OT AGGGHHH!!!

Sounds like our mothers have a lot in common NightMist! But mine is
starting to get better about it. She used to act the same way about my
sewing and crafts that I made to sell. But now that she sees how much
better kids and I are doing with me being at home - she has learned to
keep her trap shut about it and has become very grateful that I have a
supportive husband and I can be with the kids. And, now she has come
to appreciate the work that goes into making the things I make and the
appreciation of the end user!

Hugs,
Tina, loving mom more every day

Nah, taking in ironing is the lowest!
Roberta in D

"NightMist" schrieb im Newsbeitrag
...
(clipped) There
seems to be a major difference between working a crap job and being
paid by the hour, and "taking in sewing". Apparently sewing for hire
smacks of ultimate destitution and degradation, or something. One
time I suggested that it could be worse and I could be taking in
laundry, and she snarled at me something vicious.

NightMist
--
"To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge
it, requires brains." -Mary Pettibone Poole

NightMist wrote:
On 14 Apr 2005 15:55:24 -0700, "Leslie & The Furbabies in MO."
wrote:
Good luck getting yourself prepared for the visit and I wish you
the stamina to survive it. I sympathize. I have a mother and she
also creates havoc (if I read your post correctly???) when she
visits. Not necessarily bad, just a turmoil.

Turmoil is a way to put it. I love my mother but she is a very
judgemental person. We get along so much better since my parents
moved 1500 miles away.

I also have to hide all evidence of quilting or sewing. She knows I
do it, but it tends to make her swoon to see evidence that I actually
_use_ anything I sew.

One time I suggested that it could be worse and I could be taking in
laundry, and she snarled at me something vicious.

Hey, I could always call when she's there and ask when my laundry will
be done

liz young in sunny california

ohmigawsh!! I drive my daughter crazy too. She is right handed and I am
left handed and we put everything away in the wrong order - wrong drawer -
etc.
--
http://community.webshots.com/user/snigdibbly
SNIGDIBBLY
~e~
"
/ \
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/snigdibbly.
http://www.ebaystores.com/snigdibbly...ox&refid=store
"Sharon Harper" wrote in message
u...
Tee Hee....I remember when my DSM arrived for a visit post-birth of DD1.
She spent one whole morning rubber banding our cutlery. She left out four
of everything and rubber banded everything else "to make it tidy".

--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
Queen of Down Under
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html (takes a while to load)
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos (same as website but
quicker)

"Kate Dicey" wrote in message
...
NightMist wrote:

On 14 Apr 2005 15:55:24 -0700, "Leslie & The Furbabies in MO."
wrote:


NightMist- I enjoyed reading the post of your very "exciting" trip to
pay your electric bill.... in the sense that it was very entertaining
and I was relieved it wasn't me going thru that ridiculous mess. I
will do my best to wish it to be last Saturday for you, but I must
confess right now it's never worked for me, so far.....


Yeah, it's never worked for me either.

Good luck getting yourself prepared for the visit and I wish you the
stamina to survive it. I sympathize. I have a mother and she also
creates havoc (if I read your post correctly???) when she visits. Not
necessarily bad, just a turmoil.


Turmoil is a way to put it.
I love my mother but she is a very judgemental person.
We get along so much better since my parents moved 1500 miles away.

I have to majorly clean the house so it doesn't look like anybody
actually lives here. I also have to hide all evidence of quilting or
sewing. She knows I do it, but it tends to make her swoon to see
evidence that I actually _use_ anything I sew. Goddess forbid that
she ever stop by while I am doing a fitting for a paid project. There
seems to be a major difference between working a crap job and being
paid by the hour, and "taking in sewing". Apparently sewing for hire
smacks of ultimate destitution and degradation, or something. One
time I suggested that it could be worse and I could be taking in
laundry, and she snarled at me something vicious.

NightMist

Tell her how much you charge per hour, and point out that this is
waaaaay more than shelf stacking at the local horriblemarket!

My mum, who was a 'home sewer' - and will be again, and VERY middle
class, thinks it's excellent that I use my natural talents in this way,
and that we USE the quilts I make, and she WANTS ONE!

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Minimum starting wage at Wal-mart is $7.54/hour. That's entry level
cashier.
--
http://community.webshots.com/user/snigdibbly
SNIGDIBBLY
~e~
"
/ \
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/snigdibbly.
http://www.ebaystores.com/snigdibbly...ox&refid=store
"Linda Sweigart" wrote in message
news:NX68e.18714$nt3.9792@trndny04...
I too "take is sewing". I get about $12 an hour for alterations. I suppose
I could go work at Walmart instead for $6... I refer to myself a
professional seamstress. There's nothing degrading about it. Does she have
the same opinion about tailors who create expensive men's suits?

Linda, in Lancaster PA



Goddess forbid that
she ever stop by while I am doing a fitting for a paid project. There
seems to be a major difference between working a crap job and being
paid by the hour, and "taking in sewing". Apparently sewing for hire
smacks of ultimate destitution and degradation, or something. One
time I suggested that it could be worse and I could be taking in
laundry, and she snarled at me something vicious.

NightMist

Tell her how much you charge per hour, and point out that this is waaaaay
more than shelf stacking at the local horriblemarket!

My mum, who was a 'home sewer' - and will be again, and VERY middle
class, thinks it's excellent that I use my natural talents in this way,
and that we USE the quilts I make, and she WANTS ONE!

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

I think a lot of your moms may remember a time when women didn't have
choices. These same moms went out and won the battle that gave your
generation the choice to be stay-at-home moms or to have a career outside
the home. I remember a time when a woman couldn't get credit in her own
name - couldn't get hired for anything other than a "womans work" job. Her
identity was based entirely on her husband. I remember a time when the
best parent to stay home with the kids might be the father but he couldn't
because society decreed he be the bread winner. Thanks to your mothers
generation that is no longer the case. People now have choices. More and
more fathers are getting custody of their children in divorce disputes
because finally we have Judges who make determinations on what is in the
best interest of the child and not gender.

I don't say this to chastise anyone - only to educate. Sometimes women from
my generation forget that because we fought the good fight our children
never had those challenges and don't understand why we act as we do. I try
to remember that when my daughter gets frustrated with me. I was a career
woman and a single parent after a very long battle but my daughter chooses
to stay at home and has always been a stay at home mom who has never worked
outside the home. Her youngest is in high school and they have financial
problems and she struggles with depression. I feel she needs challenging
work being of service to others but she doesn't want to do that. She
doesn't understand how my work in social work for so personally satisfying
and I don't understand her not wanting to help her family with a pay check
and a better frame of reference. We both love each other very much but we
don't understand those things that drive each other and that's okay. She's
40 and I'm 59 - we both have a right to be comfortable in our own skins and
to make the choices to maintain that psychological homeostasis.
--
http://community.webshots.com/user/snigdibbly
SNIGDIBBLY
~e~
"
/ \
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http://www.ebaystores.com/snigdibbly...ox&refid=store
"Tina" wrote in message
oups.com...
Sounds like our mothers have a lot in common NightMist! But mine is
starting to get better about it. She used to act the same way about my
sewing and crafts that I made to sell. But now that she sees how much
better kids and I are doing with me being at home - she has learned to
keep her trap shut about it and has become very grateful that I have a
supportive husband and I can be with the kids. And, now she has come
to appreciate the work that goes into making the things I make and the
appreciation of the end user!

Hugs,
Tina, loving mom more every day

Sad how much more we understand bits of our moms after they pass
away. My mom was pretty wacky, but she was a hard working and
loving mom. She really could be a pita and I suppose I miss that
the most sometimes.
If you still have a mom in this world give her a hug for those
of us who don't.
Talk about choices Snig. There is a rumor in my dad's family that
his grandfather 'took' $20 from the man she got married off to.
We aren't talking a hundred years ago here more like 1920.
Taria

SNIGDIBBLY wrote:

I think a lot of your moms may remember a time when women didn't have
choices. These same moms went out and won the battle that gave your
generation the choice to be stay-at-home moms or to have a career outside
the home. I remember a time when a woman couldn't get credit in her own
name - couldn't get hired for anything other than a "womans work" job. Her
identity was based entirely on her husband. I remember a time when the
best parent to stay home with the kids might be the father but he couldn't
because society decreed he be the bread winner. Thanks to your mothers
generation that is no longer the case. People now have choices. More and
more fathers are getting custody of their children in divorce disputes
because finally we have Judges who make determinations on what is in the
best interest of the child and not gender.

I don't say this to chastise anyone - only to educate. Sometimes women from
my generation forget that because we fought the good fight our children
never had those challenges and don't understand why we act as we do. I try
to remember that when my daughter gets frustrated with me. I was a career
woman and a single parent after a very long battle but my daughter chooses
to stay at home and has always been a stay at home mom who has never worked
outside the home. Her youngest is in high school and they have financial
problems and she struggles with depression. I feel she needs challenging
work being of service to others but she doesn't want to do that. She
doesn't understand how my work in social work for so personally satisfying
and I don't understand her not wanting to help her family with a pay check
and a better frame of reference. We both love each other very much but we
don't understand those things that drive each other and that's okay. She's
40 and I'm 59 - we both have a right to be comfortable in our own skins and
to make the choices to maintain that psychological homeostasis.

It never ceases to amaze me how far women have come in such a very short
time. But - for the next generation - I'm so glad we did.

I lost my mom in 1991 - she was always disappointed in me (I was such a good
little 50"s girl and married the man she wanted me to marry - was a good
housewife and had my 2 children) that I divorced his sorry abusive rear end
and never remarried until my youngest was 19. She couldn't understand my
need to have a career that was personally satisfying and raise my children
by myself with no interference from a man. I think secretly she was worried
that I was gay? LOL!! She didn't know that I had boy friends - not
something you discuss with your mom - I just never brought them home or
around my children. She defined her self by the man she married and how
clean her kitchen floor was.

Before she died she told me how proud she was that I went on to college and
was successful in my life under my own terms. She said she was envious.
She finally admitted how frustrated she was that she couldn't pursue her
dream to become a doctor (non of us childdren knew about that) and that she
really didn't like being a stay at home mom and a homemaker.

She thought I really didn't appreciate the luxury of (the pill) birth
control. LOL!! She had 6 children by the age of 25 and would have had more
but had to have a hysterectomy. She finally felt okay to admit to me that
she never wanted children but was ashamed of having those feelings. I
understood that she loved her children but loving what came along and having
no choice about and actually wanting them was two different things.

After my step-father died she was totally lost because she had no
self-identity ouside of his. She died 5 years after he did.

In my career I have seen so many women with this problem. The children are
gone - the husband has his career - now what do I do??? The empty nest
syndrome.
I encouraged them to search for that dream they had about their life before
they became caretakers of their family and go and pursue that dream. Go
back to college - apply/volunteer for work where you are of service to
others. Nothing is more fulfilling than helping a fellow human being. I
encouraged them to reinvent themselves as something other than "mom" and
"wife". Self-fulfillment - it saves a lot of money on anti-depressants.
LOL!!
--
http://community.webshots.com/user/snigdibbly
SNIGDIBBLY
~e~
"
/ \
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/snigdibbly.
http://www.ebaystores.com/snigdibbly...ox&refid=store
"Taria" wrote in message
news:Mkc8e.16243$H_5.2709@trnddc01...
Sad how much more we understand bits of our moms after they pass
away. My mom was pretty wacky, but she was a hard working and
loving mom. She really could be a pita and I suppose I miss that
the most sometimes.
If you still have a mom in this world give her a hug for those
of us who don't.
Talk about choices Snig. There is a rumor in my dad's family that
his grandfather 'took' $20 from the man she got married off to.
We aren't talking a hundred years ago here more like 1920.
Taria

SNIGDIBBLY wrote:

I think a lot of your moms may remember a time when women didn't have
choices. These same moms went out and won the battle that gave your
generation the choice to be stay-at-home moms or to have a career outside
the home. I remember a time when a woman couldn't get credit in her own
name - couldn't get hired for anything other than a "womans work" job.
Her identity was based entirely on her husband. I remember a time when
the best parent to stay home with the kids might be the father but he
couldn't because society decreed he be the bread winner. Thanks to your
mothers generation that is no longer the case. People now have choices.
More and more fathers are getting custody of their children in divorce
disputes because finally we have Judges who make determinations on what
is in the best interest of the child and not gender.

I don't say this to chastise anyone - only to educate. Sometimes women
from my generation forget that because we fought the good fight our
children never had those challenges and don't understand why we act as we
do. I try to remember that when my daughter gets frustrated with me. I
was a career woman and a single parent after a very long battle but my
daughter chooses to stay at home and has always been a stay at home mom
who has never worked outside the home. Her youngest is in high school
and they have financial problems and she struggles with depression. I
feel she needs challenging work being of service to others but she
doesn't want to do that. She doesn't understand how my work in social
work for so personally satisfying and I don't understand her not wanting
to help her family with a pay check and a better frame of reference. We
both love each other very much but we don't understand those things that
drive each other and that's okay. She's 40 and I'm 59 - we both have a
right to be comfortable in our own skins and to make the choices to
maintain that psychological homeostasis.

Snigs, I still want that hug! And as soon as mom gets here, hugging
her again too! Thanks for the reminders. Some days moms are hard to
appreciate (I know my kids have trouble with it some days too) but I
sure am glad mine is still around so that we can work our "bugs" out
and have the relationship we do now!

Hugs!
Tina

SNIGDIBBLY wrote:

I don't say this to chastise anyone - only to educate. Sometimes women from
my generation forget that because we fought the good fight our children
never had those challenges and don't understand why we act as we do.

You make some good points, but I think sometimes they forget too much.
A woman of my mother's generation once actually accused me of spoiling
my children by staying home with them. No joke, she said that, in as
many words. You could have picked my jaw up off the floor. Sometimes
people tell me she was probably jealous -- but I'm not convinced of
that. I think she really had herself convinced that children are better
off in daycare than with their own loving mothers, an attitude I've seen
since, and which I find absurd.

--

the black rose
http://community.webshots.com/user/blackrosequilts

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