OFF TOPIC - pierced ears

Wow _doug- Now you're Sarah and you have a six year old daughter?
you certainly change a lot, I mean on the other site you're a macho
kind of guy and here you are female and have kids?
Nothing personal or anything- Doug - but are you a frustrated actor?

Melinda Meahan - take out TRASH to reply wrote:
Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:
Moni i absolutely agree that it is nice when young women adorn
themselves just to have fun, my wonderment was when somebody called
that act "a transistional rite" ,,,,,

Maybe it's an issue of semantics.

Beyond that, what I said was that one can *use* it as
a transitional rite. In the US, our children have very few
coming-of-age rituals, and some would say that's problematic.
Many families have found that setting up some rituals by
investing some relatively simple acts (like ear piercing)
with some meaning, responsibilities, and privileges is a way
of marking out moments of transition in a child's life in
such a way as to emphasize that with privileges come
responsibilities.

Best wishes,
Ericka

The semantics part is that I don't mean that it should be a big public
ceremony or anything like a bar mitzvah, but just a privilege a parent
can extend when the child reaches a certain level of physical or mental
maturity.

Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:
No it is a Cultural and sociological perception , about the nature of
"rites' ceremonies etc....
mirjam

Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:
Moni i absolutely agree that it is nice when young women adorn
themselves just to have fun, my wonderment was when somebody called
that act "a transistional rite" ,,,,,
Maybe it's an issue of semantics.


--
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your
work with excellence.

Cheryl Isaak wrote:
at what age would you/ did you let your daughter get her ears pierce.

DD is just nine and has been campaigning for a year for them.

I got mine done when I was 18 and could it with out a parents signature. My
Dad thought only "bad girls" had pierced ears (this was 30 years ago).

C

Coming into this conversation late...

I had mine pierced around 8 or 9 (3rd or 4th grade). My mom and
grandmother took me (mall place). I did get pretty freaked out by the
'gun' and went into the beginning stages of shock...

My younger sister had hers pierced even earlier (6 or 7).

Interestingly, these ages seem a bit younger than what others' have
suggested. Neither my sister nor I had any problems with our
piercings... for what it's worth.

--Mickey

Karen E. wrote:
Cheryl Isaak wrote:

at what age would you/ did you let your daughter get her ears pierce.

DD is just nine and has been campaigning for a year for them.

I got mine done when I was 18 and could it with out a parents
signature. My
Dad thought only "bad girls" had pierced ears (this was 30 years ago).



I had to wait until I was thirteen. That's probably what I'd go with for
DD too, except she has no desire whatever to get hers pierced. Hates
pain. I'm also one of those cranky types who makes 'em wait longer the
more they bug me.

Karen E.

I think Marcella was twelve when she really wanted them done. We went
together...... if I had my choice I would have chickened out after #1,
but MOM had to be brave!!

Her daughter, Stephanie had hers done last year when she was about 12.

Gillian

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:

I was a bit surprised, to read that you see ear piercing as a sort of
transitional rite, i see it as a peer pressure trendy thing, maybe if


These things are very cultural. In the US, the overwhelming
majority of people see nothing whatsoever wrong with an older girl
(and definitely not a woman) having her ears pierced. There are some
who don't want their own ears pierced, and some who think it's
inappropriate for babies or very little girls to have their
ears pierced, but most would find girls getting their ears
pierced to be akin to getting a driver's license at 16--something
entirely appropriate for the age, though not everyone chooses
to do it.
Give that the overwhelming majority don't see it as
a negative thing, it seems to me that likening it to illegal
drug and alcohol use would simply backfire. It's much more
akin to deciding when a girl is allowed to wear makeup, or
heels, or any of those other things that people see as something
that is appropriate once a girl is of a certain age. When you
have those situations, it's much easier to tie the privilege
to a certain milestone (whether that's age or something else)
rather than having a constant argument over "Can I *now*? Please?
How 'bout now? No? Then how about tomorrow?" Plant a stake in
the ground and use it for a larger purpose.

Best wishes,
Ericka

From my personal experience, neither my mother, friends or myself had
pierced ears in England. ( Now I was born in 1936, so I know times have
drastically changed).

My dughter asked at the age of 12 to have them pierced, and we did
it....together!.

My daughter-in-law had her baby's pierced at the age of 3-6 months.....I
don't think this was a religious/ethnic thing, because the parents were
catholic. My mother-in-law (yup old friends THAT ONE, EMIL) refused to
have hers done because it might hurt!.

I guess it is all how you see it, and how responsible the child is!

Gillian

--
Jenn Ridley :
WIP: Poppies (Art-Stitch), two knitted tops, Oriental Butterfly
Most recently Finished: Floral Sampler, Insect Sampler



We just did the bra shopping thing with DD; she needed something....

Yesterday I let her wear a "solitaire" pendant I got someplace - white metal
and glass, but I had saved it just for such occasions - her needed a piece
of jewelry that looked nice enough but could be lost with no heart break.
C

Cheryl.....surely Elise can't be that grown up! Damn, I am OLD!!

G

Ericka, i understood ALL this from the very first time i read it , i
repeat it is STILL a very strange and curious idea to see EAR PIERCING
as Such a ritual ,,,, since we started this discussion i had time to
discuss it with various people here. EVERY One who heard this ,
thought it was a Joke ,,,, one asked if you [or the parents of the
child to have ears pierced] read about the History of the tradition ,
maybe travel in a pirate boat ? relate it to the way Cows have nose
rings , Speak about Slavery History ,,,,,, etc ,, A Transitional Rite
has to be prepared , studied for etc.... Nobody here saw it a way to
teach achild responsibility ,,, everybodyt said, Trend ,,,,,
mirjam

Maybe it's an issue of semantics.

Beyond that, what I said was that one can *use* it as
a transitional rite. In the US, our children have very few
coming-of-age rituals, and some would say that's problematic.
Many families have found that setting up some rituals by
investing some relatively simple acts (like ear piercing)
with some meaning, responsibilities, and privileges is a way
of marking out moments of transition in a child's life in
such a way as to emphasize that with privileges come
responsibilities.

Best wishes,
Ericka

i understood that Melinda , i still think it is a strange use for that
act ,,,,,
mirjam

The semantics part is that I don't mean that it should be a big public
ceremony or anything like a bar mitzvah, but just a privilege a parent
can extend when the child reaches a certain level of physical or mental
maturity.

Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:
No it is a Cultural and sociological perception , about the nature of
"rites' ceremonies etc....
mirjam

Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:
Moni i absolutely agree that it is nice when young women adorn
themselves just to have fun, my wonderment was when somebody called
that act "a transistional rite" ,,,,,
Maybe it's an issue of semantics.


--
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your
work with excellence.

Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:

A Transitional Rite
has to be prepared , studied for etc.... Nobody here saw it a way to
teach achild responsibility ,,, everybodyt said, Trend ,,,,,

That's exactly why I said it was probably an issue of semantics.

My children got wris****ches when they learned to tell time on an analog
clock.

My children got new Bibles (we are Christians) on their first birthday
(that I chose for them), upon finishing phonics instruction (that they
got to pick), and an adult-type Bible instead of a kids' type Bible
(that they also got to pick out) at age 13. (and three of them got
their very own copy of J. Vernon McGee's Through the Bible commentaries
on their 18th birthday, the youngest being only 15 at the present time
and having that milestone in the future yet)

That's the type of thing I am talking about.

--
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your
work with excellence.