Popular Misconception *a rant about group policy*

Why do you feel it's up to you to ask what we want? It seems to me we've
done OK over the past few years. If you don't like how we post, maybe you
should follow the suggestion to join another group. Personally, I'm sick of
you posting in a policing mode. I certainly feel sorry for anyone that
makes a mistake and posts something you don't feel is right. If we wanted a
police state, we'd move on to another area!
Gen

"Diana Curtis" wrote in message
...
I agree, and that is why I asked people what they wanted. I asked them to
police themselves. I offered my vision of the group as a quilt lesson
because this is a big part of what I get from the group, quilt
instructions,
and I personally find ads a disruption to the learning and the
companionship
from the group. I didnt speak for anyone else. I dont presume to tell
others
how to run their group. If you reread my post you will see that I did not
tell anyone how to behave.
Diana

"Judy Grevenites" wrote in message
...
I seldom post here anymore,--RCTQ has changed a lot and I don't
particularly like the direction it is drifting in. I am getting cranky
in my old age and I just don't like being irritated by people who
presume to speak for everyone.

Diane, you are a funny, kind and knowing person and I have enjoyed some
of your posts--but you have a tendency to presume that your vision of
the group is the only version.

The advertising issue will always be with us because of the different
perceptions of what is and isn't "selling". That, and the fact that
new people are always popping in and out and haven't a clue about what
"offends" us ensures that we will always have advertising. If it is
something blatent we usually just ignore it--as we do the odd bit of
porn that finds it's way here. If it is just a newby making a mistake,
a gentle EXPLAINATION suffices. We don't need to come down on someone,
wielding the sword of justice, and chop off their head

If anyone is more comfortable in a moderated group---by all means, go
there and enjoy. There are lot of 'em. RCTQ is self policing and we do
OK. RedQueen

What I don't think is ok is for us to start attacking each other. I'm speaking in
generalities, but your post did spark the thought. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm
singling you out. Not my intention. I think this is a controversial subject, and
there has been a lot of misunderstanding, but in the big picture, is it so important?
I'd much rather see us banding together making HUGs, seeing us make beautiful quilts,
and speaking kindly to each other. There's enough negativity in the world, and it
doesn't need to find it's way in here. I bring this up, because I just spent the
last week sitting with a friend who is dying of cancer. That totally shadows
anything to do with posting ads, personal preferences or annoyances. The last thing
I'd want to do is belittle someone, or use my words to invalidate their feelings. I
honestly know that Diana feels this way, too. Sometimes words come out wrong, and
totally not as we intend them. Like for me, right now. I don't know if I'm getting
my point across, but I'm doing the best I can.

So....what are you working on?

--
Jalynne - Keeper of the Quilt for ME club list
Queen Gypsy (snail mail available upon request)
see what i've been up to at www.100megsfree4.com/jalynne

"Don/Gen" wrote in message
...
Why do you feel it's up to you to ask what we want? It seems to me we've
done OK over the past few years. If you don't like how we post, maybe you
should follow the suggestion to join another group. Personally, I'm sick of
you posting in a policing mode. I certainly feel sorry for anyone that
makes a mistake and posts something you don't feel is right. If we wanted a
police state, we'd move on to another area!
Gen

"Diana Curtis" wrote in message
...
I agree, and that is why I asked people what they wanted. I asked them to
police themselves. I offered my vision of the group as a quilt lesson
because this is a big part of what I get from the group, quilt
instructions,
and I personally find ads a disruption to the learning and the
companionship
from the group. I didnt speak for anyone else. I dont presume to tell
others
how to run their group. If you reread my post you will see that I did not
tell anyone how to behave.
Diana

"Judy Grevenites" wrote in message
...
I seldom post here anymore,--RCTQ has changed a lot and I don't
particularly like the direction it is drifting in. I am getting cranky
in my old age and I just don't like being irritated by people who
presume to speak for everyone.

Diane, you are a funny, kind and knowing person and I have enjoyed some
of your posts--but you have a tendency to presume that your vision of
the group is the only version.

The advertising issue will always be with us because of the different
perceptions of what is and isn't "selling". That, and the fact that
new people are always popping in and out and haven't a clue about what
"offends" us ensures that we will always have advertising. If it is
something blatent we usually just ignore it--as we do the odd bit of
porn that finds it's way here. If it is just a newby making a mistake,
a gentle EXPLAINATION suffices. We don't need to come down on someone,
wielding the sword of justice, and chop off their head

If anyone is more comfortable in a moderated group---by all means, go
there and enjoy. There are lot of 'em. RCTQ is self policing and we do
OK. RedQueen

Word and amen.


Why do you feel it's up to you to ask what we want? It seems to me we've
done OK over the past few years. If you don't like how we post, maybe you
should follow the suggestion to join another group. Personally, I'm sick of
you posting in a policing mode. I certainly feel sorry for anyone that
makes a mistake and posts something you don't feel is right. If we wanted a
police state, we'd move on to another area!
Gen

Bless you for putting the way I feel into words.



The advertising issue will always be with us because of the different
perceptions of what is and isn't "selling". That, and the fact that
new people are always popping in and out and haven't a clue about what
"offends" us ensures that we will always have advertising. If it is
something blatent we usually just ignore it--as we do the odd bit of
porn that finds it's way here. If it is just a newby making a mistake,
a gentle EXPLAINATION suffices. We don't need to come down on someone,
wielding the sword of justice, and chop off their head

If anyone is more comfortable in a moderated group---by all means, go
there and enjoy. There are lot of 'em. RCTQ is self policing and we do
OK. RedQueen

Sorry, if this was the case, her post wouldn't have been laced with hostility.
Nor would I have been given the distinct impression of someone trying to rail
the rest of us into her idea of what this group is or should be. The fact that
so many of us picked up on this intent in her post tells me I didn't miss the
point or misunderstand anything.

Perhaps the person who is missing the point is you.

I think you missed Diana's point.

She was trying to get us to think about it, not to enforce or define
anything.

She was
trying to get us to think about it,

What makes her (and you, apparently) believe we don't think about it? Just
because the majority of us don't go into control freak mode and post tirades
doesn't mean we don't think about the things that bother us here nor does it
mean we don't address the issue. I myself prefer to deal with the problem in a
less offensive and less intrusive manner than Diana does. That doesn't mean I'm
thoughtless.

you look back at a lot of her originating posts, they are often
deep, thought provoking

I don't like being patronized and I also don't like being told what something
is. What you found deep and thought provoking I found to be aggressive and mean
spirited, not to mention presumptuous and phrased in a way to inflame and hurt.
Trollish behavior at the very least and I'm discouraged to see you defend and
misrepresent both the actual post and the clear intention behind it.

I don't post often but I read here almost every day. I am not only able to read
for myself, I can also perceive and discernfor myself and I at this point, I
feel compelled to speak up because I am beginning to feel railroaded by you and
Diana as to what I should not only write and behave, but also as to what I
should feel, say, think and believe about the things I see written here. You
may not call yourself quilt police or moderators, but that surely is your
implied intent and goal. To claim otherwise, no matter how articulately or
eloquently, is specious and dishonest.

Could SOMEONE please show me where I chopped anyones head off? And just
where did I tell anyone what to think or do? Im seeing people tell me Im a
nasty person and unkind. The only unkind thing Im seeing is posts from
people who did not understand my original post. I didnt attack anyone. You
wouldnt believe the pain this whole mess is causing me. I just do not tell
people what to do. Believe it or not, the truth is the truth.
When I ask my attackers where they see that I attacked anyone they fall
silent. So, please, someone point this out to me? Jan, Judy, Gen? Would you
please stop calling me nasty names and just explain what is really bothering
you?
Diana

"Judy Grevenites" wrote in message
...
I seldom post here anymore,--RCTQ has changed a lot and I don't
particularly like the direction it is drifting in. I am getting cranky
in my old age and I just don't like being irritated by people who
presume to speak for everyone.

Diane, you are a funny, kind and knowing person and I have enjoyed some
of your posts--but you have a tendency to presume that your vision of
the group is the only version.

The advertising issue will always be with us because of the different
perceptions of what is and isn't "selling". That, and the fact that
new people are always popping in and out and haven't a clue about what
"offends" us ensures that we will always have advertising. If it is
something blatent we usually just ignore it--as we do the odd bit of
porn that finds it's way here. If it is just a newby making a mistake,
a gentle EXPLAINATION suffices. We don't need to come down on someone,
wielding the sword of justice, and chop off their head

If anyone is more comfortable in a moderated group---by all means, go
there and enjoy. There are lot of 'em. RCTQ is self policing and we do
OK. RedQueen

Diana dear,

May I gently suggest you do what I am about to to. Stop reading anything more
that is posted in this thread. I understand, I hope, what you meant in your
original post and found it innocuous and helpful. But this has gotten totally
out of hand now, so I am going to let it go and I hope you will too. Move on,
and go do something quilty. Me, I am off to start MQing the Sushi Car quilt.
--
Anne in CA
"It's not having what you want; it's wanting what you've got." -- Sheryl Crow
http://home.covad.net/~arudolph/annes.htm



Diana Curtis wrote:

Could SOMEONE please show me where I chopped anyones head off? And just
where did I tell anyone what to think or do? Im seeing people tell me Im a
nasty person and unkind. The only unkind thing Im seeing is posts from
people who did not understand my original post. I didnt attack anyone. You
wouldnt believe the pain this whole mess is causing me. I just do not tell
people what to do. Believe it or not, the truth is the truth.
When I ask my attackers where they see that I attacked anyone they fall
silent. So, please, someone point this out to me? Jan, Judy, Gen? Would you
please stop calling me nasty names and just explain what is really bothering
you?
Diana

"Judy Grevenites" wrote in message
...
I seldom post here anymore,--RCTQ has changed a lot and I don't
particularly like the direction it is drifting in. I am getting cranky
in my old age and I just don't like being irritated by people who
presume to speak for everyone.

Diane, you are a funny, kind and knowing person and I have enjoyed some
of your posts--but you have a tendency to presume that your vision of
the group is the only version.

The advertising issue will always be with us because of the different
perceptions of what is and isn't "selling". That, and the fact that
new people are always popping in and out and haven't a clue about what
"offends" us ensures that we will always have advertising. If it is
something blatent we usually just ignore it--as we do the odd bit of
porn that finds it's way here. If it is just a newby making a mistake,
a gentle EXPLAINATION suffices. We don't need to come down on someone,
wielding the sword of justice, and chop off their head

If anyone is more comfortable in a moderated group---by all means, go
there and enjoy. There are lot of 'em. RCTQ is self policing and we do
OK. RedQueen




remove NOSPAM to reply

Diana,

don't worry, you are not nasty or unkind. You are opinnionated and you
said what you think. I can totally relate to that. People don't have to
do what you say, so I don't see why they get so upset by your
comments.... it is not as if you are determining the direction this
newsgroup goes towards. If they want to take it into a different
direction, all it takes is to post different toned messages and change it!

Diana Curtis wrote:

Could SOMEONE please show me where I chopped anyones head off? And just
where did I tell anyone what to think or do? Im seeing people tell me Im a
nasty person and unkind. The only unkind thing Im seeing is posts from
people who did not understand my original post. I didnt attack anyone. You
wouldnt believe the pain this whole mess is causing me. I just do not tell
people what to do. Believe it or not, the truth is the truth.
When I ask my attackers where they see that I attacked anyone they fall
silent. So, please, someone point this out to me? Jan, Judy, Gen? Would you
please stop calling me nasty names and just explain what is really bothering
you?
Diana


--
Dr. Quilter
http://community.webshots.com/user/mvignali
(take the dog out before replying)

I have to say I am a bit boggled by the amount of hostility some
people are displaying.
I didn't see anything hostile about your original post.
I didn't see where you attacked anyone at all.

I read and post in groups where you would be reprimanded for your
sympathy and tolerance had you posted the original there instead of
here.
I don't think anyone here has ever seen what can happen to a group if
adverts are allowed to run unchecked. It is why some groups have very
hardcore no commercial posts policies. With this group's subject and
hierarchy I doubt we are in as much danger of what has happened to
some groups on other subjects in other hierarchies, but it would be
good if we all at least thought about what we consider acceptable and
unacceptable as regards clearly commercial postings. I have seen
groups that became so overrun by spam and adverts that they were no
longer readable. It is a thing to be taken seriously. Also, people
should not be encouraged to violate the TOS of their isp's or any
commercial hosting sites that they use. We may be tolerant here but
other groups or venues are not, and encourageing someone in that way
may result in their losing their service or privleges if they try it
elsewhere.
Your reminder to the person posting about their Ebay auction was only
reasonable. There is another (appropriate) venue for such postings
and they are neither a regular here nor did they ask permission to
post about their auction, so a warning with no action was only _kind_
of you. Other people in other places would have simply made a
complaint that would have gotten the account cancelled. You pointed
out the error with the reason instead of complaining, it was nice of
you though others may disagree. If people who regularly engage in
commercial activities try advertising in apparently ontopic newsgroups
regularly without permission or clue, they will eventually lose their
isp. It is a fact of life, we may not zap them here, but other groups
will. You may not like seeing people say anything about adverts, the
choice comes down to say something here or let somebody else elsewhere
do something as they see fit. Which may be considerably less nice.

If I may suggest, posts dealing with use policy re this usenet group
should have a tag in the subject line so people may read or not as
they wish, or at least know it refers to online use stuff instead of
quilting. Some groups use META for such things, we could use that or
come up with something as simple as POLICY, or DONTHURTME, or whatever
works for an apparent majority of posters here.

I have also reinserted the OT tag on this post. As others have
mentioned please please avoid the the use of the colon ( : ) in your
subject line as outlook express will strip anything prior to a colon
in the subject line, and a lot of people use OE.

The opinions expressed here are mine, YMMV.

NightMist
How curious, someone has run afoul of the cancelmoose

On Sun, 29 Aug 2004 09:42:20 -0500, "Diana Curtis"
wrote:

Could SOMEONE please show me where I chopped anyones head off? And just
where did I tell anyone what to think or do? Im seeing people tell me Im a
nasty person and unkind. The only unkind thing Im seeing is posts from
people who did not understand my original post. I didnt attack anyone. You
wouldnt believe the pain this whole mess is causing me. I just do not tell
people what to do. Believe it or not, the truth is the truth.
When I ask my attackers where they see that I attacked anyone they fall
silent. So, please, someone point this out to me? Jan, Judy, Gen? Would you
please stop calling me nasty names and just explain what is really bothering
you?
Diana

"Judy Grevenites" wrote in message
...
I seldom post here anymore,--RCTQ has changed a lot and I don't
particularly like the direction it is drifting in. I am getting cranky
in my old age and I just don't like being irritated by people who
presume to speak for everyone.

Diane, you are a funny, kind and knowing person and I have enjoyed some
of your posts--but you have a tendency to presume that your vision of
the group is the only version.

The advertising issue will always be with us because of the different
perceptions of what is and isn't "selling". That, and the fact that
new people are always popping in and out and haven't a clue about what
"offends" us ensures that we will always have advertising. If it is
something blatent we usually just ignore it--as we do the odd bit of
porn that finds it's way here. If it is just a newby making a mistake,
a gentle EXPLAINATION suffices. We don't need to come down on someone,
wielding the sword of justice, and chop off their head

If anyone is more comfortable in a moderated group---by all means, go
there and enjoy. There are lot of 'em. RCTQ is self policing and we do
OK. RedQueen




--
"It's such a gamble when you get a face"
- Richard Hell