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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match
ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. Another Sad Horrific English Series (ASHES) jokes Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman applying sunscreen. Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat. Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman? A. An allrounder. Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates? A. At least they can say they're not really English. Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick? A. Three runs in three balls. Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A bowler. Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion. Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad? A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats. Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player? A. Because he was born in England. Q. What does "Ashes" stand for? A. Another Sad Horrific English Series. Q. What's the English version of LBW? A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped. Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team? A. The person who ironed the cricket whites. Only those who follow the game of cricket (or live in a Nation ruled by the outcome of this ritualised battle between Aus and Eng) would understand. Personally I never understood the attraction of standing in the middle of a wide open space in 100degree heat for days, any more than I understand the appeal of sitting and watching people doing this. I think the series now stands at two/nil in favour of Aus, with three matches to go - but I'm not interested enough to check. lol -- Cheryl & the Cats in OZ o o o o o o ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) Enness Boofhead Donut http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau |
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#2
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Hehehehe... As James said last night: All that fuss over a bit of burnt
wood! I follow (vaguely) Scotland's progress in the Six Nations, but that's about all. James occasionally force feeds me Arsenal's lates escapdes with that boring round thing... As for tennis! That's great! I almost like shopping during Wimbledon! |
#3
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite.
Ugh! There are black clouds all over England. But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes that *we* won last year. Ha! If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who your ancestors were. Huh! gg .. In message , CATS writes These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. snipped - jingoistic insults -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#4
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Oh my! Do I sense a bit of..........bitterness??? g Wow, Cheryl, you
got quite a rise out of Pat! Now I wish I understood the whole situation. :-) Now, Pat.......calm down....it's not good for your blood pressure dear. We need you whole and healthy!!!!! KJ "Patti" wrote in message ... Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite. Ugh! There are black clouds all over England. But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes that *we* won last year. Ha! If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who your ancestors were. Huh! gg . In message , CATS writes These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. snipped - jingoistic insults -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#5
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Replying to my own post.....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes Now I do understand better. I'm sorry for your loss Pat! And conversely happy for our Aussie friends. KJ "KJ" wrote in message news:1lBdh.261286$FQ1.99149@attbi_s71... Oh my! Do I sense a bit of..........bitterness??? g Wow, Cheryl, you got quite a rise out of Pat! Now I wish I understood the whole situation. :-) Now, Pat.......calm down....it's not good for your blood pressure dear. We need you whole and healthy!!!!! KJ "Patti" wrote in message ... Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite. Ugh! There are black clouds all over England. But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes that *we* won last year. Ha! If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who your ancestors were. Huh! gg . In message , CATS writes These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. snipped - jingoistic insults -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#6
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
S'OK, KJ, we understand each other (I hope g). Cricket is 'sacred
ground'; and even more than the rivalry between England and Scotland in football, is the deadly rivalry between Australia and England in Cricket! Thing is, you see, this match was heading for a draw - *we* had made a great start. Then those ***** Aussies bowled us out for a measly score in our second innings, and won. The score is now 2-0 in their favour (ugh!) of a series of five matches. (And, KJ, my BP went up when I heard the almost unbelievable result!) .. In message 1lBdh.261286$FQ1.99149@attbi_s71, KJ writes Oh my! Do I sense a bit of..........bitterness??? g Wow, Cheryl, you got quite a rise out of Pat! Now I wish I understood the whole situation. :-) Now, Pat.......calm down....it's not good for your blood pressure dear. We need you whole and healthy!!!!! KJ -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#7
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Not a loss yet, KJ gg
Three more matches to go! .. In message nnBdh.261289$FQ1.56035@attbi_s71, KJ writes Replying to my own post..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes Now I do understand better. I'm sorry for your loss Pat! And conversely happy for our Aussie friends. KJ -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#8
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Ok, so hang in there! I've taken this in the spirit you've sent. I can
read between the lines....funny frustration! KJ "Patti" wrote in message ... Not a loss yet, KJ gg Three more matches to go! . In message nnBdh.261289$FQ1.56035@attbi_s71, KJ writes Replying to my own post..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes Now I do understand better. I'm sorry for your loss Pat! And conversely happy for our Aussie friends. KJ -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#9
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Here here! lol
-- Estelle UK http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/gal.../ph//my_photos "Patti" wrote in message ... Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite. Ugh! There are black clouds all over England. But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes that *we* won last year. Ha! If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who your ancestors were. Huh! gg . In message , CATS writes These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. snipped - jingoistic insults -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#10
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
CATS wrote:
These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. Another Sad Horrific English Series (ASHES) jokes Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman applying sunscreen. Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat. Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman? A. An allrounder. Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates? A. At least they can say they're not really English. Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick? A. Three runs in three balls. Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A bowler. Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion. Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad? A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats. Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player? A. Because he was born in England. Q. What does "Ashes" stand for? A. Another Sad Horrific English Series. Q. What's the English version of LBW? A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped. Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team? A. The person who ironed the cricket whites. Only those who follow the game of cricket (or live in a Nation ruled by the outcome of this ritualised battle between Aus and Eng) would understand. Personally I never understood the attraction of standing in the middle of a wide open space in 100degree heat for days, any more than I understand the appeal of sitting and watching people doing this. I think the series now stands at two/nil in favour of Aus, with three matches to go - but I'm not interested enough to check. lol Ok ... rub it in! -- Sally at the Seaside ~~~~~~~~~~ (uk) http://community.webshots.com/user/sallyswin |
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