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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match
ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. Another Sad Horrific English Series (ASHES) jokes Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman applying sunscreen. Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat. Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman? A. An allrounder. Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates? A. At least they can say they're not really English. Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick? A. Three runs in three balls. Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A bowler. Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion. Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad? A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats. Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player? A. Because he was born in England. Q. What does "Ashes" stand for? A. Another Sad Horrific English Series. Q. What's the English version of LBW? A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped. Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team? A. The person who ironed the cricket whites. Only those who follow the game of cricket (or live in a Nation ruled by the outcome of this ritualised battle between Aus and Eng) would understand. Personally I never understood the attraction of standing in the middle of a wide open space in 100degree heat for days, any more than I understand the appeal of sitting and watching people doing this. I think the series now stands at two/nil in favour of Aus, with three matches to go - but I'm not interested enough to check. lol -- Cheryl & the Cats in OZ o o o o o o ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) Enness Boofhead Donut http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau |
#2
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Hehehehe... As James said last night: All that fuss over a bit of burnt
wood! I follow (vaguely) Scotland's progress in the Six Nations, but that's about all. James occasionally force feeds me Arsenal's lates escapdes with that boring round thing... As for tennis! That's great! I almost like shopping during Wimbledon! |
#3
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite.
Ugh! There are black clouds all over England. But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes that *we* won last year. Ha! If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who your ancestors were. Huh! gg .. In message , CATS writes These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. snipped - jingoistic insults -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#4
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Oh my! Do I sense a bit of..........bitterness??? g Wow, Cheryl, you
got quite a rise out of Pat! Now I wish I understood the whole situation. :-) Now, Pat.......calm down....it's not good for your blood pressure dear. We need you whole and healthy!!!!! KJ "Patti" wrote in message ... Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite. Ugh! There are black clouds all over England. But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes that *we* won last year. Ha! If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who your ancestors were. Huh! gg . In message , CATS writes These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. snipped - jingoistic insults -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#5
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Replying to my own post.....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes Now I do understand better. I'm sorry for your loss Pat! And conversely happy for our Aussie friends. KJ "KJ" wrote in message news:1lBdh.261286$FQ1.99149@attbi_s71... Oh my! Do I sense a bit of..........bitterness??? g Wow, Cheryl, you got quite a rise out of Pat! Now I wish I understood the whole situation. :-) Now, Pat.......calm down....it's not good for your blood pressure dear. We need you whole and healthy!!!!! KJ "Patti" wrote in message ... Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite. Ugh! There are black clouds all over England. But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes that *we* won last year. Ha! If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who your ancestors were. Huh! gg . In message , CATS writes These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. snipped - jingoistic insults -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#6
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Not a loss yet, KJ gg
Three more matches to go! .. In message nnBdh.261289$FQ1.56035@attbi_s71, KJ writes Replying to my own post..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes Now I do understand better. I'm sorry for your loss Pat! And conversely happy for our Aussie friends. KJ -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#7
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Ok, so hang in there! I've taken this in the spirit you've sent. I can
read between the lines....funny frustration! KJ "Patti" wrote in message ... Not a loss yet, KJ gg Three more matches to go! . In message nnBdh.261289$FQ1.56035@attbi_s71, KJ writes Replying to my own post..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes Now I do understand better. I'm sorry for your loss Pat! And conversely happy for our Aussie friends. KJ -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#8
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
S'OK, KJ, we understand each other (I hope g). Cricket is 'sacred
ground'; and even more than the rivalry between England and Scotland in football, is the deadly rivalry between Australia and England in Cricket! Thing is, you see, this match was heading for a draw - *we* had made a great start. Then those ***** Aussies bowled us out for a measly score in our second innings, and won. The score is now 2-0 in their favour (ugh!) of a series of five matches. (And, KJ, my BP went up when I heard the almost unbelievable result!) .. In message 1lBdh.261286$FQ1.99149@attbi_s71, KJ writes Oh my! Do I sense a bit of..........bitterness??? g Wow, Cheryl, you got quite a rise out of Pat! Now I wish I understood the whole situation. :-) Now, Pat.......calm down....it's not good for your blood pressure dear. We need you whole and healthy!!!!! KJ -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#9
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
Here here! lol
-- Estelle UK http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/gal.../ph//my_photos "Patti" wrote in message ... Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite. Ugh! There are black clouds all over England. But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes that *we* won last year. Ha! If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who your ancestors were. Huh! gg . In message , CATS writes These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are actually a little funny. snipped - jingoistic insults -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#10
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OT For the Brits - re the Ashes
lol Patti, I really couldn't care less if the Brits
come back from 2-0 and win! Really I couldn't. If we regain the Ashes it will dominate the press for weeks. If we lose it will dominate for months! That is my only interest in seeing Aus win at all. I deplore the all-pervading obsession with professional sport of any kind, and I am heartily sick of being told on the nightly news that the entire country should be concerned because someone has strained the little finger on his bowling hand! And I think it is just awful how the tabloid press has slammed the English team. But I also know that if we (Aus) lose the third match they will print the same headlines about our team over here. Good heavens - what would G.W. Grace has said?! There is no sportsmanship or honour left in elite sport. What a sad lesson for our children. Give me a good old fashioned one day country picnic match any day!! BTW - the season is about to be suspended in many areas of Aus this year because drought affected grounds have been deemed unsafe to play on! But I bet there is no shortage of water for test/Ashes grounds (yeah, yeah - they will use recycled!) and the plan to flood a sporting stadium in April to host a swimming championship in Melbourne is positively obscene. Millions and millions of litres of water (don't tell me they will use recycled for that!) to make a temporary swimming pool right next door to the former Olympic Games pool, just so they can sell more tickets to watch!!! OK OK OK I will get off my soap box. And as a sporting gesture I will wish the Pommies good luck in the next Ashes match!! -- Cheryl & the Cats in OZ o o o o o o ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) Enness Boofhead Donut http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau "Patti" wrote in message ... : Cheryl - that is downright cruel and wicked and ... ... very impolite. : Ugh! : There are black clouds all over England. : But, what you Aussies forget is that you are trying to regain the Ashes : that *we* won last year. Ha! : : If you want me to revert to school playground retaliation, I will. : Otherwise, please cease and desist; and let us mourn in peace. : : As for 'letting' a Scot join in - you should be ashamed. Remember who : your ancestors were. : Huh! gg : . : In message , CATS : writes : These appeared on the internet within an hour of the match : ending. Don't follow the game myself, but some of these are : actually a little funny. : snipped - jingoistic insults : -- : Best Regards : pat on the hill |
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