Not Likely wrote:
The last time we were at the vet's for shots, she told us that Buffy
had a cancerous tumor in her stomach and that all rules were out the
window now... we should just feed Buffy whatever she wanted whenever
she wanted it until it came the time that she stopped eating
completely herself and that would be the end. Well that time came
yesterday!
The night before Buffy was in the laundryroom (her domain) and started
crying and standing by the door to go outside. Matthew let her out,
and went out with her for a while before deciding to put her water
bowl out and going to bed himself. She was okay, just quietly
wandering around and not crying anymore. We talked about it and
decided that she just wanted to be outside... she had always been an
outdoor dog until she got older and started wanting to be in the
house more. When I looked out in the morning, Buffy was laying in
the middle of the yard, head up and looking around.... so I let
Casper out. When she saw him, she got up and was happily
half-running (something she hadn't done in a long time) along with
him, tail wagging and she had a happy doggy smile on her face
(something else we hadn't seen often over the last couple of weeks).
I waited a couple of hours to let Casper come in and got their food
ready. His was put in it's usual spot in the house, and Buffy's I
brought outside to her along with her pill for arthritis. She was
laying down again, and turned her nose up at the food. She wouldn't
take her pill either. I tried putting it in her mouth and holding
her muzzle shut until it was gone, like the vet had told me to do
before if she didn't take it. After a few minutes, and assuming by
now she had swallowed it, I let her go... she spit it back out. I
laid it in her food dish and came in to tell Matthew so he could try.
She wouldn't take it or eat for him either... so from time to time
throughout the day we took turns going out to pat her and talk to
her, and Casper would go out every so often too. However the last
time Casper went out, he wouldn't go anywhere near her... in fact he
stood against the garage wall (she had chosen a spot to lay in the
middle of the yard under the maple trees) looking at her with his
head and tail down, then he turned and came back in the house... even
though he hadn't relieved himself for a few hours.
We had been invited to go to a barbecue/Canada Day celebration with
Bobbie-Jo (a friend of Matthew's who may or may not turn into more
than just a friend, but for now they are just friends) and her
family, so we checked Buffy again before leaving and decided that we
really needed to have a bit of time to enjoy ourselves. Buffy was
basically being unresponsive... just laying there only lifting her
head when we would pat her, and totally refusing to eat. We knew
that she would likely not make it through the night, and sad as it
was to lose her, we knew she was uncomfortable and wanted to die so
we did pray for her release. In one way we wished we had been home
with her when the end came, but in another way we knew that she just
wanted to be left to rest and it would have been heartbreaking for
Matthew to watch his first pet die. So after spending an enjoyable
evening with friends, we came home knowing in our hearts what would
meet us. Sure enough... Matthew went to Buffy and she was dead.
We let Casper come out (because he hadn't relieved himself for all
those hours. This time he walked over beside Buffy with his head and
tail lowered, and walked around her completely. Then he went to the
back of the yard to relieve himself and came down to walk close to
Buffy one more time before going to the back door to go inside. Matthew
and I went out again. I sat on the step while he knelt by her
side for a few minutes, patting her and saying goodbye... it was
heartbreaking to watch. Then we put her into a large garbage bag
(like the vet had done with my last dog before Matthew was born) so
he can bury her. Because there is no light back in the corner of the
yard where he wants to bury her, he placed her in the garage
overnight until he can dig her grave today.
If anyone knows the url for the (I think it's called...) "Rainbow
Bridge" website (the one with the lovely touching poem about pets
waiting on the other side for us), I would really appreciate having
it. I'm sure I have it somewhere, I just can't think of where it is
right now... and I would love to share it with Matthew.

Buffy's pain is over now, I'm sure she is with St Francis of Assisi
and my Dad (who also cared for animals while living here on Earth)
now... and she is once again able to run and play happily without
pain like she used to in her younger days.

*hugs*
Gemini

Oh so sorry for your loss.

Donna