OT - Old Hollywood Squares

If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares game show and its comics,
this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are
from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous
and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall
was the host asking the questions, of course. The younger readers among you
won't know who some of these people are. Even if you don't know them....some
of the answers are hysterical.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that
he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give
you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet

Did you take notes on an older show you were watching? I always did love
Paul Lynde.

~Elaine in WNY


"LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message
...
If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares game show and its comics,
this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are
from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
spontaneous
and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall
was the host asking the questions, of course. The younger readers among
you
won't know who some of these people are. Even if you don't know
them....some
of the answers are hysterical.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
that
he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll gi
ve
you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet

Mungo is trying to figure out what game I am playing that is making me laugh
so much! What ever it is, he wants to try it!

Thanks, LN!

--
Wendy
http://griffinsflight.com/Quilting/quilt1.htm
de-fang email address to reply


"LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message
...
If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares game show and its comics,
this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are
from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
spontaneous
and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall
was the host asking the questions, of course. The younger readers among
you
won't know who some of these people are. Even if you don't know
them....some
of the answers are hysterical.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
that
he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
give
you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet

On Wed, 10 Sep 2003 13:48:33 GMT, "LN \(remove NOSPAM\)"
wrotE:

You MUST post spew warning with this; ROTFLMAO!
DeNise

"LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message
...
If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares game show and its comics,
this will bring a tear to your eyes.

Snorfle!

I always loved Charlie Weaver.

Some of you may remember that his favorite answer when he didn't know was
"Fresno, California". One time the question was "What is the raisin capitol
of the world?", and of course, he answered "Fresno, California". The
contestant was sure that must be wrong, but, naturally, it was right. (Well,
almost. If you've driven up Hwy 99, you know the correct answer is Selma,
which is just outside of Fresno.)

--
Kathy A. (Woodland, CA)
longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps
http://www.kayneyquilting.com ,
remove the obvious to reply

How many of those Hollywood Squares folks are still around today?

I know Paul Lynde is gone, but how about Rose Marie? George Goeble? Who
else?

In article ,
"LN \(remove NOSPAM\)" wrote:

If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares game show and its comics,
this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are
from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous
and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall
was the host asking the questions, of course. The younger readers among you
won't know who some of these people are. Even if you don't know them....some
of the answers are hysterical.


This has never been one of my favorite shows, but I was ROFLOL at this!
I'd almost forgotten George Gobel's humor. Thanks!
--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas

http://home.earthlink.net/~s_foster

I'm not quite that anal. LOL One of many forwards from my mom.

--
LN in NH
a crazy quilter * hand quilter * & hand appliquér
all in all --- a very slow quilter.... So send quilts!
http://photos.yahoo.com/lns_obsessed

"Elaine in WNY" wrote in message
...
Did you take notes on an older show you were watching? I always did
love
Paul Lynde.

~Elaine in WNY

Hmmm. Wonder if Animal Planet has Hollywood Squares for dogs?

--
LN in NH
a crazy quilter * hand quilter * & hand appliquér
all in all --- a very slow quilter.... So send quilts!
http://photos.yahoo.com/lns_obsessed

"frood" wrote in message
. com...
Mungo is trying to figure out what game I am playing that is making me
laugh
so much! What ever it is, he wants to try it!

Thanks, LN!

--
Wendy
http://griffinsflight.com/Quilting/quilt1.htm
de-fang email address to reply

Still around: Rose Marie,

Died: George Gobel, Paul Lynde

http://www.gameshow-galaxy.net/squares.htm

http://www.deadoraliveinfo.com/dead.nsf

--
LN in NH
a crazy quilter * hand quilter * & hand appliquér
all in all --- a very slow quilter.... So send quilts!
http://photos.yahoo.com/lns_obsessed

"QuiltShopHopper" QuiltShopHopper@org wrote in message
...
How many of those Hollywood Squares folks are still around today?

I know Paul Lynde is gone, but how about Rose Marie? George Goeble? Who
else?