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#71
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
On Mon, 28 Aug 2006 10:12:24 -0500, Tricia wrote
(in article . com): Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia I learned to put on makeup at lots of slumber parties, and yes, sometimes ended up looking like a clown. But for your immediate situation, may I suggest sitting down with someone who sells Mary Kay or Avon or something similar. The consultants can often teach you how to apply the makeup. Maureen |
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OT Fixing Tricia WAS OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Okay, I'm overwhelmed! I tried individually replying last night and my
newsserver yelled at me that I'd posted more than I was allowed to and it wouldn't let me post anything else (while I'm typing I don't even know if this will go through but if you see it, it did). Thank you! Please don't snap at each other. No, I'm not asking anywhere else -- I have no where else I even feel remotely comfortable asking. I guess I'll have to do a more generalized response -- which I guess is good so I won't be repeating myself as much. 1. I had DH take a picture this morning (neck down) of what I wore to my last interview -- I'm having trouble getting yahoo photo to go to the upload page at the moment. One thing I noticed in the picture was that I didn't take the ponytail holder off my wrist when he took the picture -- BUT I *KNOW* I took it off before the interview because I specifically made sure I did and left it at home so I couldn't inadvertently put it back on my wrist or even worse, in my hair. When I get that picture figured out and uploaded, I'll post. I feel comfortable that what I wore was nice, professional comfortable. I would initially have had a tough time coming up with more outfits to wear during the week until I could go shopping but I could have come up with something. 2. I did not have him take a picture that included my face and hair -- I was freshly scrubbed for the interview and not so today before 8 in the morning. 3. I remembered this morning that I had worn lipstick to the most recent interview and my hair was freshly washed (not dripping wet but perhaps a tad still damp -- it was a humid day), I had used a styling agent in it (I'm not real good at that but at least this time it didn't make my hair heavier again - unfortunately, it didn't help much with the humidity frizz either) no headband, no ponytail (those concerns came up mostly because if I get a job, I know that's probably what I'll wind up reverting to when I feel comfortable) 4. No mall listed closer than Traverse City -- guess the make up counter somewhere will be a bit. 5. Checked online (as best I could) and found no MK reps in Petoskey but I'll still ask around -- maybe someone knows one in the immediate area that I'm not familiar with being in the immediate area (probably didn't make any sense...basically I'm not real familiar with what is close and what isn't up here) 6. Volunteering -- I currently volunteer at the public library in the children's department doing database entry, etc. I like the individuals there but I wouldn't consider any a *friend* in the sense that I need one right now. Guild meeting should be the evening of the second Wed of the Month so I'll see about trying that out again. I was so intimidated and felt out of place when I went before -- it was my first meeting and I didn't know what to expect and what I found didn't meet what I wanted, etc. Okay, I just called and left a message for Pastor at church remindering her again that I had volunteered to work on getting a web page up and running so we'll see. 7. Shopping -- for clothes, make up, etc. Hard to do when the funds aren't there (we are so far in debt due to student loans, moving expenses, previous bad spending habits, etc.) and yet, hard not to do when needed for a good image for work. I have to stick with relatively easy to afford items right now and make do. 8. Nails -- got pictures of them too to share when things communicate properly. okay, I've run out of responses at the moment, now I'm praying this let's me post....thank you for the support, the suggestions, letting me know I'm not the only one. Tricia |
#73
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
On Mon, 28 Aug 2006 15:55:37 GMT, Georg wrote:
Tricia wrote: Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? I learned 75% of my make up expertise in the theater. Me too. The rest I picked up watching my mom or my older sister or my friends. Here we diverge. I grew up belonging to a church that didn't even allow wedding rings until the 70's. One of the ladies wore false nails to church once and it was a 90 days scandal. I started wearing mascara to school when I was about 14 and ended up in an intervention, darn near got myself exorcised in fact. I've learned to do make-up pretty well. I would say the biggest problem, and I know that this is one shared by a LOT of people, is the light in the area where you are putting it on. You get used to it, then you change lightbulbs and find yourself out of doors in sunlight looking like you have either put on a trollop face or forgotten to put on any make-up at all. Get thee a color corrected true light bulb and put it where you do your make up. Then practce. Make-up washes off, so put some on everyday, even when you are staying in by yourself. Put it on, take it off, get comfortable with it. So far as self teaching, go to the library and see if they have any books by Kevyn Aucoin. Excellent books by an excellent make-up artist. So far as hair, I hate hate hate having short hair. I cannot abide it hanging all over my face, sticking to my neck, and when it is short it tends to frizz up. So I keep it long and it stays where I put it, or I can simply tie it back, or I can make an up do as fancy as I need it. Very definitely a YMMV situation. My hair is not very amenable to being styled. NightMist -- The wolf that understands fire has much to eat. |
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OT Fixing Tricia
Pics are in -- had to use a different account than the one I wanted
to...oh well....I don't know if it is color true or not in the pictures so in the outfit one -- waist down is all navy not black. Tricia http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/chirparrooo/my_photos |
#75
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OT Fixing Tricia WAS OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Tricia - are you looking for a teaching job or a job in a school? I am
on our district's district-wide interview committee and on the school's committee. Maybe I can help you since I know what different people are looking for in candidates. Although first impressions do count, we also REALLY listen to what people are saying. Anything distracting distracts the listener from what you are saying. We interviewed on candidate with a snake tatoo around her ankle and up her leg. It was noticed as soon as she walked in and was what people remembered about her. They didn't really recall her qualifications or what she said in response to questions. Linda PATCHogue, NY On 29 Aug 2006 06:22:33 -0700, "Tricia" wrote: Okay, I'm overwhelmed! I tried individually replying last night and my newsserver yelled at me that I'd posted more than I was allowed to and it wouldn't let me post anything else (while I'm typing I don't even know if this will go through but if you see it, it did). Thank you! Please don't snap at each other. No, I'm not asking anywhere else -- I have no where else I even feel remotely comfortable asking. I guess I'll have to do a more generalized response -- which I guess is good so I won't be repeating myself as much. 1. I had DH take a picture this morning (neck down) of what I wore to my last interview -- I'm having trouble getting yahoo photo to go to the upload page at the moment. One thing I noticed in the picture was that I didn't take the ponytail holder off my wrist when he took the picture -- BUT I *KNOW* I took it off before the interview because I specifically made sure I did and left it at home so I couldn't inadvertently put it back on my wrist or even worse, in my hair. When I get that picture figured out and uploaded, I'll post. I feel comfortable that what I wore was nice, professional comfortable. I would initially have had a tough time coming up with more outfits to wear during the week until I could go shopping but I could have come up with something. 2. I did not have him take a picture that included my face and hair -- I was freshly scrubbed for the interview and not so today before 8 in the morning. 3. I remembered this morning that I had worn lipstick to the most recent interview and my hair was freshly washed (not dripping wet but perhaps a tad still damp -- it was a humid day), I had used a styling agent in it (I'm not real good at that but at least this time it didn't make my hair heavier again - unfortunately, it didn't help much with the humidity frizz either) no headband, no ponytail (those concerns came up mostly because if I get a job, I know that's probably what I'll wind up reverting to when I feel comfortable) 4. No mall listed closer than Traverse City -- guess the make up counter somewhere will be a bit. 5. Checked online (as best I could) and found no MK reps in Petoskey but I'll still ask around -- maybe someone knows one in the immediate area that I'm not familiar with being in the immediate area (probably didn't make any sense...basically I'm not real familiar with what is close and what isn't up here) 6. Volunteering -- I currently volunteer at the public library in the children's department doing database entry, etc. I like the individuals there but I wouldn't consider any a *friend* in the sense that I need one right now. Guild meeting should be the evening of the second Wed of the Month so I'll see about trying that out again. I was so intimidated and felt out of place when I went before -- it was my first meeting and I didn't know what to expect and what I found didn't meet what I wanted, etc. Okay, I just called and left a message for Pastor at church remindering her again that I had volunteered to work on getting a web page up and running so we'll see. 7. Shopping -- for clothes, make up, etc. Hard to do when the funds aren't there (we are so far in debt due to student loans, moving expenses, previous bad spending habits, etc.) and yet, hard not to do when needed for a good image for work. I have to stick with relatively easy to afford items right now and make do. 8. Nails -- got pictures of them too to share when things communicate properly. okay, I've run out of responses at the moment, now I'm praying this let's me post....thank you for the support, the suggestions, letting me know I'm not the only one. Tricia |
#76
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OT Fixing Tricia WAS OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Witchy Stitcher wrote: Tricia - are you looking for a teaching job or a job in a school? Not in the k-12 system -- my certificate expired in June and I won't be renewing it any time soon (I need more college classes to meet the renewal requirements) because healthwise and stresswise, I can't work in my chosen field anymore. I'm one of those teachers who gives everything to the job and it just about drove me insane *snicker* In all seriousness though, as far as I know teaching full time is currently adverse to my health. However, I'm in a nasty catch 22 because in many regards I am overqualified for the positions my health can handle and so I don't get hired (at least DH thinks it is overqualification and he could be right on some of it) The job I interviewed for (and at least this time I *got* an interview -- so many times this past year I've just gotten a rejection letter without even the benefit of an interview) was a part time secretary in the open computer lab/testing center on the campus of the college DH teaches at. It would have been doing secretarial stuff as well as being available to assist if needed with the computer lab. I worked in a computer lab most my college career, even being student supervisor for a few years and running the lab. I really wanted this job, more than any other I've applied for in the last year -- it is hitting kind of hard that I haven't gotten it. I really thought things went well, except for nearly walking into a glass panel next to the open door as I was turning around to leave the office (I hadn't realized I was so far back -- I didn't bang into it but it was close. My mind was on the interview, not where I was going *blush*). A big slam to my sense of worthwhileness came about a week ago: My big tutoring lead this year so far has fallen apart because I am not familiar with local school's exact curriculum in the middle school -- hard to become familiar with something when the school doesn't cooperate, despite requests for information. I've actually been given the brush off by the assistant principal when I inquired as to local middle school curriculum for the homeschooling I was doing last spring. Anyway, it's one big sense of I can't do anything right these days. I lost the point of what I was saying..... Tricia |
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OT Fixing Tricia
I also think going to guild meetings won't really help make a lot of new
friends. You need to get involved in the guild with committees and workshops so you have a one to one contact with people. The meetings are just too busy to have any meaningful conversation with anyone and many people only get to see their guild friends at the meetings. So they are busy catching up with them, rather than meeting new people. This is a problem in every guild, no matter how many hospitality committees or door greeters you appoint. If the guild puts small groups (bees) together, you might check into signing up for one of those if you're interested. I don't know how long you've lived there, but "I" think it takes about two years in a new place before things start to feel like home. Maybe I'm a slow adjuster. KJ "mini Mini" wrote in message . 54... "Tricia" wrote in news:1156858826.246122.14340 @i3g2000cwc.googlegroups.com: Pics are in -- had to use a different account than the one I wanted to...oh well....I don't know if it is color true or not in the pictures so in the outfit one -- waist down is all navy not black. Tricia http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/chirparrooo/my_photos I think you look great. Your hands & nails are gorgeous (but you should cut them all the same lenght) & I'm sure you were just feeling yuky when you wrote your first message. As for damp hair at the interview: I'm convinced you look perfectly fine & that is not the problem the getting the job. But if you blow dry your hair it will look much neater & less fly away. volunteering: I see you said you do volunteer work but it sounds like the work you are doing is all individual work. You need to work on a team/comittee. If you are doing database & web sites you are working alone and won't mmet ppl. As for the guild: I would say try again, but if it's really not what you want/expect, don't force yourself to go. (hugs) |
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?
Sandy Ellison wrote:
Meeting people: Tricia! Keep trying. Getting to know folks at church? Join the volunteers! When there's a meeting (committee, women's group, groundskeepers, etc.) show up. If you're easy for people to overlook, they will. You CAN do this. (Believe me, "they" don't fire volunteers. g) Join a Y or fitness center if one is available. The Y usually has financial assistance programs if that is a concern. Our Y is a great place to meet people and it helps keep me in shape. Julia in MN -- This message has been scanned for viruses by Norton Anti-Virus http://webpages.charter.net/jaccola/ |
#79
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?
This is too late for you, Tricia, but something for you parents of girls
to consider. When my daughter was small, someone told me that she thought it was good for girls to learn about makeup, etc. young. So I bought my daughter some cheap makeup and let her and her friends play with it. She learned how to apply by trial and error. When she was in junior high or high school, DH commented once that DD didn't wear makeup. He was wrong -- she had mastered a light touch and it wasn't really noticeable. She never really went overboard on makeup though she does admit to putting on blue mascara after she got to school when she was in junior high. Julia in MN Tricia wrote: No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important) things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had *great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot. I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother, living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role models for what I'm facing now in any regard. Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail -- it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine", and "done up", I friggin' suck. Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part, I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it, frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers) when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got through it okay. I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either). Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia -- This message has been scanned for viruses by Norton Anti-Virus http://webpages.charter.net/jaccola/ |
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OT: Interviewing Hairstylists OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Thanks Pauline -- I'm assuming the type of salon you call isn't some
place like the place in Wal Mart or a Fantastic Sams.... I really wish I was closer to one of my stepsisters (both physically and emotionally -- she moved and left no forwarding address/contact information with me =( ). She's always been good at this stuff (well, alright, maybe not always...as a teenager she did seem to go a bit overboard and looked more trampy than accentuated, but I think from what I have gathered many teen girls go through a stage like that when learning about make up), went to cosmetology school, etc. While I initially thought her make up choices for me at my wedding were a bit dark, she did a beautiful job with me -- make up and hair. (pictures available on the same site as my interview outfit). She anchored that veil so well that it took me forever to get it off -- and that was after dancing, being swung around like a little girl by a friend, and changing -- both into and out of my dress and alternate outfits. We weren't close as kids (she's nearly 10 years older and I was the intruding baby stepsister) and I had hoped around the time of my wedding that we'd get closer as adults but things happened, she moved, I moved, etc. and we lost touch again. Someday we'll manage to reconnect somehow.... Been on meds before for PMDD, trying to avoid it for as long as I can this time.... Thanks, Tricia Pauline wrote: When I'm in need of changing hair stylists & don't have any current recommendations, I call a salon & tell the receptionist that I'm looking for a new hairdresser & I have lots of hair, but no ability to style it. Can I meet with one of their stylists to discuss my hair & see if we would be a good fit? It's usually not a problem - just have to schedule a time when they aren't busy. I've never been charged for it, but I suppose it wouldn't be out of order to do so. Be sure & tell them you need remedial hair styling help Good you're going to the doctor. I didn't think you had a pizza face. I know what you mean though - I had more break outs when I was in my 30's & 40's than I did as a teenager. I used to suffer terribly from PMS - my evil twin came out then. That's something you may want to discuss with your MD as well - there is help out there for you. Keep your chin up & keep asking for help. You'll start to make changes & they'll start to be easier & pretty soon, things will fall into place for you. -- Pauline Northern California "Tricia" wrote in message ups.com... Pauline wrote: And don't feel you have to buy everything or anything from them. I always tell them I need to wear it for the rest of the day to see if my skin reacts to anything - which is true. If the new product Thank you for bringing that up. It gives me a ready thing in mind when I go in there to keep from getting pressured into something that I could very well regret (for any number of reasons) later on. You can also "interview" potential hairstylists to see if you *how* do you do that -- interview hairstylists? Maybe it's the places I go but I've never had someone really work with me, well, not true -- one guy one time took one good look at me and just declared he was going to make me beautiful and did a wonderful job on my hair, helped me with some basics in hair styling products (small talk by bed head). However, by teh time I went back (I use annoyance as the main deciding factor on when to get my hair cut) he had moved on to a better quality place (I assume) and I couldn't track him down. I hate when I go in some place regularly and each person who works with my hair gives me conflicting recommendations on products, etc. think you will work well together. See what they suggest & explain how it's a weak area for you, so it needs to be doable for YOU. Sometimes it takes a few visits for your hairstylist & you to get to a good spot. I also recommend seeing a dermatologist if your skin is breaking out. Don't try to "fix" it yourself. You need to see a professional. New patient appointment is Oct. 20th. I know I probably made it sound like I was a "pizza face" but in reality it's just a few (half dozen maybe) spots -- but very noticable and more than I had as a teenager and they come with my cycle more often than not. If you're worried about your weight - try to dress in a way that helps to camoflage the areas you're most concerned about. This is another area where a good sales person can help you. And remember - you can always return anything you buy that you have buyers remorse after you get home & try it on again. You can also return make-up - even to drug stores. (It looked different when I got it home - it made me break out - it creased in my eyelids, etc.) Good luck - you sound like you need a lift & taking it one step at a time will really help you to feel better about your appearance. Keep us posted! Pauline Thanks Pauline, You are right, I do need a lift -- in a big way. I was in the throes of a really bad bout of PMS this morning when I was typing (and crying) away, am slightly better now but these are issues that have been bothering me -- they just don't seem to reach critical status unless the hormones are wacked. Tricia |
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