Suggestions?

IMO you are well rid of her! (Will Chicago be far enough?) Swatch from her
couch indeed! This is about the rudest thing I've ever heard. I'd buy her a
copy of "Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior" as a
farewell gift.

Now you take a few minutes every morning to practice saying "no, thank you"
in front of the mirror. Smile sweetly, look yourself in the eye, and repeat
10 times.
Roberta in D

"Sk8eraunt" wrote in message
...
Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend
obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging.
Here's my
problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in
May.
She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some
kind
of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't
really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but
that's
about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy
into
making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I
started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring
you a
swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very
assertive personality!)

What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall
hanging
instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy
pattern?

TIA,
kaila

Kaila,
I would suggest doing a very simple wall hanging. One block set on point with
setting triangles in a "focus" fabric. Perhaps a star block, and using southwest
type fabric to remind her of her time in Arizona. Something with saguaros and
other cactus or something.

Pati, in Phx.

Sk8eraunt wrote:

Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend
obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my
problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May.
She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind
of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't
really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's
about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into
making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I
started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a
swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very
assertive personality!)

What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging
instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy
pattern?

TIA,
kaila

Nope........I wouldn't do it... especially since a) she asked, b)
going to give you a swatch? and c) you hardly know her. She's being
pushy and you will probably NEVER see her again. Quilts should only
be given with love and to those we love and who appreciate the work we
put into them. I say ------nope.. don't do it! Believe me..... after
you have said NO... you will feel GREAT! :-)

Denise in Ontario, Canada

On 20 Feb 2004 14:28:54 GMT, (Sk8eraunt) wrote:

Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend
obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my
problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May.
She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind
of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't
really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's
about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into
making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I
started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a
swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very
assertive personality!)

What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging
instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy
pattern?

TIA,
kaila

Either she doesn't know the value of quilting, or she's got incredible
chutzpah. In either case, I think you should "just say no!" You might say to
her, "I'm flattered, but..." (...but you'll have to take a number, I'm 73
behind right now;...but I'm not committing to any new quilts at this time;
etc.) CHOOSE ONE. Keep it simple. But do say no.

--Heidi

http://community.webshots.com/user/rabbit2b



"Sk8eraunt" wrote in message
...
Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend
obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging.
Here's my
problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in
May.
She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some
kind
of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I
don't
really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but
that's
about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy
into
making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When
I
started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring
you a
swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very
assertive personality!)

What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall
hanging
instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy
pattern?

TIA,
kaila

Hullo Kaila
Whew! what a difficult position she has put you into. However, I do
think it is a bit much and over-assertive. The fact that you haven't
made those you yourself want to make should be quite sufficient reason
for saying that you can't possible. It has taken me forty years to
learn to say no (from adulthood that is!!); and, I am only now getting
to be reasonably competent g. Sadly, hemming and hawing always leaves
an opening for the pushy to get through.
If you feel you must, then perhaps a placemat? she did say a memento
didn't she. But, I really agree with the others, it is not something
you should feel you *have* to do.
..
In article , Sk8eraunt
writes
Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend
obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my
problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May.
She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind
of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't
really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's
about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into
making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I
started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a
swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very
assertive personality!)

What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging
instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy
pattern?

TIA,
kaila

--
Best Regards
pat on the hill

"Sk8eraunt" wrote in message
...

What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall
hanging
instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy
pattern?

What you should do is ask yourself why you're thinking about making her a
quilt at all. Is it something you would enjoy every minute of doing and were
hitting yourself on the head saying "of course!" the minute she suggested
it? Or are you thinking about it because she's being pushy? And if this is a
gift from your heart, why are you worried if you can "get away" with a wall
hanging. (The answer is "of course it's fine!")

There are lots of polite ways to tell her "no" if you're not comfortable
with the direct approach. You could offer to go shopping with her, and help
her pick out her own bedding to purchase, and maybe even treat her to lunch
in the deal. You could offer to teach her how to make her own quilt ("Gee,
wouldn't that make a great memory of our city? And you'd see how much time
and effort goes into making even a small quilt!").

But do yourself AND her a favor -- don't make her a quilt just because she's
pushy. She won't really appreciate it, you'll resent it, and you'll only be
rewarding bad behavior.

--
Kathy A. (Woodland, CA)
longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps
http://www.kayneyquilting.com ,
remove the obvious to reply

"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
news:wzrZb.24090$4o.41645@attbi_s52...
..
What on earth is going to happen to you if she doesn't like your
contribution to her going away present?
snip
She'll call the
FBI and tell them she's disappointed?

Now you get right over here and clean up my monitor!!!

--
Kathy A. (Woodland, CA)
longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps
http://www.kayneyquilting.com ,
remove the obvious to reply

Kathy Applebaum wrote:

She'll call the
FBI and tell them she's disappointed?


Now you get right over here and clean up my monitor!!!


Oh good! Someone was paying attention. And now I'm going to say
something that many of you will find even funnier. I am going to defend
the lady who asked for asked for a memento to bring home with her in the
form of a nice quilt. I can't see that she did anything wrong.


When I was at the fish market, I asked if they had tilapia. The answer
was no. Was I pushy for asking? I called my friend to see if she'd
like to get together with me over the weekend. She was busy with her
husband. Was I impolite for asking? I called my neighbor to see if she
could recommend a veterinarian. She couldn't. Should I not have
called? I have a quilting buddy who frequently gives me fabric and
takes fabric from my stash. Sometimes I see something I like, ask for
it and get told no. But sometimes I get told yes. Was I rude?


The bottom line is that I ask people for things all the time. I ask
them to do me favors, spend time with me, give me advice, even give me
stuff. If I didn't ask, I wouldn't get an answer.


This coworker of yours asked for a quilt to match her couch. Maybe she
knows how much work goes into making a quilt. Maybe she doesn't.
Either way, all she did was ask.


I've noticed a disturbing trend in the way the meanings of words are
getting mixed and mangled. When Manuel Smith's _When I Say No, I Feel
Guilty_ came out, he introduced the word "assertive" to mean honest,
straightforward, plainspoken-- all postive notions. He gave techniques
for getting what you want without resorting to manipulation, lying,
bullying, being underhanded. The book was a great boon to me. I
recommend it to everyone. The next thing you know, people who had
previously been unassertive, people who either were used to counting on
others to know what they wanted without asking (with advanced
mind-reading techniques?), or were used to getting what they wanted with
manipulation, were using the word "assertive" to mean all things
negative. Suddenly assertive = pushy.


--Lia

LOL - get out of it really easy. Make a 12" block then write down some
instructions on how to finish a quilt top and slip them into a card. Tell
her you thought she'd get more enjoyment from the quilt if she made it
herself!

--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html

"Taria" wrote in message
...
Why on earth would she think you should make her a quilt?
I would call her rude more than assertive. IF you have the time and
inclination make her a small wall quilt. I would suggest you tell her
you don't have time. As soon as everyone at work thinks they can put
in an order they are all going to expect free quilts. Get her a nice
card and wish her well in her life. She needs to learn that gifts
are gifts, not demands.
Taria

Sk8eraunt wrote:

Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend
obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging.
Here's my
problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in
May.
She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some
kind
of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I
don't
really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but
that's
about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy
into
making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When
I
started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring
you a
swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very
assertive personality!)

What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall
hanging
instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy
pattern?

TIA,
kaila

On 20 Feb 2004 14:28:54 GMT, (Sk8eraunt) wrote:

Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend
obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my
problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May.
She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind
of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't
really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's
about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into
making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I
started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a
swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very
assertive personality!)

What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging
instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy
pattern?

TIA,
kaila

Tell her that you are sorry that you don't have time to make her a
quilt and leave it at that. Don't be intimidated into doing something
you don't want to do.

Mardi
Real e-mail address spelled out to prevent spam. mardi at mardiweb dot com.
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