Mini LNS Rant

That's what I call a true addict! Fred - it's all about rotation!

--
Dannielle from NY
http://www.beitzell.com/dannielle/index.htm




"Fred" wrote in message
...
There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest. Yesterday
I
ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another story).
Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30 to 40
mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho bucks
in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3 more
hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be there
within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked.

Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked her if
she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down the
street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery within a
half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping. Have
the
pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my
address.
She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I tell
her
that I'm going to attempt the drive.

After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is
about
1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my DW
shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair
because
she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess. Anyhooo
after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to the
LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is shaking
her
head as I walked in.

I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!! She
tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and leave -
I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was
getting
worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the
drive
way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots.

Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle
cotton -
3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she only
had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is
supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that
skein
and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7 hours
from
now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to be
cleared before I can get out again.

Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton, can't
even get the stuff when one risks life and limb.

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

ROTFLMAO!!!! absolutely priceless, Fred!

--
Star love,
Norma
"Fred" wrote in message
...
There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest. Yesterday
I
ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another story).
Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30 to 40
mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho bucks
in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3 more
hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be there
within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked.

Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked her if
she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down the
street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery within a
half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping. Have
the
pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my
address.
She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I tell
her
that I'm going to attempt the drive.

After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is
about
1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my DW
shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair
because
she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess. Anyhooo
after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to the
LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is shaking
her
head as I walked in.

I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!! She
tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and leave -
I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was
getting
worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the
drive
way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots.

Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle
cotton -
3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she only
had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is
supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that
skein
and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7 hours
from
now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to be
cleared before I can get out again.

Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton, can't
even get the stuff when one risks life and limb.

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

Hi Norma,
Now for the epologue,
Yesterday morning my DW gives me a lesson in central cost accounting finger
style....
Thumb - At least 3 hours of my time wasted. Now that is debateable!
Finger - 1. Cost of at least 3 gallons of gas.
Finger - 2. Cost of at least 3 hours depreciation of the vehicle.
Finger - 3. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the motor and
transmission of the vehicle.
Finger - 4. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the tires.

Thumb - $2.40 plus tax for one skein of perle cotton.
Finger - 1. I forgot to get a pizza.
Finger - 2. Dead silence!

The good news is that the storm blew itself out yesterday morning and I
walked 1/2 mile to another LNS and got the other skein that I needed while
everyone else around here shovelled out the three trucks stuck in the
driveway. The road to that fabric emporium was blocked the night before and
I wasn't about to walk that far in the storm.

Come spring we will all just consider it a minor bump in the road of life
although my DW tends to remind me of the bumps from time to time. Geeeesh
some of those bumps where 40+ years ago. LOL

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

"norma woods" wrote in message
...
ROTFLMAO!!!! absolutely priceless, Fred!

--
Star love,
Norma
"Fred" wrote in message
...
There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest.
Yesterday
I
ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another story).
Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30 to
40
mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho
bucks
in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3 more
hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be
there
within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked.

Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked her
if
she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down
the
street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery within
a
half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping. Have
the
pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my
address.
She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I tell
her
that I'm going to attempt the drive.

After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is
about
1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my DW
shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair
because
she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess. Anyhooo
after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to
the
LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is shaking
her
head as I walked in.

I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!! She
tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and
leave -
I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was
getting
worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the
drive
way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots.

Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle
cotton -
3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she
only
had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is
supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that
skein
and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7 hours
from
now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to be
cleared before I can get out again.

Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton,
can't
even get the stuff when one risks life and limb.

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

Your DW must truly love you. You forgot to get a pizza and you are
still alive?!? You do take the biscuit, Fred!

My friend who used to deliver pizzas told me she expected to receive
tips of $20 and up (each) when making deliveries during a blizzard. If
you had remembered the pizza, you could tell your wife you got off cheap...

Fred wrote:
Hi Norma,
Now for the epologue,
Yesterday morning my DW gives me a lesson in central cost accounting finger
style....
Thumb - At least 3 hours of my time wasted. Now that is debateable!
Finger - 1. Cost of at least 3 gallons of gas.
Finger - 2. Cost of at least 3 hours depreciation of the vehicle.
Finger - 3. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the motor and
transmission of the vehicle.
Finger - 4. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the tires.

Thumb - $2.40 plus tax for one skein of perle cotton.
Finger - 1. I forgot to get a pizza.
Finger - 2. Dead silence!

--
Brenda Lewis
WIP: "Pink Baby" photo frame, Candamar

The good news is that the storm blew itself out yesterday morning and I
walked 1/2 mile to another LNS and got the other skein that I needed while
everyone else around here shovelled out the three trucks stuck in the
driveway. The road to that fabric emporium was blocked the night before and
I wasn't about to walk that far in the storm.

Fred
Sheesh!!! If I had an LNS 1/2 mile away, I would have made some snowshoes
to get there! :-))) Our mailbox alone is 1/2 mile away, with a 200 foot
climb in 1/4 mile to deal with. :-))))) I've considered sliding down the
last 1/4 mile on an innertube or something (on our whole 3 inches of snow) ,
but it would be way too embarrassing to have to explain if I got hurt. :-)))
Not complaining, mind you, we love living out here in the sticks, just
chuckling over not wanting to go 1/2 mile to an LNS. It must be some wicked
1/2 mile if you were willing to drive the other direction to the other
store. :-))))))
Liz from Humbug

What a wonderful story, Fred! LOL I've really enjoyed your style of writing.
Hope you keep up with your writing. ;-)

--
Star love,
Norma
"Fred" wrote in message
...
Hi Norma,
Now for the epologue,
Yesterday morning my DW gives me a lesson in central cost accounting
finger
style....
Thumb - At least 3 hours of my time wasted. Now that is debateable!
Finger - 1. Cost of at least 3 gallons of gas.
Finger - 2. Cost of at least 3 hours depreciation of the vehicle.
Finger - 3. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the motor and
transmission of the vehicle.
Finger - 4. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the tires.

Thumb - $2.40 plus tax for one skein of perle cotton.
Finger - 1. I forgot to get a pizza.
Finger - 2. Dead silence!

The good news is that the storm blew itself out yesterday morning and I
walked 1/2 mile to another LNS and got the other skein that I needed while
everyone else around here shovelled out the three trucks stuck in the
driveway. The road to that fabric emporium was blocked the night before
and
I wasn't about to walk that far in the storm.

Come spring we will all just consider it a minor bump in the road of life
although my DW tends to remind me of the bumps from time to time. Geeeesh
some of those bumps where 40+ years ago. LOL

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

"norma woods" wrote in message
...
ROTFLMAO!!!! absolutely priceless, Fred!

--
Star love,
Norma
"Fred" wrote in message
...
There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest.
Yesterday
I
ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another
story).
Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30
to
40
mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho
bucks
in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3
more
hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be
there
within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked.

Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked
her
if
she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down
the
street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery
within
a
half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping.
Have
the
pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my
address.
She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I
tell
her
that I'm going to attempt the drive.

After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is
about
1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my
DW
shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair
because
she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess.
Anyhooo
after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to
the
LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is
shaking
her
head as I walked in.

I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!!
She
tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and
leave -
I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was
getting
worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the
drive
way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots.

Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle
cotton -
3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she
only
had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is
supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that
skein
and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7
hours
from
now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to
be
cleared before I can get out again.

Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton,
can't
even get the stuff when one risks life and limb.

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

I should add a ps to the story?? OK, I take my 2 skeins of perle cotton and
put them in my stash cupboard right beside the o.............

The remainder let's just blame on writers block since this isn't a
confessional booth. LOL

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

"norma woods" wrote in message
.. .
What a wonderful story, Fred! LOL I've really enjoyed your style of
writing.
Hope you keep up with your writing. ;-)

--
Star love,
Norma
"Fred" wrote in message
...
Hi Norma,
Now for the epologue,
Yesterday morning my DW gives me a lesson in central cost accounting
finger
style....
Thumb - At least 3 hours of my time wasted. Now that is debateable!
Finger - 1. Cost of at least 3 gallons of gas.
Finger - 2. Cost of at least 3 hours depreciation of the vehicle.
Finger - 3. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the motor and
transmission of the vehicle.
Finger - 4. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the tires.

Thumb - $2.40 plus tax for one skein of perle cotton.
Finger - 1. I forgot to get a pizza.
Finger - 2. Dead silence!

The good news is that the storm blew itself out yesterday morning and I
walked 1/2 mile to another LNS and got the other skein that I needed
while
everyone else around here shovelled out the three trucks stuck in the
driveway. The road to that fabric emporium was blocked the night before
and
I wasn't about to walk that far in the storm.

Come spring we will all just consider it a minor bump in the road of
life
although my DW tends to remind me of the bumps from time to time.
Geeeesh
some of those bumps where 40+ years ago. LOL

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

"norma woods" wrote in message
...
ROTFLMAO!!!! absolutely priceless, Fred!

--
Star love,
Norma
"Fred" wrote in message
...
There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest.
Yesterday
I
ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another
story).
Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30
to
40
mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho
bucks
in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3
more
hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be
there
within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked.

Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked
her
if
she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet
down
the
street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery
within
a
half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping.
Have
the
pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my
address.
She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I
tell
her
that I'm going to attempt the drive.

After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow
is
about
1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice
my
DW
shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair
because
she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess.
Anyhooo
after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get
to
the
LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is
shaking
her
head as I walked in.

I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!!
She
tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and
leave -
I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was
getting
worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into
the
drive
way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots.

Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle
cotton -
3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she
only
had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which
is
supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up
that
skein
and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7
hours
from
now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have
to
be
cleared before I can get out again.

Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton,
can't
even get the stuff when one risks life and limb.

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

"Brenda Lewis" wrote in message
...
Your DW must truly love you. You forgot to get a pizza and you are
still alive?!? You do take the biscuit, Fred!

My friend who used to deliver pizzas told me she expected to receive
tips of $20 and up (each) when making deliveries during a blizzard. If
you had remembered the pizza, you could tell your wife you got off
cheap...


When one suddenly comes on snow drifts that are over 18" deep without a 4x4
one justs mutters a few hail marthas, closes one's eyes and hopes for devine
deliverance. Pizza is the last thing on one's mind.LOL

$20 tip for delivering a pizza - geeeeeeeesh - I'm in the wrong business.

Fred
http://www.stitchaway.com

If you are on thin ice
you might as well dance!

W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof".
W.I.L., "Romantic Venice",
"Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm",
"Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth",
"Spirit of the Full Moon"
and "+?", "+?", "+?".

Au contraire! It would have taken my old car so long to make such a
trip that I would be starving and in desperate need of a bathroom by the
time I got to the shop. It is {gasp, shock, horror} entirely possible I
would remember the pizza and forget to pick up the perle.

Not really an outrageous tip considering you are risking your life and
your vehicle in those conditions. OTOH, she sure liked bringing home
$600 cash for a night's work and it was a job she could tell her mother
about!

Fred wrote:
When one suddenly comes on snow drifts that are over 18" deep without a 4x4
one justs mutters a few hail marthas, closes one's eyes and hopes for devine
deliverance. Pizza is the last thing on one's mind.LOL

$20 tip for delivering a pizza - geeeeeeeesh - I'm in the wrong business.

--
Brenda Lewis
WIP: "Pink Baby" photo frame, Candamar

I just have one question. What are you stitching that you were able to
use an entire skein of perle floss in one day? Even when I spend an
entire day stitching hardanger I think I would be hard pressed to use
that much floss. I think it's a good thing I don't live as close to my
LNS as you live to yours otherwise I would have a whole lot more stash.
It's bad enough that I can arrange my drive home from work to go right
past my LNS and not have to go out of my way.

Anne (in Ellicott City, MD)