Not real sure what happened to...

this group.

I left this group over a year ago because of all the hate mail, snide
remarks, and general bitchy-ness of the group.

I had been here for the better part of 5 years when I left. I had taken a
year off in there somewhere because of a lack of internet access.

I'm a recipient of a HUG. I've participated in HUGs. And NOTHING ****es me
off more than to see people whining about their blocks not going into the
designated quilt. At least the blocks are being used, for someone,
somewhere.

The only reason I came back was because I got a message from Larissa this
morning, asking why I didn't join the chat last night. I asked what was
going on, and she filled me in. She also mentioned to me that she had
brought me up in a post, recently.

Well here I am, and mad as hell.

I'm ****ED because we have dying and injured soldiers that need hugs, and on
this group - which USED to be the most loving and generous group I had EVER
seen - we have someone that tried to start a hug, and for whatever reason,
couldn't fit all the blocks in, and wanted to send those blocks to be put
into someone else's quilt.

People got ****ed, started screaming, and now, because of your stupid little
temper tantrum, some soldier that really needs it, probably won't have a
quilt. Why? Because you are being selfish.

Grow up.

Am I a soldiers advocate? You can bet your ass I am. I'm still a Proud
Army Wife, who's husband is DEPLOYED. Yes ladies, my beloved husband is in
IRAQ. That good lookin guy that 39 of you came together to make a hug for
when we got married almost 3 years ago, is in Iraq. He's been gone since
January. I haven't hugged him, or cuddled him since January. It will be
the end of October before he comes home on R&R, and who knows when after
that before he comes home for good.

We've lost a couple soldiers from his unit. The most recent one was blown
to bits by a land mine. That same mine that took his life, left a young
wife a widow (she is only 23) and 2 kids without a daddy. It also took the
eyesight of one, and the legs of another, .

And here you sit, bitching about a few scraps of fabric.

You make me sick.

This group used to be about loving strangers enough to try to help with
hugs.

This group used to be about being there for one another.

Not name calling, not finger pointing, and the only people we had to
kill-file were the damn trolls.

Yeah times change. I know that as well as anyone else. But I never thought
I'd see a bunch of quilters behaving like this.

I'm leaving again, probably never to return again (so don't email me and beg
me to come back). I didn't alter my email address when I set up my
newsreader, just so it would be easier to send me hate mail.

Bring it.

Bring on the flames and the hate mail. My skin is hella thicker now than it
was before. Just be forewarned that you probably won't get an answer out of
me if you send hate mail...I'll be too busy laughing at how petty you are,
and too busy clicking the delete button.

Have a nice day. .

Karlee, still in Kansas

good to see you back Karlee.

You have been missed and though of often.


Dee in Oz

Karlee In Kansas wrote:
This group used to be about loving strangers enough to try to help with
hugs.

This group used to be about being there for one another.

Not name calling, not finger pointing, and the only people we had to
kill-file were the damn trolls.

Yeah times change. I know that as well as anyone else. But I never thought
I'd see a bunch of quilters behaving like this.

Hi Karlee, sorry you had to come back for such a reason.

But I have to disagree with you. I've been on this group on and off for
more than 10 years (under another name, for those of you who know that
"the black rose" has only been here a few years). It's always been like
this. Always. There are periods of relative peace, and God bless you
for remembering that more than anything else.

I'm ignoring the strife, because my life is so stressful right now that
I'm starting to wake up in tears. You don't need any more on your plate
either.

May God bless and keep your husband safe until he can come home to your
loving arms.

--

the black rose
Research Associate in the Field of Child Development and Human
Relations
http://community.webshots.com/user/blackrosequilts
2005 BOMs: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blackrosequilts/my_photos

-------- __o
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--- ( )/ ( ) ---- -\.
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-----------------------------------------

Welcome back, Karlee -- I wish it could have been for longer, though.
Just ignore the griping; we go through this from time to time every
couple of years, but it always passes.
--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education

Being relatively new here, this is my first "snipping" session. It
almost drove me off but I am staying to enjoy the positive and loving
part of the group. I can toss the rest out with the trash.

God bless you, your dear husband and your family. Wish I could have
been part of your hug Karlee.

Mary

http://community.webshots.com/user/moondancewa
IN THE COOKIES OF LIFE, FRIENDS ARE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS.

Karlee,

It has been awhile since we have seen you around. And being one who is
in and out, I wonder where and what happened to some of the ones who
used to be around.

If I can do this gently, I'll do my best. Being in the military does
bring on some personal advantages and disadvantages to one's prior life
which you have mentioned in your note specifically and indirectly by
the way the post was written. This is not the same Karlee I remember
reading posts from a couple of years ago. And with that, I am appalled
that you would come back with such a hateful post as well as words not
becoming of a lady. I question whether you had read several posts from
others who were putting it in the past already. Apologies were
expressed and from what I am reading, some of the hurt feelings already
disappating only to possibly resurface for those involved as well as
bringing on feelings for those who don't already know you for the
person that you were a couple of years ago.

I think it is unfair that you are assuming--at least from my
interpretation of the post--that ALL the members of the group are now
self centered, me first attitude type of people which couldn't be
further from the truth. This group has put together a lot of hug
quilts in the past year or two and have come together to make over 100
quilts in a short period of time for those displaced by Hurricane
Katrina. So self centered or selfish does not describe those who have
given to hug quilts recently or in the past.

I can relate to having a spouse or family member overseas and the
hardships involved for those in military families. I have lived very
near families who have a loved one away, I have taught students who
have a mom or dad away from them for long periods of time. I can see
in your post that you are angry about a lot of things other than this
quilt as that is what I saw with those around me. And like others in
the group who have a full plate, it sounds like yours is really
overflowing.

I could be wrong but I don't think this post was appropriate to have
posted from someone who has been inactive with this group's dynamics
for the past year or more. Facts are what we need to figure out and
search for prior to releasing emotions upon others. That is the only
way to finding out what happened and what answers you are looking for
instead of making your decisions based on what you are hearing and
interpretating from what you are hearing.

With that said, our thoughts are with you and your husband as well as
your children.

Marilyn

How well you put this all Marilyn. We are a family, we squabble and make
up or avoid the ones we feel ill towards. You must remember the little
ins and outs from when you were a member Karlee. Heck, you were in the
middle of a number of them yourself! And still, when push comes to
shove we are there for one another, in ways that really count. I cant
tell you how many times these kind folks have made my day bearable with
their gracious good humor and common sense. I cannot and will not ever
think of these people in the same harsh terms you *impute them with.
Diana
*I had to go look up that word.. its a good one but Im not convinced I
used it correctly.

Marilyn wrote:
Karlee,

It has been awhile since we have seen you around. And being one who is
in and out, I wonder where and what happened to some of the ones who
used to be around.

If I can do this gently, I'll do my best. Being in the military does
bring on some personal advantages and disadvantages to one's prior life
which you have mentioned in your note specifically and indirectly by
the way the post was written. This is not the same Karlee I remember
reading posts from a couple of years ago. And with that, I am appalled
that you would come back with such a hateful post as well as words not
becoming of a lady. I question whether you had read several posts from
others who were putting it in the past already. Apologies were
expressed and from what I am reading, some of the hurt feelings already
disappating only to possibly resurface for those involved as well as
bringing on feelings for those who don't already know you for the
person that you were a couple of years ago.

I think it is unfair that you are assuming--at least from my
interpretation of the post--that ALL the members of the group are now
self centered, me first attitude type of people which couldn't be
further from the truth. This group has put together a lot of hug
quilts in the past year or two and have come together to make over 100
quilts in a short period of time for those displaced by Hurricane
Katrina. So self centered or selfish does not describe those who have
given to hug quilts recently or in the past.

I can relate to having a spouse or family member overseas and the
hardships involved for those in military families. I have lived very
near families who have a loved one away, I have taught students who
have a mom or dad away from them for long periods of time. I can see
in your post that you are angry about a lot of things other than this
quilt as that is what I saw with those around me. And like others in
the group who have a full plate, it sounds like yours is really
overflowing.

I could be wrong but I don't think this post was appropriate to have
posted from someone who has been inactive with this group's dynamics
for the past year or more. Facts are what we need to figure out and
search for prior to releasing emotions upon others. That is the only
way to finding out what happened and what answers you are looking for
instead of making your decisions based on what you are hearing and
interpretating from what you are hearing.

With that said, our thoughts are with you and your husband as well as
your children.

Marilyn

I had this same thought as well Diana. Family. I love my family, my
husband, kids, mom. But we don't always get along and we don't always
see eye to eye. In fact, sometimes it can get down right ugly around
here, especially between the kids. Ironically, in my own family
dynamic, as well as what I have seen here on this group - I can pick on
my brother, but don't YOU dare pick on my little brother. They may
tear each other apart at times - but when push comes to shove or when
someone who doesn't love them the way they really love each other comes
to push - WATCH OUT! And I have seen the same thing here in this group.

I don't see eye to eye with every body and every thing on this group -
but I can darn well guarantee you that if anyone ever came to push me -
I'd want (and most likely have) everyone on this group behind me to
back me up!

We all get our feelings hurt or get mad sometimes about things that
(later on down the road) we can look back at and think, "Well, that
really wasn't THAT big of a deal." And be remorseful about it, talk
and hug and work things out and go on with life. It's true in my own
family, it's true at school, at work and it certainly is true here in
this group I believe.

It may sound childish, but it always helps to remember what we taught,
or tried to teach our children. Before you respond or act - step back,
take a few deep breaths and ask yourself, "Is it really necessary?"
Would you be better served by keeping your mouth shut, walking away,
cooling off, considering the source or just letting it go?

I think we've all been there, done that - at one or more points in our
lives.

Hugs,
Tina

*ascribe maybe?

Diana Curtis wrote:

. . . terms you *impute them with.
Diana
*I had to go look up that word.. its a good one but Im not convinced I
used it correctly.

Welp, I understand, but - - you're a little late on the scene. This is all
settled already.

Karen, Queen of Squishies