laundromat irritation

On Fri, 15 Oct 2010 18:32:50 -0500, Sunny wrote
(in article
):

, I can't tell you how many times
I've watched parents slapping, pinching, shaking, jerking off the
ground, name-calling and generally turning their children into future
juvenile delinquents.

OMG! Are you my neighbor. The landlord of the building next to ours rents
to people like this all the time. We never hear them speaking nicely or see
them interacting lovingly with the children. I sometimes wonder if these
people dislike children so much, why did they have them in the first place?

Sorry for the rant. I just got back from shopping and once again
watched a mother make a difference between two daughters, one of whom
was allowed to buy a thing because she was 'pretty' and the other
denied because 'you wouldn't know what to do with it' and I almost
went ballistic.

Sunny

Maureen

Well said Claudia

Dee in Oz


"claudia" wrote in message
...
Good for you Mary.

I am fed up to here (imaginary line about two feet above my head) with
parents not taking any part in the education/upbringing of their
children, whether it's keeping them from physical harm or teaching
them the difference between right and wrong. Of course, I understand
the parents, having three daughters of my own at the critical ages of
16,15 and 12. I mean really, it is just so much easier to give them
things (generally everything they ask for), let them stay out till all
hours of the night, not make a big stink if they come home drunk, etc.
etc. Afterall, as a parent I have a life too so why should I be
miserable for telling my kid she can't have something or do something
she wants to do???

WRONG!!!!!!!!

When I made the choice to become a parent (yes, it was my choice and I
would do it all over again if I had to), I knew that I was taking on
the responsibility of creating a future human being.
And no, I'm not perfect; I'm sure I made many mistakes along the way
and will continue making them, but I can honestly say that my
threesome will NOT climb on things that sholdn't be climbed on, they
don't cuss, they don't drink, and they don't stay out until dawn. I
can take them to a restaurant and they will sit quietly at the table,
and will not get up and run around, they get excellent grades at
school, and they are a pleasure to be around ( yes, a "little" bit of
proud mama is showing here!) etc, etc, etc. But this did not comeby
itself. It means spending time with them, and teaching them, and being
with them, and going over the same thing time and time again. And not
stopping the being there just beccause they are older now. Yes,
accidents happen and no you can't be there every second, but this
general tendencyof not being there at all, of general I don't care
attitude gets me every time.

Sorry about the ramble.

I wish more "normal" parents would get involved and actually do
something about the kids running amok, rather than just frown at them.

Good for you MAry

Claudia

Most young parents today were raised by day care centers... not parents.
They went to after school programs. Mom and Dad spent 10 hours a day at
work... or getting to and from work. Many did not live near close family.
So where would they have learned to parent.

I'm in my early 50's. But when I grew up -- both grandma's were near by.
My mom did not work outside the home. And if she went somewhere -- one of
the grandma's stayed with me. My mom didn't worry about being my friend or
about hurting my feelings by saying "no". My dad was there and I was
fortunate to live with both of my parents.

Parents of children today have not had an example to learn from. More than
50% of families experience divorce which creates an entire new set of
problems. Parenting from guilt. Different rules in different households.
Parents working long hours just to keep the gas and electric on.

And then we can add all of the technological advances, moral declines,
exposure to sex and violence at a much earlier age.

Bottom line is that this is a very huge and complex problem. My experience
is that most (not all) parents just don't know what to do. They have yet to
learn that discipline means to teach... not punish.

This is a really important thing to me. I would love to teach Parent
Training classes -- but I'm sure few would attend. My education background
is early childhood education followed by graduate work in child development
and parent education. What most parents don't know -- is that if you start
out understanding how children learn and set firm and appropriate limits
(and enforce them) -- life as a parent is actually easier.

Okay -- off my soapbox. This is just something I'm passionate about. I get
so angry when I see and hear parents complaining about their children's
behavior when they are exhibiting the exact behavior the parents taught
them.

Don't be afraid to speak up. Just do so with the knowledge that in some
cases -- the parents truly don't know any better. (Although running on
table tops should be evident to just about anyone!!)

--
Kate in MI
http://community.webshots.com/user/K_Groves



"claudia" wrote in message
...
Good for you Mary.

I am fed up to here (imaginary line about two feet above my head) with
parents not taking any part in the education/upbringing of their
children, whether it's keeping them from physical harm or teaching
them the difference between right and wrong. Of course, I understand
the parents, having three daughters of my own at the critical ages of
16,15 and 12. I mean really, it is just so much easier to give them
things (generally everything they ask for), let them stay out till all
hours of the night, not make a big stink if they come home drunk, etc.
etc. Afterall, as a parent I have a life too so why should I be
miserable for telling my kid she can't have something or do something
she wants to do???

WRONG!!!!!!!!

When I made the choice to become a parent (yes, it was my choice and I
would do it all over again if I had to), I knew that I was taking on
the responsibility of creating a future human being.
And no, I'm not perfect; I'm sure I made many mistakes along the way
and will continue making them, but I can honestly say that my
threesome will NOT climb on things that sholdn't be climbed on, they
don't cuss, they don't drink, and they don't stay out until dawn. I
can take them to a restaurant and they will sit quietly at the table,
and will not get up and run around, they get excellent grades at
school, and they are a pleasure to be around ( yes, a "little" bit of
proud mama is showing here!) etc, etc, etc. But this did not comeby
itself. It means spending time with them, and teaching them, and being
with them, and going over the same thing time and time again. And not
stopping the being there just beccause they are older now. Yes,
accidents happen and no you can't be there every second, but this
general tendencyof not being there at all, of general I don't care
attitude gets me every time.

Sorry about the ramble.

I wish more "normal" parents would get involved and actually do
something about the kids running amok, rather than just frown at them.

Good for you MAry

Claudia

Amen.
Taria
"Kate in MI" wrote in message
...
Most young parents today were raised by day care centers... not parents.
They went to after school programs. Mom and Dad spent 10 hours a day at
work... or getting to and from work. Many did not live near close
family. So where would they have learned to parent.

I'm in my early 50's. But when I grew up -- both grandma's were near by.
My mom did not work outside the home. And if she went somewhere -- one of
the grandma's stayed with me. My mom didn't worry about being my friend
or about hurting my feelings by saying "no". My dad was there and I was
fortunate to live with both of my parents.

Parents of children today have not had an example to learn from. More
than 50% of families experience divorce which creates an entire new set of
problems. Parenting from guilt. Different rules in different
households. Parents working long hours just to keep the gas and electric
on.

And then we can add all of the technological advances, moral declines,
exposure to sex and violence at a much earlier age.

Bottom line is that this is a very huge and complex problem. My
experience is that most (not all) parents just don't know what to do.
They have yet to learn that discipline means to teach... not punish.

This is a really important thing to me. I would love to teach Parent
Training classes -- but I'm sure few would attend. My education
background is early childhood education followed by graduate work in child
development and parent education. What most parents don't know -- is that
if you start out understanding how children learn and set firm and
appropriate limits (and enforce them) -- life as a parent is actually
easier.

Okay -- off my soapbox. This is just something I'm passionate about. I
get so angry when I see and hear parents complaining about their
children's behavior when they are exhibiting the exact behavior the
parents taught them.

Don't be afraid to speak up. Just do so with the knowledge that in some
cases -- the parents truly don't know any better. (Although running on
table tops should be evident to just about anyone!!)

--
Kate in MI
http://community.webshots.com/user/K_Groves



"claudia" wrote in message
...
Good for you Mary.

I am fed up to here (imaginary line about two feet above my head) with
parents not taking any part in the education/upbringing of their
children, whether it's keeping them from physical harm or teaching
them the difference between right and wrong. Of course, I understand
the parents, having three daughters of my own at the critical ages of
16,15 and 12. I mean really, it is just so much easier to give them
things (generally everything they ask for), let them stay out till all
hours of the night, not make a big stink if they come home drunk, etc.
etc. Afterall, as a parent I have a life too so why should I be
miserable for telling my kid she can't have something or do something
she wants to do???

WRONG!!!!!!!!

When I made the choice to become a parent (yes, it was my choice and I
would do it all over again if I had to), I knew that I was taking on
the responsibility of creating a future human being.
And no, I'm not perfect; I'm sure I made many mistakes along the way
and will continue making them, but I can honestly say that my
threesome will NOT climb on things that sholdn't be climbed on, they
don't cuss, they don't drink, and they don't stay out until dawn. I
can take them to a restaurant and they will sit quietly at the table,
and will not get up and run around, they get excellent grades at
school, and they are a pleasure to be around ( yes, a "little" bit of
proud mama is showing here!) etc, etc, etc. But this did not comeby
itself. It means spending time with them, and teaching them, and being
with them, and going over the same thing time and time again. And not
stopping the being there just beccause they are older now. Yes,
accidents happen and no you can't be there every second, but this
general tendencyof not being there at all, of general I don't care
attitude gets me every time.

Sorry about the ramble.

I wish more "normal" parents would get involved and actually do
something about the kids running amok, rather than just frown at them.

Good for you MAry

Claudia

On Oct 17, 12:17*am, "Kate in MI" wrote:
Most young parents today were raised by day care centers... not parents.
They went to after school programs. *Mom and Dad spent 10 hours a day at
work... or getting to and from work. * Many did not live near close family.
So where would they have learned to parent.

I'm in my early 50's. *But when I grew up -- both grandma's were near by.
My mom did not work outside the home. *And if she went somewhere -- one of
the grandma's stayed with me. *My mom didn't worry about being my friend or
about hurting my feelings by saying "no". * My dad was there and I was
fortunate to live with both of my parents.

Parents of children today have not had an example to learn from. * More than
50% of families experience divorce which creates an entire new set of
problems. * Parenting from guilt. *Different rules in different households.
Parents working long hours just to keep the gas and electric on.

And then we can add all of the technological advances, moral declines,
exposure to sex and violence at a much earlier age.

Bottom line is that this is a very huge and complex problem. * My experience
is that most (not all) parents just don't know what to do. *They have yet to
learn that discipline means to teach... not punish.

This is a really important thing to me. *I would love to teach Parent
Training classes -- but I'm sure few would attend. *My education background
is early childhood education followed by graduate work in child development
and parent education. *What most parents don't know -- is that if you start
out understanding how children learn and set firm and appropriate limits
(and enforce them) -- life as a parent is actually easier.

Okay -- off my soapbox. *This is just something I'm passionate about. *I get
so angry when I see and hear parents complaining about their children's
behavior when they are exhibiting the exact behavior the parents taught
them.

Don't be afraid to speak up. *Just do so with the knowledge that in some
cases -- the parents truly don't know any better. *(Although running on
table tops should be evident to just about anyone!!)

--
Kate in MIhttp://community.webshots.com/user/K_Groves



That's something I have to admit I'd never thought about. That so
many of the new parents haven't been properly parented, no matter what
the education or socio-economic situation. Good point.
And even though I came from a two parent family with a SAHM, I still
got a lot of great information from a class I took when my kids were
small. Hummmm, haven't thought about that in years. There was a very
active, well organized group of moms in Phoenix who had a great
parental "school" set up. Classes were divided up according to
developmental ages.....from newborn through teens. AND there was
childcare there! Which may have been the reason I went!! I think I
had an "ah ha" moment at least three times each class. I wonder if
that group is still operating. Probably not.....fewer SAHM's now than
in the 80's. It was a great resource for new parents. KJ

That's something I have to admit I'd never thought about. That so
many of the new parents haven't been properly parented, no matter what
the education or socio-economic situation. Good point.
And even though I came from a two parent family with a SAHM, I still
got a lot of great information from a class I took when my kids were
small. Hummmm, haven't thought about that in years. There was a very
active, well organized group of moms in Phoenix who had a great
parental "school" set up. Classes were divided up according to
developmental ages.....from newborn through teens. AND there was
childcare there!Which may have been the reason I went!! I think I
had an "ah ha" moment at least three times each class. I wonder if
that group is still operating. Probably not.....fewer SAHM's now than
in the 80's. It was a great resource for new parents. KJ


I think a lot of people truly cannot afford to have a SAHM in the
equation these days, but for those who *can* afford to have one parent
at home but choose to have 2 working parents, just so they can have more
"stuff", more material wealth, well that is not what we want in our
family. I have tons of education, but although my son will have years
and years to learn at school, he'll never again have a few years at home
with his Mum. So I'm staying at home with him, spending time with him,
stopping to smell the roses with him. It is good.

Things have changed so much. By the time my own Mum was my age, she had
had 7 children, and was a grandmother about 3 times over. She was a
SAHM herself, having only finished the 8th grade. Except for Avon, she
never earned money outside the home (not to suggest she did not "work"
even if no one paid her).

At least we have choices today, that our mothers and grandmothers did
not have. It is sad when people do not put their children first, or do
not parent well..... but you could volunteer to work with children or
with children's clubs. I did for years, and it was good for me and the
children involved. I still run into them now and again, all teenagers,
and all richer for the experience of lots of caring adults in their lives.




-- Jo in Scotland

On 18/10/2010 02:28, Jo Gibson wrote:
That's something I have to admit I'd never thought about. That so
many of the new parents haven't been properly parented, no matter what
the education or socio-economic situation. Good point.
And even though I came from a two parent family with a SAHM, I still
got a lot of great information from a class I took when my kids were
small. Hummmm, haven't thought about that in years. There was a very
active, well organized group of moms in Phoenix who had a great
parental "school" set up. Classes were divided up according to
developmental ages.....from newborn through teens. AND there was
childcare there!Which may have been the reason I went!! I think I
had an "ah ha" moment at least three times each class. I wonder if
that group is still operating. Probably not.....fewer SAHM's now than
in the 80's. It was a great resource for new parents. KJ


I think a lot of people truly cannot afford to have a SAHM in the
equation these days, but for those who *can* afford to have one parent
at home but choose to have 2 working parents, just so they can have more
"stuff", more material wealth, well that is not what we want in our
family. I have tons of education, but although my son will have years
and years to learn at school, he'll never again have a few years at home
with his Mum. So I'm staying at home with him, spending time with him,
stopping to smell the roses with him. It is good.

Things have changed so much. By the time my own Mum was my age, she had
had 7 children, and was a grandmother about 3 times over. She was a SAHM
herself, having only finished the 8th grade. Except for Avon, she never
earned money outside the home (not to suggest she did not "work" even if
no one paid her).

At least we have choices today, that our mothers and grandmothers did
not have. It is sad when people do not put their children first, or do
not parent well..... but you could volunteer to work with children or
with children's clubs. I did for years, and it was good for me and the
children involved. I still run into them now and again, all teenagers,
and all richer for the experience of lots of caring adults in their lives.




-- Jo in Scotland

I couldn't afford to go to work, so was a SAHM!! Well, by the time
childcare was taken out of any wages that I could have earnt, there
wasn't anything left over. I didn't have family close enough by to use
for childcare either. So we went without some material things, but
there was a good group of us Mums who passed clothes etc around the
community, so no-one was without.

DDs are now 15 and 11 and I wouldn't have missed a moment of it. I now
work p/t as an English teacher, so I'm here for the school hols etc and
I know that they are probably old enough for me to find full-time work
elsewhere, but I love sharing my time with them and it won't be long
before they leave the family nest, so I'm enjoying them still - even if
I am the TAXI!!!

I like to think that they are both confident young ladies, who know who
they are and for me that's the best reward going.

Janner
France

On 18/10/2010 15:03, Janner wrote:
On 18/10/2010 02:28, Jo Gibson wrote:
That's something I have to admit I'd never thought about. That so
many of the new parents haven't been properly parented, no matter what
the education or socio-economic situation. Good point.
And even though I came from a two parent family with a SAHM, I still
got a lot of great information from a class I took when my kids were
small. Hummmm, haven't thought about that in years. There was a very
active, well organized group of moms in Phoenix who had a great
parental "school" set up. Classes were divided up according to
developmental ages.....from newborn through teens. AND there was
childcare there!Which may have been the reason I went!! I think I
had an "ah ha" moment at least three times each class. I wonder if
that group is still operating. Probably not.....fewer SAHM's now than
in the 80's. It was a great resource for new parents. KJ


I think a lot of people truly cannot afford to have a SAHM in the
equation these days, but for those who *can* afford to have one parent
at home but choose to have 2 working parents, just so they can have more
"stuff", more material wealth, well that is not what we want in our
family. I have tons of education, but although my son will have years
and years to learn at school, he'll never again have a few years at home
with his Mum. So I'm staying at home with him, spending time with him,
stopping to smell the roses with him. It is good.

Things have changed so much. By the time my own Mum was my age, she had
had 7 children, and was a grandmother about 3 times over. She was a SAHM
herself, having only finished the 8th grade. Except for Avon, she never
earned money outside the home (not to suggest she did not "work" even if
no one paid her).

At least we have choices today, that our mothers and grandmothers did
not have. It is sad when people do not put their children first, or do
not parent well..... but you could volunteer to work with children or
with children's clubs. I did for years, and it was good for me and the
children involved. I still run into them now and again, all teenagers,
and all richer for the experience of lots of caring adults in their
lives.




-- Jo in Scotland

I couldn't afford to go to work, so was a SAHM!! Well, by the time
childcare was taken out of any wages that I could have earnt, there
wasn't anything left over. I didn't have family close enough by to use
for childcare either. So we went without some material things, but there
was a good group of us Mums who passed clothes etc around the community,
so no-one was without.

DDs are now 15 and 11 and I wouldn't have missed a moment of it. I now
work p/t as an English teacher, so I'm here for the school hols etc and
I know that they are probably old enough for me to find full-time work
elsewhere, but I love sharing my time with them and it won't be long
before they leave the family nest, so I'm enjoying them still - even if
I am the TAXI!!!

I like to think that they are both confident young ladies, who know who
they are and for me that's the best reward going.

Janner
France

I'm a part-time work at home mum rather than a stay at home mum... But
I do agree that for most kids, having a parent at home and fewer worldly
good is probably better for them than more material stuff and fancy
holidays and less hands on parenting. I count myself lucky that we have
managed - even though at times we merely scrape by!

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

We moved to a more affordable location so I could be a SAHM. I
am a retired SAHM now and enjoying it.
Being a 'taxi driver' might seem a drudgery some days but you get your
kids locked up in a confined area and can have some fun and interesting
conversations. Maybe not as much now that there are cell phones
but I enjoyed ferrying around many kids back in the day.
Taria


I couldn't afford to go to work, so was a SAHM!! Well, by the time
childcare was taken out of any wages that I could have earnt, there wasn't
anything left over. I didn't have family close enough by to use for
childcare either. So we went without some material things, but there was
a good group of us Mums who passed clothes etc around the community, so
no-one was without.

DDs are now 15 and 11 and I wouldn't have missed a moment of it. I now
work p/t as an English teacher, so I'm here for the school hols etc and I
know that they are probably old enough for me to find full-time work
elsewhere, but I love sharing my time with them and it won't be long
before they leave the family nest, so I'm enjoying them still - even if I
am the TAXI!!!

I like to think that they are both confident young ladies, who know who
they are and for me that's the best reward going.

Janner
France

So glad to hear that you are staying home to enjoy these special
years. Sacrifices today will cost less than rescuing your child from
trouble later. My friend who runs a daycare gets so frustrated at the
parents who don't spend any time with their children on the week ends
when they aren't working. She will have a child almost potty trained
during the week but the child arrives back on Monday in diapers
because the parents didn't have time to follow through with her work
on the week ends. She also gets really upset at children who arrive at
6:30 in the morning eating candy. The parents either didn't have time
for breakfast or give the child candy to gain cooperation during the
drive to daycare. Because of her location and charges she only has
children from highly paid professional families. Not all the families
are disasters but enough to make her worry about the next generations.
She has found good trends in more families sharing responsibility of
child raising between mother and father and families with at least one
parent working part time to give them more time with their children.

Susan


On Mon, 18 Oct 2010 01:28:04 +0100, Jo Gibson
wrote:

That's something I have to admit I'd never thought about. That so
many of the new parents haven't been properly parented, no matter what
the education or socio-economic situation. Good point.
And even though I came from a two parent family with a SAHM, I still
got a lot of great information from a class I took when my kids were
small. Hummmm, haven't thought about that in years. There was a very
active, well organized group of moms in Phoenix who had a great
parental "school" set up. Classes were divided up according to
developmental ages.....from newborn through teens. AND there was
childcare there!Which may have been the reason I went!! I think I
had an "ah ha" moment at least three times each class. I wonder if
that group is still operating. Probably not.....fewer SAHM's now than
in the 80's. It was a great resource for new parents. KJ


I think a lot of people truly cannot afford to have a SAHM in the
equation these days, but for those who *can* afford to have one parent
at home but choose to have 2 working parents, just so they can have more
"stuff", more material wealth, well that is not what we want in our
family. I have tons of education, but although my son will have years
and years to learn at school, he'll never again have a few years at home
with his Mum. So I'm staying at home with him, spending time with him,
stopping to smell the roses with him. It is good.

Things have changed so much. By the time my own Mum was my age, she had
had 7 children, and was a grandmother about 3 times over. She was a
SAHM herself, having only finished the 8th grade. Except for Avon, she
never earned money outside the home (not to suggest she did not "work"
even if no one paid her).

At least we have choices today, that our mothers and grandmothers did
not have. It is sad when people do not put their children first, or do
not parent well..... but you could volunteer to work with children or
with children's clubs. I did for years, and it was good for me and the
children involved. I still run into them now and again, all teenagers,
and all richer for the experience of lots of caring adults in their lives.




-- Jo in Scotland