OT - Story: My child hating reputation

tee hee - you sound like my twin!

At least with the cats I can always ban them from being near my beads

Kathy K


"Carla" wrote in message
link.net...
I used to hear it *lots* back when I was still breedable g. "What
would happen to the world if more women felt like you? If they just
decided they didn't *want* kids, huh?" I'd answer with stuff like,
"There'd be a lot fewer idiots in traffic."

Lessee...I was also called a race traitor ("It's your *duty* as a Black
woman to be the mother of future leaders of our people!")

Eh...at my age, I don't get those kind of questions/remarks anymore g.
People want to know if I regret that I'll never have grandchildren.
(No, they'd want to touch my beads!)

Cheers,
Carla

Kalera Stratton wrote:

splort HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

cough cough cough choke

Who came up with that COMPLETELY MENTALLY DEFICIENT line of reasoning?

I'm sorry, I love kids and I'm glad I had them but that is the funniest
thing I've heard in a long time!

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Carla wrote:

The "selfishness" comes from not doing our part to ensure the future
of the human race (that's what I've been told, anyway). Oh, and let's
not forget "emotionally stunted".

Cheers,
Carla (selfishly childfree g)

Kalera Stratton wrote:

I'm boggling.

What do people think is selfish about not having children? I always
thought it was the opposite!

uh oh - sounds like she is channeling Sooz!

Kathy K
"Kalera Stratton" wrote in message
...
DUDE! This is the most random and wierd thing, but Juliet just said
"Mom, someday can you take me to Las Vegas?"

?????

I asked her where she came up with that, and she said "I hear things in
my brain sometimes, and my brain told me that I want to go to Las Vegas."

My child is WIERD.

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Kalera Stratton wrote:
boggle WHO takes a baby to Las Vegas??? And WHY???

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay

Maybe I'm unusually blasé about this issue.

I had my first at 18, 37 years ago. Roger was an "accident". And that term
may seem offensive to some now, but 37 years ago was before birth control
was reliable, and accidents were just a fact of life. Actually "accident"
was a much nicer term than "mistake", which was usually more correct!

Instead of having people ask why I didn't have children, I had people
deliberately refraining from criticizing me for "getting myself pregnant".
At 18 this was certainly no "planned family".

I may have been blissfully ignorant. I may have considered that we all have
whatever our own reproductive luck we have. The criticisms I heard were
about those un-restrained Catholic breeders, all with 5 or 6 children.
People without children a year after getting married, were assumed to be
lucky, or maybe they were professional people who went to a lot of trouble,
and some sacrifice (of pleasure) to avoid having children before they could
care for them.

Usually people were politely quiet about children having children as in my
case, as well as people being unwilling or unable to have children.

I don't think people who don't have children are selfish. I do think that
many people who wish they had children are better off than they would have
been if they had been very fertile and had had children as teen-agers.

Tina


"Kalera Stratton" wrote in message
...
That's another one of those things I wonder about... why people have the
sheel gall to ask about your reproductive life in the first place.

When I was pregnant with Sam, some of my coworkers seemed to think it
was impossible that it had been a purposeful pregnancy. (I was 28 but
looked 19.) The third time someone asked if my pregnancy was "planned",
I said "Well, my husband and I *weren't* using birth control, but we
*were* having sex, so it wasn't completely unexpected." (something to
that effect, I don't remember the exact wording.) You have never seen so
much backpedaling in your entire life! It was hilarious!

Another person asked me "how it happened". I looked at them like "YOU
HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME" and asked "Do you really need me to explain it?"

What is WRONG with people? WHY do they feel like your reproductive tract
is their business?

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Dr. Sooz wrote:
No one *dares* tell me I went without giving birth because I'm
"selfish". I
will then tell them the horrible story of how ruined I was to be found
sterile
at age 19 -- with details of the surgery and recovery. Hope they feel
like
heels.
~~
Sooz
-------
"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry."
John
Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html

Haw haw! Well, that info about Juliet's brain even had ME a tad scared......

uh oh - sounds like she is channeling Sooz!

Kathy K
"Kalera Stratton" wrote in message
...
DUDE! This is the most random and wierd thing, but Juliet just said
"Mom, someday can you take me to Las Vegas?"

?????

I asked her where she came up with that, and she said "I hear things in
my brain sometimes, and my brain told me that I want to go to Las Vegas."

My child is WIERD.


~~
Sooz
-------
"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John
Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html

"Dr. Sooz" wrote:


Good way to get your child snatched by perverts. Who else do they think
hangs
out in malls, looking for kids to prey upon? Big DUH.
~~

Remember Adam Walsh.


Linda2

Hmm. I think it was common to loan children out in the Scandinavian countries
as well. My great grandmother had 13 children. (Very tired looking woman in the
photo.) It is my understanding that at least a couple of them were raised by
other relatives. A great grandfather from another branch of the family tree was
a 'loan'. And I know my aunt on my mother's side spoke of several relatives who
ended up being raised by people other than their parents. Of course in those
days, people never left their villages, so a child probably often still was in
close contact with the birth family.
Dora

"Christina Peterson"


My daughter asked if I felt bad that I didn't have any grandchildren (5
years ago). I responded that I could always borrow them. And after saying
that I realized it was an odd thing to say. But you see, in Alaska, both
the Athabaskan and the Eskimo societies believe children are an asset of the
village/tribe, and they are shared.

Someone with 6 children would probably have a daughter living with a
relative without daughters, or a son living with an uncle who needed someone
to pass on his skills/trade to. A child would be "given" to an
"grandparent" to learn stories or herbal lore, while hauling water for the
elder. These traditions were more necessary in more difficult times, but
they are still part of the lifestyle.

People "from the village" commonly speak of "my mother" referring to someone
who birthed them, and "my Mom" as someone who raised them, or someone who
took over their care when there was some sort of problem. And they might
have as many as 3 or 4 of these "my mother"s. There is acknowledgement that
all children are not psychologically suited to their parents. We all love
our children, but sometimes we don't like them. There's no shame in that.

We need uncles and grandparents and cousins, etc, but they don't have to be
blood relatives. And every village needs children, but not every adult
needs them.

Tina


"Carla" wrote ...
People want to know if I regret that I'll never have grandchildren.
(No, they'd want to touch my beads!)

Cheers,
Carla

Oh, villages vary from less than a hundred to a few thousand. It's the kind
of thing that evolved from a small group of people needing to be very
careful to make full use of their "human resources" in a hostile
environment. The dynamic continues as people move to towns, like Nome, etc.

Tina


"vj" wrote in message
...
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson"
:

]We need uncles and grandparents and cousins, etc, but they don't have to
be
]blood relatives. And every village needs children, but not every adult
]needs them.

it certainly sounds like it works.
how large [in numbers] is each village, tho?


-----------
@vicki [SnuggleWench]
(Books) http://www.booksnbytes.com
newest creations: http://www.vickijean.com/new.html
-----------
I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America,
and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples,
promising liberty and justice for all.

I imagine my grandparents were born at a similar time to your grandmother --
in the 1860s, in Denmark.

As the daughter of a "man of means" (farm owner, in this case), she was sent
to a neighbour to be trained where she earned the title of "Butter-maker"
(Denmark's major export), after which she came home as a professional
Butter-maker.

My grandfather grew up on a shore, where hardly any plants grew, to a
sea-faring family. They were followers of Martin Luther, and because they
believed in sharing all they had, they were very poor. When he was 12, my
grandfather was "turned over" to a rich farmer to be his "boy" (young farm
hand). Though he never had even a day of school, my grandfather came to own
a store, and was successful enough to move to the USA and owned a store
there. I wonder if my grandmother taught he reading writing and
Arithmetic. After a few years in America, Grandpa sent for Beste. She
spend 3 weeks first on a ship and then on a train to get to him. She was
unable to speak English and had 6 children with her

So, it looks like children were sent out to learn a trade as my grandmother
did, and also to make their own way in the world as my grandfather did, when
they were teens or near teens.

Children were shared for the resource they were, but there was also great
affection. And of course, with Queen Kristine of Sweden, the Scandinavian
countries also had a strong tradition of strong women.

Tina




"Bungadora" wrote in message
...
Hmm. I think it was common to loan children out in the Scandinavian
countries
as well. My great grandmother had 13 children. (Very tired looking woman
in the
photo.) It is my understanding that at least a couple of them were raised
by
other relatives. A great grandfather from another branch of the family
tree was
a 'loan'. And I know my aunt on my mother's side spoke of several
relatives who
ended up being raised by people other than their parents. Of course in
those
days, people never left their villages, so a child probably often still
was in
close contact with the birth family.
Dora

"Christina Peterson"


My daughter asked if I felt bad that I didn't have any grandchildren (5
years ago). I responded that I could always borrow them. And after
saying
that I realized it was an odd thing to say. But you see, in Alaska, both
the Athabaskan and the Eskimo societies believe children are an asset of
the
village/tribe, and they are shared.

Someone with 6 children would probably have a daughter living with a
relative without daughters, or a son living with an uncle who needed
someone
to pass on his skills/trade to. A child would be "given" to an
"grandparent" to learn stories or herbal lore, while hauling water for
the
elder. These traditions were more necessary in more difficult times, but
they are still part of the lifestyle.

People "from the village" commonly speak of "my mother" referring to
someone
who birthed them, and "my Mom" as someone who raised them, or someone who
took over their care when there was some sort of problem. And they might
have as many as 3 or 4 of these "my mother"s. There is acknowledgement
that
all children are not psychologically suited to their parents. We all
love
our children, but sometimes we don't like them. There's no shame in
that.

We need uncles and grandparents and cousins, etc, but they don't have to
be
blood relatives. And every village needs children, but not every adult
needs them.

Tina


"Carla" wrote ...
People want to know if I regret that I'll never have grandchildren.
(No, they'd want to touch my beads!)

Cheers,
Carla

The ties are strong enough that this sort of thing continues to work as
people move from the villages to Fairbanks and Anchorage. It's just a
different attitude. People consider the children to belong to the village
and the child's ownself, rather than to the parent.

Tina


"vj" wrote in message
...
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson"
:

]Oh, villages vary from less than a hundred to a few thousand. It's the
kind
]of thing that evolved from a small group of people needing to be very
]careful to make full use of their "human resources" in a hostile
]environment. The dynamic continues as people move to towns, like Nome,
etc.

that's what i thought.
my mind was boggling at the idea of getting it to work in someplace
like Sacrament, San Francisco, LA, or even Paradise.


-----------
@vicki [SnuggleWench]
(Books) http://www.booksnbytes.com
newest creations: http://www.vickijean.com/new.html
-----------
I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America,
and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples,
promising liberty and justice for all.

That's one of the reasons why I love Alaska and the Alaskans. The culture
is just so different up there.

"vj" wrote in message
...
vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson"
:

]The ties are strong enough that this sort of thing continues to work as
]people move from the villages to Fairbanks and Anchorage. It's just a
]different attitude. People consider the children to belong to the
village
]and the child's ownself, rather than to the parent.

fascinating.


-----------
@vicki [SnuggleWench]
(Books) http://www.booksnbytes.com
newest creations: http://www.vickijean.com/new.html
-----------
I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America,
and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples,
promising liberty and justice for all.