vulgarities.
Just letting you know they are there in case you are offended by
vulgarities.



Last week while traveling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and
saw that they had a blimp for sale. It's called Airship Earth, and
it's a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two
propellers hanging from the bottom. You blow up the balloon with
helium, put batteries in it, and you have a radio control indoor
blimp.
I'd seen these things for sale in Sharper Image catalogs for $60-
$75. At Zany Brainy it was on clearance for $15. What a deal!
Last night my wife was playing tennis and it was just my
daughter and I at home. I bought a small helium tank from a party
store, and last night we put the blimp together.
Let me tell you, it's quite a blimp. It's huge. The balloon has
like a 3 ft diameter.
We blew it up with the tank, attached the gondola with the
propellers, and put in batteries.
Then we balanced the blimp for neutral buoyancy with this putty
that came with it, so it hangs in the air by itself neither rising
nor falling.
It was easy and fun, and then I blew up another balloon and made
Mickey Mouse helium voices for my daughter.
My three year old girl loved it. We flew the blimp all over the
house, terrorized the dog, attacked the fish tank, and the controls
were so easy my daughter could fly.
Let's face it, blimps are fun.
Alas, the fun had to end and my daughter had to go to sleep. I
left the blimp floating in my office downstairs, my wife came home,
and we went to bed, and slept the sleep of the righteous.
At this point it is important to know that my house has central
heating. I have it configured to blow hot air out on the ground floor
and take it in at the second floor to take advantage of the fact that
heat rises.
The blimp which was up until this moment a fun toy here embarked
on a career of evil. Using the artificial convection of my central
heating, the blimp stealthily departed my office. It moved silently
through the living and drifted to the staircase. Gliding wraithlike
over the staircase it then entered the bedroom where my wife and I
lay sleeping peacefully.
Running silently, and gliding six feet or so above the ground on
invisible and tiny air currents it approached the bed.
In spite of it's noiseless passage, or perhaps because of it, I
awoke. That doesn't really say it properly. Let me try again.
I awoke, the way you awake at 2:00 AM when your sleeping senses
suddenly tell you without reason that the forces of evil on
converging on you.
That still doesn't do it. Let me try one more time.
I awoke the way you awake when you suddenly know that there is a
large levitating sinister presence hovering towards you with menacing
intent through the malignant darkness.
Now sometimes I do wake up in the middle of the night thinking
that there are large sinister and menacing things floating out of the
darkness to do me and mine evil. Usually I open my eyes, look and
listen carefully, decide it was a false alarm, and go back to sleep.
So, the fact that I awoke in such a manner was not all that
unusual.
On this occasion I awoke to the sense that there was a large
menacing presence approaching me silently out of the gloom, so I
opened my eyes, and there it was! A LARGE SILENT MENACING PRESENCE
WAS APPROACHING ME OUT OF THE GLOOM, AND IT COULD FLY!!!
Somewhere in the control room of my mind a fat little dwarf in a
security outfit was paging through a Penthouse while smoking a cigar
with his feet up on the table, watching the security monitors of my
brain with his peripheral vision. Suddenly he saw the LARGE SILENT
SINISTER MENACING FLOATING PRESENCE coming at me, and he pulled every
panic switch and hit every alarm that my body has. A full decade's
allotment of adrenaline was dumped into my bloodstream all at once.
My metabolism went from "restful sleep mode" to HOLY S **T! FIGHT FOR
YOUR LIFE OR DIE!!!! mode" in a nanosecond. My heart went from twenty
something beats per minute to about 240 even faster.
I always knew this was going to happen. I always knew that
skepticism and science were mere psychological decorations and
vanities. Deep in our alligator brains we all know that the world is
just chock full of evil and monsters and sinister forces aligned
against us, and it is only a matter of time until they show up.
Evolution knows this, too. It knows what to do when the silent
terror comes at you from out of the dark.
When 50 million years worth of evolutionary survival instinct
hits you all at once flat in the gut at 200 mph it is not a pleasant
sensation.
Without volition I screamed my battle cry (which is
indistinguishable from the sound a little girl makes when you drop a
spider down her dress, not that I'd know what that sounds like) and
leapt out of bed in my underwear.
I struck the approaching menace with all my strength and almost
fell over at the total lack of resistance that a helium balloon
offers when you punch the living s**t out of it with all the
strength that sudden middle of the night terror produces.
It's trajectory took it straight into the ceiling fan which
whipped it about the room at terrifying velocity.
Seeking a weapon, I ripped the alarm clock out of its plug and
hurled it at the now High Velocity Menacing presence (breaking the
clock and putting a nice hole in the wall.)
Somehow at this moment I suddenly realized that I was fighting
the blimp, and not a monster. It might have been funny if I didn't
truly and actually feel like I was having a legitimate heart-attack.
On quivering legs I went to the bathroom and literally gagged
into the toilet while shaking uncontrollably with the shock of the
reaction I'd had.
Unbelievably, both my wife and daughter had completely slept
through the incident. When I decided that I wasn't having a heart
attack after all I went back into the bedroom and found the blimp
which had somehow survived the incident.
I took it to the walk in closet and released it inside where it
floated around with the air currents released from the vents in
there. I closed the door, thus sealing it in, and went back to bed.
About 500 years later I fell asleep.

***
At about 7 am my wife awoke. She had been playing tennis and
wasn't aware that we had assembled the blimp the previous evening,
and that it was now floating around the the walk-in closet that she
approached.
The dynamics between the existing air currents of the closet and
the suction caused by opening the door was just enough to give the
blimp the appearance of an Evil Sinister Menace flying straight
towards her.
This time the blimp did not survive the encounter, nor almost,
did I, as I had to explain to my very angry spouse what motivated me
to hide an evil lurking presence in the closet for her to find at 7
am.
I can order replacement balloons on the internet but I don't
think I will.
Some blimps are better off dead.

--
"To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge
it, requires brains." -Mary Pettibone Poole

Hilarious. Sorry it had to happen to you and not someone else.
Also hope the heart has returned to normal for each of you. DH
& I will never have such a toy in the house. Guaranteed!!!
Marlys in Indiana

"NightMist" wrote in message
...

A couple of words have been *ed for those unused to vulgarities.
Just letting you know they are there in case you are offended by
vulgarities.



Last week while traveling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and
saw that they had a blimp for sale. It's called Airship Earth, and
it's a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two
propellers hanging from the bottom. You blow up the balloon with
helium, put batteries in it, and you have a radio control indoor
blimp.
I'd seen these things for sale in Sharper Image catalogs for $60-
$75. At Zany Brainy it was on clearance for $15. What a deal!
Last night my wife was playing tennis and it was just my
daughter and I at home. I bought a small helium tank from a party
store, and last night we put the blimp together.
Let me tell you, it's quite a blimp. It's huge. The balloon has
like a 3 ft diameter.
We blew it up with the tank, attached the gondola with the
propellers, and put in batteries.
Then we balanced the blimp for neutral buoyancy with this putty
that came with it, so it hangs in the air by itself neither rising
nor falling.
It was easy and fun, and then I blew up another balloon and made
Mickey Mouse helium voices for my daughter.
My three year old girl loved it. We flew the blimp all over the
house, terrorized the dog, attacked the fish tank, and the controls
were so easy my daughter could fly.
Let's face it, blimps are fun.
Alas, the fun had to end and my daughter had to go to sleep. I
left the blimp floating in my office downstairs, my wife came home,
and we went to bed, and slept the sleep of the righteous.
At this point it is important to know that my house has central
heating. I have it configured to blow hot air out on the ground floor
and take it in at the second floor to take advantage of the fact that
heat rises.
The blimp which was up until this moment a fun toy here embarked
on a career of evil. Using the artificial convection of my central
heating, the blimp stealthily departed my office. It moved silently
through the living and drifted to the staircase. Gliding wraithlike
over the staircase it then entered the bedroom where my wife and I
lay sleeping peacefully.
Running silently, and gliding six feet or so above the ground on
invisible and tiny air currents it approached the bed.
In spite of it's noiseless passage, or perhaps because of it, I
awoke. That doesn't really say it properly. Let me try again.
I awoke, the way you awake at 2:00 AM when your sleeping senses
suddenly tell you without reason that the forces of evil on
converging on you.
That still doesn't do it. Let me try one more time.
I awoke the way you awake when you suddenly know that there is a
large levitating sinister presence hovering towards you with menacing
intent through the malignant darkness.
Now sometimes I do wake up in the middle of the night thinking
that there are large sinister and menacing things floating out of the
darkness to do me and mine evil. Usually I open my eyes, look and
listen carefully, decide it was a false alarm, and go back to sleep.
So, the fact that I awoke in such a manner was not all that
unusual.
On this occasion I awoke to the sense that there was a large
menacing presence approaching me silently out of the gloom, so I
opened my eyes, and there it was! A LARGE SILENT MENACING PRESENCE
WAS APPROACHING ME OUT OF THE GLOOM, AND IT COULD FLY!!!
Somewhere in the control room of my mind a fat little dwarf in a
security outfit was paging through a Penthouse while smoking a cigar
with his feet up on the table, watching the security monitors of my
brain with his peripheral vision. Suddenly he saw the LARGE SILENT
SINISTER MENACING FLOATING PRESENCE coming at me, and he pulled every
panic switch and hit every alarm that my body has. A full decade's
allotment of adrenaline was dumped into my bloodstream all at once.
My metabolism went from "restful sleep mode" to HOLY S **T! FIGHT FOR
YOUR LIFE OR DIE!!!! mode" in a nanosecond. My heart went from twenty
something beats per minute to about 240 even faster.
I always knew this was going to happen. I always knew that
skepticism and science were mere psychological decorations and
vanities. Deep in our alligator brains we all know that the world is
just chock full of evil and monsters and sinister forces aligned
against us, and it is only a matter of time until they show up.
Evolution knows this, too. It knows what to do when the silent
terror comes at you from out of the dark.
When 50 million years worth of evolutionary survival instinct
hits you all at once flat in the gut at 200 mph it is not a pleasant
sensation.
Without volition I screamed my battle cry (which is
indistinguishable from the sound a little girl makes when you drop a
spider down her dress, not that I'd know what that sounds like) and
leapt out of bed in my underwear.
I struck the approaching menace with all my strength and almost
fell over at the total lack of resistance that a helium balloon
offers when you punch the living s**t out of it with all the
strength that sudden middle of the night terror produces.
It's trajectory took it straight into the ceiling fan which
whipped it about the room at terrifying velocity.
Seeking a weapon, I ripped the alarm clock out of its plug and
hurled it at the now High Velocity Menacing presence (breaking the
clock and putting a nice hole in the wall.)
Somehow at this moment I suddenly realized that I was fighting
the blimp, and not a monster. It might have been funny if I didn't
truly and actually feel like I was having a legitimate heart-attack.
On quivering legs I went to the bathroom and literally gagged
into the toilet while shaking uncontrollably with the shock of the
reaction I'd had.
Unbelievably, both my wife and daughter had completely slept
through the incident. When I decided that I wasn't having a heart
attack after all I went back into the bedroom and found the blimp
which had somehow survived the incident.
I took it to the walk in closet and released it inside where it
floated around with the air currents released from the vents in
there. I closed the door, thus sealing it in, and went back to bed.
About 500 years later I fell asleep.

***
At about 7 am my wife awoke. She had been playing tennis and
wasn't aware that we had assembled the blimp the previous evening,
and that it was now floating around the the walk-in closet that she
approached.
The dynamics between the existing air currents of the closet and
the suction caused by opening the door was just enough to give the
blimp the appearance of an Evil Sinister Menace flying straight
towards her.
This time the blimp did not survive the encounter, nor almost,
did I, as I had to explain to my very angry spouse what motivated me
to hide an evil lurking presence in the closet for her to find at 7
am.
I can order replacement balloons on the internet but I don't
think I will.
Some blimps are better off dead.

--
"To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge
it, requires brains." -Mary Pettibone Poole

You forgot the beverage warning!!! What a great story, I hope you have all
recovered.

--
Carolyn, who is wiping coffee off her monitor in The Old Pueblo

If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green
If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. --Carolyn McCarty

If at first you don't succeed, switch to power tools --Red Green
If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer. --Carolyn McCarty

"NightMist" wrote in message
...

A couple of words have been *ed for those unused to vulgarities.
Just letting you know they are there in case you are offended by
vulgarities.



Last week while traveling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and
saw that they had a blimp for sale. It's called Airship Earth, and
it's a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two
propellers hanging from the bottom. You blow up the balloon with
helium, put batteries in it, and you have a radio control indoor
blimp.

gently snipped

NightMist wrote:
Some blimps are better off dead.

*wipes away the tears of mirth*

OMG that was hilarious. DH sends his thanks for a great story to start
the day too.

--

the black rose
Research Associate in the Field of Child Development and Human
Relations
http://community.webshots.com/user/blackrosequilts
2005 BOMs: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blackrosequilts/my_photos

-------- __o
----- -\. -------- __o
--- ( )/ ( ) ---- -\.
-------------------- ( )/ ( )
-----------------------------------------

Thank you so much for my morning laugh.

Mary (wiping coffee off the screen)

http://community.webshots.com/user/moondancewa

I love quilting and have plenty of material witnesses.

I almost wet my pants.

Cindy

"NightMist" wrote in message
...

A couple of words have been *ed for those unused to vulgarities.
Just letting you know they are there in case you are offended by
vulgarities.



Last week while traveling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and
saw that they had a blimp for sale. It's called Airship Earth, and
it's a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two
propellers hanging from the bottom. You blow up the balloon with
helium, put batteries in it, and you have a radio control indoor
blimp.
I'd seen these things for sale in Sharper Image catalogs for $60-
$75. At Zany Brainy it was on clearance for $15. What a deal!
Last night my wife was playing tennis and it was just my
daughter and I at home. I bought a small helium tank from a party
store, and last night we put the blimp together.
Let me tell you, it's quite a blimp. It's huge. The balloon has
like a 3 ft diameter.
We blew it up with the tank, attached the gondola with the
propellers, and put in batteries.
Then we balanced the blimp for neutral buoyancy with this putty
that came with it, so it hangs in the air by itself neither rising
nor falling.
It was easy and fun, and then I blew up another balloon and made
Mickey Mouse helium voices for my daughter.
My three year old girl loved it. We flew the blimp all over the
house, terrorized the dog, attacked the fish tank, and the controls
were so easy my daughter could fly.
Let's face it, blimps are fun.
Alas, the fun had to end and my daughter had to go to sleep. I
left the blimp floating in my office downstairs, my wife came home,
and we went to bed, and slept the sleep of the righteous.
At this point it is important to know that my house has central
heating. I have it configured to blow hot air out on the ground floor
and take it in at the second floor to take advantage of the fact that
heat rises.
The blimp which was up until this moment a fun toy here embarked
on a career of evil. Using the artificial convection of my central
heating, the blimp stealthily departed my office. It moved silently
through the living and drifted to the staircase. Gliding wraithlike
over the staircase it then entered the bedroom where my wife and I
lay sleeping peacefully.
Running silently, and gliding six feet or so above the ground on
invisible and tiny air currents it approached the bed.
In spite of it's noiseless passage, or perhaps because of it, I
awoke. That doesn't really say it properly. Let me try again.
I awoke, the way you awake at 2:00 AM when your sleeping senses
suddenly tell you without reason that the forces of evil on
converging on you.
That still doesn't do it. Let me try one more time.
I awoke the way you awake when you suddenly know that there is a
large levitating sinister presence hovering towards you with menacing
intent through the malignant darkness.
Now sometimes I do wake up in the middle of the night thinking
that there are large sinister and menacing things floating out of the
darkness to do me and mine evil. Usually I open my eyes, look and
listen carefully, decide it was a false alarm, and go back to sleep.
So, the fact that I awoke in such a manner was not all that
unusual.
On this occasion I awoke to the sense that there was a large
menacing presence approaching me silently out of the gloom, so I
opened my eyes, and there it was! A LARGE SILENT MENACING PRESENCE
WAS APPROACHING ME OUT OF THE GLOOM, AND IT COULD FLY!!!
Somewhere in the control room of my mind a fat little dwarf in a
security outfit was paging through a Penthouse while smoking a cigar
with his feet up on the table, watching the security monitors of my
brain with his peripheral vision. Suddenly he saw the LARGE SILENT
SINISTER MENACING FLOATING PRESENCE coming at me, and he pulled every
panic switch and hit every alarm that my body has. A full decade's
allotment of adrenaline was dumped into my bloodstream all at once.
My metabolism went from "restful sleep mode" to HOLY S **T! FIGHT FOR
YOUR LIFE OR DIE!!!! mode" in a nanosecond. My heart went from twenty
something beats per minute to about 240 even faster.
I always knew this was going to happen. I always knew that
skepticism and science were mere psychological decorations and
vanities. Deep in our alligator brains we all know that the world is
just chock full of evil and monsters and sinister forces aligned
against us, and it is only a matter of time until they show up.
Evolution knows this, too. It knows what to do when the silent
terror comes at you from out of the dark.
When 50 million years worth of evolutionary survival instinct
hits you all at once flat in the gut at 200 mph it is not a pleasant
sensation.
Without volition I screamed my battle cry (which is
indistinguishable from the sound a little girl makes when you drop a
spider down her dress, not that I'd know what that sounds like) and
leapt out of bed in my underwear.
I struck the approaching menace with all my strength and almost
fell over at the total lack of resistance that a helium balloon
offers when you punch the living s**t out of it with all the
strength that sudden middle of the night terror produces.
It's trajectory took it straight into the ceiling fan which
whipped it about the room at terrifying velocity.
Seeking a weapon, I ripped the alarm clock out of its plug and
hurled it at the now High Velocity Menacing presence (breaking the
clock and putting a nice hole in the wall.)
Somehow at this moment I suddenly realized that I was fighting
the blimp, and not a monster. It might have been funny if I didn't
truly and actually feel like I was having a legitimate heart-attack.
On quivering legs I went to the bathroom and literally gagged
into the toilet while shaking uncontrollably with the shock of the
reaction I'd had.
Unbelievably, both my wife and daughter had completely slept
through the incident. When I decided that I wasn't having a heart
attack after all I went back into the bedroom and found the blimp
which had somehow survived the incident.
I took it to the walk in closet and released it inside where it
floated around with the air currents released from the vents in
there. I closed the door, thus sealing it in, and went back to bed.
About 500 years later I fell asleep.

***
At about 7 am my wife awoke. She had been playing tennis and
wasn't aware that we had assembled the blimp the previous evening,
and that it was now floating around the the walk-in closet that she
approached.
The dynamics between the existing air currents of the closet and
the suction caused by opening the door was just enough to give the
blimp the appearance of an Evil Sinister Menace flying straight
towards her.
This time the blimp did not survive the encounter, nor almost,
did I, as I had to explain to my very angry spouse what motivated me
to hide an evil lurking presence in the closet for her to find at 7
am.
I can order replacement balloons on the internet but I don't
think I will.
Some blimps are better off dead.

--
"To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge
it, requires brains." -Mary Pettibone Poole

On Sat, 08 Oct 2005 08:25:03 GMT, (NightMist)
wrote:

I've read this one before, but it still leaves me gasping for air
during gales of laughter. Thank you. I've had a horrible week and
really needed some fun.
Debra in VA
See my quilts at
http://community.webshots.com/user/debplayshere

Oh good heavens that wasn't _me_!
It was just a funny thing that was posted to my discordian group.

NightMist

On Sat, 8 Oct 2005 05:37:16 -0700, "Carolyn McCarty"
wrote:

You forgot the beverage warning!!! What a great story, I hope you have all
recovered.

--
Carolyn, who is wiping coffee off her monitor in The Old Pueblo

If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green
If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. --Carolyn McCarty

If at first you don't succeed, switch to power tools --Red Green
If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer. --Carolyn McCarty

"NightMist" wrote in message
...

A couple of words have been *ed for those unused to vulgarities.
Just letting you know they are there in case you are offended by
vulgarities.



Last week while traveling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and
saw that they had a blimp for sale. It's called Airship Earth, and
it's a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two
propellers hanging from the bottom. You blow up the balloon with
helium, put batteries in it, and you have a radio control indoor
blimp.

gently snipped



--
"To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge
it, requires brains." -Mary Pettibone Poole