OFF TOPIC - pierced ears

Cheryl
Parenting is the same all over the world
we try to give the best we can and hope for the best ,
But some of us have different opinions as to what is valuable for
life.
Well said Melinda. Parenting must be easier in other countries.
C

Well
Melinda , my culture tells me that he who disrepects a penny will
never have a pound !!!
And anyway Educationg is Not about battles it is about example ,
speaking listening wishing , In education there are no molehills nore
mountains every thing is a matter to understand ,,, to learn from,
both parents and kids ,,,
mirjam
ote:

Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:

Education is not about
`picking battles` , nore about `save the argument[s]` , educating is
living every moment in the manner one expects or hopes a child will
learn from . But it also about giving choices , and tools to choose
with ,,,

Mirjam,

The issue of choosing one's battles means that you major on the majors
and minor on the minors, and don't make a mountain out of a molehill.
Some things are truly minor in the long run and not worth making a major
stink about, and other things are more important.

For example, lining young children up for a Spanish Inquisition type of
interrogation for one missing pen, fork, battery, or whatever other
equally trivial, easily misplaced by anybody, and equally replaceable
item you may think of is overkill and not a battle that any sensible
parent should choose to make a major issue of, but things like illegal
drugs and other things that can cause major damage to one's health are
more important to enforce rigorously.

--
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your
work with excellence.

Mirjam Bruck-Cohen wrote:

And anyway Educationg is Not about battles it is about example ,
speaking listening wishing , In education there are no molehills nore
mountains every thing is a matter to understand ,,, to learn from,
both parents and kids ,,,

Well, raising a child is more than mere education in my book; it is
developing a relationship with them as well. Nevertheless, I don't know
of any country that punishes petty thieves in exactly the same way that
they punish murderers, and in the same vein, raising a child not every
single issue is a life-or-death matter that necessitates massive
punishment for an infraction. I would not punish a child who lost a
pencil. I would not *punish* a child who carelessly broke a pane of
glass, although if they were old enough I would have them help with
replacing it if it was not done by a professional and I would also have
them do chores or whatever to cover at least part of the cost of
replacing it if they had done this before and should have known better
(I had one child who broke glass panes 4 or 5 times). Those are minor
issues, and some parents get so hung up on them that they do the
equivalent of swatting a fly with a sledgehammer. That does not help
the child; it only crushes them and kills their spirit.

Show me a perfect child, and I will show you a parent who has blinders
on who is raising someone who will become a spoiled brat. All children
will need to be disciplined at some point. If you have major
punishments for minor infractions, the intelligent child will say,
"Well, if I'm going to get grounded for a month for coming in 5 minutes
late or 4 hours late, I might as well come in 4 hours late," thus
defeating the purpose of asking them to come home on time.


--
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your
work with excellence.

Cheryl Isaak wrote:

Well said Melinda. Parenting must be easier in other countries.
C



I'm told that the sort of stuff we have on TV here does affect parenting
vis-a-vis countries that keep the smut/violence down or perhaps don't
have much TV at all.

I have friends in Jamaica, which we think of as being a relatively
civilized country, who are absolutely amazed at the fact that we have so
many broadcast channels and that they are on the air 24 hours a day.
They were telling me about a big national songwriting competition that
was televised, taking up pretty much the whole day -- no US network
would devote that much time to amateur songwriters who know the key to
winning is to write something patriotic/historic. For that event, TV
went on-air earlier than usual that day.

And my cousin did a medical mission in Africa, and found that most of
her patients had no access to TV at all. Much easier to make your
children learn from *you* what is acceptable behavior when the only
people they see to model from are other family members (tribes being
interrelated).

They don't see the doctors on M*A*S*H drinking to excess, they don't see
the conspicuous consumption on almost every show, they don't see the
lawyers on L.A. Law "doing it" in their offices (I worked in law offices
for 20 years, and no one I ever worked with did "it" in their office.
They may have rented a motel room and did "it" on lunch hour, but
offices do not have locks, and the senior partner feels free to burst in
on you at any time whether the door is closed or not). If they don't
see these things portrayed as acceptable on TV, it's much easier for you
to convince them that it's not acceptable behavior.



--
Karen C - California
www.CFSfacts.org where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf

Finished 10/21/07 - Floral Elegance Collection "Crocus"

WIP: The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel,
Flowers of Hawaii (Jeanette Crews) for ME!!!
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel

Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com
Design page http://www.KarenMCampbell.com/designs.html

Cheryl Isaak wrote:

On 11/27/07 10:23 PM, in article , "Karen
C in California" wrote:
So maybe that's the solution to kids who really really want a tattoo ...
decide that you want half a dozen yourself.



Why does that just seem wrong?


I didn't say you had to get them. Just talk about it. And the more
embarrassing, the better. I think you'd look lovely with "Red Hot Mama"
just above your cleavage. And I think just suggesting that would
make your DS faint dead away.


--
Karen C - California
www.CFSfacts.org where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf

Finished 10/21/07 - Floral Elegance Collection "Crocus"

WIP: The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel,
Flowers of Hawaii (Jeanette Crews) for ME!!!
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel

Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com
Design page http://www.KarenMCampbell.com/designs.html

"Karen C in California" wrote in message
...
Cheryl Isaak wrote:

On 11/27/07 10:23 PM, in article ,
"Karen
C in California" wrote:
So maybe that's the solution to kids who really really want a tattoo ...
decide that you want half a dozen yourself.



Why does that just seem wrong?


I didn't say you had to get them. Just talk about it. And the more
embarrassing, the better. I think you'd look lovely with "Red Hot Mama"
just above your cleavage. And I think just suggesting that would make
your DS faint dead away.


--
Karen C - California
www.CFSfacts.org where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf

Finished 10/21/07 - Floral Elegance Collection "Crocus"

WIP: The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel,
Flowers of Hawaii (Jeanette Crews) for ME!!!
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel

Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com
Design page http://www.KarenMCampbell.com/designs.html


I learned a long time ago to never second guess a teenager, especially a
boy.

Karen C in California wrote:
Cheryl Isaak wrote:

On 11/27/07 10:23 PM, in article ,
"Karen
C in California" wrote:

So maybe that's the solution to kids who really really want a tattoo ...
decide that you want half a dozen yourself.




Why does that just seem wrong?


I didn't say you had to get them. Just talk about it. And the more
embarrassing, the better. I think you'd look lovely with "Red Hot Mama"
just above your cleavage. And I think just suggesting that would
make your DS faint dead away.


Don't you think a gorgeous dragon, with it's tail curling down into the
cleavage would look better?? Maybe a pair of them!

On 11/28/07 2:24 PM, in article , "Karen C
in California" wrote:

Cheryl Isaak wrote:

On 11/27/07 10:23 PM, in article , "Karen
C in California" wrote:
So maybe that's the solution to kids who really really want a tattoo ...
decide that you want half a dozen yourself.



Why does that just seem wrong?


I didn't say you had to get them. Just talk about it. And the more
embarrassing, the better. I think you'd look lovely with "Red Hot Mama"
just above your cleavage. And I think just suggesting that would
make your DS faint dead away.

First, I need cleavage to put it on

On Nov 28, 10:06 am, Cheryl Isaak wrote:
On 11/27/07 10:23 PM, in article , "Karen
C in California" wrote:

So maybe that's the solution to kids who really really want a tattoo ...
decide that you want half a dozen yourself.

Why does that just seem wrong?

LOL! Because if you look at it a different way it's like saying, "Do
as I say, not as I do!" And we all know how *that* goes!

Joan

"Mirjam Bruck-Cohen" wrote in message
...
Well
Melinda , my culture tells me that he who disrepects a penny will
never have a pound !!!
And anyway Educationg is Not about battles it is about example ,
speaking listening wishing , In education there are no molehills nore
mountains every thing is a matter to understand ,,, to learn from,
both parents and kids ,,,
mirjam
ote:

Mirjam, you aren't arguing about substance here, just about style; the
ladies responding to you actually agree with you and vice versa; you
shouldn't get upset about a colloquialism.

"Pick your battles" simply means to prioritize...and believe me, 'parenting"
and "teaching" are NOT synonyms, exactly!

Parenting involves so much more than 'teaching,' and as a teacher and a
mother myself, believe me; I know this very well indeed. Parenting
encompases teaching---and protection and loving and all the other stuff as
well. Sometimes being a parent means that you have to allow the child to
learn from his or her own mistakes. Sometimes it means that the consequences
of a wrong decision are so bad that you simply cannot allow the child to
MAKE that decision if you can possibly prevent it, and *that* is what
'picking your battles' means.

Parenting IS about battles, and molehills, and mountains. It's about, first,
keeping your child alive until he or she reaches adulthood. Second, keeping
your child healthy. Third, keeping your child educated in your moral,
ethical and cultural preferences. That's our job as parents, in exactly that
order.

When you realize this, you know that sometimes there really ARE
battles...and battles that you, as a parent, had better be prepared to go
all out to win, because the result of your losing are unthinkable. If you
lose them, you and your child both lose. If you win, you both win.