TIDBITS 03/28/04

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The Unicorn

I have an image of this magnificent looking piece of jewelry
you see ... in the form of a Unicorn. Which clearly and immediately
brings to mind this pressing question: How does one tame a
Unicorn? And the answer is ladies and gennulmen ... by the
touch of a virgin. Ye gads, folks. Who woulda thunk it?

There is this little bit of lore that might seem at first
glance a tad strange. There is also this old saw that states:
Sanity ... like morality ... is decided by the majority. I
vote we add strangeness to that saw. Sanity ... like
strangeness ... like morality ... yada yada yada. So ...
to un-digress myself ... the little bit of lore goes like
this: Only a virgin can tame a Unicorn ... however ... the
virgin must be a boy in disguise. Hunh?

I dash with alacrity over to my unabridged library edition of
the Random Dictionary of the English Language and look up
the word: Virgin. A girl, it says. A woman, it says. A female,
it says. It's an old old dictionary. I suspect it's wrong.
Can a male not be a virgin ... I ask you each and every one?
And so again ... to un-digress once more ... I return to my
fabled beastie.

There is this fellow by the name of Lawrence Kallenberg who is
clearly talented beyond talented and who wrote a book about
jewelry modeling in wax. I tend--beyond reason--to admire
extraordinary work. This guy is amazing. Wait. You will all soon see
his Unicorn.

Did you know that a Unicorn's horn has the unique ability to purify
poisoned water? Yes yes it does. How many of you use a filter to
purify the water zillions of others in past generations were able to
drink on a daily basis without falling deathly ill. No matter. The
filter is inefficient. Get yourselves a pet Unicorn ... dip his horn
into that thousand gallon vat of water you all hold in reserve lest
you should get thirsty ... and presto gasatz ... the water is a pure
as ... as ... as that virgin mentioned above.

There is a ton of information available about the Unicorn ... not the
least of which is that there are--according to Aristotle--two kinds.
The Antelope Unicorn ... and the Ass Unicorn. Hey ... if Ari says it
.... then it's got to be true. Yes? But I won't bore you with more
details. One can absorb just so much trivia before one's gills get
bloated. And so ....

For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits...may I
direct you to my home page at www.tyler-adam.com where you
will scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says
Tidbits Graphics ... and then click on the link that says: Uni ...
where you'll see an image of a silver and vermeil Unicorn by
Lawrence Kallenberg.

And there ya have it.
That's it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.
Benjamin Mark

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