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inherited piece



 
 
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  #11  
Old January 15th 04, 05:15 PM
BDS2pds
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I don't want you all to think I am ungrateful.... She did not present it as
valuable. She handed others pearls, paintings, significant things at the
meeting. I realize now that I was feeling slighted once again by her and
feeling much stronger about it now. I did not marry her--I married her son and
he does not treat me badly. It was embarassing.
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  #12  
Old January 15th 04, 11:27 PM
Bungadora
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The real value in inheriting things comes in remembering the person who gave
them to you. If she chooses to be remembered by you via a dirty old piece of
needlepoint, it is her decision. Perhaps she regards it as an accurate
representation of her psyche.

It's too bad she didn't make a gesture that would heal all the old wounds, and
you will have to accept that she likely will not. Then you get on with your own
life.
Dora

(BDS2pds)



I don't want you all to think I am ungrateful.... She did not present it as
valuable. She handed others pearls, paintings, significant things at the
meeting. I realize now that I was feeling slighted once again by her and
feeling much stronger about it now. I did not marry her--I married her son
and
he does not treat me badly. It was embarassing.








  #13  
Old January 19th 04, 03:01 AM
Deb Milner
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On 15 Jan 2004 16:15:00 GMT, (BDS2pds) wrote:

I don't want you all to think I am ungrateful.... She did not present it as
valuable. She handed others pearls, paintings, significant things at the
meeting. I realize now that I was feeling slighted once again by her and
feeling much stronger about it now. I did not marry her--I married her son and
he does not treat me badly. It was embarassing.



My former MIL was that way to me, I (and most of the family) could
tell that she didn't really like me.

One glaring example was the year that she held the joint birthday
party for my SIL and Nephew (both with birthdays on the 21st of
December), with a beautiful cake wishing them both a Happy Birthday,
and lovely gifts. Since the 21st was on Wednesday that year, she had
the party on Sunday, the 18th, which actually IS my birthday.

When my former DH mentioned it to her, and that perhaps my name should
have been on the cake, her response to him was "Why?".

I would get the K-Mart flannel nightgown for Christmas, while here
other DIL and SIL would get beautiful gifts.

I finally got used to it, but it still always hurt some.

What is truly ironic is that a few years ago, she had a stroke.
Fortunately, she did not wind up with any paralysis, unfortunately,
she has severe memory and cognitive problems.

While in the hospital, one of her nurses apparently resembled me to a
certain extent. She was absolutely tickled and waxed enthusiastic to
my ex and his siblings about how wonderful it was that I had come to
take care of her while she was ill. No amount of clarification could
convince her that the nurse was not me.

When I was up to visit that summer, she thanked me for being there for
her, and told me how very happy she was to see me. After all, I had
always been her favorite.

For years, she did NOT like me at all. She made it very clear. She
would say the most horrible things about me to others.

NOW, I am and have always been her favorite DIL, and she is always
happy to see me.


--
Deb

WIP: How Great Thou Art (Leisure Arts Greatest Hymns II)
  #14  
Old January 19th 04, 04:51 AM
Karen C - California
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In article , Deb Milner
writes:

I would get the K-Mart flannel nightgown for Christmas, while here
other DIL and SIL would get beautiful gifts.


Yep. XMIL would buy her own children expensive gifts, and even SIL's live-in
got expensive gifts, and I got whatever could be found for under $5. Now,
granted, I made good use of the Woolworth's stationery, but wasn't I even worth
the $10 box from Hallmark? I was also the only one who never got a birthday
present.


--
Finished 12/14/03 -- Mermaid (Dimensions)
WIP: Angel of Autumn, Calif Sampler, Holiday Snowglobe, Guide the Hands (2d
one)

Paralegal - Writer - Editor - Researcher
http://hometown.aol.com/kmc528/KMC.html
  #15  
Old January 19th 04, 07:27 AM
Jenn Liace
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On 19 Jan 2004 03:51:53 GMT, S (Karen C -
California) wrote:

I would get the K-Mart flannel nightgown for Christmas, while here
other DIL and SIL would get beautiful gifts.


Yep. XMIL would buy her own children expensive gifts, and even SIL's live-in
got expensive gifts, and I got whatever could be found for under $5. Now,
granted, I made good use of the Woolworth's stationery, but wasn't I even worth
the $10 box from Hallmark? I was also the only one who never got a birthday
present.


Boy does this sound familiar. I've gotten nothing at all ffrom the
STBXH or his parents for the past 3 years. (His SIL did get me a
stuffed animal one year, whoopeee) My daughters have gotten one
single toy purchased at a dollar store each of those years, while
their cousins by the eldest son have gotten several outfits each plus
3-4 "higher end" toys (name brands, current editions - Heather got a
Harry Potter & Sorcerer's Stone figurine AFTER Chamber released, for
example). One of those years, in fact, my daughters' single packages
were wrapped in Bounty paper toweling while the cousins' gifts were in
foil embossed papers.

If money were an issue for his parents and if all of the kids were
treated remotely evenly, i would have had no problem with dollar store
castoffs and shall we say creative wrapping. But Angelo and Isabella
are so blatantly and repeatedly favored over Heather and Missy that
even Missy at 5 years old and classified as developmentally disabled
could tell that she was getting short shrift. It should be absolutely
no surprise to STBXH or his parents that my children don't want to
spend time with them - yet I'm somehow a bad mother for forcing my
kids to go to his family's get together and be embarrased and shorted
yet again.



Jenn L.
http://community.webshots.com/user/jaliace
http://sewu9corn.blogspot.com
Current projects:
Simply Sensational January Calendar (Mill Hill)
Lady of the Flag (Mirabilia)
  #16  
Old January 19th 04, 12:24 PM
zita_tempest
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I give my oh so dear MIL credit for not treating me that way although I
swear the woman doesn't like me. She told me one day that what she said to
her son was none of my business and how I felt about her
swearing--repeatedly--at us on our wedding day was my problem....sighs.

Isabel

"Deb Milner" wrote in message
...
On 15 Jan 2004 16:15:00 GMT, (BDS2pds) wrote:

I don't want you all to think I am ungrateful.... She did not present it

as
valuable. She handed others pearls, paintings, significant things at the
meeting. I realize now that I was feeling slighted once again by her and
feeling much stronger about it now. I did not marry her--I married her

son and
he does not treat me badly. It was embarassing.



My former MIL was that way to me, I (and most of the family) could
tell that she didn't really like me.

One glaring example was the year that she held the joint birthday
party for my SIL and Nephew (both with birthdays on the 21st of
December), with a beautiful cake wishing them both a Happy Birthday,
and lovely gifts. Since the 21st was on Wednesday that year, she had
the party on Sunday, the 18th, which actually IS my birthday.

When my former DH mentioned it to her, and that perhaps my name should
have been on the cake, her response to him was "Why?".

I would get the K-Mart flannel nightgown for Christmas, while here
other DIL and SIL would get beautiful gifts.

I finally got used to it, but it still always hurt some.

What is truly ironic is that a few years ago, she had a stroke.
Fortunately, she did not wind up with any paralysis, unfortunately,
she has severe memory and cognitive problems.

While in the hospital, one of her nurses apparently resembled me to a
certain extent. She was absolutely tickled and waxed enthusiastic to
my ex and his siblings about how wonderful it was that I had come to
take care of her while she was ill. No amount of clarification could
convince her that the nurse was not me.

When I was up to visit that summer, she thanked me for being there for
her, and told me how very happy she was to see me. After all, I had
always been her favorite.

For years, she did NOT like me at all. She made it very clear. She
would say the most horrible things about me to others.

NOW, I am and have always been her favorite DIL, and she is always
happy to see me.


--
Deb

WIP: How Great Thou Art (Leisure Arts Greatest Hymns II)



  #17  
Old January 19th 04, 02:28 PM
KDLark
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My ex-mother in law couldn't stand me, but she had enough sense to give me
decent gifts . Her son, however, was a different story. I was too dense to
see what receiving no flowers following our daughter's birth meant, but after
he bought some for his secretary the following year and gave me a cheap K-mart
type nightie in size sixteen (I was a size 9) for Christmas, I began to wise
up. Eventually he divorced me and married the secretary, who proceded
(according to his mother) to try to take him for everything he had in their
divorce. The latest I've hear is that he was sent to jail for DWI. Time
wounds all heels; and I'm glad I escaped from that one!

Katrina L.
 




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