OT - Happiness Envy?

For the personality experts he
I'm trying really hard to understand a circumstance
that I've become aware of----
Is there a name or a condition in a relationship where
one is so jealous of the other person's happiness that
one deliberately does something that is guaranteed to
make their partner unhappy, in spite of knowing that
doing so makes their own life misearble too?
Mickie

I believe its called sabotage, and it happens to dieters a lot. The
dieter finds the spouse bringing exactly the sort of high calorie food
into the house that the dieter finds hardest to resist. Of course it can
take a lot of other forms as well.
Diana

wrote:
For the personality experts he
I'm trying really hard to understand a circumstance
that I've become aware of----
Is there a name or a condition in a relationship where
one is so jealous of the other person's happiness that
one deliberately does something that is guaranteed to
make their partner unhappy, in spite of knowing that
doing so makes their own life misearble too?
Mickie

I'm not sure it's really jealousy, directly. More of an "if you're that
happy and fulfilled by something other than me, I feel really threatened,
because it obviously means you don't need me, and will probably dump me Any
Minute Now" as best I can observe.

Used to be married to one of those: any time I tried to go back to school,
he'd claim to be supportive, but once I was enrolled, suddenly life was
filled with events that just happened to occur when I should be in class
that absolutely required my attendance. It was pretty clear that he was of
the opinion that should I become capable of making a decent salary, he'd
become superfluous and I'd leave.

Wasn't the only place he behaved that way, but certainly the most blatant.

The sad bit, of course, is that when people consistently behave that way,
they cause what they most fear: eventually sheer exasperation, if nothing
else, will cause you to cut them loose from your life.

--pig


On 8/11/05 11:53, in article
,
" wrote:

For the personality experts he
I'm trying really hard to understand a circumstance
that I've become aware of----
Is there a name or a condition in a relationship where
one is so jealous of the other person's happiness that
one deliberately does something that is guaranteed to
make their partner unhappy, in spite of knowing that
doing so makes their own life misearble too?
Mickie


--

"Listpig" wrote in message
...

The sad bit, of course, is that when people consistently behave that way,
they cause what they most fear: eventually sheer exasperation, if nothing
else, will cause you to cut them loose from your life.


I know! It's like when you are dating someone and they keep saying how they
aren't good enough for you and pretty soon, you start thinking maybe they're
right!

Cindy

manifest destiny?
if you want something bad enough you shall get it by your own actions..
be it good or bad.
just a thought.
jeanne
who must watch her own actions sometimes in this dept, dont say it any of
you who know me better, i know i know and i'm trying to improve
--
san-fran at ihug dot co dot nz
nzlstar on yahoo msg'r
http://community.webshots.com/user/nzlstar

"Listpig" wrote...
I'm not sure it's really jealousy, directly. More of an "if you're that
happy and fulfilled by something other than me, I feel really threatened,
because it obviously means you don't need me, and will probably dump me
Any
Minute Now" as best I can observe.

Used to be married to one of those: any time I tried to go back to school,
he'd claim to be supportive, but once I was enrolled, suddenly life was
filled with events that just happened to occur when I should be in class
that absolutely required my attendance. It was pretty clear that he was
of
the opinion that should I become capable of making a decent salary, he'd
become superfluous and I'd leave.

Wasn't the only place he behaved that way, but certainly the most blatant.

The sad bit, of course, is that when people consistently behave that way,
they cause what they most fear: eventually sheer exasperation, if nothing
else, will cause you to cut them loose from your life.

--pig



"Mickie" wrote:
For the personality experts he
I'm trying really hard to understand a circumstance
that I've become aware of----
Is there a name or a condition in a relationship where
one is so jealous of the other person's happiness that
one deliberately does something that is guaranteed to
make their partner unhappy, in spite of knowing that
doing so makes their own life misearble too?
Mickie

wrote:
For the personality experts he
I'm trying really hard to understand a circumstance
that I've become aware of----
Is there a name or a condition in a relationship where
one is so jealous of the other person's happiness that
one deliberately does something that is guaranteed to
make their partner unhappy in spite of knowing that
doing so makes their own life miserable too?


The technical term is "cutting off your nose to spite your face."


I bopped in here to ask an off topic question about a quote, and this
seemed like the appropriate place to ask it as we're already off topic.
Can anyone place the following:


"Oh the pain of telling these truths which are so necessary to tell or
why write or why live."


I am NOT sure that's exactly it. It is something along those lines.
Somehow I'm thinking T.S.Eliot is associated with the lines, but then I
look again and it doesn't sound like him. Same for Joyce Carol Oates.
Anyone?


--Lia

I think, tho I could be wrong, that it was Ozzy Osbourne.
Diana

Julia Altshuler wrote:
wrote:

For the personality experts he
I'm trying really hard to understand a circumstance
that I've become aware of----
Is there a name or a condition in a relationship where
one is so jealous of the other person's happiness that
one deliberately does something that is guaranteed to
make their partner unhappy in spite of knowing that
doing so makes their own life miserable too?



The technical term is "cutting off your nose to spite your face."


I bopped in here to ask an off topic question about a quote, and this
seemed like the appropriate place to ask it as we're already off topic.
Can anyone place the following:


"Oh the pain of telling these truths which are so necessary to tell or
why write or why live."


I am NOT sure that's exactly it. It is something along those lines.
Somehow I'm thinking T.S.Eliot is associated with the lines, but then I
look again and it doesn't sound like him. Same for Joyce Carol Oates.
Anyone?


--Lia

Mickie, I've thought long and hard on your question and don't know a name.
But I'd imagine the question really is - is being aware of the condition
helpful? Yes, I think it is. Polly

"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
...
wrote:
For the personality experts he
I'm trying really hard to understand a circumstance
that I've become aware of----
Is there a name or a condition in a relationship where
one is so jealous of the other person's happiness that
one deliberately does something that is guaranteed to
make their partner unhappy in spite of knowing that
doing so makes their own life miserable too?


The technical term is "cutting off your nose to spite your face."


I bopped in here to ask an off topic question about a quote, and this
seemed like the appropriate place to ask it as we're already off topic.
Can anyone place the following:


"Oh the pain of telling these truths which are so necessary to tell or why
write or why live."


I am NOT sure that's exactly it. It is something along those lines.
Somehow I'm thinking T.S.Eliot is associated with the lines, but then I
look again and it doesn't sound like him. Same for Joyce Carol Oates.
Anyone?


--Lia

Well Mickie, I am not a shrink, but I think this would be a very
controlling person with great lack of self esteem. But I want to
know, do you mean jealousy or envy? We tend to use those words
interchangeably, but they are not the same. Jealousy means one
wants to keep the object/person to oneself, while envy means one
wants something that another person has. So, does the person
afraid for her partner to have any happiness away from her, or
does she have overwhelming desire to have a similar happiness of
her own account?

PAT in VA/USA

wrote:

For the personality experts he
I'm trying really hard to understand a circumstance
that I've become aware of----
Is there a name or a condition in a relationship where
one is so jealous of the other person's happiness that
one deliberately does something that is guaranteed to
make their partner unhappy, in spite of knowing that
doing so makes their own life misearble too?
Mickie

Sylvia Plath?

PAT

Julia Altshuler wrote:


I bopped in here to ask an off topic question about a quote, and this
seemed like the appropriate place to ask it as we're already off topic.
Can anyone place the following:


"Oh the pain of telling these truths which are so necessary to tell or
why write or why live."


I am NOT sure that's exactly it. It is something along those lines.
Somehow I'm thinking T.S.Eliot is associated with the lines, but then I
look again and it doesn't sound like him. Same for Joyce Carol Oates.
Anyone?