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#71
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tee hee - you sound like my twin!
At least with the cats I can always ban them from being near my beads Kathy K "Carla" wrote in message link.net... I used to hear it *lots* back when I was still breedable g. "What would happen to the world if more women felt like you? If they just decided they didn't *want* kids, huh?" I'd answer with stuff like, "There'd be a lot fewer idiots in traffic." Lessee...I was also called a race traitor ("It's your *duty* as a Black woman to be the mother of future leaders of our people!") Eh...at my age, I don't get those kind of questions/remarks anymore g. People want to know if I regret that I'll never have grandchildren. (No, they'd want to touch my beads!) Cheers, Carla Kalera Stratton wrote: splort HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! cough cough cough choke Who came up with that COMPLETELY MENTALLY DEFICIENT line of reasoning? I'm sorry, I love kids and I'm glad I had them but that is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time! -Kalera http://www.beadwife.com http://www.snipurl.com/kebay Carla wrote: The "selfishness" comes from not doing our part to ensure the future of the human race (that's what I've been told, anyway). Oh, and let's not forget "emotionally stunted". Cheers, Carla (selfishly childfree g) Kalera Stratton wrote: I'm boggling. What do people think is selfish about not having children? I always thought it was the opposite! |
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#72
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uh oh - sounds like she is channeling Sooz!
Kathy K "Kalera Stratton" wrote in message ... DUDE! This is the most random and wierd thing, but Juliet just said "Mom, someday can you take me to Las Vegas?" ????? I asked her where she came up with that, and she said "I hear things in my brain sometimes, and my brain told me that I want to go to Las Vegas." My child is WIERD. -Kalera http://www.beadwife.com http://www.snipurl.com/kebay Kalera Stratton wrote: boggle WHO takes a baby to Las Vegas??? And WHY??? -Kalera http://www.beadwife.com http://www.snipurl.com/kebay |
#73
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Maybe I'm unusually blasé about this issue.
I had my first at 18, 37 years ago. Roger was an "accident". And that term may seem offensive to some now, but 37 years ago was before birth control was reliable, and accidents were just a fact of life. Actually "accident" was a much nicer term than "mistake", which was usually more correct! Instead of having people ask why I didn't have children, I had people deliberately refraining from criticizing me for "getting myself pregnant". At 18 this was certainly no "planned family". I may have been blissfully ignorant. I may have considered that we all have whatever our own reproductive luck we have. The criticisms I heard were about those un-restrained Catholic breeders, all with 5 or 6 children. People without children a year after getting married, were assumed to be lucky, or maybe they were professional people who went to a lot of trouble, and some sacrifice (of pleasure) to avoid having children before they could care for them. Usually people were politely quiet about children having children as in my case, as well as people being unwilling or unable to have children. I don't think people who don't have children are selfish. I do think that many people who wish they had children are better off than they would have been if they had been very fertile and had had children as teen-agers. Tina "Kalera Stratton" wrote in message ... That's another one of those things I wonder about... why people have the sheel gall to ask about your reproductive life in the first place. When I was pregnant with Sam, some of my coworkers seemed to think it was impossible that it had been a purposeful pregnancy. (I was 28 but looked 19.) The third time someone asked if my pregnancy was "planned", I said "Well, my husband and I *weren't* using birth control, but we *were* having sex, so it wasn't completely unexpected." (something to that effect, I don't remember the exact wording.) You have never seen so much backpedaling in your entire life! It was hilarious! Another person asked me "how it happened". I looked at them like "YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME" and asked "Do you really need me to explain it?" What is WRONG with people? WHY do they feel like your reproductive tract is their business? -Kalera http://www.beadwife.com http://www.snipurl.com/kebay Dr. Sooz wrote: No one *dares* tell me I went without giving birth because I'm "selfish". I will then tell them the horrible story of how ruined I was to be found sterile at age 19 -- with details of the surgery and recovery. Hope they feel like heels. ~~ Sooz ------- "Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance ~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html |
#74
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Haw haw! Well, that info about Juliet's brain even had ME a tad scared......
uh oh - sounds like she is channeling Sooz! Kathy K "Kalera Stratton" wrote in message ... DUDE! This is the most random and wierd thing, but Juliet just said "Mom, someday can you take me to Las Vegas?" ????? I asked her where she came up with that, and she said "I hear things in my brain sometimes, and my brain told me that I want to go to Las Vegas." My child is WIERD. ~~ Sooz ------- "Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance ~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html |
#75
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"Dr. Sooz" wrote:
Good way to get your child snatched by perverts. Who else do they think hangs out in malls, looking for kids to prey upon? Big DUH. ~~ Remember Adam Walsh. Linda2 |
#76
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Hmm. I think it was common to loan children out in the Scandinavian countries
as well. My great grandmother had 13 children. (Very tired looking woman in the photo.) It is my understanding that at least a couple of them were raised by other relatives. A great grandfather from another branch of the family tree was a 'loan'. And I know my aunt on my mother's side spoke of several relatives who ended up being raised by people other than their parents. Of course in those days, people never left their villages, so a child probably often still was in close contact with the birth family. Dora "Christina Peterson" My daughter asked if I felt bad that I didn't have any grandchildren (5 years ago). I responded that I could always borrow them. And after saying that I realized it was an odd thing to say. But you see, in Alaska, both the Athabaskan and the Eskimo societies believe children are an asset of the village/tribe, and they are shared. Someone with 6 children would probably have a daughter living with a relative without daughters, or a son living with an uncle who needed someone to pass on his skills/trade to. A child would be "given" to an "grandparent" to learn stories or herbal lore, while hauling water for the elder. These traditions were more necessary in more difficult times, but they are still part of the lifestyle. People "from the village" commonly speak of "my mother" referring to someone who birthed them, and "my Mom" as someone who raised them, or someone who took over their care when there was some sort of problem. And they might have as many as 3 or 4 of these "my mother"s. There is acknowledgement that all children are not psychologically suited to their parents. We all love our children, but sometimes we don't like them. There's no shame in that. We need uncles and grandparents and cousins, etc, but they don't have to be blood relatives. And every village needs children, but not every adult needs them. Tina "Carla" wrote ... People want to know if I regret that I'll never have grandchildren. (No, they'd want to touch my beads!) Cheers, Carla |
#77
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Oh, villages vary from less than a hundred to a few thousand. It's the kind
of thing that evolved from a small group of people needing to be very careful to make full use of their "human resources" in a hostile environment. The dynamic continues as people move to towns, like Nome, etc. Tina "vj" wrote in message ... vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson" : ]We need uncles and grandparents and cousins, etc, but they don't have to be ]blood relatives. And every village needs children, but not every adult ]needs them. it certainly sounds like it works. how large [in numbers] is each village, tho? ----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books) http://www.booksnbytes.com newest creations: http://www.vickijean.com/new.html ----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all. |
#78
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I imagine my grandparents were born at a similar time to your grandmother --
in the 1860s, in Denmark. As the daughter of a "man of means" (farm owner, in this case), she was sent to a neighbour to be trained where she earned the title of "Butter-maker" (Denmark's major export), after which she came home as a professional Butter-maker. My grandfather grew up on a shore, where hardly any plants grew, to a sea-faring family. They were followers of Martin Luther, and because they believed in sharing all they had, they were very poor. When he was 12, my grandfather was "turned over" to a rich farmer to be his "boy" (young farm hand). Though he never had even a day of school, my grandfather came to own a store, and was successful enough to move to the USA and owned a store there. I wonder if my grandmother taught he reading writing and Arithmetic. After a few years in America, Grandpa sent for Beste. She spend 3 weeks first on a ship and then on a train to get to him. She was unable to speak English and had 6 children with her So, it looks like children were sent out to learn a trade as my grandmother did, and also to make their own way in the world as my grandfather did, when they were teens or near teens. Children were shared for the resource they were, but there was also great affection. And of course, with Queen Kristine of Sweden, the Scandinavian countries also had a strong tradition of strong women. Tina "Bungadora" wrote in message ... Hmm. I think it was common to loan children out in the Scandinavian countries as well. My great grandmother had 13 children. (Very tired looking woman in the photo.) It is my understanding that at least a couple of them were raised by other relatives. A great grandfather from another branch of the family tree was a 'loan'. And I know my aunt on my mother's side spoke of several relatives who ended up being raised by people other than their parents. Of course in those days, people never left their villages, so a child probably often still was in close contact with the birth family. Dora "Christina Peterson" My daughter asked if I felt bad that I didn't have any grandchildren (5 years ago). I responded that I could always borrow them. And after saying that I realized it was an odd thing to say. But you see, in Alaska, both the Athabaskan and the Eskimo societies believe children are an asset of the village/tribe, and they are shared. Someone with 6 children would probably have a daughter living with a relative without daughters, or a son living with an uncle who needed someone to pass on his skills/trade to. A child would be "given" to an "grandparent" to learn stories or herbal lore, while hauling water for the elder. These traditions were more necessary in more difficult times, but they are still part of the lifestyle. People "from the village" commonly speak of "my mother" referring to someone who birthed them, and "my Mom" as someone who raised them, or someone who took over their care when there was some sort of problem. And they might have as many as 3 or 4 of these "my mother"s. There is acknowledgement that all children are not psychologically suited to their parents. We all love our children, but sometimes we don't like them. There's no shame in that. We need uncles and grandparents and cousins, etc, but they don't have to be blood relatives. And every village needs children, but not every adult needs them. Tina "Carla" wrote ... People want to know if I regret that I'll never have grandchildren. (No, they'd want to touch my beads!) Cheers, Carla |
#79
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The ties are strong enough that this sort of thing continues to work as
people move from the villages to Fairbanks and Anchorage. It's just a different attitude. People consider the children to belong to the village and the child's ownself, rather than to the parent. Tina "vj" wrote in message ... vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson" : ]Oh, villages vary from less than a hundred to a few thousand. It's the kind ]of thing that evolved from a small group of people needing to be very ]careful to make full use of their "human resources" in a hostile ]environment. The dynamic continues as people move to towns, like Nome, etc. that's what i thought. my mind was boggling at the idea of getting it to work in someplace like Sacrament, San Francisco, LA, or even Paradise. ----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books) http://www.booksnbytes.com newest creations: http://www.vickijean.com/new.html ----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all. |
#80
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That's one of the reasons why I love Alaska and the Alaskans. The culture
is just so different up there. "vj" wrote in message ... vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson" : ]The ties are strong enough that this sort of thing continues to work as ]people move from the villages to Fairbanks and Anchorage. It's just a ]different attitude. People consider the children to belong to the village ]and the child's ownself, rather than to the parent. fascinating. ----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books) http://www.booksnbytes.com newest creations: http://www.vickijean.com/new.html ----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all. |
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