OT AGGGHHH!!!

You are so absolutely right and how lucky little miss sofi is to have such
an astute mommy and such a great role model. I became so depressed when I
was forced to retire that I just wanted to die. I have worked for pay since
I was 8 years old (my family were migrant farm workers). I don't want to
stay home - I want to work and practice my profession. I require an
electric wheel chair in order to do that and have restrictions that no
employer is willing to put up with. I was told that if I returned to my
agency I would be fired and lose my pension so I retired.
--
http://community.webshots.com/user/snigdibbly
SNIGDIBBLY
~e~
"
/ \
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/snigdibbly.
http://www.ebaystores.com/snigdibbly...ox&refid=store
"DrQuilter" wrote in message
...
I've been reading this thread and trying to decide whether I should reply
more to it or not and had decided not too. I don't want some people here
that I consider good 'friends' (at least I usually like their posts) to
get their feathers ruffled. But I get the feeling some people think it is
only acceptable for a woman to work if it is needed economically, but that
really they should stay at home and take care of the kids, that are no
question better off with her than at daycare. And I have to disagree. I
work not because I need to, but because I like it, and because I invested
many years in training for this.... Also, I think kids are not always
better off staying at home with mom. Socializing is a good thing. Sofi is
very outgoing and friendly. I find that the kids that feel intimidated by
her are usually those thay stay at home. Kids that go to daycare know how
to deal with other kids. So they might be advantages to both systems...


--
Dr. Quilter
http://community.webshots.com/user/mvignali
(take the dog out before replying)

DrQuilter wrote:
I've been reading this thread and trying to decide whether I should
reply more to it or not and had decided not too. I don't want some
people here that I consider good 'friends' (at least I usually like
their posts) to get their feathers ruffled. But I get the feeling some
people think it is only acceptable for a woman to work if it is needed
economically, but that really they should stay at home and take care of
the kids, that are no question better off with her than at daycare. And
I have to disagree. I work not because I need to, but because I like
it, and because I invested many years in training for this.... Also, I
think kids are not always better off staying at home with mom.
Socializing is a good thing. Sofi is very outgoing and friendly. I find
that the kids that feel intimidated by her are usually those thay stay
at home. Kids that go to daycare know how to deal with other kids. So
they might be advantages to both systems...


Always remember that 'need' is not always material. After a few years
at home and fertility treatment for a seriously wanted (by BOTH parents)
child, and a year at home with one of the best behaved and most adorable
babies you could ever wish for, I was going insane with boredom and
frustration, so that's when I went back and finished my MA, after which
I turned to professional dressmaking, went back to teaching, and filled
at least part of every week with adult stuff. Your needs may be
material (keeping food on the table or the roof over your head) or they
may not, but it doesn't diminish the need.

And the needs of the child are also as diverse as those of the parents.
Like Sofi, James was an only and benefitted hugely from day care part
of the week. I, on the other hand, was one of four, and while my mother
didn't do paid work outside the home (being an officer's wife in the RAF
one was expected NOT to work, unless one was a doctor, lawyer,
teacher, or other such professional), she had a very active life and we
had masses of interaction with kids of similar ages, despite not going
to play school, day care, or whatever. We never lacked social skills or
socialising opportunities the way some kids seem to these days if they
have stay at home parents. Not ALL kids, I have to say - but the
isolated ones who lack social skills are easily seen once they start school.
--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

I did what was right for my babies. WOrked for them and me.
Mama's are protective. None of us want to be made to feel the road
we take is the wrong one. Everyone has different needs. Go with what
works for you and your babies.
We did a lot more than staying home though. We were lucky enough to
live in a city full of wonderful activities and groups when mine were
little. (San Diego)
Asking me to leave my kids would be like making you 'stay home'. I
have no doubt you are a wonderful mom Marissa. Sofi is lucky to have you
and Fer.
Taria

Kate Dicey wrote:

DrQuilter wrote:

I've been reading this thread and trying to decide whether I should
reply more to it or not and had decided not too. I don't want some
people here that I consider good 'friends' (at least I usually like
their posts) to get their feathers ruffled. But I get the feeling some
people think it is only acceptable for a woman to work if it is needed
economically, but that really they should stay at home and take care
of the kids, that are no question better off with her than at daycare.
And I have to disagree. I work not because I need to, but because I
like it, and because I invested many years in training for this....
Also, I think kids are not always better off staying at home with mom.
Socializing is a good thing. Sofi is very outgoing and friendly. I
find that the kids that feel intimidated by her are usually those thay
stay at home. Kids that go to daycare know how to deal with other
kids. So they might be advantages to both systems...


Always remember that 'need' is not always material. After a few years
at home and fertility treatment for a seriously wanted (by BOTH parents)
child, and a year at home with one of the best behaved and most adorable
babies you could ever wish for, I was going insane with boredom and
frustration, so that's when I went back and finished my MA, after which
I turned to professional dressmaking, went back to teaching, and filled
at least part of every week with adult stuff. Your needs may be
material (keeping food on the table or the roof over your head) or they
may not, but it doesn't diminish the need.

And the needs of the child are also as diverse as those of the parents.
Like Sofi, James was an only and benefitted hugely from day care part
of the week. I, on the other hand, was one of four, and while my mother
didn't do paid work outside the home (being an officer's wife in the RAF
one was expected NOT to work, unless one was a doctor, lawyer, teacher,
or other such professional), she had a very active life and we had
masses of interaction with kids of similar ages, despite not going to
play school, day care, or whatever. We never lacked social skills or
socialising opportunities the way some kids seem to these days if they
have stay at home parents. Not ALL kids, I have to say - but the
isolated ones who lack social skills are easily seen once they start
school.

DS always knew he wanted to be a policeman. Funny how some kids
are just born knowing what they want. One of his buddies when he was an
explorer (you'd be glad their supervisor was a wonderful woman) told me
how he would follow his sister around on their bikes and give out
tickets. He just knew too.
My mom was a sahm and a woman ahead of her time. She raised 5 daughters
that all knew we could be or do anything we wanted. Kind of odd cause
my brothers really didn't have the same drive we females did/do.

You know Irene the preacher kid (pk was what we called them) were always
the ones to get into trouble. Don't think that has much to do with
whether their mom works or not. They seem the most prone right in front
of teachers kids around here.
Taria
IMS wrote:





I, too, enjoy working a great deal, and get a lot of satisfaction out of
it. I want my daughter to feel she can be anything she wants, and try
to be a role model for her. Ever since she was 5, all she's wanted to
be is a policewoman! My DH, who now runs his company out of our home,
has always been a full-fledged partner in parenting. If the kids needed
to be home sick from school, one of us just rearranged schedules.

Having a stay at home mom doesn't guarantee kids will be better off.
The son of one of my friends (a stay at home mom) from church was just
arrested for forging checks. That's a felony conviction at age 19.

-Irene



--------------
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
--Mae West
--------------

OHHH you poor old thing Sharon.... and in another 10 days another
birthday for you too....

Dee in Oz

Taria wrote:


You know Irene the preacher kid (pk was what we called them) were always
the ones to get into trouble. Don't think that has much to do with
whether their mom works or not. They seem the most prone right in front
of teachers kids around here.

Hehehe! My dad was a minister's son... You should have seen some of
the trouble h got into, from poking a lass's plait through the ink well
hole in the desk and pinning through it with a pencil to falling out of
a tree and pinning his legs together through the thigh muscles with a
pruning knife! And after that the putting of the smaller brother in the
dumb waiter to see if it worked! Then there was the episode of the
Brycreamed pig in the ballroom...

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!