Texas S.E.X.

Well we finally made it back from our trip to Dallas to see our son and
grandson. As it turns out DGS did NOT have chickenpox. It was a ploy by
Candy's mom to keep us from taking DGS to Arkansas to see my family for a
couple of days. We had planned to leave immediately after arriving in Dallas
Saturday afternoon and drive up there then come back on Monday. Well, we
didn't get to go because Candy allows her mother to dictate to her what she
will and will not do with DGS. We got to see him for about 2 hours on
Saturday. Sunday she was supposed to bring him over at noon and finally
showed up around 2:30. She let us keep him overnight but picked him up at
6:00 Monday morning. So we didn't see him at all from the time he went to
bed Sunday night until Tuesday evening.

Monday was DS's only day off and she refused to let us keep him that day.
Her mother made her pick him up at 6:00 in the morning and bring him home
then Candy went off to baby-sit some other kids. Left DGS with her mother.
She let us keep him Tuesday night and all day Wednesday then for a couple of
hours Thursday night. She had originally agreed to let us keep him the whole
time we were down there. But her mother is a total controlling, jealous,
manipulative screwball of a witch with a B and can't stand the thought of DH
and I being a part of his life.

Some may say that we should just be thankful for what time we did get to
spend with him, and we are. But we are also his grandparents and should not
be relegated to having to accept whatever crumbs the other grandparents
choose to dish out. But what goes around comes around. We had a wonderful
visit with DS and the baby. He is a joy and is so much like DS was as a
baby. We got to visit with DH's family some too and that was good.

DH and I had some fabulous S.E.X so that kind of helped make up for the
fiasco with DGS. We went to Hancock Fabrics first. They had a table full of
fabric marked down to $1.77/yd and $1.97/yd so I got a total of 9 yards in
six different fabrics. Since we are doing a lot of remodeling in the house
I'm always on the lookout for something new for curtains. DH found an
upholstery type fabric that he really like that would make great curtains
for our kitchen. We almost bought it since it was marked 50% off. But we
decided to wait and see if we could find some up here rather than having to
pack that much fabric. Then we went to Hobby Lobby. They had a lot of their
fabric marked 30% off so I got another 5 yards of four different fabrics.

With the exception of how Candy and her mother jerked us around with the
baby, it was a wonderful trip. I'm looking forward to our next visit.
Whenever that may be. I hope everyone here had a wonderful Christmas and New
Year. I have to make a baby quilt for a shower this week now so I'm off to
quilt.

Mika
http://community.webshots.com/user/mikasdrms

Howdy!
And wasn't the weather nice!?!

Glad you got to see your kids/grandkid.
From my own family experience, it seems the spouse is
only as controlling as the other spouse allows (my brother
put up w/ a controlling wife and her mother).

Hancock's and Hobby Lobby are good places to start
your fabric shopping. Next time, maybe some of the locals
can extend your reach. g

Happy New Year!
Welcome home.

Ragmop/Sandy--on the other side of the Metroplex ;-D
"Mika" wrote in message
...
Well we finally made it back from our trip to Dallas to see our son and
grandson. As it turns out DGS did NOT have chickenpox. It was a ploy by
Candy's mom to keep us from taking DGS to Arkansas to see my family for a
couple of days. We had planned to leave immediately after arriving in
Dallas Saturday afternoon and drive up there then come back on Monday.
Well, we didn't get to go because Candy allows her mother to dictate to
her what she will and will not do with DGS. We got to see him for about 2
hours on Saturday. Sunday she was supposed to bring him over at noon and
finally showed up around 2:30. She let us keep him overnight but picked
him up at 6:00 Monday morning. So we didn't see him at all from the time
he went to bed Sunday night until Tuesday evening.

Monday was DS's only day off and she refused to let us keep him that day.
Her mother made her pick him up at 6:00 in the morning and bring him home
then Candy went off to baby-sit some other kids. Left DGS with her mother.
She let us keep him Tuesday night and all day Wednesday then for a couple
of hours Thursday night. She had originally agreed to let us keep him the
whole time we were down there. But her mother is a total controlling,
jealous, manipulative screwball of a witch with a B and can't stand the
thought of DH and I being a part of his life.

Some may say that we should just be thankful for what time we did get to
spend with him, and we are. But we are also his grandparents and should
not be relegated to having to accept whatever crumbs the other
grandparents choose to dish out. But what goes around comes around. We had
a wonderful visit with DS and the baby. He is a joy and is so much like DS
was as a baby. We got to visit with DH's family some too and that was
good.

DH and I had some fabulous S.E.X so that kind of helped make up for the
fiasco with DGS. We went to Hancock Fabrics first. They had a table full
of fabric marked down to $1.77/yd and $1.97/yd so I got a total of 9 yards
in six different fabrics. Since we are doing a lot of remodeling in the
house I'm always on the lookout for something new for curtains. DH found
an upholstery type fabric that he really like that would make great
curtains for our kitchen. We almost bought it since it was marked 50% off.
But we decided to wait and see if we could find some up here rather than
having to pack that much fabric. Then we went to Hobby Lobby. They had a
lot of their fabric marked 30% off so I got another 5 yards of four
different fabrics.

With the exception of how Candy and her mother jerked us around with the
baby, it was a wonderful trip. I'm looking forward to our next visit.
Whenever that may be. I hope everyone here had a wonderful Christmas and
New Year. I have to make a baby quilt for a shower this week now so I'm
off to quilt.

Mika
http://community.webshots.com/user/mikasdrms

I am SO sorry to hear you had such an awful experience. It's a shame
that people who have children have to play such games with the
grandparents. Then there's the case like my newfound friend, who BTW
is related to me through marriage. Her only granddaughter is DH's
grand niece. The problem is, her son gave the daughter up for adoption
and she can't see her. I can't talk about the inlaws or the
granddaughter without my friend starting to cry, so I've stopped.
There are people in this world who can't see their grandchildren at
all, for one reason or another--not for a minute, an hour or even
overnight.

Just a story I thought I'd share...

Wouldn't ya know it. My Outlook Express is on the blink again so I'm
posting via google and it sucks.

Sandy, the weather was great. Not too hot, not too cold. And the rain
held off too. We thought we were gonna get a downpour at one point. But
it just stayed cloudy.

As far as your statement about the spouse is only as controlling as the
other spouse allows, our situation is a lot different. This is two 21
y/o kids who were never married. Candy and DS had been together for
five years and lived together off and on for over two years. But when
DGS was born in Feb. her mother wouldn't let up on her until she left
DS and moved back home. She even "persuaded" Candy to change DGS's
name. So he no longer has DS's last name. Therefore DS has absolutely
no rights or control other than what she chooses or her mother chooses
to allow him to have.

Candy has been domineered by her mother all her life and for the most
part doesn't have the guts to stand up for herself against her parents.
Since she lives at home with her parents, she feels that she can't say
no to them for fear that they will kick her out. And she can't afford
to live on her on. DS has begged her to move in with him, not to live
together as a couple but just to get her out of their house. But as
soon as she tells her mother, her mother offers her a better deal just
to get her to stay.

If it were just Candy we were dealing with, there wouldn't be a
problem. She would be more than willing to let us keep DGS anytime. But
her mother threatens to take him away from her and kick her out. So she
has to appease her parents. So DS, DGS, DH and I are the ones to suffer
in the long run.

We're hoping to help DS get legal rights in the very near future
though. Then the next time her mother won't be able to control our
visits with DGS.

As far as fabric shopping, I hope that the next time we're down that
way I'll be able to meet up with some of the DFW area RCTQer's. I
really wanted to this time but time just didn't permit it. Well, we
never knew from one minute to the next what Candy was gonna do as far
as letting us have the baby so we really couldn't make any plans. There
were some LQS's I wanted to visit but didn't have time to do that. I
hope we'll get to visit again this summer sometime.

Hugs,
Mika

Thank you for sharing the story with me Raye. I am so sorry for the
grief you're friend feels and I will keep her in my prayers that her
grief will heal. DH and I know how it is. He has two daughters that he
hasn't seen or spoken to since August 03. They are 14 & 17 now and
should have been with us this past summer and at Christmas. But because
their mother has alienated them from us so badly, they refuse to have
anything to do with us. It's a shame that a parent is so miserable with
their life that they have to use the children as pawns. But it happens
and there isn't a darn thing we can do about it.

Hi Mika, So sorry that you have this situation in your life. Obviously
this GM is a truly miserable person. She can only spread unhappiness and
maybe, I say maybe your DGS's Mom will grow up one day and see what it is
doing to her life. The next time you are here, please give us a head;s up
so we can have a RCTQ meet up. Happy New Year from Plano, Tx.

Linda

Not meaning to poke my nose in where I don't know the whole story but wasn't
your DS named as the father on the birth certificate? Surely that would
give him more rights than your DGS having your DS's last name? Just
wondering...

--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia
Queen of Down Under
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos
**********************
wrote in message
oups.com...
Wouldn't ya know it. My Outlook Express is on the blink again so I'm
posting via google and it sucks.

Sandy, the weather was great. Not too hot, not too cold. And the rain
held off too. We thought we were gonna get a downpour at one point. But
it just stayed cloudy.

As far as your statement about the spouse is only as controlling as the
other spouse allows, our situation is a lot different. This is two 21
y/o kids who were never married. Candy and DS had been together for
five years and lived together off and on for over two years. But when
DGS was born in Feb. her mother wouldn't let up on her until she left
DS and moved back home. She even "persuaded" Candy to change DGS's
name. So he no longer has DS's last name. Therefore DS has absolutely
no rights or control other than what she chooses or her mother chooses
to allow him to have.

Candy has been domineered by her mother all her life and for the most
part doesn't have the guts to stand up for herself against her parents.
Since she lives at home with her parents, she feels that she can't say
no to them for fear that they will kick her out. And she can't afford
to live on her on. DS has begged her to move in with him, not to live
together as a couple but just to get her out of their house. But as
soon as she tells her mother, her mother offers her a better deal just
to get her to stay.

If it were just Candy we were dealing with, there wouldn't be a
problem. She would be more than willing to let us keep DGS anytime. But
her mother threatens to take him away from her and kick her out. So she
has to appease her parents. So DS, DGS, DH and I are the ones to suffer
in the long run.

We're hoping to help DS get legal rights in the very near future
though. Then the next time her mother won't be able to control our
visits with DGS.

As far as fabric shopping, I hope that the next time we're down that
way I'll be able to meet up with some of the DFW area RCTQer's. I
really wanted to this time but time just didn't permit it. Well, we
never knew from one minute to the next what Candy was gonna do as far
as letting us have the baby so we really couldn't make any plans. There
were some LQS's I wanted to visit but didn't have time to do that. I
hope we'll get to visit again this summer sometime.

Hugs,
Mika

Irene, my DH and his 2nd ex have been divorced since 1991. His court ordered
visitation was all summer and whenever he and she could agree on other
times. Other times usually consisted of every other Christmas. From 1991
through 2002 he never missed a Child Support (CS) payment and never missed a
visitation.

Well in 2000 she decided that he had too much visitation and was paying too
little CS. So she took him too court for a modification. SD17, then 12,
wanted to come live with us so we filed a counter petition for custody. The
judge refused to even hear the case. He said his mind was already made up
and nothing DH could say would change it. She got the increase in CS but the
only change to visitation was that she got the girls back a 1 1/2 weeks
before school starts rather than 3 days and we got every spring break and
every other Christmas. But she threw in a clause about DH not going for
custody again unless the girls were "in imminent danger of physical harm."
We had no idea that she and the girls were hiding a dirty little secret that
they didn't want DH to know.

In 2002 we found out what the secret was. In the spring of 2000 (before she
filed the first petition) the mother's boyfriend sexually assaulted SD14,
who was 9 at the time. We immediately filed for custody, filed criminal
charges against him, and notified CPS. We went to court in November with
what should have been a slam dunk case for us getting custody. But the judge
ruled in her favor. He was mysteriously appointed Chief Judge just days
before he made his ruling.

DH and BM are supposed to share equally the costs of transportation for all
visitation. We had the girls for Christmas 2002 visitation and BM has yet to
reimburse us for her share of the airplane tickets. DH held it out of the CS
and got his wages garnished over it, all $243.50.

In 2003 BM refused to send the girls to us for spring break. When it came
time for them to come out for the summer she refused to send them again. So
DH and I drove 1500 one way, miles to Iowa to pick them up. They refused to
come with us and she refused to make them come. She said it was their
choice. Only it's not their choice, she is bound by court orders to make
them go. So we filed contempt charges against her. In July we drove back to
Iowa for court. She nor her attorney showed up so the judge found her in
contempt and ordered her to serve 7 days in jail and pay our attorney fees
and court costs.

Her attorney filed a motion to vacate that order and the judge vacated it.
Another court date was set in August so we drove back out there again. This
time BM and SD17 got on the witness stand and lied through their teeth. It
ended up with the judge bringing both girls into the courtroom and virtually
castrating DH in front of them. The judge said that he thought it was all
just a big fight and that he thought all summer was way too much visitation
anyway. He also said that step families complicate things and cause trouble.
So he dismissed our case. He did order DH to spend 6 hours with the girls
that day and it was their choice if they wanted me along or not. Of course
BM told them to not include me. There were just too many things that came
out of that judges' mouth for him not to have been persuaded, prior to the
hearing, to rule in BM's favor. He said things that he wouldn't have known
to say if BM and her attorney had not met with him before the hearing and
told him the stuff. I believe he was paid off.

That day in court was the last we've seen of the girls. We did get the
courts involved and all that accomplished was getting us deep in debt with
legal fees. Unfortunately there are crooked attorneys and judges out there
who really don't have the best interest of the children at heart. Any judge
who would tell a parent and child that any amount of visitation is too much
clearly is not looking out for the children. Any judge who would allow
children to stay with a parent who continues to allow a child to be in
contact with her molester is not looking out for the children. And any judge
who makes up his mind about a custody case without hearing both sides of the
case is not looking out for the children. This was three different judges
too. So the courts don't always enforce court orders nor do they look out
for the best interest of the children. It's a sad fact and it happens more
often than you would think.

Mika
http://community.webshots.com/user/mikasdrms



"IMS" wrote in message
...
Just a question, as I don't know.....but it seems that if a
non-custodial parent has visitation rights, can't that parent that has
visitation push the situation? That is, get the courts involved, if the
custodial parent is being really nasty about it? Seems that even the
non-custodial parents do have some rights...but maybe that's not the
case?

-Irene



--------------
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
--Mae West
--------------

Happy New Year to you too. Yes the GM is a miserable person. But the old
adage of "what goes around comes around" is coming back to bite her in the
bohunkus. She wasn't happy until she destroyed the relationship between
Candy and DS but now her own marriage has fallen apart. Her husband told her
a month or so ago that he doesn't love her anymore and wants a divorce. So
now she is even more bitter than ever. It's just sad that Candy is so
brainwashed by her that she can't stand on her own two feet. But yeah,
someday she'll grow up and realize that she has to make it own her own and
she'll be ok then.

I will definitely plan some time for a RCTQ meet up the next time. I wanted
to this time but we were supposed to go to Arkansas to visit my family. Then
that fell through and we were pretty much unable to plan anything because we
never knew when Candy was gonna let us have DGS. Next time we'll do it
though. I'm looking forward to meeting up with you and any others who can
make it.

Mika
http://community.webshots.com/user/mikasdrms


"nana2b" wrote in message
news:wlYBd.24054$_62.23979@trnddc01...
Hi Mika, So sorry that you have this situation in your life. Obviously
this GM is a truly miserable person. She can only spread unhappiness and
maybe, I say maybe your DGS's Mom will grow up one day and see what it is
doing to her life. The next time you are here, please give us a head;s up
so we can have a RCTQ meet up. Happy New Year from Plano, Tx.

Linda

DGS was originally given DS's last name. But when the baby was 5 days old,
at her mother's urging, Candy called the hospital and had DS removed as the
father on the birth certificate and changed DGS's middle name and last name.
He now has her last name, thereby removing any rights DS might have had. The
only thing he can do now is go to court and establish paternity then hope
the judge will give him parental rights.

Mika
http://community.webshots.com/user/mikasdrms


"Sharon Harper" wrote in message
...
Not meaning to poke my nose in where I don't know the whole story but
wasn't
your DS named as the father on the birth certificate? Surely that would
give him more rights than your DGS having your DS's last name? Just
wondering...

--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia
Queen of Down Under
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos
**********************
wrote in message
oups.com...
Wouldn't ya know it. My Outlook Express is on the blink again so I'm
posting via google and it sucks.

Sandy, the weather was great. Not too hot, not too cold. And the rain
held off too. We thought we were gonna get a downpour at one point. But
it just stayed cloudy.

As far as your statement about the spouse is only as controlling as the
other spouse allows, our situation is a lot different. This is two 21
y/o kids who were never married. Candy and DS had been together for
five years and lived together off and on for over two years. But when
DGS was born in Feb. her mother wouldn't let up on her until she left
DS and moved back home. She even "persuaded" Candy to change DGS's
name. So he no longer has DS's last name. Therefore DS has absolutely
no rights or control other than what she chooses or her mother chooses
to allow him to have.

Candy has been domineered by her mother all her life and for the most
part doesn't have the guts to stand up for herself against her parents.
Since she lives at home with her parents, she feels that she can't say
no to them for fear that they will kick her out. And she can't afford
to live on her on. DS has begged her to move in with him, not to live
together as a couple but just to get her out of their house. But as
soon as she tells her mother, her mother offers her a better deal just
to get her to stay.

If it were just Candy we were dealing with, there wouldn't be a
problem. She would be more than willing to let us keep DGS anytime. But
her mother threatens to take him away from her and kick her out. So she
has to appease her parents. So DS, DGS, DH and I are the ones to suffer
in the long run.

We're hoping to help DS get legal rights in the very near future
though. Then the next time her mother won't be able to control our
visits with DGS.

As far as fabric shopping, I hope that the next time we're down that
way I'll be able to meet up with some of the DFW area RCTQer's. I
really wanted to this time but time just didn't permit it. Well, we
never knew from one minute to the next what Candy was gonna do as far
as letting us have the baby so we really couldn't make any plans. There
were some LQS's I wanted to visit but didn't have time to do that. I
hope we'll get to visit again this summer sometime.

Hugs,
Mika