OT- Utterly and completely OT but a laugh anyway/Creation Story

My sister just sent this to me and it gave me the biggest laugh of the week.

-Su


Creation Story

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green
and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said, "You want
chocolate with that?" And Man
said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at
it, add some
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan
smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure that
Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour
from the wheat, and
sugar from the cane and combined them.

And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said,
"Try my fresh green
salad."

And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery
croutons and garlic
toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their
belts following the
repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it
needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and
his cholesterol went
through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and
said, "It is good."

Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those
extra pounds.

And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil
changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and
cried before the
flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with
nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into
chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said,
"You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super size them!"

And Satan said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.


Thought for the day ....... There is more money being
spent on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's
research. This means that by
2040, there should be a large elderly population with
perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
with them.

I very rarely forward anything to my friends (having scolded them
innumerable times for doing the same), but this had to go out.

I guess I do worship Satan after all. }:-

Arondelle
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