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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?



 
 
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Old August 30th 06, 02:33 AM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
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Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?


"Tricia" wrote in message
ups.com...
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

Not offended, we all come here for help with various needs, it's all good.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

You'll laugh at this, but I learned about makeup (initially) from my
*younger* cousin!! SHe is 10 months younger than me nad has ALWAYS been
ahead of me in things (heels, perms, short skirts, makeup). SHe taught
me 1-color eyeshadow application, lining under my eyes (actually ON the
lower lid, which I don't do nowdays), and other nonsense. I didn't
actually wear makeup until a few years later, and God help me, it was
the '80s, so I had purple and baby blue eyeshadow - not good for someone
with blue eyes!! Once I saw my 8th grade picture, I decided to ask for
help. Mother had a friend that was hosting an Amway party - we could
have our colors done for free and we could try makeup (with the thought
that we would buy something). That's where I learned that shades of
brown are *really* good for me (reddish-brown hair, peachy tint to skin,
blue eyes). I also learned that red lipstick is NOT for me!! Flash
forward a few years to when I started working for The Body Shop (btw,
they also do free makeovers) and I learned even more - cleansers,
moisturizers, pwder vs. cream./liquid. I went through several phases
between those 2 major learning experiences, mostly trial and error
because Mother didn't want to help me and friends were all so different.

Sophomore year in HS: hair was short in back with longer bits on the
top, 3 very blonde streaks in it, and as immovable as a Ken doll.
makeup was the precursor to today's Goth (hey, I started a trend!! lol)
- grey and black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, NO blush, DARK red lipstick

Junior Yr: longer hair, slight layers, very minimal makeup, NO black!

Sr year: spent at the local community college, where I was the youngest
student at the time (16). Rarely even wore the "basics" of lipstick and
mascara.

Have NEVER subscribed to the opinion that I need to wear makeup whenever
I go out of the house. I do a "full face" for special events (like DHs
company holiday party), but if it is not as special, I might only do
eyeliner and a light lipstick. NO sense doing mascara when my eyelashes
are already long and thick (my glasses sit down a bit so my lashes won't
hit them...and yes, both children have inherited them from me!).

Clothes...I've pretyt much set my own path here. When I was younger,
mom and dad taught me how to sew and they both made clothes for me (mom
more than dad). I learned how to make things for myself, and LOVED home
ec classes because I got credit for doing something I absolutely loved.
I have had a few misses (such as the retro outfit - full skirt, thanks
to a HUGE crinoline, with an off the shoulder top....never finished that
crinoline, never wore the outfit), but in general, I have been able to
work with my body type and personal preferences to come up with
soimething that works. IN high school, I was always ahead of
trends...still not sure how that happened as I was not in the head
clique. But I can remember when military styled jackets first came into
popularity in the late 80s...I had been wearing them for months!! ANd
prom of my junior year, I wor a strapless, mint green (SO not my color)
dress with a mermaid hemline.....trends we straplees; pastel colors;
mermaid hemlines.....go figure that one out!!!

Best I can say with regards to clothing is to find something that truly
flatters you - don't be afraid to ask for help from salespeople to find
something that really looks good and makes you FEEL good!!

I have to agree with Kate about the glasses - I have a round face as
well, and when I got my last pair of glasses, they told me my frames
were only making it look rounder! I now have small oval shaped frames
and I love them (good thing I don't still need bifocals or else I
couldn't have these frames). I was told that, they pupil should be in
the center of the lens, and the glasses should only be *slightly* bigger
than the area of the eye...hence the new frames...took a while to get
used to, but I wouldn't go back to the others for anything. SOmething
to consider for the future.

Let's see....hair...well, I covered that a little bit earlier. However,
I have been jet black, white blonde, neon red, strawberry blonde, and on
one horriffic misadventure, gatorade yellow (bleaching gone awry, was
fixed with a second bleaching then a light brown dye applied). I am
currently at my natural color - deep auburn....only now, it is getting
those lovely silver highlights in it (either don't show up or show up
all at once, 1 at a time is driving me mad!). It is very fine, but very
thick...AND it is incredibly wavy. Of course, I knew this, but refused
to do anything with it as both my DH and I like me having long hair.
ENter a dear friend from church...she told me I was a frizzball and
asked how I wore my hair - usually in a ponytail because it was so heavy
and worthless if it was down. She didn't take much off the back length,
but she cut in long layers, which eased out the frizz and brought out my
natural curls...looks completely different!! I have never seen my hair
look like this before, and I love it!! Just something to think about -
even if you are "used" to a certain haircut, doesn't mean that it is the
right one for you - lifestyle, face shape, etc. are all things you
should take into consideration.

Guess that's about it....just fyi, I am usually in jeans and a t-shirt
unless it's something where I have to look like more than a SAHM...in
shich case, I lean towards slacks and a nice top...sometimes you can get
me to wear a skirt or dress, but only on the days where I am not dealing
with hormonal issues.

Larisa, who is still sick but wanted to get a jump on this thread


Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia



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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"? Tricia Quilting 104 September 1st 06 10:28 PM


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