ot- a cat's New Year's resolutions

The following list was forwarded to me - some of them could work in my
home - most of them would not....I found Winston on the kitchen
counter yesterday (a no-no) where he was quite happily chewing on the
bananas and licking the skins. He has always been attracted to
organic items and loves to climb into the fridge to check out the vege
bins. I doubt that he would make any resolutions to alter his
behaviour though - he likes being who he is - I wouldn't change him
either. jennellh

My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace
with that.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and
throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of
Roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then
pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get
the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to
sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I
forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch
in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is
something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human
has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will
really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt
to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family
room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a
hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after
my human has watched a horror movie.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and
growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.

I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the
top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and
stare until they wake up.

I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important
adagfsg gdjag ;ln.

If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the
scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more
socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

I must not leave muddy paw prints in the toilet after having a drink
of water.

You *know* how dear I think Winston is. If he has a whim for some fresh
fruit, perhaps he'd like some minced apple. It doesn't take a lot, just a
teaspoon or two will be fine. It's a little trouble to keep an apple set
aside for Winston, and, of course, you will want to remove the browned part
but he doesn't care how much trouble it is. Apple is very good for a
kitty's digestive system. Our Sweet Pea loved his Apple time everyday.
After all, Winston is entitled. Rub those whiskers for Aunt Polly.


"jennellh" wrote in message
...
The following list was forwarded to me - some of them could work in my
home - most of them would not....I found Winston on the kitchen
counter yesterday (a no-no) where he was quite happily chewing on the
bananas and licking the skins. He has always been attracted to
organic items and loves to climb into the fridge to check out the vege
bins. I doubt that he would make any resolutions to alter his
behaviour though - he likes being who he is - I wouldn't change him
either. jennellh

My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace
with that.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and
throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of
Roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then
pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get
the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to
sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I
forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch
in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is
something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human
has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will
really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt
to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family
room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a
hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after
my human has watched a horror movie.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and
growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.

I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the
top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and
stare until they wake up.

I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important
adagfsg gdjag ;ln.

If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the
scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more
socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

I must not leave muddy paw prints in the toilet after having a drink
of water.

So cute!!

I'm amazed that my current cat roommate does not jump up on the kitchen
counter. I can leave an open can of cat food there, and he won't jump up.
He does run from one end of the apartment to the other chasing the bluejays.
He also gets caught behind open doors. I'll partially close the bedroom door
to hang my robe on the hook on the back. He gets caught between the wall
and the door and doesn't know to push on the door to get out.

--
Kay Ahr in NV
http://community.webshots.com/user/kayahr
to respond to me directly, remove "WESTHI" from the email address


"jennellh" wrote in message
...
The following list was forwarded to me - some of them could work in my
home - most of them would not....I found Winston on the kitchen
counter yesterday (a no-no) where he was quite happily chewing on the
bananas and licking the skins. He has always been attracted to
organic items and loves to climb into the fridge to check out the vege
bins. I doubt that he would make any resolutions to alter his
behaviour though - he likes being who he is - I wouldn't change him
either. jennellh

My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace
with that.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and
throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of
Roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then
pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get
the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to
sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I
forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch
in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is
something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human
has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will
really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt
to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family
room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a
hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after
my human has watched a horror movie.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and
growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.

I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the
top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and
stare until they wake up.

I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important
adagfsg gdjag ;ln.

If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the
scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more
socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

I must not leave muddy paw prints in the toilet after having a drink
of water.

While I don't have (and never have had) a cat, I feel compelled to
comment.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.


Here in the desert, checking every door wouldn't be so silly, as it can
be raining in one spot of the area and not right across the street (or
on the other side of the house)!

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a
hammock.

Hmmm ... I might add that a quilting frame is also *not* a hammock.

--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
sw.foster1 (at) gmail (dot) com (remove/change the obvious)
http://www.sandymike.net

Yup. It rains on the living room side (north) of my apartment but not on
the bedroom side (south). I'm the one who tends to get up to see what the
sky is like on all sides.

--
Kay Ahr in NV
http://community.webshots.com/user/kayahr
to respond to me directly, remove "WESTHI" from the email address


"Sandy" wrote in message
...
While I don't have (and never have had) a cat, I feel compelled to
comment.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.


Here in the desert, checking every door wouldn't be so silly, as it can
be raining in one spot of the area and not right across the street (or
on the other side of the house)!

Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
sw.foster1 (at) gmail (dot) com (remove/change the obvious)
http://www.sandymike.net

It was my cat Charlie who loved to share an apple with me (he lived to
be 25yo) and Winston's breath would definitely by better with fruit
over onions....jennellh


On Dec 17, 12:05 am, "Polly Esther" wrote:
You *know* how dear I think Winston is. If he has a whim for some fresh
fruit, perhaps he'd like some minced apple. It doesn't take a lot, just a
teaspoon or two will be fine. It's a little trouble to keep an apple set
aside for Winston, and, of course, you will want to remove the browned part
but he doesn't care how much trouble it is. Apple is very good for a
kitty's digestive system. Our Sweet Pea loved his Apple time everyday.
After all, Winston is entitled. Rub those whiskers for Aunt Polly.

"jennellh" wrote in message

...



The following list was forwarded to me - some of them could work in my
home - most of them would not....I found Winston on the kitchen
counter yesterday (a no-no) where he was quite happily chewing on the
bananas and licking the skins. He has always been attracted to
organic items and loves to climb into the fridge to check out the vege
bins. I doubt that he would make any resolutions to alter his
behaviour though - he likes being who he is - I wouldn't change him
either. jennellh

My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace
with that.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and
throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of
Roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then
pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get
the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to
sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I
forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch
in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is
something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human
has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will
really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt
to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family
room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a
hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after
my human has watched a horror movie.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and
growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.

I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the
top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and
stare until they wake up.

I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important
adagfsg gdjag ;ln.

If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the
scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more
socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

I must not leave muddy paw prints in the toilet after having a drink
of water.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Sometimes, a cat only knows how to move forward - reverse mode doesn't
exist - pushing or pulling on doors can be used as a game ploy to keep
them occupied for a very long time. jennellh

On Dec 17, 7:20 am, "Kay Ahr" wrote:
So cute!!

I'm amazed that my current cat roommate does not jump up on the kitchen
counter. I can leave an open can of cat food there, and he won't jump up.
He does run from one end of the apartment to the other chasing the bluejays.
He also gets caught behind open doors. I'll partially close the bedroom door
to hang my robe on the hook on the back. He gets caught between the wall
and the door and doesn't know to push on the door to get out.

--
Kay Ahr in NVhttp://community.webshots.com/user/kayahr
to respond to me directly, remove "WESTHI" from the email address

"jennellh" wrote in message

...



The following list was forwarded to me - some of them could work in my
home - most of them would not....I found Winston on the kitchen
counter yesterday (a no-no) where he was quite happily chewing on the
bananas and licking the skins. He has always been attracted to
organic items and loves to climb into the fridge to check out the vege
bins. I doubt that he would make any resolutions to alter his
behaviour though - he likes being who he is - I wouldn't change him
either. jennellh

My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace
with that.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and
throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of
Roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then
pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get
the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to
sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I
forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch
in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is
something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human
has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will
really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt
to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family
room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a
hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after
my human has watched a horror movie.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and
growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.

I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the
top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and
stare until they wake up.

I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important
adagfsg gdjag ;ln.

If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the
scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more
socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

I must not leave muddy paw prints in the toilet after having a drink
of water.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Winston and Katie are the 2 cats who don't object to sharing space
with my arms and the laptop - I can only support them for a short time
and then they must leave.

After a kitchen experience yesterday, I'll add this to the list: I
will not jump on the back of my owner while she has a pair of scissors
in her hand whether she is cutting crinkly wax paper or not.

Yes, it was Winston who wanted a birdseye view of my activities (I was
cutting round liners for cookie tins).

jennellh


On Dec 17, 1:30 pm, Sandy wrote:
While I don't have (and never have had) a cat, I feel compelled to
comment.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

Here in the desert, checking every door wouldn't be so silly, as it can
be raining in one spot of the area and not right across the street (or
on the other side of the house)!

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a
hammock.

Hmmm ... I might add that a quilting frame is also *not* a hammock.

--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
sw.foster1 (at) gmail (dot) com (remove/change the obvious)http://www.sandymike.net

Jennell, I am printing out this list for the entertainment of my mother and
the edification of my cat. LOLOL!

--
Carolyn in The Old Pueblo

If it ain't broke, you're not trying. --Red Green
If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. --Carolyn McCarty

If at first you don't succeed, switch to power tools. --Red Green
If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer. --Carolyn McCarty

"jennellh" wrote in message
...
The following list was forwarded to me - some of them could work in my
home - most of them would not....I found Winston on the kitchen
counter yesterday (a no-no) where he was quite happily chewing on the
bananas and licking the skins. He has always been attracted to
organic items and loves to climb into the fridge to check out the vege
bins. I doubt that he would make any resolutions to alter his
behaviour though - he likes being who he is - I wouldn't change him
either. jennellh

My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace
with that.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and
throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of
Roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then
pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get
the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to
sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I
forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch
in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is
something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human
has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will
really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt
to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family
room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a
hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after
my human has watched a horror movie.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and
growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.

I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the
top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and
stare until they wake up.

I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important
adagfsg gdjag ;ln.

If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the
scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more
socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

I must not leave muddy paw prints in the toilet after having a drink
of water.

Cat and Fish

Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor
peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster
was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My
goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a
goldfish, isn't it?" Little Timmy patted down the last heap of earth
then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."


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