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#1
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Mini LNS Rant
That's what I call a true addict! Fred - it's all about rotation!
-- Dannielle from NY http://www.beitzell.com/dannielle/index.htm "Fred" wrote in message ... There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest. Yesterday I ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another story). Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30 to 40 mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho bucks in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3 more hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be there within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked. Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked her if she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down the street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery within a half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping. Have the pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my address. She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I tell her that I'm going to attempt the drive. After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is about 1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my DW shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair because she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess. Anyhooo after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to the LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is shaking her head as I walked in. I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!! She tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and leave - I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was getting worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the drive way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots. Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle cotton - 3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she only had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that skein and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7 hours from now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to be cleared before I can get out again. Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton, can't even get the stuff when one risks life and limb. Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". |
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#2
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ROTFLMAO!!!! absolutely priceless, Fred!
-- Star love, Norma "Fred" wrote in message ... There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest. Yesterday I ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another story). Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30 to 40 mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho bucks in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3 more hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be there within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked. Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked her if she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down the street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery within a half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping. Have the pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my address. She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I tell her that I'm going to attempt the drive. After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is about 1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my DW shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair because she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess. Anyhooo after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to the LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is shaking her head as I walked in. I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!! She tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and leave - I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was getting worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the drive way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots. Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle cotton - 3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she only had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that skein and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7 hours from now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to be cleared before I can get out again. Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton, can't even get the stuff when one risks life and limb. Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". |
#3
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Hi Norma,
Now for the epologue, Yesterday morning my DW gives me a lesson in central cost accounting finger style.... Thumb - At least 3 hours of my time wasted. Now that is debateable! Finger - 1. Cost of at least 3 gallons of gas. Finger - 2. Cost of at least 3 hours depreciation of the vehicle. Finger - 3. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the motor and transmission of the vehicle. Finger - 4. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the tires. Thumb - $2.40 plus tax for one skein of perle cotton. Finger - 1. I forgot to get a pizza. Finger - 2. Dead silence! The good news is that the storm blew itself out yesterday morning and I walked 1/2 mile to another LNS and got the other skein that I needed while everyone else around here shovelled out the three trucks stuck in the driveway. The road to that fabric emporium was blocked the night before and I wasn't about to walk that far in the storm. Come spring we will all just consider it a minor bump in the road of life although my DW tends to remind me of the bumps from time to time. Geeeesh some of those bumps where 40+ years ago. LOL Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". "norma woods" wrote in message ... ROTFLMAO!!!! absolutely priceless, Fred! -- Star love, Norma "Fred" wrote in message ... There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest. Yesterday I ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another story). Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30 to 40 mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho bucks in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3 more hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be there within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked. Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked her if she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down the street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery within a half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping. Have the pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my address. She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I tell her that I'm going to attempt the drive. After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is about 1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my DW shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair because she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess. Anyhooo after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to the LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is shaking her head as I walked in. I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!! She tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and leave - I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was getting worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the drive way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots. Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle cotton - 3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she only had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that skein and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7 hours from now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to be cleared before I can get out again. Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton, can't even get the stuff when one risks life and limb. Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". |
#4
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Your DW must truly love you. You forgot to get a pizza and you are
still alive?!? You do take the biscuit, Fred! My friend who used to deliver pizzas told me she expected to receive tips of $20 and up (each) when making deliveries during a blizzard. If you had remembered the pizza, you could tell your wife you got off cheap... Fred wrote: Hi Norma, Now for the epologue, Yesterday morning my DW gives me a lesson in central cost accounting finger style.... Thumb - At least 3 hours of my time wasted. Now that is debateable! Finger - 1. Cost of at least 3 gallons of gas. Finger - 2. Cost of at least 3 hours depreciation of the vehicle. Finger - 3. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the motor and transmission of the vehicle. Finger - 4. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the tires. Thumb - $2.40 plus tax for one skein of perle cotton. Finger - 1. I forgot to get a pizza. Finger - 2. Dead silence! -- Brenda Lewis WIP: "Pink Baby" photo frame, Candamar |
#5
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The good news is that the storm blew itself out yesterday morning and I walked 1/2 mile to another LNS and got the other skein that I needed while everyone else around here shovelled out the three trucks stuck in the driveway. The road to that fabric emporium was blocked the night before and I wasn't about to walk that far in the storm. Fred Sheesh!!! If I had an LNS 1/2 mile away, I would have made some snowshoes to get there! :-))) Our mailbox alone is 1/2 mile away, with a 200 foot climb in 1/4 mile to deal with. :-))))) I've considered sliding down the last 1/4 mile on an innertube or something (on our whole 3 inches of snow) , but it would be way too embarrassing to have to explain if I got hurt. :-))) Not complaining, mind you, we love living out here in the sticks, just chuckling over not wanting to go 1/2 mile to an LNS. It must be some wicked 1/2 mile if you were willing to drive the other direction to the other store. :-)))))) Liz from Humbug |
#6
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What a wonderful story, Fred! LOL I've really enjoyed your style of writing.
Hope you keep up with your writing. ;-) -- Star love, Norma "Fred" wrote in message ... Hi Norma, Now for the epologue, Yesterday morning my DW gives me a lesson in central cost accounting finger style.... Thumb - At least 3 hours of my time wasted. Now that is debateable! Finger - 1. Cost of at least 3 gallons of gas. Finger - 2. Cost of at least 3 hours depreciation of the vehicle. Finger - 3. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the motor and transmission of the vehicle. Finger - 4. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the tires. Thumb - $2.40 plus tax for one skein of perle cotton. Finger - 1. I forgot to get a pizza. Finger - 2. Dead silence! The good news is that the storm blew itself out yesterday morning and I walked 1/2 mile to another LNS and got the other skein that I needed while everyone else around here shovelled out the three trucks stuck in the driveway. The road to that fabric emporium was blocked the night before and I wasn't about to walk that far in the storm. Come spring we will all just consider it a minor bump in the road of life although my DW tends to remind me of the bumps from time to time. Geeeesh some of those bumps where 40+ years ago. LOL Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". "norma woods" wrote in message ... ROTFLMAO!!!! absolutely priceless, Fred! -- Star love, Norma "Fred" wrote in message ... There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest. Yesterday I ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another story). Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30 to 40 mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho bucks in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3 more hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be there within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked. Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked her if she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down the street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery within a half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping. Have the pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my address. She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I tell her that I'm going to attempt the drive. After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is about 1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my DW shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair because she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess. Anyhooo after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to the LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is shaking her head as I walked in. I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!! She tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and leave - I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was getting worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the drive way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots. Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle cotton - 3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she only had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that skein and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7 hours from now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to be cleared before I can get out again. Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton, can't even get the stuff when one risks life and limb. Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". |
#7
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I should add a ps to the story?? OK, I take my 2 skeins of perle cotton and
put them in my stash cupboard right beside the o............. The remainder let's just blame on writers block since this isn't a confessional booth. LOL Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". "norma woods" wrote in message .. . What a wonderful story, Fred! LOL I've really enjoyed your style of writing. Hope you keep up with your writing. ;-) -- Star love, Norma "Fred" wrote in message ... Hi Norma, Now for the epologue, Yesterday morning my DW gives me a lesson in central cost accounting finger style.... Thumb - At least 3 hours of my time wasted. Now that is debateable! Finger - 1. Cost of at least 3 gallons of gas. Finger - 2. Cost of at least 3 hours depreciation of the vehicle. Finger - 3. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the motor and transmission of the vehicle. Finger - 4. Cost of at least 3 hours wear and tear on the tires. Thumb - $2.40 plus tax for one skein of perle cotton. Finger - 1. I forgot to get a pizza. Finger - 2. Dead silence! The good news is that the storm blew itself out yesterday morning and I walked 1/2 mile to another LNS and got the other skein that I needed while everyone else around here shovelled out the three trucks stuck in the driveway. The road to that fabric emporium was blocked the night before and I wasn't about to walk that far in the storm. Come spring we will all just consider it a minor bump in the road of life although my DW tends to remind me of the bumps from time to time. Geeeesh some of those bumps where 40+ years ago. LOL Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". "norma woods" wrote in message ... ROTFLMAO!!!! absolutely priceless, Fred! -- Star love, Norma "Fred" wrote in message ... There is something that I just have to get off my widdow chest. Yesterday I ran out of black perle cotton (hate the stuff but that's another story). Anyway we are in the middle of a pretty nasty winter storm. -25º, 30 to 40 mph winds and loads of snow. I called an LNS where I have left mucho bucks in the past to fine out how long she would be open. She tells me 3 more hours. I say no problem it is only about 6 miles and that I would be there within the hour. She tells me that the roads are blocked. Not to be fouled by mother nature I got a "brilliant" idea. I asked her if she could take a 2 skeins of black #3 and walk a few hundred feet down the street from her store to a pizza place that boasts free delivery within a half hour. Buy me a medium pizza with cheese and pineapple topping. Have the pizza place deliver the pizza and the skeins of perle cotton to my address. She said no, that one couldn't see 50 feet in the storm. Soooooo I tell her that I'm going to attempt the drive. After a couple of attempts I finally get out of the drive way. Snow is about 1 foot deep but manageable. As I pull away from the house I notice my DW shaking her head. I hadn't noticed but she must have washed her hair because she often shakes her head shortly after - fluffs it up I guess. Anyhooo after about an hour groping my way through the storm I finally get to the LNS. Ha, she must have just washed her hair also because she is shaking her head as I walked in. I get out my wallet to pay for the 2 skeins - aaaaarrrrgggggggg!!!! She tells me that she only has 1 skein left. I quietly pay for it and leave - I'm shaking my head and I haven't even washed my hair. The storm was getting worse but I eventually get home and have a wee tussle getting into the drive way because the snow is now over 1-1/2 feet deep in most spots. Total elapsed time for !!!ONE!!! bloody - er- black skein of perle cotton - 3 flaming hours. Me thinks the LNS owner could have told me that she only had 1 skein. I "might" have waited until the weather cleared which is supposed to happen later this morning. Yup! I've already used up that skein and now I have to wait till another LNS opens and that could be 7 hours from now. There is over 2 feet of snow in the drive way which will have to be cleared before I can get out again. Now I have another reason to hate bloody - er - black perle cotton, can't even get the stuff when one risks life and limb. Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". |
#8
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"Brenda Lewis" wrote in message
... Your DW must truly love you. You forgot to get a pizza and you are still alive?!? You do take the biscuit, Fred! My friend who used to deliver pizzas told me she expected to receive tips of $20 and up (each) when making deliveries during a blizzard. If you had remembered the pizza, you could tell your wife you got off cheap... When one suddenly comes on snow drifts that are over 18" deep without a 4x4 one justs mutters a few hail marthas, closes one's eyes and hopes for devine deliverance. Pizza is the last thing on one's mind.LOL $20 tip for delivering a pizza - geeeeeeeesh - I'm in the wrong business. Fred http://www.stitchaway.com If you are on thin ice you might as well dance! W.I.P. - "Fiddler on the Roof". W.I.L., "Romantic Venice", "Ocean Princess", "Southwest Charm", "Rainbow Trail", "Indian Pottery", "One Earth", "Spirit of the Full Moon" and "+?", "+?", "+?". |
#9
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Au contraire! It would have taken my old car so long to make such a
trip that I would be starving and in desperate need of a bathroom by the time I got to the shop. It is {gasp, shock, horror} entirely possible I would remember the pizza and forget to pick up the perle. Not really an outrageous tip considering you are risking your life and your vehicle in those conditions. OTOH, she sure liked bringing home $600 cash for a night's work and it was a job she could tell her mother about! Fred wrote: When one suddenly comes on snow drifts that are over 18" deep without a 4x4 one justs mutters a few hail marthas, closes one's eyes and hopes for devine deliverance. Pizza is the last thing on one's mind.LOL $20 tip for delivering a pizza - geeeeeeeesh - I'm in the wrong business. -- Brenda Lewis WIP: "Pink Baby" photo frame, Candamar |
#10
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I just have one question. What are you stitching that you were able to
use an entire skein of perle floss in one day? Even when I spend an entire day stitching hardanger I think I would be hard pressed to use that much floss. I think it's a good thing I don't live as close to my LNS as you live to yours otherwise I would have a whole lot more stash. It's bad enough that I can arrange my drive home from work to go right past my LNS and not have to go out of my way. Anne (in Ellicott City, MD) |
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